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How can she seem so sharp?
My mom has always been highly intelligent and insightful. It's obvious that she is declining mentally and has said things that are clearly delusions and paranoia, but her intelligence and ability to discuss current events is still amazing. I can be having a conversation with her and things are totally normal and the next…
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Help me diagnose my dad?
Hello all! I know I should be asking a professional for help but it’s really hard to get my dad to a doctor and when he was in the hospital before I went nuts trying to get an answer from anyone. So in the beginning of 2020 my dad was his usual self…he would fumble on words and forget things here and there but I would…
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trauma after move to AL
I'm new to this board and from browsing, I wish I had joined years ago. My mom has ALZ, prob stage 3-4. She had been living independently about 40min from us and I was increasingly concerned about her safety (esp driving) and general isolation. We started looking at AL residences about 6 mos ago - some on my own and the…
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Paranoia(10)
I am a 24/7 caregiver for my mother with dementia. I'm overwhelmed and barely holding it together. Recently, past couple of months, Mom has developed an everyday obsession thinking that people are coming into the house and stealing things. It's either my brother, distant (some even long deceased) relatives or figures from…
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Guilty and relieved
Back story: Youngest sister lived with mom and dad with her husband shortly after she got married. My parents worked full-time and my sister was a housewife. When my parents retired my sister went to work full-time and my mom watched her kids. About 5 years ago my parents health started declining. As siblings we agreed, as…
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Move transition issues
My mother was diagnosed with “mild neurocognitive disorder - possible Alzheimer’s subtype” back in Oct. 2021 at the age of 73. She had lived by herself for over 10 years after caring for my stepfather who died of ALZ in 2010. Early in 2020, we realized that mom was unable to handle her finances anymore (missing bills,…
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Navigating hospice - help!
Sheesh, this is long again, sorry, I have a habit if not being very concise So, we have had some really good experiences with hospice so far but one big issue… We loved the intake nurse, who still calls to chat. We loved the nurses who have come out, the social worker and the chaplain. Very thorough and helpful. But the…
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my parents are caregivers, and I'm worried for their health - advice?
Hey all, I'm new to this group and looking for some advice. My grandmother was diagnosed with dementia about two and a half years ago, right after my grandfather passed away. Since then my mother has been taking care of my grandmother, driving down 6+ hours from the Bay Area to Southern California every two weeks to stay…
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What State for Medicaid?
Many posters have reported difficulty obtaining financial assistance from State agencies and niggardly support at best. Is there a source of information rating various States in this respect?
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When to pursue a specialist opinion?
My mother is 71 and has increased episodes of repetition-repeating questions and activites. At first they were directly related to higher anxiety periods such as when she is preparing for visitors or just generally concerned about someone or something. Now they can happen without those prompts. In addtion, she struggles…
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Guilt Trip(1)
Mom increasingly uses guilt trip tactics to arm wrestle me into submission. She's wants to stay in the home until death even through she says "as long as I can". By saying "as long as I can" allows her to be in control of the timing. She is fixated on burial in her home town 1,266 miles away and repeatedly tells stories…
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 3/1/22
DO NOT BE TROUBLED * John 14:27 Amplified Bible "Peace I leave with you; My [perfect] peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be afraid. [Let My perfect peace calm you in every circumstance and give you courage and strength for every challenge.]" * me:…
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I’m just frustrated.
Today, I received a text from a childhood friend. She expressed to me she fears that Mom, my LO with AD living in a SNF since May 2021, “…is alone more than she should be.” Also, recently, one of Mom’s younger brothers said he would not be returning to the SNF because “…it smells like a nursing home,” and that I should be…
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Packing for move to assisted living tips
Hello- My LO will be moving to her own small apartment in assisted living in a few weeks. I’m looking for your tips, tricks etc. What to take vs what not to take. Any advice to make the tradition go smoothly. Things you wish you had or had not done. She will have a microwave and refrigerator kitchenette and her own private…
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Respite care for vacation - does this exist?
We're looking for respite care for my MiL (mid-staged, moderate Alzheimer's) so that we can take our first vacation in nearly three years. We're having a hard time finding anyone who will take her at all, let alone for less than 30 days minimum (who can go away for 30 days and still need respite care services?). And even…
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Loved one with dementia at a wedding?
