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Any chance we can take a poll?
So I would like to start by saying that my mother who is 76 has dementia and it is mild right now, but has gotten a little worse this year. My Uncle recently passed away with dementia so it seems I am probably going to have it. The common threads that my uncle, mother, and I have is that (1) we all snore and (2) we all…
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Social Security and Medicare address change when moving an elderly parent to another state
We have just succeeded in moving my elderly parent from the East Coast to the West Coast where I live. She is now living in MC unit of an AL community near me. Now we need to change her address for social security and medicare so she can get services here and her doctors can bill medicare, We could just change the address…
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Confusing my uncle for her husband
Hello, My Grandmother has middle stage. Since she was 35 she lived with her husband, who is now in a nursing home and suffers from late stage dementia. When the family figured out they, my grand parents, could not take care of themselves, we moved her to another state to stay with my uncle, her son. I came to visit for the…
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Tricks for prompting swallowing ?
Hello all, My mom is late stage dementia & Parkinson's. She has documented dysphagia and is on a honey-thick / pureed diet. That has helped a lot, but she still coughs and sputters occasionally -- there are good days and not-so-good days. For the past several months of the pureed diet, no issues with putting food in the…
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urine in sofa
Just a quick survey of which product you have found have worked best for removing urine from sofa cushions that can't be removed. Online sources say that an enzymatic pet stain remover is the way to go. Obviously mom should be more supervised and I will be ordering waterproof pads for the seats that she uses. Thanks!
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How to deal with Manipulative Elderly Family Members
This post is runoff from another post. Mom and her 4 remaining siblings are manipulative and, at least in my mom's case, have an inflated sense of self-importance (narcissistic). The narcissism is the lesser of the two evils and in my mom's case appears to be compensation for physical/mental decline. All roads in a…
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Mom with Dementia...convincing her to move into Assisted Living
Hi, new to the boards, hoping for some guidance Backstory Mom is 80 y.o female with multiple chronic diseases (COPD, Stage 3 kidney disease, Seizures, recurring Stage 1 lung cancer, aphasia/Dementia and Wernicke's due to sustained periods of heavy drinking. She was recently diagnosed with Moderate dementia (13 on MoCa,…
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Difficulty Getting my LO to Eat
Hello, Caregiver Community! This is my first post. My mom, age 72 is in late-moderate stage 4 or 5. My dad is primary caregiver and, after switching careers, I have made more time to give my dad some reprieve. I am writing because my mom is not eating well. She has already reached the point where favorite foods and…
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Life Alert type device recommendation?
Hi everyone, My Mom was diagnosed with Lewy Body Disorder a few months ago. For many years, she has had issues with walking and used a walker. At this point she is doing pretty well, but living completely alone is no longer an option so she will be moving in with me in the next few weeks. I am wondering if I should…
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Can't give up(1)
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 1/9/23
NO MATER WHERE WE ARE, earnest, honest prayer is heard by God. CAREGIVERS, take good care of yourselves. Hugs, Ronnie (VKB) Psalm 100 AMP A Psalm of Thanksgiving. Shout joyfully to the Lord, all the earth. 2 Serve the Lord with gladness and delight; Come before His presence with joyful singing. 3 Know and fully recognize…
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2022 National Strategy to Support Family Caregivers
https://acl.gov/CaregiverStrategy https://acl.gov/sites/default/files/RAISE_SGRG/NatlStrategyToSupportFamilyCaregivers.pdf
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A clock winding down
Last week Tuesday my mother turned 89. Each day she seems a little more weak. She still gets up and dresses herself, eats her toast and drinks her coffee. She appears exhausted from getting dressed. She goes after breakfast and sits in her rocking chair and falls asleep. Sometimes she just sits and stares. On the rare…
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Is there a database of canned answers to LO questions?
