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Facing the move to memory care
I have made the decision to move my DH who has late stage Alzheimer's to a small residential memory care home. He will be moving on November 12. The physicality and relentless needs of his care have simply become too much for me to bear. I have no idea how to face this move or make it a lighter burden for either of us.…
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Urinary Incontinence/retention
My brother lives with me and is struggling with urinary retention. He has Alzheimer's and Down Syndrome. One option that has been mentioned as a solution is a Suprapubic Catheter. Does anyone have experience with this?
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Wow, I underestimated the loneliness
My husband went to memory care this week. It's going fine. He's settling in fairly well. I feel like a jerk for even saying this. I'm lost and lonely. I've never lived alone before (family, college, roommates, then my husband). I'm trying to keep busy. Dishes are done. Laundry is caught up (for the first time in 2 years).…
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Medicare GUIDE program
8 year program to provide help- hopefully a good start & will expand . 2 links below.
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Who else just misses their (still-living) parent?
I miss my dad. I miss being able to call him just to talk about whatever is on the top of my mind at that moment, or ask his opinion about something — anything. But especially being able to ask for his advice about life or what to do while trying to navigate this world. I miss his wisdom from a long life of experience,…
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Hospice at Home and Private Aide
Does anyone hospice at home but hired an aide to help? I am deciding what the best course of action is. It is less expensive to hire a live in and have hospice come to my home…I'm worried it will still be too much for me to handle. My mom is frail and is recovering from broken bones due to a fall. She is in pain, no longer…
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New here, are there any books aimed at the person who has dementia?
Hello, I had the slum test and was found to me on the border of mci and dementia. Thyroid test and b12 test came back normal range. Waiting on diabetes and will have an MRI on Friday. I am wondering if there any books you can recommend that are directed towards the patient and not necessarily the caregiver. I found a lot…
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Time change
My husband is so confused and upset about the time change today. He just doesn’t understand when I explain it to him. He thinks something is going on that is bad, something is doing this to him. I thought things were going better the last 2-3 days, now this. Guess that’s the way it is. Will I ever get used to this?
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Looking for Support: MCI Diagnosis with Normal Test Results at 51
Hi everyone. I'm looking for others who might have gone through something similar. I'm 51 and recently received a diagnosis of mild cognitive impairment (MCI) after experiencing memory issues, headaches, and possibly some minor balance issues. Given that my mother has Alzheimer's (I'm her primary caregiver), this diagnosis…
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Medicines No Longer Working
Hi all! I haven’t posted in a while. My mom, now 68, has been in AL since January. Since then, she has been on MANY medications whether sedative, antidepressant, mood stabilizers etc. It’s gotten to the point the doctor at the home has told us she is no longer responsive to treatment. She no longer holds a conversation.…
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How do I get my sister to the doctor?
Hi, I am new to the forum. I am sure this question has been asked by many people that are starting this journey. My sister thinks she is fine and ignores our requests to have her make an appointment to see a doctor. We know that she is not managing her finances properly and is making very poor decisions and possibly making…
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NY Times: Can Crosswords and Games Prevent Dementia?
Gifted link good for 30 days. Can Crosswords and Games Prevent Dementia? Experts say the answer is a puzzle. https://www.nytimes.com/2024/10/30/well/mind/dementia-brain-training-puzzles.html?unlocked_article_code=1.WU4.wf9A.a9CM36TJzQcw&smid=url-share Main take away: Perhaps Dr. Gandy summed up the debate best: “I don’t…
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My DH has lost his dentures
We are in our second year since diagnosis (probably 4 years since onset), and are somewhere in the fifth-sixth stage of ALZ. He has stopped wanting to take his denture out when we go to bed, so we have been cleaning it in the morning. Sometime last night he took it out and has misplaced it. I have looked everywhere for it,…
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Interesting (and untimely) legal lesson about cremation: should I have just lied and told them we w
I hope this might be helpful to someone else, for me it's been a huge headache and unnecessary firedrill on an already fraught Friday afternoon. And importantly, something that neither my memory care contacts nor the hospice social workers were aware of. And that the cremation company didn't catch until this afternoon,…
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STAGE 8 - There is no other side of grief...
