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Transitioning to Caregiving Daughter
Greetings all. Allow me to introduce myself. Some of you may remember me from the Spouse Forum. I cared for my DH who had EOAD. DH died in April 2022 at the age of only 58. As you might expect, I am heartbroken beyond words. Somedays are harder than others. Somedays I question my sanity. Grief is real and it is a monster.…
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Adding a med - I’m afraid
Hi. Mom is 93 in memory care with dementia and hates it. Mostly because she has never accepted losing her car, her summer cottage, independence, etc……she is agitated a lot, has angry outbursts and wants to leave. She was in AL, but would sit outside weird times thinking someone was coming to pick her up, or try getting…
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It’s not falling out of bed….it’s loss of balance
Hello everyone, I just returned to my bedroom after another episode of finding mom on the floor. When I looked in mom’s bed she had several things from her dresser. The dresser is not near the bed. Obviously, mom gets out of bed and begins to find things to play with from her dresser. At some point she looses her balance…
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A rocking chair? Your thoughts on furniture
Good morning. My mom's antique furniture is not very comfortable or easy to get out of. I'm considering shopping. She's quite petite. I'm considering a recliner and also a rocker. She's mid-stage and not terribly steady on her feet. There's a glider chair she has that seems to like, but it is getting worn out and I don't…
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Complexities of Diabetes w Dementia
90 yo mom with diabetes spanning over years is prescribed (2) meds for high blood pressure, one of which is said to be a high dose. Infrequent fainting which is now frequent (7 mos apart) results in ER/Hospital/Rehab/VN/PT...(3xs since 8/21). Last incident 10/6 insulin was added (33 units daily) with no home health care to…
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Just Starting
My family is just starting down this path. My father has recently started displaying worrying signs of dementia. He has yet to receive any official diagnosis beyond “mild cognitive degradation” however, he’s started some behavior that feels like a diagnosis is likely imminent. For 60 years, he worked as a meat cutter for a…
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New to board just became only child caregiver
My dad is moderate approaching severe Dementia/Alzheimer’s. My sister, who was my only sibling, just passed away suddenly at the end of August. She lived with him her whole life so while I helped with him she was the primary caregiver. My dad I believe also has the condition Anosognosia after reading some posts on this…
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Alzheimer's soap opera
A friend of mine, whose wife also has Alzheimer's, suggested that living with someone who has the disease reminds him of a soap opera. So, what would a soap opera about living with an Alzheimer’s victim be titled? Here are a few ideas: Now What? The Next Stage The Downward Spiral As the Mind Turns Any more suggestions?
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Scared to eat
I tried looking through the search but I kept getting results of caregivers being scared of how their LOs are or aren't eating, instead of the PWD themselves being scared. Last week mom threw up a couple of times, not sure what days but they were all in the evening, between 60 to 180 minutes after eating. Twice were after…
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refuses to get into bed at night
My DW has very recently begun to refuse to get into bed at night. At first it was hesitation/delay. The two previous nights it has been direct refusal and expressed plan to "go downstairs." She says "this is not my bed" and "I do not know who you are." I have given her more time. I have gotten into bed. These tactics have…
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How to get my mom to her doctor appointments
I have posted here before and all the comments I received are so helpful! Update on my mom, she had 3 really great days, and I am forever grateful. The great days mean she was not angry or rage filled and I loved being with her, she was happy and interested in "her world" and the things she loves like playing cards,…
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This is so hard!(1)
Just having a bad day. My mother took a 'turn' a little over a week ago. Hospice thought that she had a week, maybe a week and a half to live. She rallied and is better, still not where she was before the turn. Some days are better than others - none are great! Hospice says that she has nine lives, and they may not be able…
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Why she can’t go home
My Mom told me this the other day: “I feel like I haven’t been home in a year. I just want to go where everything is normal and things make sense.” This is the best definition of HOME I have seen. In fact Mom has been in a SNF for close to a year, but she has wanted to go home for a couple of years now. Home is not back to…
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Another memory care trauma - solved
The latest mystery/trauma that I've been dealing with this week has to do with Peggy's hair and the orange thing that is everywhere and everything. A few weeks ago Peggy thought her hair was blue. Then she thought it was orange. Her hair is, and always has been, blonde. Even today she thought her hair was orange. I didn't…
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Falling out of bed(2)
Hello Everyone, For some time now when Mom lies down at night to go to sleep she is crooked. She never tries to change her position or make a remark when I straighten her. I thought it was odd but never gave it a second thought. Two weeks ago I found Mom on the floor playing with papers (happily) in the morning. EMS was…
