-
Guilt, Second-Guessing, as Long Distance (not primary) Caregiver
Only my second post here. I'm NOT the primary caregiver for my Dad as I live 3 hours away. My brother and SIL live 10 minutes from Dad's facility. Anyway, Dad was moved to MC about two weeks ago, after being in AL in the same facility for about 4 days (was going into other's rooms and using their restroom, eating their…
-
Change in POA
Hi, I've been the POA for HC and Finance for my 93 yr old mother who was diagnosed with Alz. almost 3 years ago. I needed to move her from her home in a nearby state to be near me while in MC. I had to change facilities twice to find one that provides adequate care which my mother can afford for a few more years. I have…
-
Simple Solutions using Duck Tape & a Rubber Band
DH just finished post hospital discharge occupational therapy (OT). One really helpful tip we learned and implemented was using colored contrasting tape on our steps, to help DH differentiate one step from another. I alternated red and neon yellow using Duck brand tape which seems textured enough. I have attached a…
-
alternative to cell phone?
My wife with mid-stage Alz enjoys walking our dog in the neighborhood. However, she sometimes gets lost if she takes an unfamiliar route. I have been adamant about her taking along her "pouch", which includes a flip phone and a GPS tracker. The GPS has been wonderful and gotten her out of trouble several times. However,…
-
What to DO! Help!
Met with Adult Protective Services lady yesterday at my dad's house. Thankfully she finds my dad capable of living in the house by himself for now. Problem I have is an ongoing family dispute with my sister who has done many things behind my back with my mother, she lives at my sisters without dad. It started in April 2021…
-
Duet
Watch /listen to Tony Bennett and Lady GaGa sing a song from their new album. This month Bennett is doing his last public performances in NYC. https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/youll-cry-watching-lady-gagas-164307334.html
-
WKS (Wernicke-Korsakoff Syndrome) Journey
I apologize in advance for the long, rambling post. My primary purpose is to vent but I know I will get support and I'm also hoping this aids others who are experiencing a similar life. My wife (we've been together 30 years, married 20) gradually increased her drinking (primarily beer) from being an occasional social…
-
Feeling Major Guilt
I'm sure I shouldn't, but feeling major guilt because I contacted Adult Protective Service and they are I'm meeting them at my dad's house today. After phone conversation yesterday, she did state there isn't going to be a choice that Guardianship will have to be established and dad moved out. I know my dad is going to…
-
Adamant about Not Moving
My parents live in different state from their kids. One was diagnosed with VD. No one has told us a stage. The other parent hasn't been diagnosed but clearly has cognitive issues. Both think nothing is wrong and they can continue living in their current home until they die. But that can't happen for their own safety. I…
-
To tell or not to tell(1)
I'm sure some of you were able to try and explain to LO they have dementia, if so, any tips. Also, my dad doesn't know it, but his doctor already did the paperwork to have his license remove; he has no business on the road anymore. I know if I try to tell him and why, it will be a major blow up since he keeps bringing up…
-
The struggle
I guess I am just writing so that someone else hears me on this, as I can see clearly that this is a supportive forum. My grandmother has VD and I'm very involved with her care. The process of trying to get her into MC is absolutely killing me. I am feeling guilty all the time not only about the fact that she needs to get…
-
How to combat LO's insistence on leaving every evening?
Hi all, This is my first post as I just discovered you today! My question: what wisdom/experience can you share to combat your LO's insistence on leaving every evening? Mom has only been doing this for 1-2 months now. I guess this is a "sundowner moment"? I've tried using logic (NOT recommended), changing the subject,…
-
Clothing Choices
DH is having some challenges with getting dressed especially with buttons, belts, underwear. Does anyone have suggestions where to buy clothing for easier self dressing. He is in the early stages of moderate stage of Alzheimers. Any thoughts would be appreciated.
-
Vaccination Mandate For NH Staff Under Fire and Debate
Nursing homes are beginning to see an upsurge in patients becoming positive for the COVID mutated Delta virus. This is seen even in patients who have been vaccinated. In several NHs fully, vaccinated patients have contracted the Delta virus and have died. The single place the exposure came from appears to be from…
-
Throw into the deep end!
This is a bit of a rambling rant with some questions maybe peppered in it. I previously did my first post about being concerned about moving my mother, who is 70 with dementia, and father who is 80 and mentally and physically fine. Since that post a moth or two ago, my brother and I decided we would fly to their home for…
-
Last Days?