My name is Melanie and I’m 26 years old. This past December my fiancé proposed to me. It was a beautiful moment but short lived. We decided to get married in June 2022. The sooner the better for my dads sake. He has some sort of dementia. We never got a full diagnosis but symptoms started in June of 2020. He is bed bound…
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Abandoned by family and friends
My mother was a very active and social person in the before times. She had so many friends and social events that it was often hard for me to keep up with her calendar! Lunch with the girls, yoga and coffee after, prayer group, movie club etc. etc. Not to mention our big family where she never forgot a niece or nephew's…
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Verbal rollercoaster
DH’s language skills are swinging wildly in stage 6d... A short while ago he tells me: “something must be getting caught in my internal affairs” (he had the hiccups). Extra words flow and I can at least comprehend what he’s trying to communicate— then not 3 minutes later he tries to share a thought and couldn’t even finish…
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Non sleep and fidgeting?
My mother, aged 94 with fairly advanced dementia, recently and fairly quickly went bonkers. She hasn't been sleeping at night (3 nights in a row now) fidgets incessantly, and has been agitated which is totally out of character. We have put her on an antibiotic for a UTI, because she fits all the symptoms. I hope to get the…
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Treating my dad like a child
My dad lives with me and my family. He often behaves in a way that my 2 daughters aren’t allowed to behave. We lead by example and hold my dad to the same standards as our children. For example: Yesterday we ate spaghetti for supper. Dad didn’t eat all his food. We told him to put his bowl in the fridge so he could finish…
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Looking for Non-Virtual Support Group
I've been living a very different, hellish life for the past year, and I'm sure that DW's has been even worse as she went from a healthy, happy, 75 year old who embraced life, loved to cook, travel, read, exercise, and get together with friends, to a very different now 76 year old who sits in our condo all day, won't…
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Mattress for hospital bed
I laid down in my LO’s bed today. It’s horrible! When the time comes, I don’t want her to be bedridden in that thing! Has anyone bought a good mattress and put it on the hospital bed frame? What kind did you buy? It will need to bend and not be too thick. She’s short and we have the bed as close to the floor as we can get…
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A lot going on
My dad’s shingles are cleared up. He has bells palsy, which numbs the pain in his jaw. So he doesn't think that he needs surgery to remove his 8 pieces of teeth. But Bob is still taking him to get that done tomorrow morning. And in a couple of months, after everything else is healed, he's having surgery to remove the…
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CBD Gummies
Are you pro or con? What level? What brand? Can you use them with other meds? Thanks!
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How to answer why am I here (in MC facility)? Is it ever appropriate to tell the truth?
My dad and I recently moved my 68-year old mother into a memory care facility. Today is her two-week anniversary there, and it's already a struggle. She gets stuck in a "loop" asking questions: why do I have to be here? When can I go home? I didn't do anything wrong, why am I wearing an ankle bracelet? Why are you lying to…
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Alzheimer's is winning
Momma is getting worse, quickly. Won't cooperate with taking meds. Has started pocketing food. Can't use a straw. We are giving her liquids with a syringe. Eating less good food, more sweets. Her body is drawing up, her legs are tucked up close to her body very tightly when lying on her back. When on her side they are…
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What to ask on tour of care facility
I've finally started to make some decisions about what to do with my mom. I have given up my own home life to move in with her for 11 months (luckily could still keep working). I now feel that she would be better off in a community with plenty of activities and new friends, and is able to function enough without me…
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36Hour Day... Dad wont accept help with Mom...audible Eye Rolls and more fun in the life of Alz.
I am Lisa. I am 54, so not too wet behind the ears, but needing to vent, question, commiserate, seek help and all the other mundane needs of a caregiver to an Alz LO. My mom is turning 78 this year. My dad is 80. They will have been married 59 years in March. They have never dated others, have never lived apart, have never…
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Aggressive behavior(4)
So how many of you have an aggressive LO. Mine is at stage 6, never wanted to go to assisted living, however for several reasons it became too hard and really impossible to keep her at home. She is often verbally aggressive, since going into the facility she has become physically aggressive too. Today, she dealt the staff…
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Having issues coping!
My mom was diagnosed about 5 years ago with dementia. But in the last year it has progressed extremely fast. We placed her in an assisted living facility almost two years ago. My mom use to be so active in many different groups and loved to spend time with my niece. Watching someone go from so active to not able to do…