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Too old for this/too young for this
Newly diagnosed spouse of 40 years. He’s in denial, I’m in panic mode and end times mode. And it’s only just started. Twist? He doesn’t want any treatment. Anyone have any experience with no treatment? Or know how it may go?
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Say something/Don't say something?
Background: I went through dementia with my husband so I'm aware of the brain changes that happen. I notice when something is suddenly "off". I have lived with my mom since my husband passed 3 years ago. She loves Christmas so we have done big time decorating for the grandkids. A year and a half ago we did a HUGE project.…
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My parents are stubborn
Hi! This is my first post here. My dad has ALZ. I'm not sure what stage because his neurologist hasn't told us. He's progressing. My mom, my dad's caretaker is really struggling with accepting dad's behavior changes. My dad did a lot, all the driving, yard work, filled the car with gas etc. She's not a confident driver so…
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Just sharing a positive/happy moment
We live in a very rural area, not close to any family, most friends have moved away or passed on. Our awesome next door neighbor just called to see if my husband would like to go watch him at his ju-jitsu class then stop for lunch after. This same neighbor took a day off work a couple of months ago to drive me to a doctor…
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Baby Monitor, LifeAlert type necklace, or other option best for Mom with Alzheimer’s?
Short version of our situation: my sister, brother and I are caregivers for my Mom. She’s 7 years in now (4 years since official diagnosis). We live split across a duplex, and there’s usually at least one of us on call. We had been able to leave her by herself for a couple hours if necessary, but that may be changing. I…
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Questions about memory care
My husband has been in a secure memory care unit for 3 weeks. It's noisy and the shared areas are crowded. About a third of the residents are non-verbal. There are 18 patients with a nurse and two CNA's. After lunch, everyone is told to go to the TV room where they seem to stay until dinner, unless they decide to take a…
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Gulp. So new I hope I’m reading incorrectly
New diagnosis. Hubby. I’m reading posts saying seven years, nine years. Still dealing with new memory failings? Issues. I did just order that book someone suggested. I just don’t think I can handle all this. Is this with treatment that slows progression or without? Go ahead. I’m obviously very naive and have no clue right?…
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The Clock Stopped
In the middle of a concentrated time of reviewing important documents (…and needing a break) I was interrupted with DW coming into the room upset because the clock "stopped again!" and her TV shows were all mixed up "I give up!" she said. I managed to not react and instead said kindly "Can you show me so that I can fix…
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Her Signs In Stage 8
Over the course of the weeks leading up to my dear wife's passing. strange things kept occurring, signs if you believe, that she was providing. There were so many "coincidences" that we began to believe that was something more at play. I am uneasy even writing that here or saying it publicly. But, they continue. Images in…
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Teaching Myself To Breath
As my wonderful DH’s VD and Aphasia progress I am trying to teach my self to sit still and just breath, gently and slowly in and out. This is a challenge and so hard as I have always been movement plus. I am also trying to use all the support that I have access to because as we all know the cavalry won’t come unless you…
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MCI-- treatment with Lecanemab or Donanemab
This is my first post. I am a caregiver for my DW who was recently diagnosed with MCI with an APOE 3/4. We will be having an important discussion soon with a neurologist who is going to present us with the two possible treatment options of either Lecanamab or Donanemab; but we are quite fearful of the possible negative…
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Patience...
…I'm out of it. I’ve heard it said that resilience is a virtue, and in my current position, I really need it to be. For the past three years, my husband has had an official diagnosis of Alzheimer’s, but looking back, I realize the signs were there for years before. I had no idea what I was getting into. Now that we're…
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65 days in memory care
I haven't posted in a while, but I thought I would tell the story of my DH's adjustment to MC and ask you all a question. He had a very rough time for the first three weeks, then slowly began to adjust and to take part in activities which has progressed to him being fairly happy by six weeks or so. One of the reasons he's…
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both parents recently admitted into MC facility and they keep falling constantly
Dear Community, My sister and I recently moved both my parents into the same facility and they share a small apartment. In the past 3 days, they have both fallen a combined 6 times. My father has experienced pain but my mother fractured the same shoulder she fell on a couple of months ago. In the past year, my mother has…
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Trying to keep my sanity
Hi. I'm relatively new here. My DH was diagnosed a year ago with Alz., but I noticed changes about 3 years prior to diagnosis. I'm not totally unfamiliar with Alz. as I was my Mom's advocate in her last few years with it. She has passed, but I thank her for the practice I received ... not that anyone wants practice or any…
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Steady decline …
Things are changing! Noticing a lot of little changes lately … choosing cookies for lunch over a sandwich, having a danish for breakfast instead of a protein, picking through his food taking out pieces of onion or peppers which he used to like, giving him his pj’s to change into and getting into bed with the same clothes…
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Fairly new to this dementia thing...
