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The time has come-transitioning mom from AL to MC
I'm at a loss with my emotions and smarts. My mom's AL nurse called today to let me know that they ran a few tests and screenings, and my mom scored low across the board. The staff has been monitoring her and is seeing a noticeable decline with her memory, increased confusion, and also depression (mostly loneliness and…
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Adult Day Care
I live in Cabarrus county, North Carolina and am considering enrolling may DW into an adult day care program I was wondering if anybody has any experience/recommendations on adult day care facilities in the Cabarrus county area. Thanks
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Need to get grab bars and hand rails installed
DH's mobility is declining. He uses his walker when we leave the house but doesn't use it at home. We have a step from our house going into the garage and also one going out the front door. A handrail and a grab bar would help him navigate these steps. I know they have to be anchored into studs. I'm thinking of calling a…
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Word of caution. Seeming to be normal is not being normal.
I got an abrupt wake up yesterday. We had a minor problem with filing our income taxes and I asked my DH with AL, Stage 3, where did he put the copies of the papers we sent to our accountant. When I finally found them, some were missing. He has seemed so normal (other than word and memory loss) for a number of months that…
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We are all walking somebody home
My niece arranged for the Threshold Choir to come sing for my DH yesterday. It was a beautiful experience. Four people came and arranged themselves in a fashion so my DH was the audience. They sang four or five songs and left quietly. The last song was, We Are All Walking Somebody Home. That hit me like a ton of bricks and…
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Devices or To ablet Apps with Pictures
Hi Folks, My 70 yr old DW cannot put names to items she wants or things she wants to do? Can anyone recommend a book, device or application for a tablet or cell phone that she can point to? Bill
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NHTD waiver for my Mom living with me Stage 6 Alzheimer’s
hi everyone, I’m pretty new on this forum especially posting a discussion so I’m not really sure if I’m doing this correctly. I live in upstate New York and I am my mom’s soul care provider. I moved my mother into my home eight months ago and I’m still trying to tap into NHTD waiver services in our area. Is there anyone…
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Should possible sudden delirium(?) change our plans?
Hi. Does anyone have experience with delirium or psychosis that came and went after a major life disruption? We are feeling desperate right now! It is regarding my husband’s parents (Sally 84, Fino 93). Background: They have refused to move to an AL over the years, and with some outside assistance, have managed to stay in…
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Medication Inquiry
MY DW neurologist prescribed Memantine medication to slow dementia progression. I am asking our community what side effects they have experienced and have there been positive results of using this medication?
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What to do with all the empty space when their journey ends?
I know this question has been posted before. However, when your loved one's journey has ended, what do you then do with all the spare time and energy you gave to them? My mother is in hospice now. I talked with hospice and arranged for a priest to visit her. It was not planned, but as I was entering my mother's MC…
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What to say
first, thx to all for your help and experience. My spouse is totally isolating, won’t go out and wants no visitors. I think I need to get out more, volunteering, church, etc. but what do I tell to so many people who want to see her, go to dinner, come over to watch TV? “She’s not feeling well” or “doesn’t want to leave the…
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"Survivor's" Guilt
I find that in addition to feeling guilty for the pain I am causing my mom by taking away her independence, I feel a form of "survivor's" guilt, in that it is very hard for me to allow myself to enjoy basically ANYTHING. I feel guilty feeling happy when I know she is struggling with so much (grief at the loss of her…
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Husband won't or can't ask for help.
I'm new to the group. Husband recenyly diagnosed with Vascular Dementia. I get anxiety & frustrated when my spouse is wet / lays on urine soaked bedpad & won't tell me. I'm completely new to this diagnosis. Suggestions/ recommendations welcomed.
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My father is convinced my mom is cheating (?)
Hello I am new to the group, and an unsure how to handle this issue. My father was diagnosed over a year ago, and IDK how to label his current progression. He is isolating, and unsteady of feet, has some issues with incontinence. Has difficulty following a movie or tv program. But he is still aware of who family are. He…
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Wit’s end
My widowed mom lives alone and is extremely stubborn and resistant to help. I’m an only child, and like many here, I’m also a working professional and a mom of teenagers. My mom’s memory and behaviors are steadily getting worse, and she also has anxiety. She’s manipulative and often passive aggressive with me, and she’s a…
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Obsession, Agitation, Anger
I need help and suggestions on what to do with my sister. I live with her and her husband. She is constantly getting angry over beliefs she has of her past that are not true! She's obsessed with a life that she believes was taken from her without any input from her. Not true. We can't correct her to guide her to the truth.…
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Going to sleep at night
DH with AL, Stage 3 or so, has trouble falling asleep at night. He does not take naps. Our Primary doc prescribed Rexulti, but that is going to run us nearly $200/month. Is it worth it and is there an alternative sleep aid that is okay for AL?
