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Alcohol and guns
Hi, I am new to this community and have been desperately trying to find a support system while caring for my partner. we were both widowed 16 years ago when we met. Timing was perfect and we have enjoyed many years of companionship. 3 years ago I notices he could not retain complicated problems. In August he was diagnosed…
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New to the group. Need a listener pls
Hi. My dad has dementia and in MC in a dif state. I’m his guardian and take care of things for him but haven’t talked to him in few months as I suffer from ptsd and he’s my trigger. He mailed me a letter of sorts - various scraps of paper, misspellings and incoherent sentences. I can’t stop crying. It’s so hard to see his…
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Initial transition from home to care facility
I’ve been told to expect an immediate health decline when my parent is placed in a care facility. My M is extremely anti-social and my biggest concern is her thriving in this environment. Can anyone share their experiences in detail?
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Huge fiblet: spouse is "dead." Is it justified?
I've been living with/caring for Mom, in MS ALZ, for 5 weeks since Dad (also ALZ) fell and broke his hip: always our worst case scenario. Finally have her paperwork almost done for admission to a MC near me (700 miles from their home, which has made this all so hard). The plan is to take her on a plane for a "short visit"…
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What happens if you can't afford AL anymore?
My Mom is so worried that she cannot afford to keep my Dad in AL. What happens to people who cannot afford to place their LO in facilities but can't take care of them themselves? Is going on Medicaid the only option? What if they don't qualify for Medicaid?
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Paperwork
I finally got the paperwork done for durable POA and Guardianship over my 45yo EOA boyfriend. I have been taking care of him for the last year and a half so why not. His one side of the family you know the ones who say "if you need anything I'll be there for you or let me know" yeah they are gonna be upset. I had my…
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Packing up to go to other home
My DH is packing up the car to go to his house. When I ask him where that is, he says our address. I have him look outside to see the neighbor's house, the street we live on, the yard, etc. He will agree this is the address, but there is another place. He has been going in an out so much the house is freezing! ( it is 21…
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Professional Guardian
Has anyone had any experience using a professional guardian in Colorado? I am working on getting a petition for guardianship filed but do not want to be the guardian myself. While I reside in the same state, my relationship with my father has been very bad for many years and I am frequently out of the country. There is no…
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One year MC anniversary
Today marks the one year anniversary of my DH going to MC. One of the worst days of my life. I knew the day was coming. I just didn't know it was going to come the way it did. He had pneumonia and was in the hospital and so weak he couldn't stand by himself. The doctor told me he couldn't go home. He said I could no longer…
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New Here: Dad still driving, working, making treatment decisions, but also raging....
Hi Everyone, I am new here and just looking for support to help my brain from melting. My dad a 78, in good general health. An Engineer/Scientist who is still working in his field. Lives with wife, drives, manages finances, invests, travels, etc. He has been diagnosed with either early dementia or Alzeheimer's (depending…
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Helping caregiver long distance
Hi. I’m new to this group. My niece takes care of my sister who has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. They live in the same home together. Please advise how I can support them, especially my niece, an only child who’s raising a teenage daughter. Thank you.
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New, Scared and Confused...
I'm obviously a newbie to this site, as well as the amazing and mysterious world of Alzheimer’s. I began seeing a neurologist last summer because of an inability to think as clearly as I once did. Memory didn't seem like much of a problem since as far as I can remember, I always had a bad memory. Other issues that I…
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Alzheimer's affects friendship and financial safety
Hello all, so very saddened and surprised today when I got a call from my friend of 25 years "blaming me for her failure not to win millions of dollars in Publishers Cleasringhouse sweepstakes". There is a lot of background to this story covering the last 3 months, suffice it to say I had noticed a slow declination of…
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Food Obsessions
My 90 YO mom with mixed dementia has become OCD for lack of a better descriptor about food expiration dates. I clearly write purchased and opened dates on everything with a sharpie but there still no trust and we waste a lot of money on food because she constantly throws it away when it’s perfectly fine She says it tastes…
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DH says he feels worthless
It breaks my heart when he told me he feels worthless because he can’t do the things he used to do. I reaffirmed the things he’s doing right but that’s not enough. He still says he feels useless and good for nothing.🥲
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My LO has FTD and struggles with accepting support
We have important financial and other things that need to be resolved and my LO can’t seem to get anything done herself and refuses to let me take on the tasks. How can I convince her to accept the situation and let me take control? Just reminding her and getting her to write things down hasn’t worked. Now she is getting…
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What is the best way to help
Hi, My mom was officially diagnosed with dementia last spring. I knew she had it before that. She can still manage on her own… mostly. She is incredibly independent and stubborn, she always has been. I find that all of her good and bad personality traits have become more pronounced. Is that familiar to anyone else? My…
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Procrastinating
I ask myself why I am putting off getting help at home for my DH Why is such a simple decision so hard for me to make. It would help me so much to know I can go out and someone will be with him. Give myself piece of mind. But yet I put it off ! Do I really want a stranger in my house , I’ll be tied to their schedule or do…
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Wants to talk to his parents
I’m posting again on this issue because it came up again but worse. He wants to see his parents again. I said they were staying with his sister for a while. He wants to call them to talk to them. I pretended to call his sister and that she didn’t answer - and I would try again later. Distraction wasn’t helping at all. Then…
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UTI Test for Incontinent?
