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LTC - virtual assessment today - pitfalls to watch out for?
The LTC company set up a zoom call with a nurse from their subcontractor and we need to take the call on a cell phone in Dad's room at memory care. The MC director of nursing is irritated that they won't just accept her care plan and forego the assessment. She is tied up with a COVID outbreak in the facility. (Yes, the…
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Looking for help/advice
Hi, My MIL has moderate dementia and lives in a MC nearby. I hope that someone can offer advice and suggestions. * I may be wrong, but it seems like most people on these boards are caring for their LOs at home. Although there are many overlapping issues, I am wondering if there is a different site I should look at for…
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pseudo dementia
Has anyone here had a LO diagnosed with pseudo dementia? If so, what treatment did they get? Was memory restored? Or did the loss stop after treatment? Any info appreciated.
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Father with dementia at my wedding? PART 2
Hello everyone! Melanie here! I’m new to this forum so bare with me! I don’t know how to post my last forum but it was titled “loved one with dementia at a wedding?” I wanted to say thank you for all the warm comments! Everyone who reached out really gave me new perspectives to look at. I have a few things I need to…
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How to let go once moving your spouse into Memory Care?
How does one let go of making sure everything is being done for your spouse after moving him into Memory Care? How do you learn to enjoy living your life after taking 24/7 care of your spouse for the past 4 years?
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A tale as old as time - the caregiver child
Here is an interesting excerpt from the year 1694. It's a will (from my geneaology research) where he notes the care his daughter gave that is unlikely to be recognized by his son after his death. "The reason why I apparently give more to my aforesaid daughter than to my son, is not that I bear less affection to him than…
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Mom is blaming the vaccine
Mom has been showing signs of dementia for a few years. It's gotten more intense the past month or so with delusions, paranoia, and more short term memory issues. My brother and I find it so challenging to know whether to have a frank conversation with her or just let her be - - as it has been seeming like she wasn't aware…
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 3/4/22
LET'S PRAY FOR GOD'S LIGHT How many of us scroll quickly by verses on social media calling for "love your enemies?" Perhaps many of us, including me, do not completely understand what that means. Let's discuss what you think Jesus meant by "love your enemies." Let's pray for the Lord's understanding. The Holy Spirit…
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How can she seem so sharp?
My mom has always been highly intelligent and insightful. It's obvious that she is declining mentally and has said things that are clearly delusions and paranoia, but her intelligence and ability to discuss current events is still amazing. I can be having a conversation with her and things are totally normal and the next…
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Help me diagnose my dad?
Hello all! I know I should be asking a professional for help but it’s really hard to get my dad to a doctor and when he was in the hospital before I went nuts trying to get an answer from anyone. So in the beginning of 2020 my dad was his usual self…he would fumble on words and forget things here and there but I would…
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trauma after move to AL
I'm new to this board and from browsing, I wish I had joined years ago. My mom has ALZ, prob stage 3-4. She had been living independently about 40min from us and I was increasingly concerned about her safety (esp driving) and general isolation. We started looking at AL residences about 6 mos ago - some on my own and the…
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Paranoia(10)
I am a 24/7 caregiver for my mother with dementia. I'm overwhelmed and barely holding it together. Recently, past couple of months, Mom has developed an everyday obsession thinking that people are coming into the house and stealing things. It's either my brother, distant (some even long deceased) relatives or figures from…
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Guilty and relieved
Back story: Youngest sister lived with mom and dad with her husband shortly after she got married. My parents worked full-time and my sister was a housewife. When my parents retired my sister went to work full-time and my mom watched her kids. About 5 years ago my parents health started declining. As siblings we agreed, as…
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Move transition issues
My mother was diagnosed with “mild neurocognitive disorder - possible Alzheimer’s subtype” back in Oct. 2021 at the age of 73. She had lived by herself for over 10 years after caring for my stepfather who died of ALZ in 2010. Early in 2020, we realized that mom was unable to handle her finances anymore (missing bills,…
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Navigating hospice - help!
Sheesh, this is long again, sorry, I have a habit if not being very concise So, we have had some really good experiences with hospice so far but one big issue… We loved the intake nurse, who still calls to chat. We loved the nurses who have come out, the social worker and the chaplain. Very thorough and helpful. But the…
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my parents are caregivers, and I'm worried for their health - advice?