Does anyone know of a database/website/article of literal answers to questions that our LOs ask? Sometimes I just can't do the mental/verbal acrobatics to come up with new stuff on the fly and it would nice to just grab a list of canned answers. I'm sure I could search the forums and pull out lines that other people use…
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VENT: Balancing my wants and their needs
Yesterday, I learned, from my mother's caregiver, that my mom fell in her bathroom at home on Thursday. The caregiver states that my mom appears physically okay but that both my parents are rattled. I further learned from the caregiver that my dad is considering placing my mom in a facility out of state. My dad told the…
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A couple of thoughts
On Regret “How to hold regret tenderly: I wish I would have done that differently, and, at the time, I couldn’t” ~ Syanna Wand On Selfishness Not sure how many times I either said to myself or asked myself while caring for mom… am I being selfish?…was that selfish?…I’m just being selfish… I see fellow caregivers here…
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Moved in to MC, showtiming
Hi again to the group. My mom was staying with my sister and me for the few weeks between her Independent Living Apartment (which she was unable to stay in due to continually wandering/getting lost/unable to do many ADLs). During that time, she was really bad, seemed to be always in distress, pacing a ton, moving things…
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Should Distance/Elderly Aunts/Uncle Matter In Decision Making?
I am living a nightmare trying to appease every whim/wish of my 91 yr old mom with dementia (stay in the community, etc.) while listening to her elderly siblings who live afar. The only support I receive is from local resources via state/federal programs. Aunts and Uncle only provide phone support to mom (lip service) and…
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Dealing with angry resistance
First time posting. I am the daughter and POA for my elderly mother. She was diagnosed with mild cognitive decline almost a year ago, but has been displaying more troubling behavior over the past several months. In looking at the stage descriptions, I'd say she has progressed to Stage 4. Mom still lives independently,…
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30 page Alzheimers paper
Somewhere in here, I was reading a 30 page paper on Alzheimers. I found it to be very informative and very interesting. Does anybodyknow what paper i am talking about, and where i can find it.
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Missing Mom and I have Covid
Hi Y'all, My Mom lives about 20 minutes away in a small residential memory foster home. And, I have a bad case of Covid. Of course, I'm staying away and keeping her safe. I'm just really, perhaps jealous, of losing this time with her. She's very late stage, and we have Hospice care involved. They're all wonderful. Just…
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thinks she’s coming home…help
New Year’s Day my mother chewed me out for putting her in Assisted Living. Today, she has been telling her friend/sitter that I talked to the lady that owns the place and told her (the mystery lady)that she was going home in a few weeks. I don’t know if she pieced this together from something I said, or someone else said,…
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Geriatric psych hosp direct to SNF longterm care...
After 15 months of 24/7 care in my home, LO has been in geriatric psychiatric hospital/section for 4 weeks because of altered mental status, via ER. (She suddenly started becoming agitated, beligerent, and exit seeking. Imposter syndrome. Completely separated from reality; not even aware of the type of place she is in --…
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Caregiver journey map
https://www.caregiving.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/Journey-Map_Book_v1.3.pdf
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Caregiver who is without family resources
Is there anyone else out there who is caring for a dear one (husband in my case) who is in a situation without close friends or any family to help. I get so depressed and am concerned about my ability to figure everything out and keep going myself. My husband and I were unable to have children and we are both only…
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Need some advice.
Looking for some advice, my mother has dementia and I have been trying to get her services for the better part of the year. I have done eight fair hearings so fair with professional help unfortunately her total allotted care is maxed out at 22.3 hour for the week. I have been as her condition progresses I can try again to…
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I feel
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For what it is worth...
For the past 2 years of caregiving my LO -- remotely and in my home 24/7 -- I tried to establish a 'signature' for her. By that I mean, something unique to connect us -- something that hopefully would remind her that I was a friendly. A secret handshake, if you will. Signature: My LO takes a drug called Olmesartan, for…
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How to overcome the frustration?
I take care of my mom who is in the middle stage of Alzheimers, she is not violent, on the contrary, she can says THANK YOU for every single thing around 30 times. I get very frustrated when she makes the same comment (about how beautiful is the day, how early or late it is, ask where is my husband when he has been ALL DAY…
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I want to go home(2)
my wife and I are caretakers for my 80 year old brother who I think is in stage 6 alzheimers. One thing he asks me is that he wants to go home. I think that he means the house he built here in the middle of Alaska. He insists that the house we all live in is not his home. Does he really want to go home to where he grew up…