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Feel like a one-armed caregiver, but doing my best
Good morning, Because my wife and I have limited resources, I have been managing her care for the last 3 years. We have had ups and downs, but lately, her disease is becoming more aggressive. Sue is delusional much of the time, but am thankful she is not agitated; just inquisitive about things that don't exist. More than…
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Has your relationship with your adult offspring suffered?
My 40 year old son is mad at us. He and his family were at our home for Christmas, stayed in a hotel that night, and stopped back by the next day. He stopped and visited his grandparents first. He spent most of the 30 minutes in our home making passive aggressive jokes about us being old and needing nursing homes.…
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Dirty laundry
Hi, My M-I-L lives in MC and my F-I-L lives with us (with his own medical issues). We have found out that she is not letting the staff clean her room or do her laundry. That said, we believe the staff must get in at times because she and her room appear clean. It seems she washes her underwear by hand (with hand soap)…
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Family has no clue
Our mom has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s for about a year. I have a big family (I am one of 8 children) and only a few actually help with our mom. One of our sisters would come from out of town every other month to stay for 1-2 weeks and give the two here doing everything with mom some much needed relief-until this past…
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Daily Struggle with Sundowner's
Our LO around 4pm almost daily puts on her coat and packs a bag of clothing. She tells us she is ready to go to her original home. She mentions that our current house is a duplicate of her original one. In a calm tone, we find ourselves gently reminding her she is in a safe place to stay and won't have to worry about…
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Easing the transition to a residential memory care facility + depression
My 68 year old mother with dementia just moved into a residential memory care facility on Tuesday. She was taken there directly from the hospital, where she'd been for two weeks. The situation went from pretend everything's fine to, in the span of a few weeks: completely unmanageable, severe sundowners/nighttime psychosis…
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New Here - Difficult Decision Coming Soon
My mother wrote a notarized 'Advanced Health Care Directive' that instructs us to not replace her pacemaker/battery if she has been diagnosed with dementia and there is no chance of improvement. She watched her father and mother both experience alzheimer's and it was deeply disturbing to her. She has a year left on the…
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There's a whole lot of her missing.
There's a whole lot of her missing with ghoulish anniversaries haunting my days. https://www.stumpedtowndementia.com/post/there-s-a-whole-lot-of-her-missing
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Stage 6, still talks up a storm
Hi All, up to this point I've just been a lurker, but I really appreciate all the advice and expertise everyone shares in this forum. Would love to hear your experiences with the below: My mom, approximately stage 6c of Alz, lives with my husband and I and she still talks up a storm! While she of course cannot find…
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How to Respond?(1)
Technically, my mom could still do many things around the house - but doesn't - because she doesn't think of it/remember or doesn't have a concept of time - she always says she will do it later, but later never comes - so I've just started doing most everything. I have no problem doing all of the tasks (laundry, dishes,…
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New here.(2)
Hi all: My mother was diagnosed around a year ago, but has been exhibiting symptoms of dementia for some time before that. After my father's death late last summer, mom's symptoms have accelerated. She has limited financial resources, and lived with my sister for 3 months until she began to accuse my sister and her partner…
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At a Loss - LO in AL Thinks People are Stealing from Her
Hello all, This is really long, but I am seeking feedback from those caregivers who have supported their LOs with sundowning.. My LO is in assisted living and has begun exhibiting severe sundowning issues. She insists that someone is coming into her apartment and stealing items while she sleeps. Of course, no one is…
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Hello, New here
Hello everybody, I’m so glad that I found this site. My Dad has dementia, we are not sure exactly what kind. He was first diagnosed with mild cognitive disorder. He has gotten really bad over the past year. We are definitely fortunate that my mom can be with him all the time and is his caregiver. I’m not sure what he knows…
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My Dad Passed Away This Morning
While I was as prepared as I could be, I am heartbroken. At the same time, I am so happy he passed peacefully in his sleep. The past 3 weeks have been especially difficult for him.. I'm so glad he's not suffering anymore. I am so happy I got the opportunity to take care of him. I am so happy he didn't die alone. I slept on…
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New here and looking for help(1)
Good afternoon My name is Kathy and I believe my mom has some form of dementia. She will be 84 in a couple weeks. I've noticed some things in the past year and, at the suggestion of my PCP, I contacted her doctor to see about getting her to ask the right questions in order to get my mom tested, but the doctor never…
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So overwhelmed, I feel like I am going to break.
