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Guilt
My DH is in the Severe part of this awful disease and in MC. He has been refusing his meds at times and is experiencing agitation, anxiety and aggression. I have not been visiting because I know that I am a trigger for his anxiety and want him to remain as calm as he can for his own peace of mind and for the staff that…
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Medicaid planning
Is it still recommended that one should seek out Medicaid planning with elder law? Is funding for Medicaid in jeopardy? Is it risky to plan for Medicaid now?
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Delusions
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Where do we start?
We just received news today that my father who is 74 officially has Alzheimer’s (diagnosed through a blood test) we have been told that he had vascular dementia for a few years now, but mom and I are not completely surprised with this news, seeing as we have noticed the huge change and decline. Where do we even begin? He…
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Adjustable Bed?
DH will (hopefully) be coming home from rehab in the next few weeks. He’s recovering from a fractured tibia. PT is rough because he can’t follow direction well and doesn’t remember what they’re asking him to do. He is in distress every day here, and his anxiety and (growing) agitation is through the roof. But he is very…
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Bed bound & aggressive -looking for advice
I'm new here and looking for advice. A little background -I help care for my 84 year old father. He has late stage Alzheimer's, bed bound and completely dependent for care. Communication is difficult as his eyesight and hearing are poor and his ability to speak coherently is mostly gone. We are having a terrible time with…
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Repetition
Hello All, I am a 68yr old women caring for my 94 yr old mom diagnosed with middle stage dementia . My dad was a saint caring for her for at least 5 years until he passed 3 years ago. We are a family of six and are all present to help care for mom we are very fortunate in that way. She lives at home but is never alone we…
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Showering
My mom has Alzheimer’s and is not wanting to eat very much and does not want to shower or clean herself anymore. She gets very angry when we even mention getting in the shower. I posted here before and have tried everything I can , no luck. IT has been almost 4 weeks since her last shower. I put a chair in the shower and…
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Illness
Made last minute arrangements to watch my grandkids. DH was napping when they arrived and when he woke up, came downstairs, he was coughing a lot! Convinced him to go back upstairs so as not to get the kids sick. It was an issue all afternoon- and I understand that but after they left he insisted on staying with me as I…
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Thank goodness for the waterproof mattress protector
DH had a urinary accident in the bed last night. His disposable briefs could not handle all the fluid. DH's jammies were soaked. The fitted sheet, flat sheet, regular mattress pad and water proof crib pad were soaked. THANKS GOODNESS for the waterproof mattress protector. We use the 6 sided model with the zipper. It saved…
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I'm ashamed of myself.
I'm ashamed of myself. This morning I wasn't the kind understanding person I strive to be with my DW. Let me explain. I'm 82 years old and have had large dogs all my life. About 2-1/2 years ago we rescued an 16 month old (80 pound) boxer mix. She is a great dog, maybe the sweetest dog I've ever had with people; however,…
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First post
My wife age 66 has Alzheimer’s. As you have to make decisions such as taking her car away… she is very upset and doesn’t understand why.. what is best way to explain why since she still thinks nothing is wrong with her
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PWD Reading with a Tremor
Wondering if anyone has found a device of some sort that I can place a newspaper or magazine on so my DW can try to read. Her family has a genetic essential tremor and the dementia has made it worse from her. She's always liked reading magazines and the newpaper, but her hands shake too much now for her to hold it. If I…
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Overwhelmed was a while ago…
I’m new here. Thank you for being here! My sister and I take care of my mom at home. Who can tell what stage? She was diagnosed about 4 years ago. Dementia, Hydrocephalus, diabetic. My mom is not mobile, she cannot feed herself, she has someone with her 24/7. It’s the hardest thing ever but I don’t want to be anywhere…
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Mom needs help
My Dad, with VD, has been in AL under hospice for 4.5 months already. My mom has AD and has admitted that she has difficulty paying bills and gets frustrated when she doesn't understand things. As POA, I can take over the finances and any legal matters. I thought Mom was still competent handling finances but now she wants…
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Choosing a MC
I put my DH in a MC in August of 2024. Once he was there he began to progress rapidly. Today he is mostly agitated and aggressive - they continue to try to find meds to help him. When I chose the MC he was in I really did not do my due diligence. I opted for the one he is in because it was close and the staff seemed to be…
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Update on bringing him home
I brought my DH home from MC a month ago, after he had been there for a year. So far it is going reasonably well. It's tiring and stressful, of course, but nowhere near as bad as it was a year ago. Between new meds and, probably, the progression of the disease, he is calmer and easier to redirect. He's usually sweet and…
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Distract/Defuse
Really in the weeds today. DW in an obsessive loop of anger about her iPad not working properly. Often happens because she gets lost in some obscure site. The tablet often keeps her occupied and happy, but it’s also a curse! Someone helped me with those “Absolutes” , but I’m really at a loss many times on how to get out of…
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Hallucinating
HI - I am new to this. My husband has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Yesterday he told me he saw a man outside our house and wanted to know who and why. In the back of his mind, he thinks I am seeing someone, which I would never do. I am with him almost 24/7 accept when I go to the market or run errands. When I do go, he…
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67 and diagnosed with ALZ 2 years ago
Would like to find others to converse with in the Del Mar area. I retired 2 years ago due to ALZ. Finding it lonely since husband works and I no longer drive. Either in person or online. Thank you.
