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How and when should I tell my DH I am placing him in MC
Thanks to encouragement from people on this forum, I have decided to put my DH in a Adult Family Home dedicated to memory care. A bed will open up in about one month. I can't decide when to tell him he will be living somewhere away from me. If I tell him the day before placement, I am afraid he will refuse to get in the…
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Dementia
Dementia... a word I have come to loathe. It has been horrible to watch my talented, brilliant husband experience the horrors of this horrendous disease. Being aware of what Alzheimer's or likely Lewy Bodies stole on a daily basis was so difficult and sad to observe. Medically the support we received was to treat the…
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If it seems like a cold
Hi my bf 45yo eoa has been having a cough. Yesterday he had a fever, cough and I can hear junk in his chest. His voice is hoarse too. To me it seems like a chest cold. With his eoa do I need to be overly cautious when he gets sick like this? Which is rare. I ask him if he feels fine and he says yes. I tried to take his…
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To those with LO in memory care
My wife has been in memory care for about 9 months. She had a stroke 10 months ago. Our marriage has not been close for a long time, but she doesn't remember what our problems were. I would like to know how others are dealing with their spouses being in memory care. I feel kind of trapped. I can never go back and don't…
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What now!!
Well today’s events knocked me for a loop. My DW became very anxious and kept saying that she wanted to go home. I tried to comfort her and tell her that she was already home. Of course she didn’t agree. She told me she was going to take a walk which she has done occasionally by herself. Never had a problem before. After…
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Care documents
I tried enrolling my DW in day care a couple of days a week. After all paperwork was completed and just a couple of days before she was to begin, her enrollment was denied due to possible fecal incontinence. (The facility did not have a shower). This information is being mentioned because of things I may have subsequently…
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The Laugh & Cry Moment of the Day
Ok, just venting here, but…DH leaked a bit into the multiple pairs of pants he wears (still trying to find some sort of disposables he will tolerate). He didn't say anything; I found them over on the air purifier and threw them into the laundry. This happens frequently, no big deal. I then asked if he would wash himself…
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Treatment for AD with Lecanemab injections
Has anyone undergone treatment for AD with Lecanemab injections which are given via infusions every 2 weeks? If so, I'd like to know how it's going, the length of time the treatment has been going on, and the efficacy of it. Do you see any improvement in cognition and memory? Has cognition and memory remained about the…
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What to do in emergency!!
I asked my wife if I collapse and was unresponsive what would you do. She had no idea who to call I told her 911, 15 min later I asked her again had no idea. This does worry me as shit happens. Has issues using phone. ANY IDEAS
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tracking watches
Does anyone have experience of tracking watches? My husband can get slightly lost when driving so I would like to get ahead of the game. We are not terribly well off so am looking for something simple but effective.
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Sold my DO car
well… I finally figured out how to stop my DO from driving, I sold our other car. He always drove the jeep and now only “my” car is left. I told him I’m the primary driver so he can’t drive. So far it’s worked! Desperate times call for desperate measures, I feel so much safer. He tells me I don’t trust his driving anymore!…
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Burnout
Well…I sure have it. I don't know how so many of you have been able to manage caregiving and working. I finally got some day caregiving in place, but a bit too late for my own mental health. I'm not physically having issues, but I just cannot get myself up and out of the sad, crying all the time, agitated and worn out hole…
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Quote for today…..
My life is a fairy tale but I now know the author was German.
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How many caregivers are keeping their spouses at home until the nightmare ends?
I’m absolutely determined to see my DH through this nightmare. I am determined to keep him home until the end. Are there others out there that are doing this and have you managed to keep your sanity through it? My husband is in stage late 4/early 5. He’s always been extremely calm, kind, gentle, helpful, loving. I just…
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Does your spouse resent that you put him/her into Memory Care?
How common is it that a person entered into Memory Care against their will resents and refuses to let their spouse to visit them? My concern is that she no longer wants to see me after I put her in memory care. Background: My DW has a moderate to advanced level of Dementia. She is in denial there is a problem. She already…
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How can I stop his lectures...he is driving me crazy!