My soulmate husband Lonny passed August 12. I feel lost most of the time but am trying to find myself without him. Found this on a Facebook post today. So true. I had my own notion of grief. I thought it was the sad time, that followed the death of someone you love. And you had to push through it to get to the other side.…
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Loves to talk to anyone who comes to the door
My DH has a routine list of things he talks about to anyone who will listen - I call it his yard tour. He starts with showing them the driveway, followed by every tree and plant in the front and back of the house. Some of it makes no sense, but most people will listen patiently, at some point probably realizing he has…
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Final chapter
My DH passed last night. I had seen him in the afternoon, and hope he heard me tell him how much I loved him. I am glad his suffering is done. It all happened so quickly after his last ER stay a couple weeks ago, that it’s hard for me to process. But he never rebounded from that awful experience and simply stopped eating…
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Needing to find a home
First off, why is there no comprehensive place to help caregivers / family when it comes time to find a home for someone with ALZ? Every resource I've found tells me different and conflicting information. It's insane. Anyway, my mother is now MS, nearing LS faster than we thought. As much as I would prefer to not put her…
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Everything is perfectly normal...maybe not
Just feel the need to "talk". DH in ES to MS Alz. He has seemed perfectly normal now for about two weeks. You'd have to live with him and pay attention to know anything was off. Well, there is the thing about needing to explain to him who is who and what that all means when we are watching TV and the thing about misnaming…
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Suggestions for daily activities
I am having trouble finding things for my spouse to do each day. He wants to be doing something all the time, but some tasks he simply can’t do successfully. Any activity suggested for a guy who wants to be busy?
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DH seems fine with everyone but me
My DH is starting his 10th year since Alz diagnosis. He exercised daily and ate healthy during the last 10 years and did exceptionally well. But he is declining now. He worries constantly about where his SS ck is … is our furniture paid for? … where do I live (we’ve been married 31 yrs) …. He thinks we just moved into this…
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Donepezil and Memantine-Extreme Side Effects
Hello Everyone! This is time on the site. My DH was officially diagnosed with VD about eight months ago. But because my mom also had dementia, I knew three years ago that something was wrong. His doctor didn't listen to me, and not until he had three mini strokes, and carotid artery operated on did anyone start listening…
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What Do I Need to Learn?
Hello all, Thank you for your collective wisdom. I've been reading posts and learning. My DH was diagnosed with ALZ a month ago. We're early in the process with MCI right now. He works, drives, cooks, etc. (but is slowing down cognitively and short term memory is poor). I'm taking some time off of work to get some things…
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Fell again
My dad, 89 with VD, fell again. In January 2023, he broke his back, then a few months later he fell and fractured his pelvis. Then this year he fell 3 more times but with minor injuries. However, today hell fell and fractured his humerus in 2 places, fractured his right hip and femur. I think my dad can only take so much.…
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Glued to the tube
My wife of 39 years spends virtually all day every day watching TV. Mostly the news on a loop—and yet she asks me questions that make it clear that none of it’s sticking—ie. “who is running for president?”). It’s another beautiful fall day, but she has closed the blinds, is complaining of being cold (it’s not), and does…
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Visiting DH A Huge Success
As some of you may recall, I have only visited DH once since his placement 1-1/2 yrs ago given the very first visit was a huge disaster. With his neurologist telehealth appointment coming up in December, I figured I had better not make the telehealth appt day be my first "revisit." Moreover, I felt obligated to bring him…
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Adjusting to part time caregiver
I’ve been a full time caregiver for my husband for 5 years. He is in the moderate stage of Alzheimer’s and resists going to day programs. I hired an experienced part time caregiver to help me a few times a week. My husband doesn’t understand this new person in our home and was very irritated with me the second time I left…
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Here we go again
My LH loves woodworking. He is determined to work on a couple Christmas gifts. He has always been very independent with his projects and never needed assistance. Now I need to help him each step of the way taking my time and even then he can’t follow the directions and instructions or drawings or measurements that we…
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Increased Zoloft from 50 mg to 100mg
Thinking of increasing my DH Zoloft to 100. At times I see more anxiety in him. I am a little hesitant bc I don’t want to overdo the medication. Can anyone tell me if they see improvement after increased, or side effects?
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10 ways to help caregivers
In no particular order. All of these apply whether the PWD is at home or in a facility. Ask about the PWD. And listen. Ask the caregiver how they are doing. And listen. Give the caregiver flowers, chocolate or wine. Send the caregiver a nice or funny card to tell them how much they’re appreciated. More than once. Offer to…