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Trying to control this is not working
Ever since life “hit the fan” a year ago (after my dad passed) and we all realized mom’s memory issues were worse than anyone thought, I’ve been running on adrenaline and fact finding. TLDR: this sucks and trying to beat it into submission by controlling it only pushes the sadness down, not away. In 8 months we have:…
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That darn cat…
I had to put one of my mother’s cats down on Monday. Thought she had an abscessed tooth or something kind of minor. Turns out it was a cancerous mass under her tongue and she was probably in extreme pain. Also lost quite a bit of weight apparently. She was an older kitty so the day was coming somewhere down the line, but…
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For tmo81: FIL Driving
Your post and replies: Posted: Wednesday, November 16, 2022 3:06 PM Joined: 11/16/2022 Posts: 1 We need to take away my father in laws driving privileges' but have no clue how to go about it, no matter what avenue we take he will forget he agreed to it and be looking for his keys or car the next day possibly thinking it…
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Newbie here-only child w mom in ALF
New here. Only child (no siblings, ever) making sure my mom is happy and comfortable with the best care possible, although I live nearly four hours away. My mom is 94 & somewhere between stages 5 and 6 dementia. She and my dad always lived in the city she's in (he died a few years ago), and she has one younger sister there…
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Processing this
His voice is the same and he looks like him but I miss my dad so much. It's so hard having a familiar stranger with a completely different personality living in the house. It's messing with me. I am terrified I will forget my father and only remember the dementia. Is this likely? Because I want to remember the good times…
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Monster in the Mind
I stumbled on this 1-hour documentary this weekend and wanted to share with you all. It's a former CNN reporter who is now in her 80s and has the APOE-e4 gene and wanted to know how likely she is to get the disease. It's informative, busts some myths that I certainly held about the genetics and avoidance of the disease,…
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Head Full of Honey
I watched this movie last night. Wondering if anyone else has and what you thought? It has some big names in it. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5836706/
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No shower for months
Hello, I have read a bunch of archived discussions on showering/bathing but I am still at a loss of what to do. My mom does not shower and has no interest in showering. There is no bathtub in the condo but we did install and hand sprayer. She also is incontinent and stinks. Her condo is starting to stink too. When I try to…
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This may be it
I will write more detail later, but just want to ask for everyone's thoughts and prayers. This may be it for my FIL. So he had Covid 2 weeks ago - which he recovered from pretty quickly. Within 5 days, he had no fever, 02 was normal, he was alert, and mostly back to his baseline cognitiviely, and his lungs were clear per…
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To tell or not to tell(3)
Hello, thank you for reading this and would appreciate any feedback. My mom was diagnosed with dementia approximately 4 years ago. Her memory loss is primarily short term so we have multiple conversations of the same thing. It has gotten worse and worse with the situation we all dealt with covid lockdowns, etc. She is…
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Questions to ask when planning for the next few years
My (28f) mother (54) was recently diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s. My father, siblings, and I already know her wishes for end of life care, but I want to have a discussion with my parents and siblings about what my mom envisions for her life over the next 5-10 years. We obviously don’t know how fast this will…
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Hospice...Now What?
90 yo mom with multiple health issues is recently approved for in home Hospice care. Mom's PCP invoked the Health Care Proxy, but I don't know what to expect from Hospice. These are the highlights read in the handbook: 1) The hospice team works closely with family/doctor to develop a plan of care based on our…
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Where do we go from here?(2)
Hi. I’m new here and joined in hopes of getting some insight into how to best take care of mymother in law. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s about a year ago. She has been living in an independent living facility for about two years. About eight months ago, we realized that it was time to look for an assisted living…
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Moving to facility...should he keep his cellphone?
My father with moderate Alzheimer's is moving to a facility (board and care) today. I wanted to take care of him until the very end, but he started getting extremely violent towards my mom with a delusion that she has been unfaithful to him...so he cannot stay. I went ahead and deleted my mom's number from his phone, along…
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Well, it's happened
Hi, I have posted a couple of times; my Dad (pwd) was diagnosed 6 years ago w/AD. He no longer 100% knows who I am. Last weekend was a family wedding; one of my niece's got married! My husband and I flew to where my parents live, and drove them the few hours to the rehearsal dinner and wedding. It was a beautiful occasion…
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Poem for my FIL (religious)
When the roads to your memories became blocked, and this disease hid you away, the father and grandfather as we used to know was slowly fading away. A man of few words, became the man of no words, with recollections all askew, but when you couldn’t talk, we became your voice, because, when you couldn’t see us, we saw you.…
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soothing video programs for PWD?
