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APS
Today a very nice lady showed up at our door, Adult Protective Services 🙄I knew they were called because my LO drove the car . He took the DMV test, they passed him, much to my dismay, and I sold his car but he wants to drive if it’s just down the street! I’m a hard No, he took her test and got 25 out of 30. Mild cognitive…
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New Member
Hi Everyone! My name is Laurie and my mom is 78 just diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s. She was a nurse for 50 years and I had been noticing that about 5 years ago it was Xmas day and the whole family was together. I remember her sitting down and watching her grandchildren open gifts and she had that far away look in…
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We can do this!
I know some professional caregivers who say that if they had to do this without time off or vacation time, they would go insane. Yet we who do it 24 hours a day, seven days a week without help or respite, can go on this way for years and years. While watching someone we love deteriorate physically and mentally day by day.…
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This is so damn hard
Sigh. My poor DW. She so much wants to tell me things and express her thoughts and she just cannot say it. Seeing her struggle and trying so hard is just killing me right now. I know it's not rational, but I wish that I could make it all better. Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamnit!
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The state investigated last week's incident and says my DH has to move...help
In my last post I told how DH had groped a female resident at his MC. Now the state has stepped in and says he can no longer stay there. The social said she told them they were willing to keep him and wanted to keep him but the state is adament. When I asked her how long we had to find another facility, she said she was…
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Reposting...
My 75 year old wife was recently diagnosed with FTD. I am 77 myself and in compromised physical health due to my Vietnam war injuries. We sold our home and moved into a retirement facility which made life less complicated. But the issues I face caring for my wife are almost more than I can manage. I do not dare leave her…
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DH bothering neighbor with small children
DH has now become fixated with a neighbor family with 3 small children. Their house has very open picture windows and he’s walked over there to talk to them, apparently looking in the window and inviting the little ones to come over to our house. He likes people and likes kids and likes to have people come over. He’s…
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One diaper change away
I'm one gross diaper change away from screaming. If I could run away I would. How do others handle this horrible job without throwing up?
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I’m burned out and don’t know what to do
my DH has undiagnosed dementia and steadfastly refuses to see his doctor. This has been going on for more than three years. DH is 75 years old and is healthy except for his memory problems. My son comes over three nights a week to support me but he works full time so I’m pretty much on my own. I can’t hire a caregiver…
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Adult teenager
I barely survived raising my own kids.....now my husband with Alzimers has become a defiant teenager. I am not wired to deal with this!!! Been a really bad day in my household. God give me strength!
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She is gone
My lovely, wonderful, brilliant, public spirited wife died yesterday. She was 73. and had had Alzheimer's for 15 years. I described our journey in these pages and the end was peaceful. I held her hand as her breathing went shallower and shallower and finally stopped . Our two daughters were with us. She was as lovely as…
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Violent spouse with dementia
My D husband gets agitated and so do I and we argue all the time. When I think I am helping I am just aggravating him even more. Just today put on pants backwards and refused to change them He pushed me away and I fell. Lesson learned, let him fail, try to leave for good but tied financially Any one can tell me how to…
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Proof of dementia for MC
Do I have to document that my spouse has dementia to put him in MC facility
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Keeps wanting to go get hair cut
My husband had his hair cut two weeks ago and keeps saying he needs a haircut, should I just let him go again? I remind him that he just went but he doesn't believe me
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The conflicting emotions...
The past two weeks have been a continual decline. My DH is sleeping more each day. A month ago, DH started each day with a quarter mile walk with the walker at sunrise, and we could take car rides and go for wheelchair walks at a local park. Three weeks ago, the anxiety of the car overwhelmed him, so we just did his short…
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What to tell my wife about hiring help
It seems that the time has come for me to hire a home health care worker/companion for my wife. I would estimate she has reached the middle part of stage 5 at this point. I was thinking of having someone come over twice a week to start, for 4 hour visits. I know she will resist—how can I get her to agree—what will I tell…
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Nail cutting
Does anyone have suggestions on how to bet my DW to cut her toe nails? She is not a fan of getting a pedicure.
