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What to do about bad caretaker spouse
We know that some people are better at caretaking than others. I get that. What I don't understand is when they are pretty aware that caretaking isn't their thing, why won't they get help? And is there a way to convince them that the PWD NEEDS more help than can be given by the spouse. PWD is stage 4-5. Examples: 1)…
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Rest in Peace Mom
Wednesday afternoon Hospice told us that mom was non responsive and that they would be starting her on morphine that evening. Dad had spent an hour with her that morning and he said it just wasn't her laying there. He spent that entire hour just holding her hand and talking to her believing that although she wasn't…
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Skilled Nursing challenges for dementia patient
Mom passed away in June but this is an issue that needs addressing. I believe that Mom's "dementia" was mostly aphasia. She was not officially diagnosed. She could read out loud accurately but she couldn't string words together, on her own, to make a meaningful sentence. I believe our speech was probably garbled by her…
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stairs
Good morning, My dad was doing well getting up a full flight of stairs with minimal assistance for the past year. All of a sudden, he is just collapsing on the first or second stair. Is this sudden change in ability normal? Does anyone have suggestions for how we can help him? Should the focus be on trying to get him…
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New diagnosis. How much do we tell mom?
My mother was diagnosed with general dementia last month. After her diagnosis, her geriatrician spent 30 minutes on the phone with me, but I've thought of a million questions since then and we don't get to see him again for two months. The doctor never explicitly told her she has dementia, rather it seems to be our…
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Absolutely crazy week.
Friday - I drive 8 hours to Baton Rouge to help oldest son move home from a summer internship. Saturday - Packed apartment and drove home. Ate some amazing food. (Elsie’s Plate and Pie is amazing!) Yelled “PIVOT” and laughed a lot. Arrived home at midnight. Sunday - 8 year old started running a fever. 15 year old injured…
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Nursing Home Admittance Challenges - any ideas?
Hello, I am hoping someone can give me advice or tips regarding nursing home admittance My brother was diagnosed 4 years ago in his late 50s, and the doctor said he could not live alone any more. He never married, and has no kids, so overseeing his care falls on me. He started to develop incontinence after the 1st year of…
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Tips for Move to AL
Hi all, Mom is in stage 5 approaching stage 6 and after a couple of years of taking care of her - along with working full time and raising small kids - our family has identified a facility for her and we are moving her within the next couple of weeks. My questions are - what tips do you have for this transition? My biggest…
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OT- How can you mend a broken heart?
Not the song... forum mates this is off topic but there is such wisdom and experience here, I am seeking help on behalf of a non- PWD loved one. They asked me for any help or suggestions, so I’m turning to my go-to sources. Almost 30yr old is devastated and really struggling after engagement was called off out of the blue,…
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Caregiver Certification
I’ve heard of folks getting caregiver certification in order to assist with a LO in a Memory Care Facility. I would love to do this. My LO was placed in Memory Care about a month ago. I have to make an appt to see him and it’s only for a half hour a day Does anyone have any information about this? Thanks so much!
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help, decision to make(1)
Hey everyone, I am moving my father closer to me. Currently he is 3 hr and 40 minutes round trip from me. He is currently in AL but seems to be declining some. I'm not sure if he is bathing, brushing his teeth and when I was there a few days ago he hadn't shaved in a few days or more. The are quarantined to their rooms at…
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Leaving her be once in awhile
PWD (my mom) lives with me and my family. We remodeled our basement so that she has her own space (bedroom, full bathroom, living area with big tv, etc., lots of space!). You could argue it's even nicer than the rest of the house. If mom is left alone, she will just sit in her recliner and watch tv/listen to music all day.…
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LO with dementia refusing to go to doctors
My mother started having short-term memory loss 5 years ago. We were able to get her some testing 2 years ago, but at that time they felt she only had mild cognitive impairment and depression and otherwise would not give a diagnosis. My mom refused to go back for follow-up because she blamed them for her memory loss, and…
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moving my dad from MI to MN
I'm hoping someone has some advice about how to talk to my dad about moving him from Michigan to Minnesota. My dad is currently in assisted living in Michigan, where he and my family are from. When he was first diagnosed, he was living at home and became unable to care for himself. We didn't really understand what was…
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Continuing doctor's visits?
