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I need to tell my story of how I am here and how it has affected me
I am struggling, and have been masking for what seems like too long. I am burned out. I need someone to talk to about this, it's been a wild ride. I am in need of a listening ear. My husband has been diagnosed and I am really struggling to cope.
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Negativity
My DH has been diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment by his primary care physician. So far, this has been really hard. I wrote a list of all the behaviors I see at home, it is not his memory it is “faulty” thinking. I gave my list secretly to the neurologist’s medical assistant to give to the doctor. Then the doctor…
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Behavior change question.
My DH has started Saying I Don't Know What To Do. This started when he wakes up at night and now has progessed to morning and occasionally threw out the day. Has anyone experienced this? And if so is this a temporary change or has it become permanent? 5 1/2 years diagnosed. Thanks
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DBAT Scale; FAST Scale; and others?
Which of these scales have you folks found to be helpful? I am the sole caregiver for my 72 yo DH with dementia/Alz. We live in a rural mountain area. (We have all 4 seasons here).
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Looking for advice
My DH has ALZ, somewhere in Stage 3-4. Last night, we were having a conversation and he stopped mid-sentence with a blank look on his face. When he recovered a few seconds later, he realized that something was "off" and obviously very concerned about what had happened. He had forgotten what he was talking about. He was…
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Eating habits
My DH has a habit of eating his meal very quickly, like he's aftaid he'll never see food again. We have accidents of him knocking his glass over, dripping food everywhere, but so far no choking, which I worry about. He was a firefighter for 33 years and I know they all ate very quickly in case the alarm went off, so I'm…
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Defining "self-care" as a caregiver?
I thought I knew what it meant… I mean, generally, yeah. But for a caregiver of a spouse with YOA, I'm realizing I kinda don't know what that actually looks like. I'm going 110mph all the time and my brain hurts (not to mention my eyes from all the reading, forms, etc.). I'm looking for hacks & visualization re: what…
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I just need to vent
It’s been said that no good deed goes unpunished…how true this idiom is. My husband had been wanting a dog since we lost our last one. I wasn’t sure we were ready but in a weaker moment I saw a dog on the county shelter site that looked like she would be perfect. She is 8 years old so no longer a puppy, was supposedly…
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Not sure what to do!
Back in February my mom wasn't answering her phone one morning. I went to her house and found her on the floor of her bedroom, presumably she had been there most of the night. Long story short, after a month in skilled care, she went to an assisted living facility and she will not be going home. She is not adjusting well…
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Looking for Work From Home Opportunities
Hello, I thought this would be a good place to ask since other people might have the same or a similar struggle. I stopped working in July after I abruptly decided to come care for my Grandmother who is level 5 LBD. I have since depleted my savings and I am not getting paid for her caregiving. Although I have applied for…
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Before diagnosis
My dad has not been diagnosed yet but we are in a difficult situation. My dad is having short term memory loss issues. He is 86. He is a physician and probably the smartest man I have ever known. He has always been the patriarch of the family and in charge of everything. He does not want to relinquish any of that control.…
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Ideas for managing bad habits
My MIL has taken to spitting in the house. She'll eat a meal, and I guess bits of food will stay in her mouth, even though we tell her to stay at the table until she's finished swallowing and try to get her to drink before leaving the room. Once she gets settled in the living room, she'll start spitting those bits of food…
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Stuck Between a Rock and a Hard Place
My mom moved in with my wife and me about 5 years ago (all my wife's wishes). The dynamics have been rough especially with a language barrier. I'm stuck translating and lately the fights are bad. My mom doesn't want to have caregivers on Sunday late afternoons 2-6pm so that my wife and I can have date night. She wants to…
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Hospice.
