-
Breaking Appliances
My father has developed a tendency to break appliances in our home, adding a new layer of complexity to our responsibilities. Over time, he has managed to break the washing machine, dryer, oven, and now the refrigerator, which is barely functioning due to the damage. We have been left to find alternative solutions for…
-
Lack of Showering
Our father has been going for extended periods without showering or changing his clothes (40 days at a time), which has led to skin lesions. He has incontinence-related issues too. These challenges can be difficult to address, especially when faced with the limitations set by authorities who claim our father has…
-
Vulgar language around kids
my mom (66 years young) is in the late stages. I have a 3 year old son who adores her but in the last few months she’s been very aggressive and mean. She’s begun to swear a lot, using really foul language, saying the worst things imaginable in front of my son. I don’t know what to do. He’s old enough to catch on, but too…
-
Vermin Rat and Mouse Problem
About four years ago California's Governor Newsom banned rat and mouse poison replacing it with birth control in an effort to save the mountain lions and wildlife. Unfortunately this has created an increasing epidemic of vermin. The entire neighborhood as well as others I speak with locally are suffering. This is…
-
To all caregivers Merry Christmas....
Oh how the holidays have changed. Blessed are the caregivers like me.
-
Holes in the walls
Our father has been cutting out holes in the walls, creating a significant challenge for my sister and I. We have so many repairs to do after he dies. We have found that taking away tools does not deter him from causing damage, as he resorts to using alternative objects, such as metal rods or other items he can find in the…
-
Our father used to kill animals, now he watches animal videos.
Our father has a violent aversion to animals and is aggressive towards them. He has a history of killing chickens, dogs, cats, and hates bird feeders. We've taken steps to try and distance him from wildlife and pets. We were able to rehome some of them, but after losing lives. Initially, he was secretive about his actions,…
-
Lack of showering
Our father has been going for extended periods (40 days at a time) without showering or changing his clothes, which has led to skin lesions. He also has incontinence issues on top of it. We are limited in our ability to intervene due to legal restrictions making these challenges difficult to address, especially when faced…
-
On-going hygiene issues
My DH won't shower unless he had to go somewhere which is now once every week to ten days. I can try all the tricks I've read about setting up the bathroom or offering to help and it doesn't make a difference. He doesn't want to go out to eat, or shop, or for a drive so bribing him with those events doesn't help. He may…
-
Untreated Nurosyphilis Dementia
We've quickly realized the importance of connecting with others who understand what we're going through. We're currently caring for our father, who has been suffering from untreated Neurosyphilis, GPI, Tabes Dorsalis, and dementia for several years now. Despite our best efforts to convince him to seek treatment, he has…
-
Memory Care and/or Assisted Living facilities in Seattle?
Hi, I am currently in the weeds of looking at memory care facilities in the Seattle area for my father (has had Alzheimers for approx 10 years, mid stage, but moving more towards later stage). Additionally his wife (current caregiver) was also recently diagnosed with early dementia. Ideally I would love to find a place for…
-
I have Covid and DH in MC is on the verge of pneumonia
What a way to end the year! I came down with Covid this week and the Dr. prescribed Paxlovid. Unfortunatley, I am having a reaction to it and have had to stop taking it. Meanwhile, DH has a deep cough and his lungs are filling up. The nurse said he is heading into pneumonia. His oxygen level is still good though so he is…
-
When to seek hospice assessment?
Hi, My mother is my father main caregiver but I see her increasingly doing more than her body can handle. She is not getting enough sleep because he keeps her up at night. She has to hold him up, and now she's starting to feed him. My father is a different person he was in the Spring. Now he sleeps constantly and barely…
-
Our Father is Obsessed with Turning Off the Utilities
One of the most challenging aspects of caregiving for a loved one with late-stage untreated Neurosyphilis dementia, GPI, and tabes dorsalis is managing their behavior and preventing them from causing harm to themselves or others. Recently, my father has developed a concerning preoccupation with utility services, such as…
-
Pooping in the Shower
Recently, we've observed a concerning shift in my father's behavior, which has added a new layer of complexity to our caregiving responsibilities. While my father's actions may seem intentional and without shame, it's essential to understand that this behavior is likely a result of his cognitive impairments and the…
-
How to support emotionally who got diagnosed?
My parent got diagnosed with Alzheimer's. She understood the diagnosis because the dr said that the MRI definitively showed it. My parent accepted this as the truth. For her the diagnosis came out of nowhere as she is unaware of her symptoms of cognitive decline. She was sad and expressed not wanting to be a burden to…
-
Mom with dementia moved to AL and misses her house. Can she go back and say bye to it?
