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Emotional Breakdown This Morning
I don’t know why I’m posting this, maybe just to acknowledge my emotions and share a positive. I’ve had contractors working on our home and property for 2 weeks. This morning they needed materials out of our garage. The garage is a train wreck. My husband’s son was going to help me clean it out but decided instead he’d…
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Not Recognizing Family Members
Any advice would be appreciated. We are only 1 1/2 yrs into this (I think] still no diagnosis. My DH has been suffering with memory loss, trouble finding foods and difficulty recognizing objects. It come and goes, some days better than others. Yesterday at our grandson’s high school graduation party he didn’t know ho our…
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So Frustrating
This is one part of this terrible disease that just frustrates me so much. How can you have a great day with your LO in a great mood enjoying each other and all of a sudden they just start crying uncontrollably for no reason in my mind what may have caused the change.
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Facing the Emotional Side of Caregiving
This website has helped me deal with some of my feelings, and to be kind to myself when doing so. I hope it helps you, too! https://www.caregiver.org/resource/emotional-side-caregiving "If you don’t deal with ALL of your emotions, they can be like a two-year-old who wants your attention: they will keep tugging at you until…
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How to deal with denial
My DH is probably in stage 5 or 6 Alzheimer's. Ever since the diagnosis was made (about 4 years ago) he has adamantly denied that there is anything wrong with him. He now freely admits that his memory is not good, but if I say or do anything that makes him aware that I am "caregiving" he says that I am treating him as if…
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Life is getting harder...
Life is getting harder and DH isn't as far along as many of yours. I should have known better but we went to Costco together today. DH uses a scooter cart and follows me. Today was just so much harder. He had to use the restroom and barely made it through checkout but he made it. I took groceries to the car and then picked…
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Unprepared
With every decline, I feel so unprepared. I know what is coming, and yet each decline surprises me and breaks my heart. DH was accepted for hospice at home in September. I didn’t think he would qualify because he was still speaking and eating, not losing weight, able to swallow. But he was non-ambulatory. Yesterday he was…
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My DH passed away this morning...
After 8 long days of watching and waiting, my DH passed away this morning. I am so thankful that his suffering is over, but I can't imagine life without him. I was there when he passed, and it means a lot to me to know that he wasn't alone. I will pray for him and for all of you who are navigating this terrible disease.…
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Is There An Organization That Rates Home Care Agencies
Hello. I am starting to consider my home care options. My husband was diagnosed with early stage Alzheimers last month. Like many people, I want to be able to keep him home for as long as possible but I also know that I will be needing help sometime in the future. I was at an Alzheimer's Support Group recently and another…
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Forward Planning
My wife is in her 8th year of diagnosis and lately has been slipping more and more. At some point, she will need more care than I can give, first in-home and then who knows? I will need to sell our house, which also involves getting rid of both valuable and kitschy possessions gathered over the last half century. How have…
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Affording help or MC
I have always thought I could never afford to pay out of pocket for in home help or even have memory care as an option. We are not wealthy but we have too much to qualify for Medicaid but not enough to pay out of pocket. It is extremely important to talk to an elder care attorney early on in the process. Many people…
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Counseling for Mom
Hello all, I am trying to find Counseling for my mom who is now caring for my dad who has Alz. They are both in assisted living because she would not send him without her. She is depressed and would like to see a Counselor. I am having a hard time finding a Counselor that specializes in Aging/Caregiver support that I may…
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Out of state “friends” hardly there and know everything
I am so exhausted as most here are. I need a moment to vent some frustrations. Why is it family and friends from out of state feel the need to input opinions after little to no contact except maybe a 15 minute phone conversation every 4-6 months. One has little to no knowledge of disease progression let alone what has…
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Incontinence
My dad has become completely incontinent as far as urinating. He soaks the bed he sleeps in with my mom and she is completely fed up...she and the assisted living staff have to change the bedding every day. He soaks all the blankets and now we need to replace the mattress (although we have a mattress protector on the…
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New Youtube Videos -Medications / Depression
I just watched a new youtube video "Ask Dr. Tam Questions with Tam Cummings PhD" from Jan 7 and she provides information for some of the "should I or shouldn't I" questions about continuing meds for dementia for anyone who is interested. It's a little over an hour. Linked below.…
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Another decision to make with surgery
My DH had knee replacement and is recovered. I am glad he had it done, but I do see a decline since surgery. He has less interests now. We did puzzling often and now he sits and watches me, or follows me around all day. Sits more. Three years after cataract surgery a growth started on the eyelid. Biopsy were negative. We…
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Showering
I’ve been trying to get my dh to take a shower for almost two weeks now. When asked if he wants a shower he’s usually agreeable, I wash his back and then he is able to wash himself, however, this past couple of weeks he has either refused to shower, or as soon as he’s ready to enter the shower he gets irritated and then…
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What would they do in a different country?