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Help maneuvering unwilling dementia patient
My grandmother was diagnosed with dementia two months ago following a hip surgery, the family has been trying for years to get the diagnosis. Since that diagnosis she's undergone two surgeries', three weeks out of a full ankle replacement she cannot be weight bearing, but she also doesn't feel intense pain anymore. Shes…
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feeling so alone
Hi, my name is Kathy and I'm 63 years old. My husband Billy, who is 65, was diagnosed with early age onset AD in January 2022. His symptoms started roughly a year prior (2 years after retirement) but we initially thought that his forgetfulness, misplacement of personal belongings, repeatedly asking the same questions and…
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VA Benefits(2)
I went to my first support group last month and all the women were my age! It was like walking into a book club of friends. I'm going every month. These women are a wealth of knowledge and compassion. I asked many questions of the group and someone mentioned the Veterans Admin and its benefits for Alz veterans. It never…
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Hidden blessings
I’m trying to find hidden caregiver blessings. I am in the process of moving my mom to live in a mixed community specializing in aa/memory care closer to me and miraculously it is going ok (move is next week). Yes the past year has been brutal. I know there will be tough times ahead. But I am finding these little blessings…
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Just another heartbreak and lie
I live in Florida and take care of my Alz. mom. I have for 5 years. I decided to place her in a "Memory Care" facility. I had to make a doctor's appointment for a TB test and to fill out the 1823 form. I have been driving back and forth for paperwork, down payment (it is 45 minutes away) for about 3 weeks. I panicked last…
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Caregiver's Anxiety
It has been almost one year since diagnosis and what a year it has been. I felt good about how things were going until about 3 months ago. Since then I feel like my anxiety is over the top. I am basically the sole caregiver for my LO. One sibling is not involved (so heartbreaking and disappointing) and one lives out of…
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Home care for incontinent spouse with bed sores.
My DH developed nearly complete urinary incontinence this summer. Before then, he'd have accidents, but they were infrequent. He has mobility issues, so I bought him urinals to have beside his chair. And I check with him every couple of hours to see if he needs to go. I don't think that he can tell if he needs to urinate,…
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Tough month
It's been a tough month, although Peggy has remained relatively calm and cheerful in spite of everything. She's now at later stage 6 and it's still the slow progression, no falling off cliffs. Even so, some of the new behaviors are distressing, even if not unexpected. Peggy is starting to have delusions. She saw a man…
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Inexpensive camera to watch LO while I'm at work?
My LO with EO is home alone for 2 days per week. Can anyone recommend an inexpensive camera system that I can set up in the living room and kitchen to monitor her? So far she is very functional and doesn't use more than the toaster but I'd like to be able to check on her once and a while when I'm at work.
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 11/2/22
GOD REJOICES GOD’S THOUGHT: Zephaniah 3:17 “The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” VICTORY THOUGHT: I give God great pleasure and bring Him joy. POWER PRAYER: Lord, forgive me when I…
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Caregivers Know Best?
Took my husband to the clinic today for our scheduled Covid and flu vaccines. Husband has Alzheimer's so moving very slowly. Before I could orient myself to the room and the different stations, anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications have left me with brain fog, one of the nurses started telling me to come over to…
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Well that went well - NOT
I had plans to go away for 2 days and my sister refused to cover for me. Who else did she think could do it? Both my brothers work full time, 1 is an OTR trucker driver. I blew up at her and told her to not bother coming back here anymore since she can't commit to helping. One of my brothers is the financial POA, my sister…
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Wanting control, but unsafe situations
My Mom has 24/7 care in the home by a caregiver thru a home health establishment. My Mom is forgetful, walks with a walker, fragile and physically not stable, How to handle Caregiver says to stay on the couch until caregiver comes back from going to the bathroom. Here she finds our Mom has gotten up and gone to the kitchen…
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A good read...
This past summer my cousin, who is taking care of her 102 yr old Mom, recommended a book to me that I would like to recommend to all of you. It's called 'Winter Stars' by Dave Iverson. Under the title it says..."An elderly mother, an aging son, and life's final journey." I'm half way into the book at this time and can say…
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I've won, but at what cost (semi joke)
So I was right on the donepezil was causing mom chronic diarrhea. Pretty much as soon as she stopped taking it, her bowel movement became regular. But then this past Friday was the last time we saw any bowel movement. Monday I mixed some prune juice with her regular juice and tried to give her more fibrous foods and let…