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Wanting to leave the house
hello. My dad has dementia and his symptoms have been progressing the past 3 months. He is waking up in the morning wanting to get dressed and leave the house to go to work even though he no longer works. My mother is the caregiver and lives with him and when she tries to stop him from leaving he gets very nasty and can be…
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ALZ, a time to laugh or chuckle, a time to cry
Just sharing a weird thing… DH in ES ALZ…We went to church and sitting in our usual aisle seat. ( I am immuno defecient so always try not to be between people). Some people wanted to be seated down the pew, so I bent my knees to the side to let them pass and DH flopped his legs up on the pew to let them pass. Yes, it's a…
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Memory Care, Early Retirement, or Keep Pushing On?
Hi Friends, it's been a while. For all the exhausted caregivers out there who are also still working to put food on the table, how many times a month (or a day) do you wrestle with this multiple-choice test? Should I give up and place my dear wife in memory care, so I have the energy to continue working? (Sacrifice $$ for…
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Figuring out my plan D
After spending the summer in several Geri-psych units, my DH is back at his memory care. He’s been on Seroquel and Risperidone, and is currently on Zyprexa. A week ago, Depakote was added. But the aggressive incidents continue. I’m concerned that his memory care placement is endangered. He is physically in good shape, so…
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Is palliative care a good option for someone with dementia?
My wife is in AL, recently moved from MC. She was aggressive and refused medication or seeing a doctor. I'm hoping to bring her home in a month, she is doing well on the meds in the facility. Is palliative care a good option?
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A few days ago things were manageable, but then the wheels fell off
My DH has had Lewy Body dementia for 4 years now. He is 85, I'm 75. Up until just recently, we've been doing pretty well. I was even able to leave him at home alone while I work (just 3-4 hours a day in the morning). A few days ago, it was like someone pulled a switch. He has always been very verbal, but now won't stop…
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Anger - not new but becoming absolutely untenable...
Fair warning: This is just a ramble and not particularly well written but I am desperate. My husband is hovering somewhere between the late early and early middle stage of Alzheimer's I'm guessing. I've seen everything from 3 to 7 stages or more of this agonizing disease and, frankly, I'm not sure the stage matters as…
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Uncomfortable with my feelings toward my LO
Hi fellow warriors, First I’d like to say that I know there is no answer to my situation but I need to at least vent. I am absolutely going crazy, which turns into self-loathing because I am not handling my situation at all well. I am deeply, deeply depressed. My DH and I have been on this journey for 7 years now. It’s…
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did I do the right thing placing him in MC
My husband was placed on a MC unit due to aggression. After two weeks he looks and sounds great. All he says is he wants to go home, part of me wants to take him home. It would save so much heartache and money, but I know it will all just start over again. He can't control it, can he. Should I bring him home. He's been…
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Delta-9 for aggression?
Has anyone had any luck with any type of cannibus dosing to help with agression. DH has FTD, and is in memory care. I'm afraid they will not allow him to stay if they can't get his defensiveness and agression under control. He's perfectly fine unless you try and make him do anything he doesn't want to do, i.e., shower,…
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Getting rid of stuff
DH still in the clearing out stuff stage. But now he has gotten to the point where he throws stuff away. He threw everything in our freezer in the basement away. Which wasn't much but… Now he wants me to get rid of blankets and towels. He thinks we have to many. Lol . I'm afraid I'm going to come home and find I have…
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Nightmare Experience
My DH, who has Parkinson's dementia and is totally disabled, started to deteriorate rapidly last week. He needs a tremendous amount of hands on care. He was becoming more agitated having paranoid delusions, and tried to leave the AL/MC facility. I had him evaluated for Hospice and he was admitted, and they left orders for…
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Advice needed
Hello, my husband has vascular dementia and is constantly ordering and demanding. hes constantly nagging me to do what he wants. immediately. i need to shorten his jeans so nagged again until i do them. i make sure the house is clean for him and he always has clean clothes. always got what he needs and wants. he explodes…
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alz...the disease that is full of surprises
DH, diagnosed in June with ES. I've done enough reading that I really shouldn't be surprised by anything but…He has had short term memory loss for a number of years but when I finally woke to the fact of his misuse of words was beyond normal, we got him checked. ES is supposed to have short term memory loss. I get it. But,…
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Memory Care to Skilled nursing journey
My DH had a fall 3 weeks ago at his MCF and they transported him to the hospital. I didn't want him to go because I knew most likely he wouldn't be able to return to the memory care unit. I know how these things work. Well, they've said he is not going to be able to come back there. So I'm looking at skilled nursing now. I…
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Reflections and a new lease on life
Here I am almost seventy year’s old, living in a new state, with my husband residing in a memory care facility, our grandchildren busy in elementary school, and our kids working full time. It’s not been easy to make friends in this new locale as a senior. I’m lonely living alone. Since I’ve been swimming laps for two…
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TSA UGH! Airport Experience
I need to vent! DH with ALZ and I just got back from California visiting family. I expected some increased challenges due to travel but did not anticipate this one. DH was pulled out of line for “pat down.” search in San Francisco International Airport. I tried to tell them he might need me close by to help communicate…
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Clothing
Hello, can anyone suggest a source for clothing that's easy to put on/take off? Especially the take off part. This morning I had to literally cut the back of his sweatshirt open with scissors. He's always cold and wears long sleeves but they are too hard to get off. Thanks for any advice!
