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Giving up on life?
My mom has started to not want to get out of bed except to use bathroom. She’s been losing weight because she’s not eating her meals and only eats small portions. I’m of the opinion to not force her to do anything she doesn’t willing want to do. If I can gently get her to do something I certainly will , but she’s always…
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Coping with disease progression
My mom is in a good MC receiving high quality care. Before that she was also in a good AL/MC, albeit one not equipped to deal with more advanced dementia. Now, I find myself watching my mom progress and filled with sadness. She is comfortable, clean (a miracle, given that she has a lot of incontinence issues), and still…
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We took a nap
When I got to MC this afternoon, DH was lying in bed. I teased him about being in bed all day and he said he had just gotten there and was tired. I usually sit on the edge of his bed and visit with him and then try to get him up. Today, kind of on a whim, I got his extra pillow and crawled in beside him. The bed is small…
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Looking for Support: MCI Diagnosis with Normal Test Results at 51
Hi everyone. I'm looking for others who might have gone through something similar. I'm 51 and recently received a diagnosis of mild cognitive impairment (MCI) after experiencing memory issues, headaches, and possibly some minor balance issues. Given that my mother has Alzheimer's (I'm her primary caregiver), this diagnosis…
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Moving DW to Memory Care
How do I tell my DW that she needs to move to a Memory Care facility? She get angry very easily and she says she doesn't want to lose me. Our children are supportive, yet this is a very stressful time. Don't know how to handle it.
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Alzheimer’s-Posterior Cortical Atrophy
Don’t remember if I posted this already but I recently realized symptoms my husband had early on several years way before diagnosis. He complained of dry eyes but I think he just couldn’t describe what he was seeing. He also had difficulty spelling common words and doing simple math. He became obsessed with the garbage,…
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Bedrail advice
My Dad keep saying his neck hurts because he falls out of bed at his facility. He has had a neck cramp since my mom died two months ago, so we really are not sure if he fell out of bed. He is in his own bed, which is a sleep number mattress on a sleep number box spring, on a typical bed frame. So any device can go under…
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Just got pet results
I’m freaking out because it appears to me that it’s saying I have ad. Now to wait for my appointment to go over my bloodwork and pet results in two weeks. Unfortunately my family has a strong history of early onset dementia, but still, 42 is the youngest in my family if it’s true. I’m hoping doing some research will help…
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Me time in the morning
For 50 years DH enjoyed having his morning cup of coffee in the den watching the news. I enjoyed my time in the kitchen having my cup waking up straightening up! More and more he has been in the kitchen sitting in my chair watching every move I make. I understand why but it’s driving me crazy! I miss “my morning” time! We…
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Another fall
And another injury to the same arm she tore open 6 weeks ago. No pool of blood this time, but a small fracture at the top of her shoulder (acromion, no displacement of the AC joint for the medical folks here). They wouldn't have found it if I hadn't pushed for more evaluation after the plain films were done on the arm and…
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Loved one in facility
Hello everyone. I am thinking about getting my LO in a facility, as I am unable to get back to work otherwise. My question is...for those who have your LO in a facility and you take them out for the day for whatever reason, is it easy to get them to go back to the facility, or do they hesitate and argue. Just trying to…
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Books about Alzheimer's Disease
I want to start a thread for books regarding Alzheimer's Disease and caregiving. I invite anyone with a pertinent book about Alzheimer's Disease or the other dementias to post. If someone has the link for Understanding the Dementia Experience, please post it here, so new members can readily find it. The first book I want…
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Memory care concerns
My mom has been in memory since 2022. She’s had a moderate decline since going in. Few issues but seems content. Went to visit her Tuesday. I got told the other night they saw blood in moms pull up. Maybe a uti. Head nurse calls me just now and says Dr sees red pimples on mom’s private and red lines and thinks squamous…
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Costs of early to middle stage care
I am looking at purchasing some long term care coverage. One that I like starts benefits when I can't do two of the six activities of daily living (ADLs), like dressing, hygiene and eating. Others start benefits EITHER for that, or for having cognitive impairment. I assume that there are circumstances in which I could have…
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Talking with others in early stage dementia
Talking with others in early stage dementia
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How to get over how mad dad was at me for moving him to ALF
My dad passed away two months ago. It came four months after I moved him and my mother to an ALF. Mom has moderate dementia. Dad had COPD and late-stage CHF when I moved them. It was clear to me in the few months prior to the move that dad had become too unwell to care for himself or mom appropriately. I did not know he…
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Living with a parent with early onset dementia
Hello 👋🏽 I am new to taking care of a parent with dementia. It has been a complete struggle for me. I am a single mother to a beautiful son who is diagnosed with autism. My mother was told by her doctor that he is taking away her drivers license and has asked me to “hide” her car. She is now questioning me about her car…
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Angry at optimists
Anyone else get super upset when caregivers tell you how great your loved one is doing because they ate? Oh, Dad’s doing so well. He ate all his lunch. Look. I know you don’t know my dad pre-late stage Alzheimer’s. But MY DAD, the person, not the body, is not doing great. And I find it so condescending when people tell me…
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Struggling with parent who is avoiding confirming diagnosis.