Hi All - I am new to this forum, but I've been reading through your posts and the advice has already been so helpful. Taking care of a LO with Alzheimer's is overwhelming. A little background... My mom is 76 and was diagnosed with Alz 4 years ago. I guess she's in the moderate stage now. She still is able to do most daily…
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Need Some Advice(4)
I tried to apply for Medicaid for my mama so she could receive long term care services and support (I mean, we get burned out and need help). Anyways, she got her denial letter today. They say she makes too much money by like $100 or something like that. So I want to appeal the decision. Has anyone done this before? I…
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Dealing Immediately with Aggression?
I understand my son with EO is far more complicated because he was born with congenital brain damage. BUT, surely there must be some people who have had to deal with occasional aggression? When I look online, I only see well-meaning articles about understanding the triggers and root causes of a tantrum. I get it that this…
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So Much Stress and Anger.... I am Struggling With Everything
Hello, I am new here and just need some support from others going through the same thing and options/help. My mother is 94 and her short term memory is gone but she is still pretty sharp with other things and about 5-6 years ago I started seeing changes in her as she lived alone, we lived 35 miles apart but she would come…
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Is it time to choose a nursing home?
I've about decided that I won't be able to be of help to Daddy Elf much longer. He has steadily been getting worse. Over the past 3 months he has lost bowel and bladder control. I'm deep scouring his bathroom and bedroom floor about every 3-4 days. He'll swear to me that he doesn't know who makes such a mess in the…
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Anxiety/Depression over hereditary Alzheimer’s
My mom has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and my brother and I are working to help her which is overwhelming in itself but I am also really struggling with anxiety and depression as it relates to the hereditary aspect of this disease. My mother, my grandmother and my great grandmother have all had Alzheimer’s and I feel…
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How to help mom eat?
My mom was dx with Alz 4 years ago. She's in the moderate stage now. She is 76 and lives at home with my dad who is 89. She is in relatively good health otherwise, but her weight has continued to decrease as she loses her ability to not only remember to eat but also how to prepare food or even find something to eat in the…
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Prepping Mom for move to MC
Hello all, We have found a MC facility that has space, gets good reviews and we can (sort of) afford. We hope to sign the contract in the next couple weeks and move mom in shortly thereafter. I have found it helpful when many of you shared your plans and experiences for the day of moving your LOs to a facility and we will…
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New stage, sleeping, and support for mom
Hi Everyone! I'm the only daughter of my mom, who's mid-stage Alzheimer's, possibly beginning the transition to late stage. Mom is in a nursing home for the past year. Prior to her entering last August, I lived with her and provided in-home care (with the support of local agencies - her daycare, companion caregivers, some…
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Lost it, feel terrible
I lost it on my sweet Mom today. The circumstance doesn't matter, its not her fault, she has advanced Alzheimers for goodness sake. I lost it, yelled at her and lost patience with her. I know I am exhausted, the constant shadowing and lack of break over the holiday weekend didn't help but there is no excuse. I know I have…
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Moving elderly Alzheimers patients across the country
My Dad and his wife (89 and 85) live in Virginia. I live in Tucson. My stepmother has Alzheimers and my father has serious short- and long-term memory issues, but hasn't been diagnosed with Alzheimers. They have lived in a wonderful memory care (stepmom)/assisted living (Dad) facility since 2017. I am their only living…
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Me again with the same topic- when you feel most family is against you
I'm ready to break. I do it all and do everything to make mom happy. No else can be bothered. Her dementia is worse every day and she thinks I am the problem (she lives with me). This is just a vent session for me as I was ready to explode and had to get it out.
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AL companion or aide
Has anyone hired a aide for their LO in AL? My step father is in AL and is high functioning Alz. but I feel he needs more. I do not want to put him in MC until I absolutely have to. I feel if I hired someone, who hopefully would be a friend of a friend or family, He/I would get a more dependable situation. He needs someone…
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Any other caregivers in Hampton Roads area
Sole caregiver to 83 year old mother Looking for other caregivers in the HR area to support each other, exchange information, ideas, ect. Let's connect!
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I Live 3000 miles away from parents
Hello,It seems that many of us are dealing with similar situations with our parents. I am not sure that mine is much different except that we live on opposite coasts. My parents are extreme homebodies and have never liked to go anywhere. I moved to the opposite end of the country almost 40 years ago for school and then…
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I feel guilty not wanting to care for my mom
I have so much fear having my mother come and live with me in December. Her Alzheimer’s is progressing and I’m having to take care of all bills, financials, dr appts, etc… I never imagined having to take care of my mom at 30 years old, as a single mom with twin little girls. Also at my moms tender age of 58. She is…