Hey all, I'm new to this group and looking for some advice. My grandmother was diagnosed with dementia about two and a half years ago, right after my grandfather passed away. Since then my mother has been taking care of my grandmother, driving down 6+ hours from the Bay Area to Southern California every two weeks to stay…
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What State for Medicaid?
Many posters have reported difficulty obtaining financial assistance from State agencies and niggardly support at best. Is there a source of information rating various States in this respect?
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When to pursue a specialist opinion?
My mother is 71 and has increased episodes of repetition-repeating questions and activites. At first they were directly related to higher anxiety periods such as when she is preparing for visitors or just generally concerned about someone or something. Now they can happen without those prompts. In addtion, she struggles…
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Guilt Trip(1)
Mom increasingly uses guilt trip tactics to arm wrestle me into submission. She's wants to stay in the home until death even through she says "as long as I can". By saying "as long as I can" allows her to be in control of the timing. She is fixated on burial in her home town 1,266 miles away and repeatedly tells stories…
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 3/1/22
DO NOT BE TROUBLED * John 14:27 Amplified Bible "Peace I leave with you; My [perfect] peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be afraid. [Let My perfect peace calm you in every circumstance and give you courage and strength for every challenge.]" * me:…
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I’m just frustrated.
Today, I received a text from a childhood friend. She expressed to me she fears that Mom, my LO with AD living in a SNF since May 2021, “…is alone more than she should be.” Also, recently, one of Mom’s younger brothers said he would not be returning to the SNF because “…it smells like a nursing home,” and that I should be…
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Packing for move to assisted living tips
Hello- My LO will be moving to her own small apartment in assisted living in a few weeks. I’m looking for your tips, tricks etc. What to take vs what not to take. Any advice to make the tradition go smoothly. Things you wish you had or had not done. She will have a microwave and refrigerator kitchenette and her own private…
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Respite care for vacation - does this exist?
We're looking for respite care for my MiL (mid-staged, moderate Alzheimer's) so that we can take our first vacation in nearly three years. We're having a hard time finding anyone who will take her at all, let alone for less than 30 days minimum (who can go away for 30 days and still need respite care services?). And even…
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Loved one with dementia at a wedding?
My name is Melanie and I’m 26 years old. This past December my fiancé proposed to me. It was a beautiful moment but short lived. We decided to get married in June 2022. The sooner the better for my dads sake. He has some sort of dementia. We never got a full diagnosis but symptoms started in June of 2020. He is bed bound…
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Abandoned by family and friends
My mother was a very active and social person in the before times. She had so many friends and social events that it was often hard for me to keep up with her calendar! Lunch with the girls, yoga and coffee after, prayer group, movie club etc. etc. Not to mention our big family where she never forgot a niece or nephew's…
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Verbal rollercoaster
DH’s language skills are swinging wildly in stage 6d... A short while ago he tells me: “something must be getting caught in my internal affairs” (he had the hiccups). Extra words flow and I can at least comprehend what he’s trying to communicate— then not 3 minutes later he tries to share a thought and couldn’t even finish…
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Non sleep and fidgeting?
My mother, aged 94 with fairly advanced dementia, recently and fairly quickly went bonkers. She hasn't been sleeping at night (3 nights in a row now) fidgets incessantly, and has been agitated which is totally out of character. We have put her on an antibiotic for a UTI, because she fits all the symptoms. I hope to get the…
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Treating my dad like a child
My dad lives with me and my family. He often behaves in a way that my 2 daughters aren’t allowed to behave. We lead by example and hold my dad to the same standards as our children. For example: Yesterday we ate spaghetti for supper. Dad didn’t eat all his food. We told him to put his bowl in the fridge so he could finish…
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Looking for Non-Virtual Support Group
I've been living a very different, hellish life for the past year, and I'm sure that DW's has been even worse as she went from a healthy, happy, 75 year old who embraced life, loved to cook, travel, read, exercise, and get together with friends, to a very different now 76 year old who sits in our condo all day, won't…
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Mattress for hospital bed
I laid down in my LO’s bed today. It’s horrible! When the time comes, I don’t want her to be bedridden in that thing! Has anyone bought a good mattress and put it on the hospital bed frame? What kind did you buy? It will need to bend and not be too thick. She’s short and we have the bed as close to the floor as we can get…