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Caring for parents - Long distance
New here, live out of state of my parents. Dad is over 90, now in a long term care facility for almost a year. Recently formally diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Mentally he continues to deteriorate but for the moment he seems medically stable otherwise. My concern now is my mom, approx 90. She is having fairly severe short…
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Trouble lifting
I am brand new to this online discussion board. It’s been a hard longer years caring for my parents. My 92 yr old dad insists on keeping mom at home and we have paid caretakers for my mom who is 88 with late stage dementia. Just recently in the last two weeks she is no longer able to walk with her walker stand alone and…
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Mom is still Transitioning
This means dieing and it's been two days and she hasn't passed away yet. What should I be doing, while waiting. I am sick, tired, exhausted, and emotionally drained. But can't sleep. I was thinking about calling my family but they are feeling the same. I went to church and prayed. I have my cross next to me just waiting…
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Any Heterozygotes on Donanemab?
Got my APOE results back and I am E3/E4. Waiting for my next appt with the NP to discuss next steps. I know that E4/E4 is pretty much a no go for Donanemab. E3/E4 is supposedly 50% less chance of ARIA, but still a risk. My Centiloid is 144. So, lots of existing plaques. Donanemab is for clearing those. Lecanemab is for…
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Different respite question
Because my husband is on Hospice, I can get a three day respite. He would go to a Hospice house that is secure. My question is this: What would things be like once he came back to our home? Would he be more confused? Would it make things worse with his behaviors? Can anyone comment on their own experiences with their LO…
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Terminal Lucidity
My dad fell two months ago. Seemed to have accelerated Alzheimer’s. He pretty much stopped eating since and recently was only drinking very little. This past week he was admitted to hospital with severe dehydration. The dehydration caused his heart rate to accelerate to 130-140 and blood pressure to be lower at 95/60. I…
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Is sending a letter to mom with the truth a bad idea?
my second post here. I was light on details the first time. Mom has been in MC for about a year after being diagnosed with dementia. I was concerned about cognitive decline but ignoring it. She has had a lifelong distrust of the medical system so had not had regular medical checkups to monitor anything. There is also some…
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Hurt Feelings
A bit of background. I’m 69, my DH is 81. We have been together 35 years. I was a widow with two young daughters. He was divorced with no children. He raised my girls and they love him. We have 3 grandchildren. About 6 years ago we did a living trust with both girls splitting whatever we have. Last night, out of the blue,…
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Wants to constantly use the bathroom.
Hi I am new looking for some advise on maybe how to distract my person from this behavior. My DH is in moderate stage Alz. He does not understand time and has just started becoming obsessed about using the bathroom to urinate. He will use the bathroom and a few minutes later wants try again and of course cannot go and…
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I’ve never lived there.
Tonight my DH asked me to take him to the city he grew up in, home. He even recited his old childhood address which no longer exists. I asked him if he ever lived in _________(the name of our town). He said no, I’ve never lived there, but I did live in Chicago for 11 yrs. I thought how sad, all the memories in our house…
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Mom passed away 10/5/25 at 12:09 pm
She is in Heaven now. And a sleep not suffering anymore. Thank you God for mercy. Jesus preached the good news. He said if we believe in him we will be with him in heaven. And when Jesus returns he will raise the dead and death will be no more in a new Kingdom under him. My Mother was a minister with her Church and…
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I wont let dementia steal any more…
I saw this today in a divorce Facebook group and it hit home. A daughter told her Mom who didn’t want to decorate for the holidays to not allow divorce to steal your joy. Dementia took so much. Our future and my soulmate. I am going to work very hard to not allow it to steal my joy and the rest of my life. My husband…
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Hello! ☺️
I'm new here, I am an adult taking care of my elderly mom who was recently diagnosed with Dementia. I often find it difficult to understand her strange choices and behavior, and become highly stressed over them. I am wondering whether anyone else is familiar with this, and have any information on how best to help her.
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My mom just said she is the most comfortable she has been in her life
I know this won’t last. She came home for a visit. We’re hanging out on the couch watching Yule log after a meal I cooked (poorly). She is on hospice, needs an aide 6 hours a day, and hardly says full words. But for just one moment…I asked if she was comfortable and she looked at me and said “believe it or not, I’m…
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Alcohol and dementia
My DH was diagnosed with early onset dementia 3 months ago. It was suggested he limit alcohol to 2 or 3 drinks a day. He has been regularly drinking each day at mid-afternoon and passes out by 6 pm for a couple of hours. He cut back briefly but he’s gradually increasing again. We had an argument about it tonight and I got…
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Any heterozygotes on Donanemab?