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Having one disaster after another with my LW
I’m m new at all this since February ‘25. I read the wrong week on my calendar this morning and went took her to her hip doctor and missed a very important EMG test at Mayo Clinic. I’m having trouble keeping up my own health. The diet is suffering too. My LW broke her hip a month ago after developing Foot Drop. So, now I’m…
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Losing his grip
Is it typical for PWD to begin dropping things? My DH can’t seem to hold onto anything anymore. Drinks are especially hard and when he drops them, his clothes need to be changed, floor cleaned. Does anyone have a suggestion for a good adult style sippy cup? I need to do something different and need/welcome your help. Thank…
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Fall Detection Devices?(1)
Hi all. Now I'm looking into fall detection devices. Some of them seem to have all these services I don't need. IF I am running to the store for 45 minutes (which I can still do), I want him to be wearing a device to monitor falls. I do not need a GPS for location (he's not that mobile, doesn't wander, and I'm usually…
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Husband Proofing my home.
I childproofed my home when my kids were little and never in a million years did I think that I would have to do this to protect my lo. I just padlocked the ladder so he can’t climb up on the roof. He’s 73 and too old to be on the roof and his dementia has been costing me thousands of dollars in repairs after he “fixes”…
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Unsure
I think things are progressing or is it me thinking they are. I didn’t know what to do this morning after a volatile night so I had his son come over and take him. I won’t make it until his Dr appointment on Monday. He is starting down the physical abuse path. It’s only been 3 pokes and grabbing my arm but I’m afraid it…
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Curious about spouses Insight
Oddly enough my husband displays significant short term memory loss but continues to be well aware that his mind is failing and this distresses him (of course). He was dx 5 yrs ago. Wondering if it’s better (happier for him & me) when he no longer realizes (lacks insight into) his declining mental status? He gets angry and…
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Auto safety
My wife is in the moderate stages. We were returning from a short trip on the interstate highway at about 70 mph when she opened the passenger door. She was seatbelted and the air pressure from the passing wind kept the door from flying open. But she was fiddling with the door as I was finding a safe place to pull over. My…
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I can’t help this pain I feel
I miss my husband and he’s laying right next to me. About 6 months ago, my husband started forgetting we were married about once a week. Then about 3 months ago he started telling me he doesn’t want to be involved with anyone about once every 1-2 weeks. It doesn’t usually last long but every time I wonder if it will last…
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What stage?
At what stage does someone (husband in this case) lose interest in absolutely everything? He used to like to watch TV, especially westerns, but he has no interest in that anymore. He was never a reader, no hobbies at all. He had seemed better for a while, no sundowning or wanting to "go home." But that has all started…
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Possessed Look
Hi all, Lately, as my DW drifts deeper into her dementia, I've seen a kind of wild look in her eyes and she definitely does not look like she's seeing me at all in those moments. It's a bit disconcerting when it happens and I can only imagine what's bringing her to that space. The poor thing. Anyone else have this with…
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Caring for an 8 year old
My wife is 84 and is in ALZ Stage 5 with a few Stage 6 symptoms. This past year has been a steep decline. It's amazing what she can no longer do. It's not just memory (which is a serious issue), but she can no longer understand simple instructions and can no longer do most anything without close supervision. She doesn't…
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Refuses to see DR
My DH refuses to go to next DR appt and I can't force him DR wants to do lumbar puncture but he is too agitated to go thru with procedure as they want him there for four hours. This procedure may not shed any light on his condition, his cognition has been steadily worse and this is supposed to diagnose NPH. I asked DR to…
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Stage 7a- need to know if possible to keep them home
My 78 DH has Aliz and dx 2017 MC, he is progressing has anyone kept their LO home until the end. He is still going to day care 3 days a week ,will be 2 years in Oct. When is Hospice available ? I have been doing everything myself, he has had no showers since Jan but he lets me wash him . Bladder incontinent some BM ,…