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Is it time?
DH almost set the house on fire today by putting hot coals from the wood stove into a cardboard box & leaving it out on the deck. It must have been smoldering all day. We (adult kids & I) discovered this just a few minutes ago.
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How to deal with denial
My DH is probably in stage 5 or 6 Alzheimer's. Ever since the diagnosis was made (about 4 years ago) he has adamantly denied that there is anything wrong with him. He now freely admits that his memory is not good, but if I say or do anything that makes him aware that I am "caregiving" he says that I am treating him as if…
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POLST Form - Physician Orders for Life-Sustaining Treatment Form - overwhelming
My LO is very, very elderly. She was recently hospitalized and had surgery. We had to make a lot of decisions fast and under pressure in the ER. But luckily it all went as well as could be hoped. She is definitely more fragile than she was before the whole thing but she is doing well. Her physician's practice is all…
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Asking Permissions
My MIL is starting to ask me permission in her own home, can I have coffee? Can I close the curtains, can I do this etc? Is this a stage? Am I doing to much?
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Life is getting harder...
Life is getting harder and DH isn't as far along as many of yours. I should have known better but we went to Costco together today. DH uses a scooter cart and follows me. Today was just so much harder. He had to use the restroom and barely made it through checkout but he made it. I took groceries to the car and then picked…
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From the NYT: A Different Type of Dementia Is Changing What’s Known About Cognitive Decline
https://www.nytimes.com/2025/11/28/health/late-dementia-alzheimers.html?unlocked_article_code=1.5E8.jeiC.EuBZiHfxb5a8&smid=url-share An article about LATE, a recently recognized form of dementia.
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Scientists catching up to the value of rosemary
I first began using rosemary essential oil with my mother in 2007 (she passed away from a heart attack in 2012). She became more alert, could recognize objects, could remember her name again, became somewhat more lucid, had a little bit of short-term memory, and was calmer. I have been advocating for the use of essential…
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Looking for Resources in Maryland
Hi there! I am seeking guidance to assit my MOL with my FOL's dementia diagnosis. He is going to adult day care three day per week, but still car tasks at home are getting overly challenging. Here are some of the main issues we are working with: -sundowning (lots of frustration throughout the day) -insomonia -inability to…
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Mother living with me has Dementia
Hello Everyone, I recently had my mom come live with me, her choice. She was living by herself up until last Oct. Fell Broke her hip, end up in rehab for 2 months for thearpy. When she was in there my brother sought out Gaurdianship over her. Needless to say when she found out she was mad. She wanted to go back home, but…
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My mother won't see a doctor and she is not okay
My mom has always been incredibly independent and strong. She is 82 now and the last couple years she has steadily declined and has every last symptom of dementia or Alzheimer's. I live 4 hours away and my sister is close to her and keeps me updated ( I'm in the process of trying to move closer). Mom refuses to see a…
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Best friend
I understand what you’re going 33-year-old I am 52 and 1/2 to 3 hours away. My mom and I all the time on the phone and for like the last two years my husband and I have decline in conversation then she fell and was in the hospital and I went up to visit her and stayed at her house and saw the disarray of the house and that…
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Need help with confirming stages
Good Evening, I just went to my MIL's doctor who confirmed her for moderate onset Alzheimers with agitation. But when I questioned him about what stage shes at he just kind of shrugged his shoulders. How can I find out what stage she is in? Do we need to go to a neurologist to confirm this? This just started last month so…
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Unprepared
With every decline, I feel so unprepared. I know what is coming, and yet each decline surprises me and breaks my heart. DH was accepted for hospice at home in September. I didn’t think he would qualify because he was still speaking and eating, not losing weight, able to swallow. But he was non-ambulatory. Yesterday he was…
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Worn out and stressed out
Hello all. I’m currently dealing with an 87 year old father with dementia. He has fallen at home about 15 times this year, and ended up breaking his hip in July. I moved him into assisted living as I didn’t feel he was safe to be alone at home. He was a smoker and the last time I was there I watched him not pay attention…
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Hi! I'm new here... I'm a granddaughter taking care of a grandfather with LBD
Hi. I'm new here. I'm a granddaughter caring for a grandfather with lewy body dementia. I talked to a lady at AA WNY chapter and she suggested I try some support groups. A little back story about my journey so far... My grandfather is 94 and over the last 2 years has started having symptoms of LBD. He accuses almost…
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My DH passed away this morning...
