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When am I getting out of here? What do you say?
My LO is in MC. But where ever she is, she constantly says, "I can't wait to get out of here." "I am a prisoner." "Where am I going next?" What do you all say to your LOs in these circumstances? She is in a new place near me. But she said the same thing at the before. I need a response that won't upset her and will let her…
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Memory Board - Helpful or frustrating
I moved my mom to an AL after a hospital stay. She has never been open to leaving her house, so I just tell her she's in rehab. The facility has several activities every day and they tell me she participates. When I talk to her, she doesn't remember the activities. She told me this morning she was tired of being stuck in…
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The Alz Connected website is being upgraded
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Music
While waiting in an ER hallway for more than 18 hours I played music on my phone whenever DH was getting a stick or felt anxious. I have about 4 or 5 songs that I play over and over for him. Really helps to calm him down.
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Trying to not fight. Vent
This is long so strap in for my complaining. Apparently the other day my grandmother fell and the word is she's fine just startled and afraid. Which makes sense. My aunt and cousin were trying to get other family members in to sit/watch/reassure gmom for two weeks. For some reason they don't want any lapse in someone there…
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Hospice on board
DH has been in memory care since mid August as I could no longer take care of him after he broke his ankle and also was doubly incontinent. I had been taking care of him for 4 1/2 yrs. with no outside help. Last week he once again was non- responsive and slumped to the side and drooling. They took him to the ER...2nd trip…
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What a day....
My sister stopped by today. I am thoroughly irritated though. She didn't let me know so that right there told me she didn't come with any intention of giving me a break. She stayed for 3 hours. The good news - I have an appointment with an attorney to discuss taking my sister to court for embezzlement and other actions…
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Closer to Stage 7
I'm afraid that hearing about our uncle's death has acted as a catalyst for Peggy's slide. He passed away on the 23rd, and every day since then, including today, Peggy has brought this up. She's a little hazy on whether he's actually dead, ("Uncle N is still dead, right?"), and then right after that, she asks if our aunt…
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Any chance we can take a poll?
So I would like to start by saying that my mother who is 76 has dementia and it is mild right now, but has gotten a little worse this year. My Uncle recently passed away with dementia so it seems I am probably going to have it. The common threads that my uncle, mother, and I have is that (1) we all snore and (2) we all…
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Social Security and Medicare address change when moving an elderly parent to another state
We have just succeeded in moving my elderly parent from the East Coast to the West Coast where I live. She is now living in MC unit of an AL community near me. Now we need to change her address for social security and medicare so she can get services here and her doctors can bill medicare, We could just change the address…
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Confusing my uncle for her husband
Hello, My Grandmother has middle stage. Since she was 35 she lived with her husband, who is now in a nursing home and suffers from late stage dementia. When the family figured out they, my grand parents, could not take care of themselves, we moved her to another state to stay with my uncle, her son. I came to visit for the…
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Tricks for prompting swallowing ?
Hello all, My mom is late stage dementia & Parkinson's. She has documented dysphagia and is on a honey-thick / pureed diet. That has helped a lot, but she still coughs and sputters occasionally -- there are good days and not-so-good days. For the past several months of the pureed diet, no issues with putting food in the…
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urine in sofa
Just a quick survey of which product you have found have worked best for removing urine from sofa cushions that can't be removed. Online sources say that an enzymatic pet stain remover is the way to go. Obviously mom should be more supervised and I will be ordering waterproof pads for the seats that she uses. Thanks!
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How to deal with Manipulative Elderly Family Members
This post is runoff from another post. Mom and her 4 remaining siblings are manipulative and, at least in my mom's case, have an inflated sense of self-importance (narcissistic). The narcissism is the lesser of the two evils and in my mom's case appears to be compensation for physical/mental decline. All roads in a…
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Mom with Dementia...convincing her to move into Assisted Living
Hi, new to the boards, hoping for some guidance Backstory Mom is 80 y.o female with multiple chronic diseases (COPD, Stage 3 kidney disease, Seizures, recurring Stage 1 lung cancer, aphasia/Dementia and Wernicke's due to sustained periods of heavy drinking. She was recently diagnosed with Moderate dementia (13 on MoCa,…
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Difficulty Getting my LO to Eat
Hello, Caregiver Community! This is my first post. My mom, age 72 is in late-moderate stage 4 or 5. My dad is primary caregiver and, after switching careers, I have made more time to give my dad some reprieve. I am writing because my mom is not eating well. She has already reached the point where favorite foods and…
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Life Alert type device recommendation?
