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Extreme guilt and anxiety
My DH has declined in the last few days. My son is taking me to my first Ravens football game tonight for my birthday. This is something that has been on my bucket list but I had always thought we would go as a family, which of course cannot happen. I am so torn and feeling guilty about leaving him to go do something fun.…
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New to this board(5)
Hello and an introduction. I'm Gary and my wife is Michele. I'm 72 and Michele is 66. She was diagnosed with ALZ 3 years ago after having an MRI . Before that was progressive dementia for about two years. It's now progressing noticeably from month to month. With our last visit, a few weeks ago with her Neurologist I was…
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When is it time for a MC facility?
Hi everyone. I’ve posted a couple of times and have gotten some amazing advice and feedback so here I am again. For those who have a loved one in a MC facility, how did you know it was time? I’m 95% certain it’s time for my mom to be in one. The proverbial last strawberry happened earlier this week when my mom physically…
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Someone asked me to give them information that would help caregivers for an article. So, I wrote the
I will give you a bunch of bullet points and if interested we can speak about the ones you would like to know about so you can write the article. You must be come a detective if you want to become a good caregiver. Need to learn to think outside the box Expect the worse of thinks and if you are surprised you did not…
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Finding meaning
Taken from Daily Comforts for caregivers by Pat Samples and reading for October 10: “I wonder why I’ve ended up as a caregiver. It seems so strange. This is not what I had planned for my life. It has demanded far more of me than I ever imagined I could endure. Why is this happening? I know there are no easy answers to this…
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Taking care of selfish older sibling
I wonder if my situation might be more rare in that it’s my older sister who has dementia and I’m the youngest. She never married or had children and our brother won’t take her in, so I’m it. Me and my husband, that is. I’ve read some people’s comments on here about how their loved one has fairly severe memory issues but…
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attorneys and such
Hi. It has been awhile since I've posted. I've been working to file for guardianship for my father. I have a CELA attorney that I'm working with and looks like we should be able to file within the next week. My question is this: back in June I found out my stepmother was attempting to have my father sign another dpoa after…
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Eating out questions and concerns
Hi! I am looking for some advice. As a family we often eat out my mom has not been able to cook without help for awhile and this is easier for us. My mom often gets very frustrated at restaurants. She will often even yell at staff if she doesn’t like anything. My mom has always been a very aggressive in her life but it has…
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Living in Caregiver Bubble
The role of full-time, solo caregiver is taxing. As mom ages and cognitive functioning declines I feel that I am being pulled deeper into the bubble. Daily interactions with doctors, visiting home health professionals, insurance companies, and pharmacies is like taking your work home with you (I'm living at my job). Hard…
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Adult child seeking advice
My Mom aged 84 has Alzheimer's, is still living at home with my Dad who's 82. She still knows us (so grateful) but is incontinent and sleeps most of the day. My Dad basically does everything but he needs help so we have a home care agency in twice a week for help with laundry, meals, etc. I think we need nursing in the…
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I don’t want to lose my mom
Hi… I am new here as my mom was just diagnosed with Alzheimer’s last week. My family and I knew this was a possibility but now it feels real. I am only 23 and this diagnosed has destroyed me. I fear the moment my mom doesn’t remember who I am and cry daily thinking about it. I also feel like an absolutely horrible daughter…
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The freaking walker!
