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The hurt from letting go
My DW is in the middle stage of memory loss. When she was lucid, she said she felt I didn’t love her anymore. I have to admit that my feelings are changing. Her behavior can exhaust me, and I realize that I communicate less simply in order to reduce my stress. It is a lousy spot to be in for both of us, but I don’t see any…
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A Wife and A Partner
Not sure why I'm posting this……I'm not looking for validation and certainly don't need judgment. I guess just sharing my experience. My wife was diagnosed with early on-set Alzheimer's over 7 years ago. She is currently non-verbal, fully incontinent, and unable to do anything for herself. I am blessed that she is still…
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How do you know when it's time for hospice?
Several people here have shared their experiences with hospice. I'm not familiar with it at all, so any advice/explanation would help. My DH is showing more physical signs of decline: losing weight even though he still eats well (160 lbs from 196), is starting to stumble, and becoming incontinent. I know some of that is…
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UTI, Pneumonia, Sepsis and Hospital = Sharp Mental Decline
I have read here many times about how UTI's and hospital admittance escalates dementia and now I am experiencing it. My DH is in stage 5 of Vascular dementia. He was admitted in hospital Sunday evening with UTI, pneumonia and sepsis. He is 83 years old. Fortunately, we came home yesterday afternoon as he responded very…
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My First Community Post
In the words of the poet, "please allow me to introduce myself," although when it comes to "wealth and taste," I'm lacking on both counts. LOL. I was born and raised in the Chicago area, not far from Midway Airport, with spina bifida and hydrocephalus, which caused me to spend a lot of time with doctors. It has been…
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Planning first visit to memory care
I'm planning my first visit to see my parent in memory care. I'm out of state so it's a big endeavor. I'm traveling by myself without my family. Besides visiting with my mom, The purpose of the trip is to check out the memory care facility, meet the staff and then check out the surrounding area to plan excursions with a…
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Providing Support for my Family
Hi, I am looking for some advice. For some background, my mom (58) was recently diagnosed with EOA. She no longer works and is home during the day with my brother (28 with down syndrome). My dad lives with them, but works full time. I (25) live nearby with my fiancé and I also work full time. My mom is obviously going…
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How often do you visit your LO in Memory Care?
I am sure there is no routine or common visiting schedule. Someone recently asked me how often I visit my mom, and I told them about once a week. In reality, it is less than that. I guess I thought if I told them the honest truth, I would sound like a horrible person. Truth be told, I could visit my mom every single day…
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how to pay for long term care/MC
Hello, My father has unspecified dementia-has never been officially diagnosed. Like others, he refused to go to an MD in fear of being "locked up" in a nursing home. Now he's in the hospital- which brings up future plans of LTC or MC when the time comes. However, my mother has no Medicaid, no long term care insurance, and…
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My first post - coping as a young person in a family with a history of alzheimers
Hello, I am a 24 year old woman who helps to care for my grandmother who has alzheimers. I live about 3 hours from her, my mom and grandpa are her primary care givers. I make trips to visit about once a month. I have joined this forum in hopes of finding folks to talk to about my experience as a young person who has…
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The Constant Digs
just a vent. I could really use a day where I don’t get to hear from my DW how I just don’t quite treat her right and I don’t do enough for her. I am gentle, supportive and kind to her and I get back complaints about how something’s just not right with me. Oh honey…it’s not me. Grrrrr
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How do I get my smelly DH to put on clean clothes?
My DH had mixed dementia, both vascular dementia and Alzheimer's. I gave up on trying to get him to bath. it has been at least a year since he showered or washed up. He used to change his clothing every few days but now he refuses. I have tried everything I can think of. He sleeps in his clothes including his socks.…
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Visiting new Dr with Mom
we are going to our first Neurologist appointment with Mom and I wanted to get thoughts on how this could go. I feel like there is a lot we need to communicate to Dr so she has the full picture but I am sure Mom will not communicate. Do they typically meet with patient and then caretaker after as well? We have medical poa.…
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Frustrated That My Mom Won't Acknowledge Health Problems
I've been my mom's caregiver from 2013 (age 22) to now (age 34) . Right now, she has multiple health conditions colliding with each other: early dementia symptoms (currently trying to get a formal diagnosis), depression, dehydration, kidney problems. The depression isn't new to me or my siblings, but the other health…
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Lumbar puncture?
I have read multiple posts in which loved ones mention their PWD getting a lumbar puncture as a diagnostic procedure for Alzheimer's. My question is this? Isn't that terribly painful and is it worth putting my LO through for a definitive diagnosis?