Hi: My DW has had VD for almost 3 years. She is 78. She has now been in Hospice for 4 months. I go to see her daily, she is bed bound. She can no longer walk, talk, feed herself or help herself daily bathroom care. The must put her in a wheelchair in the morning so she can be feed. She cannot move her hands or feet. If she…
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Decision Time: To Live or Not to Live
My head has been pounding all day. My DM made me her all-in-all as it pertains to her end of life matters. Out of 2 children borne, only 1 remain. Me! A terminally ill retired RN. When mom was in her "right mind," she NEVER wanted surgical attempts be made to correct her Afib. With Vascular Dementia and Alzheimers now…
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How to respond when they are confused over reality and what they believe
Sorry this post is so long. Guess I really needed to vent in addition to asking this question. Here I am again after a while away. Seems life with my DH has consumed me a bit. I realize I need to come out from that and get back into reading posts here and asking for help. My DH is mid stage 5, but still able to care for…
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Cross country transport CA---MO
MOm has been hospitalized - no injuries but they would rec waiting a few weeks before travel. For the 3.5 hour flight we'd need to find someone to assist my brother- do we look for a nurse or ? How do we find such a person- are there any resources for these sorts of things? thanks My brother will be there, I will not. We…
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Ideas for things dh could “repair”
or take apart. My husband fiddled with taking apart an old garage door opener the other day (why he thought it needed taking apart is a mystery) and I thought more things like this would be good to have around to keep him occupied both here and at the day program he attends. They are having trouble with him being anxious…
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Mom Newly diagnosed
Hi, My mom's dr confirmed that she has Alzheimer's. She had some early memory problems on and off for about a year now. My parents are in their late 70's and my dad and I will be her primary caregivers for now. But I'm a wife and parent of two children, 7 and 15...I also work full time. I'm just exploring support for all…
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Dementia and Medications
My grandmother was diagnosed with moderate dementia not long ago.. I moved in with her a year ago. And my husband and I are really the only family members involved.. well, about a month ago she was complaining daily about how many medications she had to take and said she didn't need all of them. I explained well, most of…
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Needing Some Reassurance about Putting My Sister in AL
Hi and a big thank-you to all of you who have contributed your very helpful advice and experiences to this wonderful forum. I have learned so much from all of you. I appreciate each and every word you have contributed! My sister has stage 5 to 6 Alzheimer's (my estimate). My NP said she had advanced AZ. I am waiting on the…
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Medigap F, G and N, also high deductible
It's real now, we are moving from CA to NC. New house closes Friday, getting our home here ready for listing. We are leaving Kaiser Medicare Advantage and i am thinking of original medicare for my husband, since we are moving out of state and keeping Kaiser is not an option. We have the rare opportunity to select Original…
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Will a psychiatrist help?
i wonder if a psychiatrist will help my DW with her delusions? My DW has had a noticeable increase in delusions of someone trying to kill her and also of my imagined infidelity. These delusions occurring day and night are causing her to express ongoing anger, anxiety and sometimes depression. What has been the experience…
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NEWBIE too
Hello Everyone, I’ve been reading posts since I found alzconnected last week. Before that I think I was in denial about my DH; lately I can only read small doses of all of your helpful posts without feeling really down. But I am getting braver. My DH is diagnosed with late onset Alzheimer’s mild with anxiety. He doesn’t…
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Any tips for transition to memory care?
It's becoming clear that it's time to apply for Memory Care waitlists. My LO is rapidly declining and we are no longer able to leave her for any amount of time (she's been living with us for 18 months). We've been unsuccessful finding in home help and we both work. I've cut back to working 3 days a week and my husband and…
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Need advice
Hi all! I just joined needing support , advice, somewhere to vent. My mother has had several mini strokes (TIA) in the past few years. Since then she has rapidly declined with memory, decision making, daily functioning etc. She is now diagnosed with mixed dimentia (vascular dimentia and alzheimers). It explains her…
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preparing for end of life
Just thinking ahead a bit—it's so hard to gauge. We have several excellent caregivers, and I kind of hate to think of telling them "Well, he's gone, bye." What do you think about telling them we'll give them 2 weeks pay afterwards so they're not left in the lurch?
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New here. Not sure of help we need.
I am new here. My Dw and I have been on this journey for 6+ years. There were signs before that but they didn’t register until later. We have been going along since. I have looked for advice on how to do specific tasks, activities, appointments, etc. from our Primary DR, Neurologist DR, Senior Center, Alzheimer's…
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I am new to this community
Hello, I am new to this community and looking for support and help. I am 78, and my husband is 5.5 years younger. I have spoken at length with my doctor about what's going on in my life, and she has been very supportive and suggested I come here for guidance. I have seen my husband's decline over the past several years,…
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Delirium or progression
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