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My mom just said she is the most comfortable she has been in her life
I know this won’t last. She came home for a visit. We’re hanging out on the couch watching Yule log after a meal I cooked (poorly). She is on hospice, needs an aide 6 hours a day, and hardly says full words. But for just one moment…I asked if she was comfortable and she looked at me and said “believe it or not, I’m…
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Don't know where we are in this
My 65 y.o. DH was diagnosed with early stage Alzheimer's this past July. I know things haven't been right for a couple years even before the diagnosis. I didn't know much of anything about AD and I'm trying to learn. He is still fully functional, has a lot of trouble remembering words, losing his train of thought, working…
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Risks of Anti-amyloid Antibody (IV) Infusion Therapy With Extreme Exercise?
I am trying to find some answers on the risks of taking an anti-amyloid antibody (IV) infusion therapy while being physically active. My 63 yo husband (stage 4, APOE3/4) was just diagnosed with Alzheimers and he is a candidate for Kinsula or Lequmbi but we are worried about the risk of ARIA. He wants to keep mountain…
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NYT Opinion Piece on Caregiving Crisis
https://www.nytimes.com/2025/11/24/opinion/caregiving-crisis.html?unlocked_article_code=1.308.kBxI.CmNVAb2397Tf&smid=url-share
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Sudden deterioration in memory and change in demeanor
Is it common for someone with Alz/dementia to have memory suddenly decline significantly? My Mom (96) has a show she LOVES to watch on TV - loves to the point that we have recorded every episode on her DVR and replay them continually. She talks about the star (local vet), wants to meet him, wants to see his clinic, etc.…
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agitation and aggressive behavior
My wife is 76 and in very late middle stage (6e) of Alzheimer's. She was diagnosed more than 10 years ago and has gradually progressed to this stage. until recently she was very cooperative, ate and hydrated well, and other than having almost no ability to care for herself was actually fairly easy to care for. Recently she…
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Need to say no
I asked this in another discussion but came here due to the recent loss of my husband just a month ago. I am frozen right now with grief and am not ready to socialize. A cousin asked me to lunch tomorrow (we are not that close), as he is passing thru my area, and I said yes, but now I really don't want to go. And my…
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Fights about the dumbest things
the person I share a house with for the last 11 years - not a spouse or a legal partner - was diagnosed about two years ago, didn't tell me for about a year. I am not an official caregiver but in essence I am. I am retiring now and wondering how I will cope. When I worked it wasn't so bad but now I am here all the time.…
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Focus on the Now, the Positive, the Moments
My name is Vickie B. I turn 50 in 4 days, and I've been living with younger onset Alzheimer’s since 2021. Have I cried? Yep- a few short times. BUT I have made it my mission to not stay/live in my sadness. I choose daily to see and find beauty and joy around me. And if I have a bad day, I give myself some grace. Honestly,…
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The losses just keeps coming
I couldn’t decide where to post this: here or on the front porch(where I’ve never posted). I know not very many people visit here- but it’s a place to get my thoughts out. As you know, my spouse and I lost our son( April 2023). Then I lost my step-dad Feb. 2024. He wasn’t a nice person, but I had known him for 59 years. I…
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UTI
DH had a low grade fever this morn, 99.7, gave aspirin, agitated more than norm. I used the home UTI test strip and showed positive for UTI. We went to ER with urine sample in hand. ER said couldn't use the sample, no problem, cause DH soon needed to relieve himself again. ER tested fresh sample and said negative for UTI.…
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Terrified!
