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Short term memory and spouse
I am 56 and started having memory issues this year and seems more prevalent recently. I dont have a diagnosis yet and see the neurologist in Nov. A recent example is my wife and I went on a hot air balloon ride in Africa. 8 days later she told friends we took the balloon ride and I interrupted her and said no we didnt. I…
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Making my list, checking it twice
Ok, I should probably be thinking kinder thoughts, but I am starting to get mad. It’s been eight and a half weeks since DH died. The first four or five were pretty busy — memorial service to plan, pension and bank and finances to deal with, etc. Now that all of that has settled a bit, it is deathly quiet. Nobody seems to…
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One day and the arguing has already begun
So Mom died yesterday. I told my siblings I was inviting my step siblings over to select anything and everything they wanted from mom’s apartment in assisted living. After all it was my step-dad’s too until he died in February. The will says everything is divided six ways. I was mom’s POA and I’m the executor of the will.…
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Want to get this off of my chest
Hi y’all. I haven’t been reading or writing lately. May everyone find mercy ,under standing, acceptance and peace on your journey. My wife and I are not doing well on ours. She is in stage seven now. Stuck in bed or a Jerry chair not eating mumbling and looking like she is miserable. I cry every time I see her and get very…
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Expected taxes from SSDI (disability) income??
Hello, My husband is 56, diagnosed with EO Alzheimer's in November of '23 (at age 55), but showed obvious signs of decline beginning at about age 52-53. I'm so relieved that he was approved for SSDI in October (5 months after applying) and we will receive his first disability check this month. It will come RIGHT as his…
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Caregiver daily log with timestamps, for a caregiver agreement
Would anyone happen to have an example of a daily care log they keep? Tasks completed daily with times. I was told to keep records of everything I am doing and the times they were done. I am looking for an easy way to keep track of this. Any pictures of examples would be great.
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Advice request
Hi everyone - this is my first visit to this board. I seem to recognize more names here than I do on the spouse board. It's nice to see all your familiar names. I'm having a problem that all of you would be best to ask for advice. DH is getting closer to finally moving on. It could be weeks, it could be months. Maybe even…
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Elder Lawyer/Planning
Hello all I'm sure this has been discussed at some point, so I apologize if this is repetitive. Having the input of this community would be greatly helpful. My father is in the ES Dementia. My mother is completely overwhelmed and (as an only child) I'm doing my best to navigate this for her and take as much as I can off…
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My parent with dementia's Exboyfriend
My parent with dementia was living out of state and in a relationship with a man who as it turned out hid or did not reveal her dementia symptoms to family supposedly out of reapect for her privacy. I knew for the past two years that she had dementia due to observing her symptoms but she was not receptive to my concerns. I…
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A Local Nightmare
This was in the news not far from me. A woman was found wandering near 2 very busy streets in a primarily residential (mostly single-family homes) area. It's interesting that she seems dressed for the weather.
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Ambiguous Grief
Bill recently used the term "ambiguous grief," and I didn't know what it meant. Here's what some Googling turned up: …search results for the meaning and symptoms of dementia and caregivers' ambiguous grief. Ambiguous Grief in Dementia Caregiving: Physical Presence, Psychological Absence: Dementia causes a gradual loss of…
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New to the Group Dreading the Holidays
The holidays are hitting hard this year. In the last couple of weeks my mom has gotten noticeably more anxious which coincides with her not recognizing members of our immediate family. Thanksgiving was very difficult this year. She’s still physically doing pretty well it just breaks my heart to see her so upset and the…
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Length between appointments
My mom is in the back end of the moderate stage. Since she's been seeing her neurologist (maybe 3 years), the length between appointments is 6 months. Is this typical/normal? Thanks. Hugs to you all.
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A little humor
Maybe the last quip from MIL. She is in the “active dying” stage, mostly unresponsive. After spending a few hours with her this morning, I woke her up to tell her I was going home, I’d see her tomorrow, and I loved her. Although her speech is now hard to untangle, I swear she said “it was nice seeing you”.
