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feeling angry at Alzheimer's
Hospice says my dad is in the end stages. I am fortunate to be part of a family that always rallies around and supports each other, and we all live in the same general area. My sisters and I all help care for our parents. We each fill the roles that we are most suited for, be that emotional, financial, or hands-on care, or…
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Making the hard decision that LO needs assisted living
Hello all- I think I’m just looking for some reassurance that this is the right thing. So my LO is 74 diagnosed Alzheimer’s in September 2021. I’d say about a stage 5 Her neurologist recommended that she no longer lives alone. Lives alone in a rapidly falling apart home. Sadly, I don’t have the ability to care for them at…
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MCI to early stage dementia - a cell phone caretaker's experience
My 82 year old relative has schizophrenia since thirties and clinically tested MCI two years ago, amnestic type, lives alone in his house and seems to function ok without any support services coming in, 4 months ago primary doctor suspended or revoked license due to delusions he heard. No neuropsychological cognitive…
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HEARING ISSUES? ALZEIMERS or SEPARATE?
hey LOVELY PEOPLE of the CAREGIVER FORUM... my MOM has suddenly developed some HEARING LOSS.... not MAJOR... but NOTICEABLE (to me!)... she is in MID STAGES of ALZ... she goes to the bathroom on her own, walks well... but, certainly well along... i was just wondering if this is something that happens... or just a…
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New to memory care(1)
Hi all: I'm brand new to this message board. My mom, 88 yr old was in assisted living for almost three years and recently moved to memory care in the same facility (three weeks ago). Her dementia (unspecified) seems to be rapidly advancing by the week. Twice the caregivers couldn't calm her down and have called me, with my…
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New to group(6)
I'm new to the group and thought I would share my story in the hope it resonates with others so they know they are not alone, and get insight from others who have been on this journey much longer than me. My mom was dx with early onset Alz. dementia in 2019 (age 71) and has advanced rather quickly. I would say we are in…
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Time for Doctor Change?
Sigh!!!!! Mom's primary left the practice last month and new NP, after 1 phone appt., doesn't seem equipped or medically knowledgeable about treating Vascular Dementia. I asked what was her medical experience with Dementia to which she responded with a story about her grandmother and stories shared by her mother???? She…
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Bouncing back and forth with abilities
My FIL as many of you know had hip surgery in January and it has taken a good month for him to be off the many meds to even start to gauge what he can and can’t do. Some things he seems better than pre-surgery, and others worse. What is new for us is that we seem to be bouncing back and forth between his abilities. Before…
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Have parents visit their old home, good idea or bad?
Hello everyone, We’re all in this together, been reading through these posts and everything sounds very painfully familiar. We had to move both my parents into memory care back in November. At the time my dad understood why and agreed. Mom, having no short-term memory, would agree, forget, then argue. Ever since moving in…
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Daily Crying: How to help stop the crying?
My mother cries everyday and sometimes for hours each day. There does not appear to be any physical pain or other issues, but rather it is just a symptom of her dementia. I have tried various activities that sometimes help, such as playing her favorite music and trying to dance with her, giving her a snack to eat, holding…
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Advice on next step care, when family is struggling
Hi All, My mother is only 65 but in late stages of EO. I'm only 36 have a 15 month old son and live out of state. My 30 year old sister is my moms part-time caregiver (my dad is full time and we have a caregiver 10 hours a week just to give my dad a break). My sister is due with her first baby in April. My mom's mobility…
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Veteran Directed Care Program
Has anyone used this program or is familiar with it?: https://www.va.gov/geriatrics/pages/Veteran-Directed_Care.asp My sister currently attends Adult Day Care 5 days a week paid for by the VA Health Care system, but there are some problems right now with the VA end of it and I'm concerned she might lose that benefit. I'm…
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CCRCs - IMPORTANT DETAILED INFORMATION
This is a very detailed article from AARP regarding various types of CCRCs, what to look for, questions to ask, average costs and so much more. https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/basics/info-2017/continuing-care-retirement-communities.html J.
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Getting Stressed
I am in the process of moving my parents to AL. My mom is in a care facility until we can get them into their apartment. She had a fall on Thanksgiving and had to have hip surgery 4 days later. Since her fall the dementia has gotten worse and they will not let her come home until we get them moved into AL. I have explained…
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New here - resources in FL?
