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How to respond?
A few weeks ago my mom (who has alz and lives in assisted living) had a fit, accused me of starving her, not helping her get food, and treating her badly. She texted my 12yr old that “your mom is treating me like s#^t. I never would have done this to her!” So the next time I was in my mom’s presence I deleted my child’s…
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Long-distance Caregiver for mother with AZ
Hello, my 80-year-old mother seems to be declining more rapidly this year (she was diagnosed in 2020 wit AZ). She lives in NYC and I moved to Boston,MA, in July from Los Angeles, CA, partly to be closer to her to make caregiving easier. She is very challenging, however, and I often feel lost as to what she needs because…
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Long distance caregiver
I am trying to care for my eldest brother who was diagnosed with dementia and June of 2024. And right now it's May 5th of 2025. And it has escalated so quickly I mean the progression of it has really taken off like a wildfire. I live in Tennessee he lives in Ohio and I'm constantly racing to Ohio check on him to make sure…
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100 days and news
After the discussion yesterday about having my DH home for 100 days, today's news is…not ironic, but maybe serendipitous? The hospice nurse visited today and says DH has one to two weeks left based on all the new behavior. I am all over the board. I'm horribly sad, stunned at the end being so near, grateful that he does…
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Rexulti
Has anyone experienced an increase in blood sugar while taking Rexulti ? It is one of the warnings and DW has had increasing readings since she started Rexulti. No other change in meds or diet.
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I'm Hitting My Limit
I am so lost right now and really need to vent. I don't know that I can take the complaints, shadowing and delusions anymore. Perhaps it's because I keep hoping for something back, even though I know my DW can't offer anything back. I feel like a complete failure in this caregiving and wonder what kind of person I am that…
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Selling Mom's Home Using POA When She Seems Lucid
I have three siblings and one lives fifteen minutes away from my mom. I live in another state but manage all her finances and anything else I can to take the load off our sibling who lives locally. When I agreed to be my mom's power of attorney, I naively thought it would only come into play for her finances. However, this…
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Stuck in the middle
My wife has been in MC for a little over a year. Our marriage was not great for the last 23 years but we are still married for 50 years this August. I still feel a commitment to her. How do I move on and have a life while still anchored to the past? I go see her almost every afternoon and some of the staff has become…
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Who is responsible for following up on directives after release from hospital?
It seems I have a new concern each time I visit my mother in MC. Today's question of the day is "Who is responsible to ensure the medical staff and my mom's MC facility follows the orders given for care after someone is released from a hospital?" My sister is POA for everything with mom. (I used to have POA jointly with…
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New here. Overwhelmed
I’m caring for my dad, 84. He’s at home. Still able to walk, bathe, use the bathroom and dress by himself. He gets so depressed, though. Just hangs his head almost to his chest. He often thinks we are at a home that looks like his, but it isn’t. He is getting more and more assertive when talking to me. I just needed to…
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100 days
My DH has been home from Memory Care for 100 days. Early on it was very good. We took walks, snuggled at night, watched TV and sat on the deck watching birds. It has progressed to where he no longer knows me or home, wanders the house talking to people he hallucinates, demands to 'go home' and wants to see his mother. My…
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Female spouse w/young kids looking for mom in similar situation?
I'd love to find a caregiver like myself to exchange texts with, like our own mini support group. This is likely too specific, but ideally it would be a woman whose partner is in the early stages of Alzheimer's (like, very very early stages where most people can't tell) and whose kids are still living at home (our kids are…
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Opinion - What I Learned From a Support Group for ADRD - Cost and Fit Are Key
Choosing the Right Group Therapy for ADRD Caregivers: Why Cost and Fit Matter Caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s disease or related dementias (ADRD) is an emotional and demanding journey. Many caregivers seek support through group therapy, hoping to find understanding, practical advice, and emotional relief. But…
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Informing others of diagnosis
I was wondering if I should mention to acquaintances that my DH is showing signs of Alzheimer’s. Sometimes we meet up with friends we haven’t seen in a long time and my DH has gotten to the point where he has very little to say or when he does say something it shows his memory is not normal. I don’t know whether to mention…
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Could the doctor be wrong about disease stage?