After 8 long days of watching and waiting, my DH passed away this morning. I am so thankful that his suffering is over, but I can't imagine life without him. I was there when he passed, and it means a lot to me to know that he wasn't alone. I will pray for him and for all of you who are navigating this terrible disease.…
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Is There An Organization That Rates Home Care Agencies
Hello. I am starting to consider my home care options. My husband was diagnosed with early stage Alzheimers last month. Like many people, I want to be able to keep him home for as long as possible but I also know that I will be needing help sometime in the future. I was at an Alzheimer's Support Group recently and another…
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Forward Planning
My wife is in her 8th year of diagnosis and lately has been slipping more and more. At some point, she will need more care than I can give, first in-home and then who knows? I will need to sell our house, which also involves getting rid of both valuable and kitschy possessions gathered over the last half century. How have…
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Being "failure free" when PWD wants to do hard things
I understand the idea of failure free activities and that there are books on it. My question is: If the PWD insists on doing something that is bound to fail (let's say trying to scratch off stains off a dirty napkin or a couch cushion), all I can try is to distract with something else. But PWD wants to be left alone to do…
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Affording help or MC
I have always thought I could never afford to pay out of pocket for in home help or even have memory care as an option. We are not wealthy but we have too much to qualify for Medicaid but not enough to pay out of pocket. It is extremely important to talk to an elder care attorney early on in the process. Many people…
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I hate myself for getting rid of Dad's phone
I am devastated. I had to disconnect my dad's phone tonight. He just called 911 too many times. I hate this. I feel like I am cutting him off.
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Counseling for Mom
Hello all, I am trying to find Counseling for my mom who is now caring for my dad who has Alz. They are both in assisted living because she would not send him without her. She is depressed and would like to see a Counselor. I am having a hard time finding a Counselor that specializes in Aging/Caregiver support that I may…
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Out of state “friends” hardly there and know everything
I am so exhausted as most here are. I need a moment to vent some frustrations. Why is it family and friends from out of state feel the need to input opinions after little to no contact except maybe a 15 minute phone conversation every 4-6 months. One has little to no knowledge of disease progression let alone what has…
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GriefShare
Looking in my area for support resources and little if any available but I did see where GriefShare holds an introductory one day session for those who have lost a spouse. I attended yesterday and it was interesting in hearing several stories from others about their loss. However, their 13 week workshop seems to be open to…
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Need Help w/ Cell Phone Options
My father has dementia and one area where my mom and I are struggling is with his using his cell phone. He likes to play solitaire on the phone but he doesn’t understand that the ads he receives aren’t real messages. He ends up filling out his information and is inundated with spam text messages and phone calls. I try to…
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A discreet wandering safety idea: AirTag insoles (easy to check location if someone gets lost)
Hi everyone, I’m in this community as a fellow caregiver / supporter, and I wanted to share something I recently came across that could help with wandering risk. The Alzheimer’s Association notes that 6 in 10 people living with dementia will wander at least once (often more than once). I have attached the link to the…
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Television that can be turned off automatically? (or remotely?)
Hey, my apologies if this has already been addressed or answered. My mom is in a MC unit & has the habit of watching TV all night long, then not sleeping at normal hours. I discussed this with the staff & I gave them permission to take the power cord from the TV around 11PM and return it the next morning to help Mom stay…
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93 yo Mom that has Late Stage Dementia ALZ I am at Caregiver Burnout Stage
I have a 93 year to be Mom that is in the middle late stages of ALZ Dementia I have two businesses that I cannot run and must fulfill my broadcast schedule on the road broadcasting high school games. I have no to little help and neighbors and friends ask but advise or critique me on how to care for my mom but not lending a…
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Losing Weight, Looking for Advice
Hi there - New Here This is my first post so forgive me if there are any formatting errors and length. I am one of the caregivers for my great aunt, late 70s, who I believe has end middle to late stage. We placed her in MC back in August because she lived alone and it was just becoming too much for her. Since entering the…
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Incontinence
My dad has become completely incontinent as far as urinating. He soaks the bed he sleeps in with my mom and she is completely fed up...she and the assisted living staff have to change the bedding every day. He soaks all the blankets and now we need to replace the mattress (although we have a mattress protector on the…