Just for some background, my DH's geriatrician recently diagnosed him with vascular dementia, based on the fact that he had a stroke 3-1/2 years ago. At the time we were told that the only outcome of the stroke was aphasia (word finding difficulty). Since that time he has become disabled due to a bad fall resulting in a…
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For any CALPERS retirees and caregivers of
We have been married for 37 yrs, my husband has had several strokes and has VD. Luckily his memory is still intact, he is capable of carrying on a conversation, understanding and can make his own decisions, albeit slow with his processing speed. I have always handled finances, bills, investments,etc. I thought I had taken…
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Another Step Down
I can’t rant, my compassion and love for my DH is too deep but I just need to talk to those that understand. I had a friend say to me yesterday if you ever need to rant just call, so kind of her but I don’t need to rant I need to cry sometimes I’m just so sad about this debilitating disease. We have this wonderful…
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Repercussions from shunt surgery.
My husband had a shunt put in for NPH (Normal pressure hydrocephalus) in July. Before that he had early Alzheimer’s dementia. After surgery, its a lot worse. We had to put door handle locks on the doors, shower & bathroom bars in the bathroom. He doesn’t remember anything. He makes things up, hallucinates. He’s losing his…
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Still waffling on MC placement
After touring MC facilities for my plan B, I started thinking that maybe DH would be happier and better cared for if he was there. There are a few reasons for this which I won’t go into but I haven’t made a decision yet. I am not good at being decisive - ironically that was one of the things that attracted me to my DH at…
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We need a Plan B
I lost a favorite neighbor this week. She was caring for a husband with Parkinson's but was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer three months ago. He is now in a nursing home with hospice, and her funeral was yesterday. We may intend to care for our LOs to the end, but God may have other plans. It is important to have a plan…
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Anosognosia—When People Don’t Realize They’re Impaired
https://thedawnmethod.com/anosognosia-when-people-dont-realize-they-are-impaired/ The topic of anosognosia comes up regularly, particularly for people who are new here. It's confusing and confounding when your LO can't see their own impairment. I think this article is a good introduction. I hope it's helpful. People who…
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Do we ever sleep?
Here it is at 4 am. Been up since about 2:30 am, not unusual at all. As I scroll through the threads here, now and then offering my two cents, I noticed the times of postings. Amazing number seem to be posted during the very late hours of the evening or during the overnight hours. Do we, as caregivers, ever sleep? I know…
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Post for Lgb35 on Semantic Dementia
Lgb35 I saw your recent question on how to get info on Semantic Dementia (SD) in another thread but I thought answering there might get lost. "we received confirmation today that DH also has Semantic Dementia. When I asked for resources so we know what’s next and how this form progresses, I was told to look up FTD…
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Guilt and Regret
My wife passed away 8 months ago, and I was taking care of her 24/7. It was getting difficult, sometimes I lost patience and was abusive to her - other than the grief that I'm still going through for someone who I loved so much, how do I handle the guilt and regret that I feel at times? It was getting really tough at the…
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Taking advantage of not remembering
I think others have mentioned this but I take advantage of PWD's inability to remember in order to avoid problems. For example, PWD tries to peel label off of a bottle (salad dressing, or whatever), but fails since it's difficult and can make a mess or spill things in the process by forgetting to cap the bottle. Rather…
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Downsizing with Dementia
It's been three years since the official diagnosis though it was happening way before that. And I realize I haven't looked back. I haven't looked back at how we were before all of this crept in ever so slowly. And I actually forget who he was sometime back in our lives together when I never imagined anything like this. And…
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Geriatric Psychologist
Hi, My mom was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's. She is still in stage 1 and can be independent. Has anyone gone to a geriatric psychologist and did it help?? I appreciate all the help I can get. Thank you!!
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Social Scientists, We Are Here
As I read through the threads on here and, like all of you, find great value and comfort from this forum, I am struck by the discrepancies between our real life and what is described by most (I am sure there are exceptions) articles or studies. As I began our journey, the medical community could offer little, if any,…