Got my APOE results back and I am E3/E4. Waiting for my next appt with the NP to discuss next steps. I know that E4/E4 is pretty much a no go for Donanemab. E3/E4 is supposedly 50% less chance of ARIA, but still a risk. My Centiloid is 144. So, lots of existing plaques. Donanemab is for clearing those. Lecanemab is for…
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Does anyone else feel this way?
I’ve been on this site now 3 yrs ever since wife diagnosed with mild Dementia, I’ve read books seen videos and heard numerous stories on this site. Wife in stage 4-5. Still takes care of herself other then no driving and cooking and short memory has gotten worse and does get confused. My question is do any of you feel that…
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Don't know where we are in this
My 65 y.o. DH was diagnosed with early stage Alzheimer's this past July. I know things haven't been right for a couple years even before the diagnosis. I didn't know much of anything about AD and I'm trying to learn. He is still fully functional, has a lot of trouble remembering words, losing his train of thought, working…
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Accusations
i am new to the group….my DH has early stage dementia..he hasnt been tested as he refuses…the accusations and delusions are getting much more frequent..the dr prescribed meds for his anxiety but he is refusing to take all his meds as he says i am trying to kill him….he is with me always..refuses to have me go anywhere on…
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Dealership sold car to father just before Alzheimer diagnosis
He lived a couple hours away when this occurred, we were still working towards an understanding on what was causing the repetition in conversation. At the same time he had been making his rounds around a few dealerships, picked out a blazer at one to purchase and showed up at a Hyundai dealer with that blazer flyer only…
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UTI
DH had a low grade fever this morn, 99.7, gave aspirin, agitated more than norm. I used the home UTI test strip and showed positive for UTI. We went to ER with urine sample in hand. ER said couldn't use the sample, no problem, cause DH soon needed to relieve himself again. ER tested fresh sample and said negative for UTI.…
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Terminal Lucidity?
My dad fell two months ago. Seemed to have accelerated Alzheimer’s. He pretty much stopped eating since and recently was only drinking very little. This past week he was admitted to hospital with severe dehydration. The dehydration caused his heart rate to accelerate to 130-140 and blood pressure to be lower at 95/60. I…
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Caregiver, What It Means
I was very lucky to find several people to assist me as caregivers to care for my dear wife over the last 8-10 months of her life. Caregivers for loved ones with this horrible disease that brings us all here are quite special in my opinion. To be a successful caregiver for one with this disease requires more of the…
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A resource for guilt and resentment
I found a resource to help myself, and anyone who struggles w/resentment and the guilt that comes with it. As I was listening to the audiobook version of The Unexpected Journey by Emma Heming-Willis for at least the fourth time, one chapter really struck me this time… Chapter Six: Expect an Array of Emotions. In this…
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Whyyyy!!!?????
I can't do this. I lost my love Luis (46 yo eoa) just yesterday morning but it feels much longer. I cried going to bed last night thinking what do I do tomorrow? He won't be in the bedroom when I get up, with his legs up in the fetal position cycling them back and forth. Who is going to watch me get ready in the morning…
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It's been four months since DW died
I am hanging in , mostly.
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Update: Mood swings and anger issues
I want to think everyone who responded to my last post. That night I got a call from hospice to discuss my wife’s condition. I mentioned her anger and was told that the memory care staff had Lorazepam on hand that they could give her with my permission. I said that was alright with me and was told it would be passed on. On…
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cant do it anymore
I have finally reached breaking point to look after my dad anymore too many obsticales by his ex wife who is involved . if i walk away am i a bad person
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How to have patience and not start resenting your spouse.
Hi: My DW has had VD for 3 years and I'm the sole care giver. It's 24/7 year-round. Today she woke me screaming to come wipe her bottom. Yes, I have had to do many times, but to get woke up out of a deep sleep to her screaming clean my bottom. I almost lost my temper; how does someone not get up start resenting your…
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I'm feeling a little disturbed
My parent called me upset that she had received notice that a family friend had just passed away unexpectedly. She had this whole elaborate story abut how she received notice via a phone call and was quite upset about this as this is someone she interacts with in the present. Her recollection was so vivid and her emotions…