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In memory care and taking hubby out
hubby has been in memory care facility since mid October. He always in confusion. He says where am I. What am I doing here. I want to go home. This is all he talks about. I thought I’d be able to take him home thanksgiving but no way. I’m not sure he will ever be ready to go out. I can’t imagine taking him to a diner.…
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Control of financial power DH has Alz
hello caregivers has anyone had to control/limit their spouses powers, regarding finances, investments in particular? My DH is fine with money at home, and does not go out without me. A problem arises on rare occasions when he considers our investments. We are seeing his neurologist in three days. Do I need to get the Dr…
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lack of empathy with my mother
My mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in September 2025. At the moment it is a medium/mild disorder, she still lives alone with my support. She is not able to take her medicine independently, she does not know how to do the shopping, she has difficulty preparing meals. She is not yet a danger to herself even if more and…
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Mom is in memory care, she “wants to buy a condo”
I just had to put my mom in memory care in March. Prior to that, she was in the assisted living side of the facility, and I hoped it would meet her needs. She first moved to the facility in November. It’s been a quick progression. Then, and especially now, she wants to buy a new condo. She knew that we had to sell the old…
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Night time sickness
My mom every night wants to call the ambulance because she feels nauseous and shaking. She has sundowners and gets fidgety and can't sleep. She also has congestive heart failure and her blood pressure gets really low. Not sure what to give her to help her relax and sleep. Doctor not much help, wants her to take Xanax.…
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Rational father trying to relate to emotional mother in stage 5/6
Hello. We moved my mother into memory care a couple weeks ago and she is slowly starting to adjust except when my father visits. My father is, by nature, very logical and rational. My mother is, by nature, very emotional with a tendency to complain/argue with my father (it's been that way for decades). When visiting, my…
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Accountant or bookkeeper recommendations
Hi there, Anyone know a good accountant or bookkeeper that understands trusts and Medicaid? I'm the POA for my mom, who has Alz. As part of an awful experience called Medicaid planning, a lawyer is recommending my mom put some assets into a living trust; plus open a Qualified Income Trust; plus open a Medicaid Compliant…
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Looking for activities for my dad who has advanced dimension
Hi- My dad’s hobbies before Parkinson’s and procrastinating, dementia, or photography, reading, classical music., and the TV show Doc Martin At this point, Doc Martin is too confusing for him and doesn’t want to watch it. I was able to find some simple books for dementia patients which he seems to enjoy. But perhaps for an…
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Both FTD and AD
Last August my DW was diagnosed with both FTD and AD. In the last few weeks she has repeatedly identified me as her dead father and is very comfortable with it but very upset as to where her husband has gone…usually says he is off with his buddy who she does not know the name of. Yesterday she was doing a wash of clothes…
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primary support person, not direct care-giver
Hi, I'm new to the group and looking for support. I don't know this is the right place for me. My mother is in assisted living with mild-to-moderate dementia. She lives 1/2 mile down the road from me. I’m her primary care partner and decision-maker, but I’m not providing hands-on care. I'm mentally and emotionally…
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Help understanding the stage
Hello all. I am new here and feel like I’ve found myself on a very fast track in this journey. Starting around 2023, my DH’s doctors began mentioning dementia, but we never got a firm diagnosis or clear treatment plan. They just kept re-doing the SLUMS test, and while we knew something was wrong, things still felt somewhat…
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What did you do to prepare for inevitable MC placement?
Hello everyone, I'm working on getting my ducks in a row so to speak to prepare for my DH going into MC when/if it becomes necessary. My question is this: What did you do to prepare for your LO going into MC? My DH is nowhere near ready for that level of care and I also hope to keep him at home as long as possible. With…
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Downsizing While Caring for a Spouse with Alzheimer’s — Has Anyone Done This?
Hi everyone, My dad (65) has Alzheimer’s and is slowly declining. At this point, he can’t prepare meals beyond grabbing something simple, and he needs help or reminders with personal care like shaving and showering. His speech and understanding are very limited, and while he’s still in good spirits, his independence has…
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Constant Need for new creative strategies!