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Redirection on Delusions
Hello my heroic, supportive, and likely exhausted friends. DWs waving at the people on tv has gone from sad/but kinda cute, to just sad. She now thinks they are waving to her and sometimes coming out of the tv into our house. I've found her hiding in the pantry from them yesterday. She also really thinks there are people…
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Irritating new popup-am I the only one?
some setting has been changed this morning so that unless I “accept all cookies” there’s a pop up with every thread. Anyone else seeing this? It won’t accept anything less than “all cookies…”
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Power of Attorney
I am my DH POA. We have a joint account at our bank. He is newly diagnosed for Alzheimer's a few months ago. He and I both have a debit card. He is still driving, and goes to Walmart frequently sometimes 2-3 times a day buying over the counter medications for cough sinus bandages, tools, etc. whatever he thinks he needs.…
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One of my biggest concerns
I am concerned about having to get medicaid for my husband in the future for help with caregiving Having to meet there spend downs and leaving me in bad financial situation for my life after. I have researched it all. I know that is just the way it is. So my only plan to avoid is to keep him home until the end. Which I…
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Really disheartening first experience with hospice
Yesterday, I asked DH’s doctor at memory care if it was time for a hospice evaluation. DH has been there less than three weeks, but those of you who have been following our story may recall that since his first hospitalization Aug. 14, he has lost, by my estimate, 20-30 pounds. He pretty much stopped eating four days into…
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legal issues
people say to get power of attorney, but because of his dementia he, my husband, can't hand it over to me. I've talked to several lawyers, and they say no. The only way to get custodianship is to take him to court in front of everyone he knows, it's a small town, and have him deemed incompetent. I can't do that to him. So,…
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eating too much
DH in ES ALZ, has lately started eating everything put in front of him. Six months ago, if I served him a large steak, he would eat his fill then save the rest of it. Lately, he eats the whole thing in addition to sides. Yesterday, I made chicken salad, enough for 3-4 lunches. He ate the whole thing for lunch, in addition…
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fists and toes clenched
My DH has been home with me for two months after being in memory care for six months. He has started clenching his fists and toes, and he is amazingly strong. He will hold on to blankets when we are trying to get him out of bed, and it takes two of us to get his hands free. Does anyone else have this problem or a solution…
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10 Absolutes in Dementia Care
Shared by another member here - Thanks Chug! Here is one you can download or print:
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how to have a discussion
My husband gets $75 every 2 weeks for groceries from rent we take in. I was helping him get groceries to last that time and he was doing good. then I stopped checking because I thought he got it, he didn't. if he didn't get meals on wheels he would be in trouble. so, I got advice to make meals ahead of time and freeze…
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Help!
I DH has been in the hospital 3 weeks due to COVID and pneumonia. He has recovered medically, but the COVID has advanced the Alz and they are keeping him to get his agitation under control. His agitation has greatly improved but now he just wants to go home. It is all I hear when I visit and he is constantly badgering the…
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Vasovagal Syncope
My wife has stage 4, early 5 Alzheimer's. She's had 3 fainting spells in the last 3 months. Bloodwork, MRI's, Echocardiograms, Holter monitors, medication changes have found no cause. The most recent ER doctor theorized that it's vasovagal syncope brought on by her damaged brain trying to deal with the stress and confusion…