Hello. Is there any way a nursing home can test a patient who has Alzheimer's and is incontinent? My mom is 87, and recently, her agitation and combativeness have continued to escalate. She is hitting, biting, scratching, screaming, and, as they said, "speaking in tongues." She sleeps mainly all day and does not eat as…
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Wants to go home to his parents
My DH has asked off and on over the last few months if his parents are alive, and I’ve said no they are not and he’s been fine with that. Over the last couple of weeks, around 6:00 or so, he mentions he needs to go home. I tell him you live here with me so you can just stay here - again he’s been fine with that. Today at…
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New Here
I am an only child. My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's last Friday. I'm not sure how to feel or react still. I am trying to get her with me. That's what the dr has suggested. I live in an apartment. I'm doing my best to buy a home to bring her to. It's heartbreaking. But..I'm doing all I can.
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VD 93 yr old mom
just found you guys a couple of days ago. Thank you God for this support. I’ve known for quite a few years her mind was bad. Her old PC was not a very compassionate doctor so I finally switched her to a new one. CScan came back as vascular dementia. Her chronic UTI’s are a result of poor hygiene. She’s been on 6 rounds of…
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Caring for my grandmother and my family
Hello! New here and wanted to share my situation, and hopefully get some feedback. My wife and I and our two girls are live-in caregivers for my 93 year old grandmother. My kids are 5 and 6, and we have another on the way. When we moved in with her almost 4 years ago, we realized she wasn't getting the support she needed…
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Do some MCFs accept those who can no longer transfer?
The one I toured told me no, once they get to the stage of not being able to transfer themselves out of bed to a walker for example, they won’t accept them. And if they are already in their MC when they get to this stage, they put them in their SNF, which is like a hospital. No private rooms. Can you all tell me your…
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Waiting
Why do I always feel like I'm waiting on something? My DH has VD and alz. Plus multiple other problems copd cad ect. . Now he almost seems normal. I keep waiting for something to happen. WHY? WHY CANT I JUST ENJOY THE PLATUE HE IS ON?. What is wrong with me?
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New to the group, any advice helps!
My mom got diagnosed in September of this year with Alzheimer's. Right now, it is mild where she needs things explained to her a few times or gets confused about dates. She still has her memory and wits about her and luckily her and my father retired earlier this year so he's taking care of her. She can still function on…
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Navigating emotions and getting help
Hello, I'm new to this group. My mom has alzheimer's. She was diagnosed 1.5 years ago. Since then I have put her home in a trust, Found private care for 2 hrs in the morning M-F, and was sending her to an adult program 3 days a week. She's been to the neurologist and had a psych eval. Believe she's in the middle range of…
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How to help loved one adapt to memory care
My parent went into memory care a couple of days ago. How can family assist in her adapting to memory care? I live out of state but my sibling is nearby as are my parent's siblings. I would like her siblings involved in her care as much as they want to be because it's such a big job for just one person. Right now she is…
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projecting future costs and availability of funds
Today I learned that your investment person, or financial advisor, or ??? can put your information into a spreadsheet that projects how long someone's funds will last if they enter memory care at a given date. Intuitively I knew this could be done but it had never been suggested to me in a "you ought to do this now" sort…