Hi everyone! While trying to find some resources in FL, I came upon this. My grandmother was diagnosed about 2 years ago. I am honestly not sure what stage she is in - I would guess mild still at the moment. She is extremely limited financially, and I am trying to find resources to help pay for home health to assist her in…
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I just NEED my mom!
My Mom recently was moved into AL and loves it there thankfully. After seeing her everyday for awhile I’ve gotten down to Wed and Sundays which works great for her because she doesn’t want to miss any activities. Wednesday after my visit with her, my 14 year old son had a cat scan because he’s had a nagging cough the last…
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Update on moving momma
It's been 23 days since we moved momma from the house in Texas to my house in Louisiana. Each day is a learning experience. I have found a great lady for the night shift. She works from 8pm until 8am. She is very good and kind. She started caregiving when her parents became ill. Her dad is still alive and has dementia. He…
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Problems with Authorizations for VA Paid Day Care?
For about 8 months, my sister has been receiving adult day care services paid for by the VA. Apparently, there has been a problem for at least a couple of years with the authorization numbers the VA assigns when they approve a veteran for these services in that the numbers don't work in the billing system. That's what I've…
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expected time span
Hi all, What is the expected lifespan of a dementia patient who is at the stage when she needs help with basic living tasks such as feeding and going to toilet? Thanks.
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Starting to panic
Hello everyone. My mother is on the placement list for the veterans home I worked at. They have begun admissions again but they are going slow.and it will be a while. I'm having panic attacks just thinking about placing her. Roles reversed as you all well know. I am her mother she is my child. It's just her and me. No help…
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Trying to decide what is the best interest of my mom
Hi! I am my mom's caregiver and POA. I am an only child and I have been handling all of her needs on my own (my husband is supportive) for 4 years. Today I got a call from my uncle who suggested I move her closer to him in assisted living. He has worked at the assisted living place and it is a clean place that has nice…
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I’m new too and overwhelmed for now
Both my parents have dementia and I quit work to live with them 8 years ago. I am divorced with no children and an only child who moved from my town to theirs. My mom was hospitalized a month ago and when she came home she brought Covid. We are all vaccinated and recovered well. My mom started physical therapy this week…
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Shock of my life (x2)
Part 1: I wrote a long post earlier, chronicling our latest adventure. It reported a happy ending but really a mystery and when I went to post, it disappeared. Didn't have much more time to leave DH to his own devices so I elected not to retype it at the time. All's well that ends well, though! The short version is, he…
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two PWDs living together
Hi, I have two PWDs who have been living together with me as caregiver for a few years. It has been manageable as they have been mild to moderately demented but they complement each other thus actually make my work easier in some ways (for example, they can keep each other company so I can have more free time). However,…
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My mother is gone
She was boosted but Omicron, or perhaps quarantine, proved to be too much for her. It sent her down a spiral she couldn’t come back from. It seemed incredibly sudden despite the fact that I’ve been preparing for this, sometimes even hoping for this, for a long time. She lived with some level of Alz for at least 10 years,…
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Finding old posts
Hi everyone, I was active on this forum while caregiving for my mother with dementia. I lost her in July 2019. I am finally ready to start writing about the experience, and it would be very helpful to go through the posts that I made during that time, and the things that people said and response. I'm wondering how I can…
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A Promise
I promised my wife that our home will always be her "safe place" even as she has become more disabled. It is a promise I intend to keep. She cannot communicate other than through fear or need-based reactions, which I can address on the spot. The decision by myself and her doctor to call Hospice has been a huge relief. They…
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Forgetting everything
She’s just forgetting how to do everything. Helping her do things turns into manhandling her which irritates because she forgets what she wanted to do. If she’s trying to stand up and we help her she gets distracted and forgets she was trying to stand up. Watching her struggle hurts. She spends her day getting in and out…
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How do you know when comfort care or Hospice are appropriate?
My mom has lost a lot of ground over the last couple of months. She is now incontinent, no longer able to walk, requires assistance to stand and transfer, she can not feed herself and her food must be puréed. She only weighs 95 pounds. But she can chat up a storm at times. Not able to hold conversation but talks about…
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Ready for AL
Up to this point my father has continued to live alone despite exhibiting symptoms of the late moderate to early severe stages. We have introduced a caregiver who comes for 5 hours a day, but we are too nervous now about leaving him alone for longer periods of the day. We have also come to learn that a neighbor has been…