To make a long story short, placing my dad in a facility is not an option at this time. There is no one else to care for him except me and a paid caregiver. I am so overwhelmed and stressed thinking about living another year like I have been. I have a care giver during the day when I am at work and I will be increasing the…
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Losing your wife
She's still here, but every day Alzheimer's takes away a little more. I'm the sole caregiver. She cries a lot of the time. Nothing consoles her. I'm having a hard time after three years remembering the woman I married ...
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My mother has locked me out
My mother has exhibited many signs of dementia, has very impaired hearing and vision. She has not been diagnosed with anything as she has refused to see a neurologist or similar in the last 10 years and she can pass as having capacity. She started accusing me and my daughter of being against her and eventually restricted…
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Don’t know what to do anymore.
Mom’s symptoms are getting progressively worse every day. Current medications: 900 MG Lithium 300 MG Seroquel at bedtime 50 MG Seroquel as needed 50 MG Trazodone This all started in March of 2020. Mom contracted Covid-19 and it alerted us to a blood clot. She was hospitalized and initially the doctors believed she would…
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Miracles do Happen!
After 9 months of battles with my father, my family and I were able to convince (trick really) my dad into a senior facility with my mom. And, looks like this dumb feud with my sister and brother has come to an end! Unfortunately, second night involved the police and trip to the ER (what a waste), but he's finally back on…
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Getting my dad all set
I got my dad to all the doctors appointments and got him hearing aids. He has a colonoscopy scheduled for Monday morning. Tonight I have to hide all my dad’s usual food so that he can only eat the food that’s designed for his colonoscopy prep. I have to follow the schedule for giving him all the right foods at the right…
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Double Trouble - long distance edition
Hi All, I’ve been lurking in this forum a while & decided to post in hopes of getting some advice for my situation. I’m sorry this is long, but I would be so grateful to anybody who can chime in. My head is spinning! This is regarding 2 LOs (my grandparents) who are basically parents to me. Grandpa has vascular dementia,…
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Hi, I'm new here! So here's the thing...
It''s been a while that we realised that my father had some kind of dementia but none of the doctors we visited gave us official diagnosis. However, during the last two months he got worse and 2 weeks ago he fell into paranoia and he became violent. We managed to convince him to go to the doctor and he gave us diagnosis of…
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I'm new here - best door chime to know when parent is leaving the house?
Our father, living with our mom in a ground level apartment has dimensia. A couple of days ago he went out at 4AM and was wandering around the complex' parking lot. We think a door chime system would be better at alerting our mother that our father is leaving the apartment. I envision something that would play a tune for…
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 2/12/22
THANK YOU, friends for your lovely messages to me. I value them greatly. Please accept my invitation to be a "connection" or "invite" me by clicking on VKB. I will enjoy interacting with you through these private messages. Hugs to all of you! * JESUS IS THE VINE GOD THOUGHT: John 15:5 NIV “I am the vine; you are the…
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MIL in MC advice
Hello, In September, my elderly FIL (who has cancer) moved in with us and my MIL moved into a MC 15 minutes away. I am hoping people can give me advice from experience. * My MIL obsesses over things, often (but not limited to) why can't they live together and they are not giving her the evening meds, and is constantly…
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Paranoia and hiding things
My mother lives with me. Just me and her. She has been diagnosed with dementia and also Primary Progressive Aphasia. I finally took some time away before Christmas., First time for myself in almost two years. My brother covered with care. Since then, she has been convinced that he stole stuff. (nothing is missing) There's…
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I think Mom does not recognize home anymore
I don’t know how to handle mom’s new behavior/decline. I think Mom is beginning to forget the rooms in our home. (This is the only home Mom, Dad and the entire family has known for over 40 years). Several months ago when mom was in the living room I told her dinner was ready and I proceeded to walk out the room, she said…
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what to expect(3)
We made the decision today to move Dad from AL to MC. It was a tough choice but we need to what's best for him. Just reaching out to see what we should expect as far as his behavior/reactions are going to be...help!
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Transportation to the doctor?
It is getting harder and harder to get my dad out of the house. I had to cancel his last appointment because - long story short - I couldn't get him to cooperate. He won't get up to walk, he won't speak to us, he stiffens his body so we can't pick him up, he will force his feet into the ground so we can't push his wheel…