Well, mom has been in an assisted living/memory care facility for four months and was put on Hospice three weeks ago. She is now refusing to eat and when they do get food in her mouth (liquified because she can't swallow well), she spits the food at them. Does this mean we are close to the end? How long can a body go…
-
Melatonin to help sleep
I was wondering if anyone has any experience in giving their LO Melatonin so they can get a more restful sleep. My 95 year old Grandma's who has dementia and has caregivers helping her, does experience sun-downing and some restlessness at night and this was something her physician suggested that might help her. I am open…
-
Mom didn’t know me
I’ve always known it would happen. There have been times when I wondered if she knew who I was, but wasn’t quite sure. Today she point blank asked me if we were related. I hugged her, kissed on the head and said yes. She was so excited to have discovered a connection, she asked me if “she” - my sister - knew we were…
-
New member/caring for my mom with memory loss
I just found this forum and have a feeling it's going to be very helpful for info and support! My mother (widowed) is 80 years old and was assessed by her doctor in 2019 with "severe short term memory loss". Her father had AD, but it progressed fairly quickly, compared to how her cognitive decline has slowly progressed the…
-
Lying to person with memory issues
I have always been open and truthful, so I find it morally distressing to lie, even though I know it is for the best. My never married aunt lived alone for 60 years in a 5 story walk-up apartment in big city far from me. My cousins & I are her remaining relatives. She had a fall on the street & ended up in nursing home…
-
diagnosis(5)
Hi, all - my mom was just diagnosed with Alzheimer's based on short-term memory loss and a questionnaire/quiz administered by her family doctor. Is this enough for a correct diagnosis?
-
Carousel Slidling Bath Bench - Easy To Use
Just saw this item; it sure does look much more user friendly than the "usual" bath bench that slides into a tub or shower that has a rise. It supports up to 330 pounds. While it appears to be really a good item, it is indeed pricey. The price does vary depending on the vendor. but it will be over $200. Yet . . . . . if…
-
I need to find a local counselor
Does anyone know if the 24/7 helpline can help me navigate to find an in person support group or counselor? I feel like I keep clicking links to no avail. My mom has alzheimers, and my dad as her primary caregiver is really suffering. I need to do something to help him right away. Thanks in advance. Donna
-
Question about assisted living facilities
I am asking about my 89 yo neighbor. She has had a couple of bad falls and wants to enter an assisted living facility. She is ambulatory but is afraid to walk without someone right by her for her to lean on. She refuses to use a walker. She has no dementia. Would an AL facility escort her personally to meals and wherever…
-
My Stepfather
He he is acute, instage. I don't know anymore because it's like pulling teeth to get his family to help my mother with their father's medical upkeep. Anyway, my stepdad usually is in a good way. But lately, he has been baggering my mother critizing her in home work ethic and saying that he's fine he's in good shape, but my…
-
New phase of journey after father's fall
Hi, My dad fell at home last Sunday. He was not injured but they have kept him in observation. It's been deemed he's an unsafe discharge as My mom feels she cant take care of him at home any longer due to his anxiety and depression and need for attention or his perseveration on needing his oxygen checked frequently and…
-
How fast is this disease
On Monday July 19 my LO walked from a parking garage into a hospital for his 6-month check up with his Dr. On Thursday July 22 his knees buckled under him and he's been in a wheelchair since that day. He was running a slight fever and retaining urine, so, we took him to ER to check for infection on Friday July 23 and after…
-
What is this vagueness from care givers?
Hello all, My mom is really perky now when I call her. This has never been her trademark, I don't recognize this animation, she has never been like this. It's like being in a fun house with mirrors. Who is my mom now? I asked the staff if she was put on meds for her depression, and they said no. It's very frustrating being…
-
Waking EVERY DAY with pain and yelling
Anyone else experience this with their LO? It's about an hour to 90 minutes daily to get my EO son up for the day. He instantly starts yelling and raging the moment I give his meds. I get a straw to his lips while he is still pretending to sleep, then comes the dose cup of meds and he immediately takes them and swallows.…
-
At Home Care - How to Find?
How do I find at-home care for my parents? One has VD and the other hasn't been formally diagnosed but definitely has cognitive issues.I live a few states away and it makes me uneasy to hire someone and not be there to oversee. Not to mention that my parents don't think they need any help and don't want strangers in their…