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Update
I have been wanting to post and let you all know how things were going but kept waiting for a meeting with the doctor. Well, that has not happened. The new administrator at DH MC asked the social worker to set up a meeting for me. That woman called almost two weeks ago and said she was going to do that. She never called…
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Riding the struggle bus
It's been 3 months since DH moved to an assisted living. I thought it would relieve some stress, but it hasn't. I am confident in the placement, the staff has been great. However, my husband has declined so much so fast. I fight feeling guilty all time even though I know it's impossible to have him home. I go visit almost…
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Nothing going as planned….what to do
My husband is the Type 1 diabetic who has been stuck in hospitals since mid July. He went from home to ER, to a GPU, to home for 2 days, back to ER, to IcU and has been in a med surg bed since, a couple of weeks now. No surprise that there has been mor decline during this time. They could not find a GPU placement. They all…
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LO Starting Hospice
In the last few of months my LO became incontinent; I could handle that. He was still ambulatory albeit slow but he could get around with my assistance, could feed himself, I could get him in bed, and other daily tasks. Just like that, overnight two days ago his legs are gone; meaning he cannot stand, walk, get in bed, he…
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Stage 8
My DW has gone to be with our Lord. On September 1, she fell and injured her ribs. The Hospice nurse told us to give her Morphine every four hours. She was not eating or drinking so I suspected we were near the end. On Thursday, they increased the Morphine to every hour. She was snoring loudly. Sunday morning at 1:15 I…
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Power of Attorney
My wife has early-mid stage Alzheimer’s and anosognosia. I’ve been told I need power of attorney, but I have questions about that. Do I really need this, given that all our assets are held jointly? Is there a way to set up power of attorney without confronting her with her condition? She gets upset when that happens and…
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Cleaning spree
After a year of not doing much of anything DW has suddenly gone on a cleaning spree. sorting through her piles of stuff, throwing stuff away, vacuuming and dusting. I don't know what to think.
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Med Care providers
Hi. There is a good chance my husband will be going into MC soon. The facility offers a medical service where he can get med help by their own PCP, a nurse practitioner. I fully understand the convenience and efficiency this could provide. However my husband has been receiving great care from his current PCP and team of…
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Out of the hospital and on to memory care
DH left the hospital on Friday. His sister and I took him directly to the memory care I had selected, which was more than an hour’s drive thanks to our city’s always terrible traffic. Everyone made a big fuss over him when he arrived, and it was great to see him smiling again. He asked me once, “Why am I here?” And I told…
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DH suddenly in end stage…
It looks like DH is eligible for hospice due to “failing to thrive” from CHF, moderate brain atrophy, NPH, and other issues. After months of stressing over the losses of his decline, trying to prevent him from falling, to figure out how to care for him for possibly another several years, now I’ve been in his hospital room…
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If it's really hard, and you don't think you can do it anymore......
Many of you won't recognize me because I'm not posting anymore. My caregiving days are over. I am now in stage 8. But I still feel bad for those of you who are in the trenches. I have nothing to gain from the following, but you do. Even if you're in the beginning stages of caregiving, you should find this free 5 day course…
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Is it too early to put my DH in memory care?
My DH is mid-stage six of Alzheimer’s. I’ve learned to care for him 24/7 and deal with all the issues of that stage. In the past several weeks, however, he has become verbally combative and uncompliant in certain areas where he doesn’t get his way or is asked to do something he does not want to do. He is very sweet, but he…
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Dentist and Optomistrist
Did any of you decide at some point that these appointments are no longer necessary? My DW is entering Stage 5 and is beginning to struggle recognizing items right in front of her. I know that's the dementia and not her eyes. She's also always had great teeth and took excellent care of them. When do I stop the hassle of…
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Communicating during an hallucination
This is my first post. I have been reading here for months, learning from all of you, and praying I have half of the courage you display and trying so hard to not project into the future. I cannot find any answers for this problem. My DH has hallucinations, usually at night, usually not frightening. Doctor doesn’t want to…
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Placement or Home Health
I’m at a crossroad. My 75yr DH has landed himself in the Psych Unit. He became very agitated. His reasoning is broken and there is no real reason for his behavior accept his delusions about money and his disabled truck. He also hallucinates and wanders. He is no longer able to talk coherently, except for a couple stories…
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Condom catheter
DH is incontinent at night. He doesn't wake up once he falls asleep. Needless to say he is soaked and often the sheets and waterproof mattress pad also. His urologist suggested a condom catheter ( for my sake). I tried it the other night and had a terrible time putting it on. It stuck to his hairs and I had to take it off.…
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What does it mean when they don't know they are home?