My 60 yr old husband was diagnosed a bit more than 4 years ago with EOAD/FTD w/ behavioral variant. He is late stage 6 with some components of stage 7. He is at home w/ me and I have part time care that comes to help. After an appt w/ his dr treating his symptoms, he tells me that because my husband is so physically…
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Makeup at night
just wanted to share very briefly… Got Mom all set up to do her nightly toothbrushing and night cream for her face thing, I normally let her do things on her own while I am definitely within earshot so she retains as much independence as possible. She had a shower earlier today, very unusual. But it’s because she had not…
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Happy Thanksgiving
God says … There is room enough in my arms for you, in my mercy for you, in my love for you. I welcome you, I cherish you — even after midnight, when weariness closes in and life as a caregiver stretches and frays the last nerve. There is room enough in my arms for you, in my mercy for you, in my love for you. I pray we…
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More about spitting…
It’s been a long time since I’ve checked in. My husband is still going strong physically and he’s on eighteen years since learning he had a diagnosis of MCI. Probably twenty five years if counting behavioral changes proceeding memory loss. He’s considered to be in advanced stages of loss of cognition, but I’m not…
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Sons and their Dad
Just talking. We have had such a lovely 2 day visit from our son and 7 year old grandson. They live 1500kl from us so visits are very special and require a certain amount of strategic planning to get away from work, fit in with school and sports and everything else that is going on in their lives. He brought me a new…
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Find local services for the aged at the National Council on Aging
The following link will help you find local services based on your zip code https://benefitscheckup.org/ Or, you can find it through the NCOA website. Look for Benefits Checkup
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Counterpart to "out of sight, out of mind" is "I need to see it"
Many people know of "out of sight, out of mind", where if a PWD does not see something, it is forgotten. So I take anything that can cause problems and hide it, or stuff it into a bag to carry it away. An example is a bottle of meds where pills can be taken if I leave it out and I don't keep an eye on it. I hide it as soon…
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A new task, self catheterizing my husband
I knew when the urologist informed my husband he needed to learn how to self cath, that meant me. The list of skills I have acquired as a caregiver gets longer and longer. It never crossed my mind this would be in my future. I have now done it successfully 8 times. Enlarged prostate with frequent UTIs and reduced ability…
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Progression
So moms been in an Amazing ALF. She loves it. I love it it literally is the best blessing. That said recently last 6 months or so, when I pick her up on Sunday our weekly visit at my house ( I go there 2xs a week) she wants to leave, politely after an hour. Normally she spends the day we eat, watch football game, BS.…
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seroquel question
For those people who have found success with seroquel, what dosage are you using and how often is it administered? We started on 25mg once a day to treat agitation. We saw no effect and moved up to 50mg once a day. We found some success with that dosage and have been on 50mg once a day for about 8 months. Lately the…
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Has Anyone Installed a Bidet to assist with hygiene and avoid a UTI?
I'm thinking of a bidet to help my mother with her hygiene. She had a series UTI in the summer and she ended up in the ER and my dad whose the main caregiver and is 88 years old was unable to manage. She's okay now. However, she has started getting more and more confused about "how and when to wipe" following urination and…
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Is repeated aspiration pneumonia common?
My mothers MC facility called me a couple days ago saying they wanted to send her to ER because she had a persistent cough that was not getting better by her standard nebulizer. She has COPD. My dad passed away last year and most of mom's friends have died. She only has my sister (who has POA) and me. My sister spends two…
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How long can he sleep?
My husband is sleeping longer and longer. I know this is part of the disease but it is now 4:15 pm and he refuses to get out of bed. He is sleeping on and off, refuses to eat, and becomes belligerent when I try to have him get up, dressed, and have something to eat. I’ve read that it’s OK to let him sleep but it is…
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Giving thanks for you
Feeling thankful for all of you today! Thank you for your support, wisdom, understanding, and commiseration. Hoping you can find a moment today to feel thankful, and to feel appreciated!
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I am still waiting for the actual diagnosis
I have a neurocognitive disorder and I'm waiting for my neuropsych testing so I can be diagnosed. This is very challenging and I was seeing if there is anyone out there who has or is going through this. Any advice or stories would be great.
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Still in a fog of emotions
M, 59. Wife, sister and kids ganged up on me this summer to get checked out. They said I kept asking them the same questions and could not correctly recall recent events. I am a teacher. I had noticed that I stumbled over some analogies I usually used to go with certain slides. But, No way I had an impairment, right? They…
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Concern about potential surgery
My DW has a condition that may require a hysterectomy or other type of surgery to correct a pelvic prolapse. I'm terrified that the surgery may accelerate her decline. To this point, nearly 5 years, she has done very well. We are still having a good life and she is happy as am I, although I live every day if fear of the…
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Father says hurtful things and still expects me to help
so my dad’s decline is progressing where he shows bizziare behavior at times and says really hurtful things especially regarding my own health. It makes me not want to full his pill planner with his meds or assist with day to day tasks. What are some tips to stay motivated although your loved one gets really mean?
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How To Find Purpose Again?
I knew where the path ended, the outcome never in doubt, but after so many years with my purpose being to care for my dear wife how do I find any purpose in going on? After 60 years together, with the last 10 or so caring for her as she suffered AD, my singular goal was to provide her care to keep her at home as she…