Hi everyone, My Mom was diagnosed with Lewy Body Disorder a few months ago. For many years, she has had issues with walking and used a walker. At this point she is doing pretty well, but living completely alone is no longer an option so she will be moving in with me in the next few weeks. I am wondering if I should…
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Can't give up(1)
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 1/9/23
NO MATER WHERE WE ARE, earnest, honest prayer is heard by God. CAREGIVERS, take good care of yourselves. Hugs, Ronnie (VKB) Psalm 100 AMP A Psalm of Thanksgiving. Shout joyfully to the Lord, all the earth. 2 Serve the Lord with gladness and delight; Come before His presence with joyful singing. 3 Know and fully recognize…
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2022 National Strategy to Support Family Caregivers
https://acl.gov/CaregiverStrategy https://acl.gov/sites/default/files/RAISE_SGRG/NatlStrategyToSupportFamilyCaregivers.pdf
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A clock winding down
Last week Tuesday my mother turned 89. Each day she seems a little more weak. She still gets up and dresses herself, eats her toast and drinks her coffee. She appears exhausted from getting dressed. She goes after breakfast and sits in her rocking chair and falls asleep. Sometimes she just sits and stares. On the rare…
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Is there a database of canned answers to LO questions?
Does anyone know of a database/website/article of literal answers to questions that our LOs ask? Sometimes I just can't do the mental/verbal acrobatics to come up with new stuff on the fly and it would nice to just grab a list of canned answers. I'm sure I could search the forums and pull out lines that other people use…
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VENT: Balancing my wants and their needs
Yesterday, I learned, from my mother's caregiver, that my mom fell in her bathroom at home on Thursday. The caregiver states that my mom appears physically okay but that both my parents are rattled. I further learned from the caregiver that my dad is considering placing my mom in a facility out of state. My dad told the…
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A couple of thoughts
On Regret “How to hold regret tenderly: I wish I would have done that differently, and, at the time, I couldn’t” ~ Syanna Wand On Selfishness Not sure how many times I either said to myself or asked myself while caring for mom… am I being selfish?…was that selfish?…I’m just being selfish… I see fellow caregivers here…
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Moved in to MC, showtiming
Hi again to the group. My mom was staying with my sister and me for the few weeks between her Independent Living Apartment (which she was unable to stay in due to continually wandering/getting lost/unable to do many ADLs). During that time, she was really bad, seemed to be always in distress, pacing a ton, moving things…
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Should Distance/Elderly Aunts/Uncle Matter In Decision Making?
I am living a nightmare trying to appease every whim/wish of my 91 yr old mom with dementia (stay in the community, etc.) while listening to her elderly siblings who live afar. The only support I receive is from local resources via state/federal programs. Aunts and Uncle only provide phone support to mom (lip service) and…
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Dealing with angry resistance
First time posting. I am the daughter and POA for my elderly mother. She was diagnosed with mild cognitive decline almost a year ago, but has been displaying more troubling behavior over the past several months. In looking at the stage descriptions, I'd say she has progressed to Stage 4. Mom still lives independently,…
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30 page Alzheimers paper
Somewhere in here, I was reading a 30 page paper on Alzheimers. I found it to be very informative and very interesting. Does anybodyknow what paper i am talking about, and where i can find it.
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Missing Mom and I have Covid
Hi Y'all, My Mom lives about 20 minutes away in a small residential memory foster home. And, I have a bad case of Covid. Of course, I'm staying away and keeping her safe. I'm just really, perhaps jealous, of losing this time with her. She's very late stage, and we have Hospice care involved. They're all wonderful. Just…
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thinks she’s coming home…help
New Year’s Day my mother chewed me out for putting her in Assisted Living. Today, she has been telling her friend/sitter that I talked to the lady that owns the place and told her (the mystery lady)that she was going home in a few weeks. I don’t know if she pieced this together from something I said, or someone else said,…