My loved one needs her walker! She uses it 1/2 the time. The rest of the time she reels around reaching for things to hold on to. I go get the walker and give it to her to use. It makes me crazy! If this were any other crazy-making thing in my life I would let it go. I’m that type of person. I can let things go if I need…
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Caregiver Selfcare
Hello! I would love a small piece of advice. As I've mentioned on here before, I am a caregiver for my Grandfather with ES AD, nothing too advanced yet, so I'm not really a full time caregiver yet, but I do manage medications, I help with laundry, do the driving, and help with cooking and cleaning. My biggest problem I've…
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Sudden increase in confusion and UTI
Had a wonder vacation with my mom and upon arriving at her house she told me I was at the wrong house and then corrected herself and realized that she was home. She was thinking that she lived in her prior (30 yrs ago) house which is three blocks away. The next day she awakes early and is crying non-stop. She wants to go…
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Advice needed about moving parents in with family
My 83yo mother with dementia and 88 yo father, physically challenged and in a w/c are at the point they need to move in with family. My mother was the primary caregiver for my father, cooking, med setup, cleaning, driving etc. That was before her memory declined to the point she repeats her self every few minutes and can…
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Research break through - Fatty acids
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When do you stop pointing out to someone their memory issues
When someone is starting to become forgetful I think it's natural to point it out to them. For example, "I just told you that yesterday". When dementia is involved when do you stop mentioning it? Not that I'm mentioning it to be rude like my teenager often does with me but to try and convince my LO it's time to stop…
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Medicine
I've noticed daddy chews his medicine tablets now instead of swallowing them whole. There are some medicines that should not be chewed so I'm checking into that. Has anyone else run into a situation like that? It's a battle to get him to take his meds sometimes and I have to watch that he actually takes them or he puts…
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LO falling in love with their caregiver?
Hi all, (new here) Has anyone had experience with their LO (parent) falling for their caregiver? I've read this is not uncommon and it makes sense, but I'm not sure how to handle the situation. His wife is still alive but due to her own health issues and MCI/early dementia, really hasn't had the initiative to spend time…
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TMI but need help- (genital issue)
Tuesday afternoon In our 1x daily standoff over changing his wet depends, I noticed a difference in DH’s most sensitive body part. The skin was almost covering the tip, looking almost uncircumcised, but he IS circumcised. There was some swelling and he said it didn’t hurt, but then that it did. He eventually let me rinse…
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Extreme Paranoia(1)
My father was very recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. I’ve suspected that he’s had some sort of dementia for about six months or so now, but things had gotten so much worse in just the past few months. My husband and I live with my parents. We have for the past eight years and I’ve been their primary caretaker.…
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The Move.
Hello Everyone - This is my first post on the forum after reading many of the posts here over the prior three months - so many have been incredibly helpful to me and my DH as we navigate discussions with his Mom who was formally diagnosed this spring. While she is amenable to moving to be closer to us (she was 'honored'…
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Scared this is getting closer to the end
Hello all. I am struggling with wondering if my LO (diagnosis is vascular dementia) is nearing the end. They have dementia and are struggling. Some would say that the light has gone out in her, even in the last few weeks. She wants to sleep all the time. But she is still eating (less), drinking, going to the restroom with…
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Facility tours: What questions to ask?
I am touring facilities this weekend for my mom with EO. What are some important things to consider, what questions should I be asking the facility, and what are some things I should be looking for on the tours? Thanks!
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How to explain
My sister and me have both filed for my dad's guardianship. I am my dad's primary caregiver and go to his house almost daily while sister may show up at best once a week and for an hour. My issues are my dad repeatedly complains he's not mobile and needs a car. Without going into the Big story, his doctor signed paperwork…
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Depressed
I hope no one minds me confiding here. I know this is all part of the disease, but I find it incredibly hard to let the mean things my Grandfather says roll off my back. I know he doesn't mean them, however I find it hard to just let them go. They tend to feed into my depression, try as I might not to let them, and that in…
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Finding out who your real friends are
I'm sure this has been covered on the board already but it's interesting (although very sad) to see how a number of our friends have slowly separated themselves from us because of my DW's AD. Unfortunately some of her friends aren't qualified to deal with her disease. Some however, remain steadfast. What's been your…
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Update on dysfunctional parents
First let me say thank you to all the posters here who support me and give me great advice. I’ve taken it to heart and I’m working toward implementing it as best I can. Updates since my last post: I asked my step-dads doctor to please run some more tests on him to try to find a medical reason for his behavior. They finally…
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I think we’ve found help!
So after a rough few weeks I quit being a very nice person. I am usually a VERY nice person to my family. We’ve interviewed a caregiver who will work 3 days a week. I will be able to do laundry, clean the house, go to the grocery store during the day instead of at 6am or 9 pm, pick the kids up from school if they stay…
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My brother is coming to visit
My brother is coming. He still works in the health care field and is active with his friends, as much as possible during these Covid days. Actually his trip is to visit friends of his, and he is extending his trip a few days to visit with me. Although he knows of my diagnosis of cognitive impairment, which is nebulous to…