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She’s forgetting me.😢
My mom lives in Delaware. Near my sister and her extended family. I live in Georgia. We lost our oldest sister 2 yrs ago and an older brother 7 yrs ago. That leaves the two of us. I’m 62. My sister is 66. The other day my mom told her Dr that she had 4 children but only has one surviving child. (my sister) My sister…
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Need some input
I have a situation that I need input on. I’m in the hospital recovering from cancer surgery on my liver and my wife’s daughter came to take my role until I can get home. I’ve been struggling with the decision to get out of here as soon as possible or wait until I’m fully recovered. All the advice I’ve got says stay here as…
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personal strength trainer?
Hello. I'm new to this group. My wife is 66 and is still in the early stages of her Alzheimer's. Does anyone know of a personal strength trainer or a gym that specializes in weight training for Alzheimer's patients? We live in Lowell, MA. Thanks.
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Strange eating habits
My husband has got to where if he starts snacking on something he will eat until it is all gone. For instance, I bought about 2 lbs of grapes this morning. Husband ate all of them within 2 hours. And I noticed other day, we had a 3 lb bag tangerines. He ate half of them in one day. I finally hid them from him. Is this just…
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Wants to "go home"
This is my first post. Husband was diagnosed with Alz/dementia a year ago, but in retrospect I know it began several years ago. Every day he says he wants to go home, even though he is home. When I tell him we are home, he gets upset and says "it's not my home." I don't know what to say or do. Any ideas would be…
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Terrified
Hello everyone, I'm new to the group. I've read your stories and am relieved to know I'm not alone in my feelings. So, here's my story… I was officially diagnosed last year at age 54. Hearing the words early onset Alzheimer's shook me to my core! My mom had dementia so I knew/know all too well what may come. Have you ever…
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Problem when we walk or bike
I feel like I’m being really whiny lately (and maybe “wine-y also 😉) but I have another question to pose to this group of creative thinkers. This has happened a few times now and I am not handling it correctly. We’ll be walking or biking and he wants to go a certain way. Ok, we go that way. But as we get farther away from…
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But what if it's something that could be treated?
My mother has always been afraid of ALZ because as her own mother aged, as soon as she became moody and forgetful, her sisters insisted this was ALZ and sent her to live in a gross, smelly facility (my mother's words, but not untrue). Now as she is in her mid-80s, my mother is showing signs of memory loss and potentially…
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Waiting
Hi friends. My bf (45yo eoa) had his neurologist video visit this last week. I also had the conversation of MC admittance via hospice to a facility with his pcp. Pcp said he put the referral in and should have heard by end of last week beginning of this week. His neurologist said he is in stage 7b. My heart aches. I know…
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I'm sorry for the download. I thought I was typing in another place... sorry. If I don't belong here
→ Shaun has joined S Shaun 16:46:51 first time here But I need help S Shaun 16:48:27 My step-father has dementia, Alzheimer's. S Shaun 16:49:58 we have him in a memory care unit nearby but its REALLY complicated. Not him being there. It's the urge to get him out S Shaun 16:52:29 ok going to stop with trying to make this…
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New To Forum. Mom has UTI that has progressed dementia symptoms
Hi all. I'm 34 & I've been my mom's primary caregiver since I was 22. For the past decade, she's had some memory problems (misplacing things, forgetting what day it is, forgetting how to navigate some driving routes, forgetting there's a boiling pan on the stove). Yet this was always managable with my help until recently.…
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funny
DH has started Kisunla. I told him we were going to leave soon for his infusion. He asked why we were going as he had enough confusion and didn’t need more.
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For profit memory care
Virtually all the MC facilities in Tucson are run by big nationwide (for the most part) companies. All of them no doubt are responsible for generating income for their investors, who expect returns of 8-10%, All of them have issues related to the need to cut costs so investors may profit. Today I heard of a local entity…
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Caregiver
I started caring for my ex-husband who was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s last August. We have been friends since we got divorced over 30 years ago. I sold my condo that I lived in for 23 years and sold his home and we have a mutual home now. I knew that this was not going to be easy, but I really didn’t know how difficult it…
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The weight of the world on my shoulders
Hi - I'm new to this forum. Warning - this is going to be a lengthy post as I just need to let some of this out** Thank you for being kind. I finally sat down and joined because I am at a breaking point with being a caregiver to my mother, a mother of two teen girls, a wife and the primary (and only) income earner in my…