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Act Normally as if Nothing is Wrong
My wife is a solid ALZ Stage 5. She can no longer cook, drive, use her computer, use a phone, repeats the same questions again and again, and many other things. She is totally dependent on me and she wants me to be with her 24/7. I can't leave her alone. However, through it all I have treated her as if nothing is wrong and…
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Foot amputation
My 71 yo DH is stage 6 and has lived in MC since Sept. 2024. In November, a podiatrist clipped his toenails. A few days later his big toe developed gangrene. I took him to the hospital's wound care center and they tried to clear up the gangrene with Santyl, but it didn't work. The gangrene spread down the toe. A Doppler…
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Bizarre medical episode
I wanted to post what happened to see if anyone else has a LO with AD who experienced this odd condition. My mother has AD. She lives in MC. The staff discovered Mom sitting and murmuring gibberish Monday after breakfast. Her BP and oxygen levels were both extremely low. They called the paramedics and Mom started…
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Teeth pulling
My mother has alzheimer's I say mid stage, but her Dr has never stated what stage. Anyway, she has been telling me for a few weeks that I took her to a dentist that ground all her teeth down to nothing and now every time she runs her tongue around in her mouth all she feels are broken teeth. Well since I know this never…
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VA - Veteran benefits
Just wanted to give an update on possible Veterans Benefits. Service connected disability: File for it if the Veteran meets the qualifications. There is a list of diseases that are presumptive for Agent Orange. Parkinson's is on the list and I believe Alzheimer's & Dementia should be. I would file for Social Security…
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I feel as if I’m suffocating…
This is my first time writing on any discussion boards. When my dad was first diagnosed with a brain tumour leaving (FTD) in 2018 it left just short term memory loss. Since in he was 59 and still active and working at the time. The main focus was doing all the mri making sure the tumour didn’t come back . We didn’t really…
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Easy to use TV for alzheimer's patients?
My mom struggles with using the TV remote to watch TV. We currently use basic cable but she cannot remember which buttons navigate what. I've talked with the provider and we have the simplest package they provide. I can do a streaming service for her it it contains several channels she like to watch and is very easy to…
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Shoulder replacement or not?
Hi guys, my first post. My MIL (82, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, Cancer survivor) needs a shoulder replacement surgery due to arthritis caused by a rotator cuff tear. The surgeon said to get any invasive procedures done before two weeks before the date, so I took her to the dentist to have her teeth cleaned. It was a…
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Always feeling guilty and I feel guilty about that too!
This disease is so terrible and leaves you feeling guilty no matter your best efforts. Mom is in AL and my brother and I each visit a few times a week. It breaks my heart that she is always in tears and saying “i just want you to stop moving me”. We never argue but try to say we are working on it or simply I am sorry. I am…
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Gene Hackman's death
This is a sobering story for caregivers. We have to think about what would happen if something terrible happened to us, who would care for our loved one with dementia? Do you have anyone who checks on you regularly? I heard of one case in which the wife caregiver had a serious fall and broke something. She couldn't get to…