Hi everyone, I'm looking for tips on "video" programming that can be present in the background and provide a comforting experience for a bed / chair bound LO. A friend recommended Zinnia TV (programming for PWD) - does anyone here use this and would you be willing to comment on how it works for you? My mom with late-stage…
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Too much TV and music as overstimulating
We have 24/7 care for my Mom. I and several of my siblings feel that thecaregivers use the TV excessively, sometimes all day into the night. We have asked repeatedly for them to turn off the TV or music from the TV, while she is resting/sleeping or doing another activity. When she is watching the TV she seems to go into a…
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Caregiver for my beloved auntie
Hi there, I’m sorry for the long post. I’ve retired and purchased my aunt’s home and moved here from out of state so that she can return to her home after living with her son’s family for a year. It’s confusing to her that I “own” her home and that no one told her about the arrangements (we did). The night before last, she…
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Neuropathy in Hands - Still
I'm back with the same problem - neuropathy in LO hands. Mostly, his thumb, index, middle finger of his right hand. Some pain in his left. The Gabipentine works some and then not at all. He is now taking it 3x a day (total 300 mgs). He is still very unhappy and told me that he will cut his hand off. I can't stand that he…
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Sleepless for days
Sleepless for days - help needed. My mom has Alz, mid-stage likely, lives in SNF. Doesn''t sleep all night or day for two days at a time. Over the past year it used to happen once a month. It''s progressed to 1-2 times a week. On the first day without sleep she gets hyper, talkative, her memory gets better (!), but hearing…
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Thinking about care giving for PWD.
I feel like dementia is a grenade. It doesn't just hurt the patient but everyone around them, caregivers, family, even medical providers get hit with shrapnel. I'm sure Huntington's is similar. And others I don't know of. It makes everything so difficult. I'm so worried about my mom because she gets up when my dad is…
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keeping car?
Hi, my husband has been newly diagnosed. So far his memory has not been affected but his speech has become unintelligible. He is not supposed to drive so I have arranged for a friend to transport him. Question: Should I sell his car now? Later when I need home care, it may be helpful to have a car for the home care staff…
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Telling LO about diagnosis/issues?
My Mom moved to my city this week and is doing great, all things considered. I’m giving her time to adjust to her new place (assisted living/memory care), which is super close to me so she’s sleeping here while we get her place set up. She’s so alert sometimes but definitely in the right place. We have to schedule a follow…
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FYI(13)
https://www.nia.nih.gov/sites/default/files/2022-11/2022_nih_progress_report_ad-adrd_research_1.pdf
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Moms “man-friend”
My 82 yo mom was recently diagnosed with mci. But the drs and I believed then there was more to it. Mom wasn’t taking her medication correctly so we have corrected that now. I have no doubt we will get the official diagnosis on next visit and believe it’s much farther advanced . My mom has a man friend, and since I had to…
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Fear of physical harm
Hello all. My mom is the primary caregiver of my step dad with Alzheimer’s. He had a heart attack on Halloween and had three stints placed. He was brought home this past Sunday. While he was in the hospital he became very violent several times and was restrained most of the time he was there. Now that he is home the…
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How could Hell be any worse.... Venting
First of all, to all you caring for a loved one who's suffering from this disease.... you're suffering from it too. This is Hell. And it's only getting worse. Sometimes she so sweet and we share laughs during the day and I think she's still in there somewhere... then something will happen, or she'll say something and who…
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New to here : Wishing all of you (and your loved ones) the best
Hi everyone, My FIL (father in law) has dementia. I believe it is VD, if i recall. Sadly, he has been violent for the past 1-1.5 years with my MIL. She is the primary caregiver and both are not working. Is there a FAQ or section where I can quickly read up on that relates to: - where is the "best" memory care facilities…
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Prescriptions
My DH is at the beginning of stage 5. My work open enrollment for FSA card is coming up. What’s the average monthly cost I could expect for prescriptions for him. Seraqol, Zoloft, etc