Hello! I’m looking for advice: Some background: my maternal grandmother and her eight siblings all suffered with Alzheimer’s. My grandmother was diagnosed at the age of 74 and lived until she was 83. My 73 yo mom, who cared for my grandmother, is slipping fast. All the same behaviors, personality changes, etc. however, she…
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Fell again
My dad, 89 with VD, fell again. In January 2023, he broke his back, then a few months later he fell and fractured his pelvis. Then this year he fell 3 more times but with minor injuries. However, today hell fell and fractured his humerus in 2 places, fractured his right hip and femur. I think my dad can only take so much.…
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Wonders of cognition
Yesterday my husband spelled his first name incorrectly on a coloring page, but an hour later while outdoors on a walk, he heard a motorcycle roaring and exclaimed, “Did you hear that motorcycle in this cold weather”! A compound thought! He has a South African aide with an accent who says his name over and over when she…
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Guilt about memory care/Assisted living
I signed the paperwork for my Dad to live in a memory care facility. He is 83 and has late onset Alzheimer’s with mood disturbance (mostly anxiety, he is not aggressive). I keep talking with him about selling the house but he cannot remember day to day we talked about it. He moves Monday. My cousin is giving me a break…
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Suggestions for Activities?
My DH was diagnosed about 3 months ago with EOAD, at age 57. His biggest symptom is aphasia/difficulty communicating, as well as loss of executive functioning. He does not have significant memory loss. He has no problem doing ADL, and can still go on walks solo, etc. Our issue is that the aphasia and loss of executive…
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I need help
my husband will not shower anymore. I have to learn not to ask him anymore because it’s wearing me out. Shaving too although eventually he does shave. He’s sleeping until 2 pm. I wish he were ready for memory care meaning he will refuse to go. I don’t know what to do anymore. He’s wearing me out. I think I’ll get in touch…
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sundowning
My mother is 84 and has been sundowning for almost a year. It occurs when she asks about her husband (my father) who passed away 7 years ago. My brother and I started out with the approach of just telling her the truth which I know is considered a bad idea. But here it the problem, we have tried other approaches. It was…
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Blame Game
Is everything your fault? Always.
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Had to separate mom and dad between Missouri and Arizona
Has anyone here ever dealt with needing to separate spouses from each other because of the caregiver situation? My younger sister is able to start caring for my dad because my mom really cannot take care of him. They typically spent their winters in Arizona, but now mom is living back at their home in Missouri, but dad is…
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Loves the family members that don’t help
My mom will brag to anyone who will listen about my sister and brother but when it comes to me, the one who is actually taking care of everything, the one who she is living with- nothing Don’t give me wrong I don’t want. Do I need to be In anybody’s eyes, but it sure would be nice to get a pat on the back every once in a…
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Happy Friday!
Happy Friday to all the spouse and partner caregivers! Do something nice for yourself this weekend, however small! Sending love & hugs!
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Move her closer to me
Hi, I'm seeking advice from those who have experienced this. Short back story, my wife has been in memory care in Fresno Ca. for 2 1/2 years. Her son lives seven miles from where she is and sees her twice a week. She is currently level six. I live in Boise Idaho. I moved here to be close to my daughters because of health…