It is amazing, how I constantly need to be "on my toes" with my mom (mild-mod-Alz in AL). I recently (due to this groups' suggestion) got Google Voice so my mom wouldn't constantly be texting and calling my real number. I can now check Google Voice (& MSG) when I want to, 2x/day. It has greatly lowered my stress response!…
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Time to move Loved One into care center
Hello. I have not been on this site for a long time. But when I was, the info I received was so helpful. I care for my twin brother with Alzheimer's heading into Mid/late stage, progressing quickly. He is 71. He has been approved to go into a care center June 8th. Looking for guidance, suggestions for how to tell him and…
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Sad ending because of financial abuse
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/california-woman-dead-murder-suicide-may-thousands-scammer-claiming-to-rcna346560 Tragic reminder it isn't "dignity" you are saving when an impaired loved one has free access to phones and assets. And the scammers aren't just randoms- but highly organized…
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Possible Job Relocation and Moving Parent
Hello, I am new to this forum and after reading likely 100 posts or more, I am in tears knowing that I am not alone. The words and encouragement from this group is incredible. This is such a lonely process for the caregiver. I am envious of those who have siblings/family who step in and help. I am an only child and my…
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Hot and Cold
My DH is in moderate stages and is constantly complaining about being too warm or cold….then when I adjust the room temperature slightly, an hour later he is the opposite. This has been going on for a few weeks now - is this a common symptom of the disease? He does not seem to have a fever or any other symptoms that would…
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Multiple elopement attempts from MC
My mom (87YO) is in MC and has attempted to leave several times. Most recently, on Friday she managed to get upstairs before the nurses caught her. It took them an hour to get her back downstairs to the special care unit. They had to force her onto a wheelchair - she was swinging and pushing. I saw her Sat morning and she…
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New member challenged by delusions
Hi everyone - just signed up here. 72 y.o. husband has moderate dementia, not Alzheimer’s, but due to changes from acquired brain injury from adolescent-onset hydrocephalus. He has a long history of persecutory delusions - there has often been an individual in his life that he believes intends to harm him. Those mostly…
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Confusing Objects Scare
My DH with ALZ just brought me his hearing aids and asked me what these funny looking pills were for and why did he have to take them. These aids are not in the ear, bud types but larger, over the ear with tubes type. In no way do they resemble pills. This really frightened me because I immediately became concerned that if…
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Uncertainty of Mixed Dementia
I live in Atlanta Ga caring for my mother with severe late stage ALZ. But I am concerned she may have Parkinson's Dementia and/or Lewy Body Dementia. Her anti depressant, anti psychiatric and mood stabilizer is still not lessening the physical aggression, paranoia, delusions and hallucinations. I'm being pushy with her…
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Unsure how to approach FIL about stair use
I have posted numerous times about our caregiving for my FIL but we are becoming increasingly concerned about him using the stairs into the walkout basement. For as long as I have known my FIL, their walkout basement was his man cave, which included his bathroom/shower , when he was DX's 2 years ago, eventually my MIL…
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Caregiver Resources
Just a quick note to caregivers about two resources which may offer you some help. Hilarity For Charity, https://wearehfc.org/ Careyaya, https://www.careyaya.org/ Both offer free resources in forums, blogs and some home care support.
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Grandchildren's visit - should they stay elsewhere?
I'm here again for advice and thoughts. My DH is in stage 5, still able to care for himself, but conversations are increasingly difficult as he struggles for words. Yet sometimes it's ok. My main concern at the moment is that he does best in a very quiet atmosphere. He usually can not place sounds in the background like…
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My husband passed away
Thought I would let you all know my husband passed away a few weeks ago. He woke up night before coughing, appetite decrease a few days, and he was shivering terribly. It was unexpected. I took him to Emergency Room next day. We thought we would be coming back home. He didn't want to go and felt fine. Everything started go…
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After hospice respite
My spouse returned home from a 5 day respite stay at a local hospice house severely deconditioned. Was using a walker with stand by assist and now he can barely stand. I left them a note with our daily schedule at home, but I wish I had made it clear how many feet he ambulated daily. I needed the break, but now I wonder if…
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Dissatisfied with memory care
I took care of my DH at home. He has Alzhiemer's and vascular dementia. I had to place him in memory care a couple of months ago. I miss him and visit every day. He is receiving excellent care. He looks better and is much calmer. For me the place he is at is a total nightmare. It is very poorly managed. They don't even get…
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On The Outside Looking In
Family gatherings. Supposed to be a time of love, fellowship, sharing, talking, laughing, etc. What happens when you have lost your DW of many years, months have passed since that day and you attend a celebratory family gathering? I have anxiety beforehand trying to anticipate comments, greetings, the possible impact of…
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The results of my DW’s brain autopsy: Not at all the results I expected.
In a nutshell, if my DW is any gauge, our LO’s dementia is probably a lot more complex than we realize. My DW was diagnosed in October 2020, at 69, with Semantic Dementia [SD], aka Semantic Variant of Primary Progressive Aphasia [svPPA], which in turn is a variant of FTD. This was not what the autopsy revealed. She passed…