Hello All. I recently had to put my mother into AL due to her dementia and she never had a chance to day goodbye to her house. We sold the house and I am wondering if I could take her back to it to say "goodbye?" Since she left she was crying daily about missing it and I am scared if I take her back, she will relapse into…
-
Something I have never seen discussed here
We all know there are conditions that mimic dementia, and when caught early can cause the symptoms to be a thing of the past. But one thing I've always wondered is what percentage of people being tested for dementia are found to have a condition that is treatable, and therefore dementia can be avoided? I've never seen any…
-
Death of a parent with Alzheimer's
Hello I'm Matt me and my mom was caregivers to my dad who had the Alzheimer's we kept him home me and her faught along side him and his doctors he was 51 when he was diagnosed with dementia and he mad it to see his 71st birthday in September sadly he lost his battle on November the 14th at 2:00am it's still so hard to…
-
New Here - 33 looking for support for mother diagnosed with AD
I am not normally one to reach out for support in this format but I feel very isolated in my mother’s recent Alzheimer’s diagnosis. We have seen her condition worsen over the last few years and last year there was a huge red flag for us when she couldn’t remember opening gifts at Christmas. I was 2 weeks postpartum and…
-
DH diagnosed in Moderate Stage
Our first appointment with Geriatric doctor today was good and i was happy with time she spent with my DH. She did some testing and after 3 years with MCI, was not surprised that he was diagnosed in Moderate stage. It is the longest stage, but can move faster with illness or life events. Since he is not displaying any…
-
From the NYT: The Lives They Led
This end-of-year article includes a section on Naomi Feil. You'll need to scroll down quite a bit to find it. https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2024/12/20/magazine/people-who-died.html?unlocked_article_code=1.jE4.z51J.efbTs9_Va8M0&smid=url-share
-
Trazadone for sleep
Hi all, Has anyone had experience with Trazadone for sleep with the PWD. My LO stays up till 4 or 5am and then sleeps till almost 2pm if we don’t get him up and going. The Dr prescribed 50mg of Trazadone for sleep. I’m reluctant because of all the side effects. I have previously trying to wake him earlier and get him on a…
-
Daughter helping care of DW
I searched all over for comments about my daughter helping me care for my DW. Most of what I saw were complaints/concerns about lack of help. So is it reasonable for me to think that we can do it? And for how long? DW was diagnosed MCI in 2016 and AD 2018. Age 73. Behaviors don't perfectly fit a stage, but it is probably…
-
Where do I get simple help for meds and eating
My mom is still at home. She is doing physically very well. She is active in the community, volunteers, plays bridge, goes to church and drives. However, she has meds for diabetes, memory and high blood pressure that she won't take on a consistent basis, mostly out of defiance. This, along with not eating well, leads to…
-
Christmas Cards
In a year filled with bad news, I am sitting here with a box of Christmas cards wondering what to write. I want to send cards; this is the only contact I have with many of the friends and relatives on my list. Caregiving is isolating enough without letting my last few contacts in the outside world slip through my fingers.…
-
Forgetting how to get in bed
Anyone dealt with a fairly functiontioning PWD but whom can’t seem to remember how to get herself in bed? My mom is still in AL despite some decline recently. She’s still able to use toilet and bathe herself, feed herself so not quite ready for MC (she doesn’t wander either). Previously she’d get herself in bed like a…
-
Aggression and violence-early onset
Hi I have a dear friend that is dealing with her husbands combative, violent aggression. He is an early onset patient and 70 years young. He was placed in MC and they had to transport him to ER because he was harming the staff. The ER sent him to a geriatric psych facility 2 hours away. After 10 days there the psych…
-
Eating less & sleeping more
I guess this is “normal” progression, but my DH has been eating half as much for a while and has been sleeping a few extra hours a day for a couple of months now. I put him somewhere in stage 6. Today, he put himself to bed at about 7 pm and ate very little. I guess I’m freaking out a little b/c I’m seeing (maybe a faster)…
-
behavioral advice needed
Hi, A few months ago my husband and I joined a state funded Medicaid/Medicare association that provides day care, OT, PT, medical care, etc. So far it's been great for both of us as he is an 85 yr old with ALZ and I am his wife/caretaker, 75 year old with physical disabilities. We go 3 days a week to the daycare to give me…