I always hear that healthcare is better in other countries, so I'm wondering what a better healthcare system would do in this situation. My husband was in the hospital for 4 weeks for ulcerative colitis and complications. His colon got better, so he was discharged home. He is malnourished (still won't eat well), has…
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Crashing
Oh hey all. It's me…crashing hard again. I wish I had the strength that so many of you show, but I'm just exhausted and so heartbroken. The holidays were rough…trying to get her medication mixture together to slow the constant motion and get her some sleep at night. I have the sleep part tamed for now, but it seems her…
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DH is now at peace
I lost my DH of 38 years today. I was visiting him at MC as I did every day, and he was a little more aware of me and walking a little better than he has been of late so we were having a good visit. Gave me a kiss, responded “I love you too” when I told him I loved him. The nurse saw him walking with me and stopped to tell…
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Resentful and guilty
Hi all, I'm a newbie here. I cared for my dad when he had dementia and "lucky" for me he was a sweet warm wonderful person who always knew his family right til the end (died from other than alzheimers). My husband now has dementia, and he is not sweet, warm or wonderful. He has never admitted to a problem, refuses to…
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STAGE 8 - There is no other side of grief...
My soulmate husband Lonny passed August 12. I feel lost most of the time but am trying to find myself without him. Found this on a Facebook post today. So true. I had my own notion of grief. I thought it was the sad time, that followed the death of someone you love. And you had to push through it to get to the other side.…
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Parent losing a lot of weight
Hi, My 87 year old LO has vascular dementia, and she is only eating 30% of her food. She has lost 20 pounds 5' 7" 110 lbs. She was at the dentist recently, so her teeth are not bugging her. She is verbal, repeats herself, she can still play cards, the doctor said she is in the middle to late stage of dementia. It is a…
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Convince me
Convince me that I should let a stranger (social worker) in the intimacy of my home. Convince me that I should tolerate this invasion of my privacy. Convince me that I should go through another interrogatory that invades my life. Convince me that I will not be infuriated by all these questions that could imply that I’m not…
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How to handle being accused of not sharing information
Hi Everyone, What a start to the new year. I'm seeing signs of progression in my DH, diagnosed over a year ago with Alz. I saw signs about 3 years prior to that. I believe he's at the early stage 5. He used to accuse me of not sharing information with him, but it wasn't very often and I would just apologize and say I must…
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Where do you go for socialization?
I am thinking it would be helpful for DH and me to do more than just the normal day-to-day. We could benefit from playing cards, or a Bible study, or ping-pong. Our church is full of people who are older than we are, and not really interested in socializing. I do think we could find purpose in volunteering to help at the…
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Anyone RV Camping?
Here’s the thing. Right now DH with ALZ has short term memory loss and needs detailed instructions to do tasks. But he actually is functioning pretty well. We love camping and I have been trying to decide if we should just go for it and see how it goes. We desperately need to put fun into our lives while we still can. I…
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Putting sleep issues to bed
I see a lot of discussions out there about sleep or lack thereof. If meds like Seroquel or lorazepam or whatever isn’t quite working I suggest you ask about trying temazepam. It comes in 15 and 30mg doses. I’ve been using the 30mg for DW now for a couple of months and it hasn’t let me down. At first she woke up pretty…
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A big Ouchy for New Year’s Eve
First, Happy New Year. After being in the kitchen all day cooking up a storm, I spilled a pot of boiling water on my arm and foot. My skin started disintegrating before my eyes. So so scary. As I’m screaming in pain DH starts hitting me in the head. Thankfully my phone was near and had to call 911. It was an unbelievable…
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Constant Motion
My DW has moved from sundowners to near constant motion. The last two months have really been something. I'm not sure she had more than 5 hours sleep most nights, sometimes going over 24 hours without sleep and no loss in movement energy. Earlier she was much more agitated and then it shifted to general aimless wandering.…