My HWD has always gone on and on about things and lectured for hours if he could get away with it…people would actually ask me if he has an 'off button'. Now, with alz, he is unbearable. After 2 relatively normal days…no major meltdowns anyway…he has had 2 days of constant ranting, raving and lecturing…for 5 and 6 hrs at a…
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Should I take DH to out of state wedding?
Our grandson’s wedding is planned for late March out of state and I’m struggling with whether or not to attempt the trip. Our choice is a 5 hour drive or flying (direct, non-stop). DH is wheelchair bound, incontinent and has major balance issues. He’s in moderate (maybe late stage 5) range. He recognizes family members, is…
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Hold it all in and Boom along comes red licorice
It was the red licorice fight. My DH ate all of my red licorice. So rude! Not just any red licorice, but the bag my son gave me for Christmas. It was a leftover childhood memory of his to relive. I was shocked it was gone, and more so, i felt disrespected. A string had been crossed. “I couldn’t control myself,” my DH…
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Hungry!
For the past few weeks, DH has been hungry. All. The. Time. After he finishes a meal, he’s asking what else can he have. He’s wanting to snack incessantly, even in the middle of the night if he wakes up to use the bathroom. In 2024, he lost a lot of boatload of weight not wanting to eat. Now he’s gained 10 lbs since the…
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Way to long and now he is gone
Hello all, it has been way to long since I have posted or even been on this site. It was just too hard. I enrolled my DH into hospice the end of Sept. basically because of dramatic weight loss. He went from 175lbs in April to 145lbs in Sept. They have a hospice respice center with 10 beds where you loved ones can go for 5…
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hello I am new to the group
I am asking for help for anyone who would know how I could go about this. My husband has been diagnosed for 6 years but was in a fog for 3 years before that before we go the diagnosis. He is moderate to severe state, cannot drive, dress himself, walks with walker and not good at that, has trouble with speech. He was a…
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Touring memory care - Plan B
I visited two memory care places and it is difficult for me to think about placing my DH. Both places stressed that no one is ever ready to place their love one. Just don’t wait too long before he has declined to the point where he will not be accepted. Not sure what stage that would be. My.DH can still care for himself,…
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Xmas decorations everywhere...
Just need to vent - my DH was diagnosed recently with MCI although I believe that he is further along and we will be getting further evaluation. In the meantime, I am really struggling with his "organization" skills and insistence that he does not need help. DH has always taken great pride each year in setting up full size…
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Expectations of Employed Caregivers
My wife is stage 5-6 AD and at home. She is mobile, can communicate, although usually not correctly, still uses utensils to eat, is not incontinent, enjoys social time with others (not so much with me but that is not unexpected), exhibits confusion, anxiety and agitation. Medication has helped with the agitation and…
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Sad caregiver
I am sure blue. I work so hard to stay cheerful, keep my spouse occupied and happy. I can never meet his needs, I am always a step behind.
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Delusions or Dreams
I'm not sure if what my DH is having are delusions or something else. The episodes seem to occur after sleep or a nap. I think that he is having very vivid dreams and when he wakes up instead of realizing that he has had a dream he incorporates the dream into his waking stage. For instance the other morning he woke up…
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Televising Without Sound
My DH will sit by the hour and watch television without the sound turned on. Has anyone else had this experience?
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Me, I am living with it!
Anybody that has ES and is talking about it, instead of me hearing what we are putting people through. Hearing it through a care givers lens is depressing. I am struggling with how to process it myself. Thanks Anybody ES age 53?
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I’m angry and resentful!
The past few weeks I have been angry! I’m angry at my husband for having a disease he didn’t ask for I’m angry at myself for losing it and being frustrated and thinking I have a handle on things and realizing I don’t! I’ve been very short tempered and sad. Both of which I’m not!Our marriage has been one where he was never…
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God’s promises
My SIL sent me this and I thought I’d share it. I especially liked the thoughts in the first paragraph. I hope the picture is readable.