The title says it all. I am wondering if the doctor could be wrong about what stage my mom is at. The last time I took her to an appointment she had one of her better days and I didn’t feel like it was indicative of how she normally is. Doctor said she is borderline between “mild” and “moderate” but I think she is…
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Mom is in so much pain
Saw my mom today,she is in so much discomfort and pain. Just grateful I got to kiss, hug and pray with her next to my sister the real hero who is her main caregiver.
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Refusing to go back to MC when we take her out
we have had to take Mom out for various things and aides took her to AL side for events. Today she refused to go back to MC and got really nasty with the staff about it. My brother had to go and get her calmed down. Any tips for getting your LO back to MC when they resist? I see no signs of mis treatment and we visit…
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Anger
My mom, 73, is diabetic, in congestive heart failure, and dementia. She started having memory issues a few years back following diabetic keto acidosis followed by Covid. Her memory has continued to deteriorate and her regular practitioner has diagnosed dementia, she refuses to see a specialist. She has extreme mood swings…
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Preparing LO For Death of a Friend
Hello everybody! I hope everyone is enjoying their summers so far. I am writing to try and gain some insight on how to handle this situation, for me and my mom. My mom is 61 and in the moderate stage of her Alzheimer’s. We live in an apartment building and have been very close friends with the woman that lives above us for…
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I’m so confused
My husband has been declining physically and I believe, mentally. He used to be so strong, capable, easygoing and sensible. He now can no longer walk with me. Only a few years ago, I had a hard time keeping up with his pace, but now even at a stroll, he lags behind and is always worried about falling. He is not disabled,…
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How to disentangle adult children
This is my second post today b/c I’ve finally built up the courage to once again pour out my heart and soul to you, my anonymous brothers and sisters in caregiving. I’ll just say it: once you think everything is under control, you realize it’s not. I can’t help thinking that I should put DH in MC or NH sooner rather than…
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Help Me.
my name is Denise. I am a care partner to my husband who is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease recently. I find myself getting very impatient with him with his Tourette’s type syndrome weird sounds. I don’t know if anybody else is experiencing this. Would or assistance with how to stay calm. Once again, it’s 2:30 in the…
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Private vs Companion Room
I’ve been touring MC facilities and many offer a choice between private and companion rooms with rates that reflect a higher cost for the private room. I’d always assumed I would just suck it up and pay for the private room because I figured my DH would not be comfortable with a roommate. On a recent tour, the guide made a…
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The Estate Sale
I have been working on moms house since she was diagnosed two years ago. She is a hoarder. It not just piles of news papers that can go in a dumpster. It’s just everything. Because of the dementia I never know what I will find where. I live an hour away and spent the winter sorting through jewelry, greeting cards( she…
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Loneliness of caregiving
Does anyone else struggle with loneliness as a caregiver? I am single with no children and the principal caregiver for my mom. She is in an independent living facility (for now- she is borderline mild/moderate using the 4 stage model). It’s getting harder to connect with her like I used to and I have nobody else in my life…
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Hospice - am sad - some questions
Edited to make it briefer. My LO/PWD is extremely elderly and her dementia has steadily evolved. She is not eating much and drinking less, is sleeping more, and is using a wheelchair more and more. She has lost weight, is more tired and is very fragile. She seems to still know who I am but who can really tell? A couple of…
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Dealing with anger and frustration
I am an only child caring for my 77 year old mom with Alzheimer’s. Not exactly sure what stage she’s in but it’s estimated she’s had it for over 5 years. My mom and I have always had a difficult relationship and I have no patience when because of her short term memory loss she argues with me over things that she says…
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Caregiving Documentary on PBS
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What’s your opinion of Aricept?
My mom was given Aricept by her PCP when she was first diagnosed but was taken off it due to side effects. I know she had blood in her stool but I don’t know what else. The PCP told me that she could have tried again but confessed that at the time she just wasn’t taking it that seriously. We no longer see her. Fast forward…
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My Mom has Dementia and now hates my Father
Hello! I'm new here. My Mom has dementia and directs all her anger at my father. He is a wonderful, patient man that takes care of her everyday (we are currently trying to get her into assisted living). She calls me everyday bashing him about how he takes all her clothes, pushes her around and throws out all her important…