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New to all of this and question about surgery
Hi, I am new to this. My 72 yo DH was diagnosed with mild Alzheimer’s, moderate vascular dementia and frontal lobe atrophy. It took 16 months to see a neurologist. In 2004, he had stage 4 lung cancer and 2005 they removed a brain tumor and he had whole brain radiation. He did fine until about 5 years ago and he began to…
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Sparring with Cousin
My dad is dying after a 2 year cancer battle. Mom has always had anxiety and some depression though masked both well. She is admitting herself for quite a while that she cannot do things. Cooking was classically the first. Decision making is not good and while ultimately my dad wasn't going to get cured, her cognitive…
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Juggling changes (driving, moving) with grief
My 84-year-old Mom lost her husband of 60 years — my dad — just 2.5 months ago. She is really grieving hard. So we are hesitant to add more unwanted changes to her life just yet. The problem is, we believe she is around Stage 3 or 4…. (Doctor just did MMES and she scored 24 out of 30, which was just below normal but we…
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Hyper Focus Help
I have been looking after my 89 Y.O. Mother trying to keep her in her home and have been quite successful for the last 6 years. However, this last year she has been turning against the caregivers that we have gotten to help me with looking after her. I have noticed that there are 2 Moms that I am dealing with - one being…
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How to Discuss Mental State
Hello. My mom moved in with me in October because she knew she could no longer live alone. I realized when she moved in that her memory loss and confusion had progressed much further than I thought. Recently, she has gotten into arguments with medical personnel and others when she is confused and doesn't understand what…
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Help me, I really messed up
Ever since my mother's stupid eye doctor told her she was okay to drive, she has been RELENTLESS. She won't drive unless I give her my blessing (thankfully), but it is so bad. In our daily phone call today, she yelled and swore at me the whole time, wanted to know why I insisted on treating her like a baby, why I don't…
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Newbie ES
Background and introduction. I am a retired environmental chemistry professor who has experienced memory changes for the past couple years. This included headaches, dizziness and an inability to focus. It took 5 months to get an appointment with a neurologist. I finally got in in March 2025. (The waiting room was empty!)…
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My 1st Appt w/ Barrows Neurological
So I went to my first Barrows Neurological appointment I think maybe last week or so. It went very rell. The neru I was assigned to was very thorough, companionate and a go getter. He, and two Neuros in traing spend over an hour with me asking me about 1001 questions most of which I had never been asked. All and all a VERY…
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Need Advice How To Overcome Emotions Putting Your Spouse In MC Home
Unfortunately, time has come for me to make a decision on putting my lovely wife of 55 years into MC. I just don’t know how I am going to handle this. Just the thought of it makes me cry especially when I put her to bed or when I am alone. Just feel so guilty. I can’t imagine being alone at home without her…. breaks my…
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MC to Nursing Home
my DH has been in MC for 5 months. He has declined substantially. He now can’t name objects, unsteady in feet, sometimes incontinent/BM so in depends, can’t understand to put medication in mouth, resistant to bathing/shaving/depends change. He wonders in and out of residents rooms as he can’t find his. I was just told he…
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Guilt
DH has been having episodes of aggression. Not really physical more like everything just aggravates him or makes him mad. We went to see his Nero yesterday and I was telling her about it. She increased his seraquel to 50 mg 2x a day. I don't know if I want to do this. Im afraid it's for me because I'm tired of walking on…
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FYI
For those of you who have adult children who are struggling with their parents dementia. Great place also if you are a husband or partner to your LO who has EOAD.
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CPAP advice
Our 82-year-old LO used a CPAP for years but as rapid onset dementia developed he stopped. He still seems able to sleep OK and the MC people say residents generally don’t have them (unless they know how to use them). Is that just the way it is?