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The last mile
I though I was ready for MIL to finish her journey but this is so hard. She’s dying of breast cancer which we chose not to treat. Hospice started morphine a few days ago. I never ever thought I would say this, but thank god for her dementia - she isn’t suffering and has no idea what’s happening to her. Although on some…
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Conflicting Neuroquant MRI and Petscan
I am have started Kisunla infusions, and after my first treatment I had a “ neuroquant MRI” in order to detect if there has been any brain hemorrhages due to the medication. The results fortunately came back negative and the report also mentioned that I do not have brain atrophy. Other MRIs have said I have more brain…
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My young dad is gone but still here
My father is 65 and in the late stages of Alzheimer’s. I just got guardianship and conservatorship of him after discovering his wife could not care for him properly. I just got him into an assisted living facility with memory care, but after only two weeks they can’t handle his behaviors and we are seeking for a new…
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Feeling sad - Missing our mom while she is still with us
We are lucky. After a number of hair raising, exhausting, heartbreaking years we finally got our mother into a safe situation. (for the moment) But now I am really missing her. I think of things I want to tell her and that she would have enjoyed talking about a few years ago and of course she can't. When she goes, I am…
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Need some word tracks
My Mom has been in MC for about 5 weeks. She’s not happy to be there but is slowly settling in. I live 6 hours away so most of my interactions with her are over the phone. I struggle with coming up with good answers to the same questions she asks me over and over again. “How long do I have to be here”? “Who do I talk to…
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New to the group, any advice helps!
My mom got diagnosed in September of this year with Alzheimer's. Right now, it is mild where she needs things explained to her a few times or gets confused about dates. She still has her memory and wits about her and luckily her and my father retired earlier this year so he's taking care of her. She can still function on…
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How long did your loved ones stay in stage 5, 6, and 7?
I’ve read Tam Cummings staging and estimated duration of each. I’m curious as to everyone’s experience here on the time your LO’s spent in each of these stages? My DH went through 3 and 4 fast (just over a year) and is a solid 5 now with a couple of cognitive areas in 6. Do most make it to 7? I can handle a lot but am…
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New to the group
Hi to all of you. I just stumbled onto this site. I don't know if it's normal to have a dramatic turn in abilities or memory or if it comes and goes quickly? My FIL started down this road last December. He has bouts of not knowing how old he is. He's 77 and he thinks he is 20 then 30 then 50. He has always worked right up…
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Estate Planning for Long Term Care
I was on Colorado Medicaid for Seniors website and found some interesting information. They mentioned working with a Medicaid Planning Professional if you are over-income and/or over-asset. Have you ever done this or used Eldercare Resource Planning (a company they connected me to}?
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 12/1/24
GOD IS WITH YOU AND ME Psalm 139:16-18 New International Version “Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. 17 How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! 18 Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand—…
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Improving emergency care for people with dementia
Michael Ellenbogen has been working on this important project for quite some time. He sent me the linked article. He is one of the co-authors. https://outlook.live.com/mail/0/inbox/id/AQMkADAwATE0YTEwLTZkZWMtZWY4Ni0wMAItMDAKAEYAAAMe8X2mg8UKQKMXq%2BSo2HGuBwC6%2FjKngSETRo24yIoaaSzbAAACAQw
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Holidays
My wife of 60 yrs passed last May after the long battle. I know she is in a better place now but the holidays are here now and it's taking a toll on me. Thanksgiving I broke down and my daughter was there to console me but with Christmas fast approaching what to do?? Loneliness is a killer. My best friend lost his spouse…
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What to say before taking DH to a day care place for a first time visit.
Hi, I have a question about what to say to my DH before I take him to visit a day care facility tomorrow. I am still his full time care taker with occasional help with our adult children. I am thinking of starting him out one half day a week and going from there, depending on how he does. He will want to know where we are…
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Epitome of Grief
Flying home yesterday with my husband from a lovely last hurrah holiday at a beautiful resort visiting good friends, our son, and grandchildren; he assimilates easily back into his memory care facility as he just doesn’t know, but I’m inconsolably choked with tears . During this getaway, I looked straight into my husband’s…
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Vacation
My husband has moderate vd dementia. Prior to this dx, we bought a timeshare that I am still paying on. The idea of not being able to travel and use that is awful to me. I still work full time and have a companion with him most of the day. Our last vacation was when I saw a huge difference in him and he "lost" the memory…
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Bathroom issues
Maybe I’m in the dark about what to expect, but this evening my husband went to the bathroom, was in there a long time. I went in to see what he needed and there was a mess in the sink and on the toilet seat. I’m not sure what transpired when he was in there but I’m thinking I need to hang out outside the bathroom door…