Tonight has been so hard. My DH just wants to go to our home - but we are home. He's angry that I won't go home, he doesn't believe me that we live here. He tells me he is being treated horribly. He says he can't imagine being treated his horribly. I am a really patient person. I work every day to treat him well. I know he…
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The End is Near
Last Wednesday hospice called and said that the CNA felt there were major changes in DHs breathing. I quickly went to the facility and was surprised to see his breathing pattern. I believe they call it cheynes stokes. Several big breaths, then nothing for as long as 65 seconds. It was alarming to watch. By friday his…
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DNA test to help with medication selection?
Just got a call from a nurse at my husband’s geriatrician’s office. She was telling me about a new program they have for their dementia patients. One service they offer is DNA testing to see which medications and what dosages might be most efficacious. This would be very useful in trying to find the right medication to…
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Stopped showering and talks to pictures
I am new here. My DM was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s 3 years ago but is in denial. He is slowly getting worse and I think he is in stage 3-4. I have two issues: 1. He is now talking to pictures of family on the fridge all day. Yesterday he insisted I leave the light on for them. Is that normal? 2. For the last 3 weeks he…
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Eye Doctor Visit
I think my dh's eyesight has gotten a lot worse than his current eye glasses can help with. Any suggestions about how to handle a visit to an eye doctor and/or how to find one that is comfortable with dementia patients? He's in late stage 5 with strong aphasia, stiff body and hard of hearing. He will be a handful.
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the nightmare of respite
Sorry, I need to vent to my hive before I take someones head off. My DH is in stage 7 and on hospice. I am having family from out of state come to visit. I was so excited. I was going to put him in respite care for the week. Picked out a spot that was suppose to be one of the best in the city. Friday morning comes to drop…
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Memory Care transition
Well it has been 2.5 weeks since my DH has been in memory care. Prior to this, he spent 3.5 weeks in the hospital. The first couple of days he was there, I literally slept like a log. My bed didn't even look like i had moved a muscle. But as the days wear on I'm finding my big old house so quiet. It's sad. The facility is…
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My husband is in the hospital
After struggling with my husband’s escalating agitation for 10 days at home, I took him to the ER Wednesday night. It was the worst night of my life. The minute they put a wristband on him, he ripped it off and all hell broke loose. We were bustled into a locked room in 30 seconds. For the next seven hours, they knocked…
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Memantine
My husband’s doctor recommended Memantine. (He called in the Rx, but I have yet to pick it up….) Has anyone had any success/issues with it? I saw a post from a few years ago that didn’t sound promising from the few responses that I read. I am wondering if anyone has any other experiences to share.
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We Moved—WISE OR NOT?
My first post to the forum was last October. I asked about the moving to be near family after an Alzheimer’s diagnosis. I was seeking stories of others who did. After much thought, I made the decision to move near our daughter and son in law. It was a three states away move. I say “I” made the decision because my DH is no…
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Legs giving out
DH fell in the bathroom— he’s on blood thinners and I was told months ago by doc and visiting nurse that if he falls he needs to go to the hospital to check there are no blood clots. So here we are. I called an ambulance because i could barely get him up and knew I couldn’t get him to a car service safely (I don’t drive)……
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DH diagnosed with Dementia
I am new here. My DH was diagnosed with early dementia last year and I am looking to make connections and find support from people who are in the same situation. I love my DH so much and reassure him that I will remain by his side, but he will make comments such as "I hate being like this and you don't deserve this!" and…
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Disability vs Social Security at 62
DH, 61 yo, has multiple health issues. He does not have a diagnosis of dementia but has some cognitive issues. MR Venogram done in May for another issue shows microvascular ischemic changes, supratentorial white matter, and mild global parenchymal volume loss. So nothing definitive for dementia changes. However, his health…
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Updating trust while DH is still able to consent
After reading various posts here, I realize time os of the essence to make changes we've talked about for years but never got around to doing. DH is in the early stages, still able to comprehend, give input and give consent. There is no CELA in my town. Closest one is 75 miles away but there are several trust attorneys…