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Moving DW to Memory Care
How do I tell my DW that she needs to move to a Memory Care facility? She get angry very easily and she says she doesn't want to lose me. Our children are supportive, yet this is a very stressful time. Don't know how to handle it.
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Alzheimer’s-Posterior Cortical Atrophy
Don’t remember if I posted this already but I recently realized symptoms my husband had early on several years way before diagnosis. He complained of dry eyes but I think he just couldn’t describe what he was seeing. He also had difficulty spelling common words and doing simple math. He became obsessed with the garbage,…
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Me time in the morning
For 50 years DH enjoyed having his morning cup of coffee in the den watching the news. I enjoyed my time in the kitchen having my cup waking up straightening up! More and more he has been in the kitchen sitting in my chair watching every move I make. I understand why but it’s driving me crazy! I miss “my morning” time! We…
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Another fall
And another injury to the same arm she tore open 6 weeks ago. No pool of blood this time, but a small fracture at the top of her shoulder (acromion, no displacement of the AC joint for the medical folks here). They wouldn't have found it if I hadn't pushed for more evaluation after the plain films were done on the arm and…
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Loved one in facility
Hello everyone. I am thinking about getting my LO in a facility, as I am unable to get back to work otherwise. My question is...for those who have your LO in a facility and you take them out for the day for whatever reason, is it easy to get them to go back to the facility, or do they hesitate and argue. Just trying to…
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Costs of early to middle stage care
I am looking at purchasing some long term care coverage. One that I like starts benefits when I can't do two of the six activities of daily living (ADLs), like dressing, hygiene and eating. Others start benefits EITHER for that, or for having cognitive impairment. I assume that there are circumstances in which I could have…
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Living with a parent with early onset dementia
Hello 👋🏽 I am new to taking care of a parent with dementia. It has been a complete struggle for me. I am a single mother to a beautiful son who is diagnosed with autism. My mother was told by her doctor that he is taking away her drivers license and has asked me to “hide” her car. She is now questioning me about her car…
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Angry at optimists
Anyone else get super upset when caregivers tell you how great your loved one is doing because they ate? Oh, Dad’s doing so well. He ate all his lunch. Look. I know you don’t know my dad pre-late stage Alzheimer’s. But MY DAD, the person, not the body, is not doing great. And I find it so condescending when people tell me…
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Struggling with parent who is avoiding confirming diagnosis.
Hello! I’m looking for advice: Some background: my maternal grandmother and her eight siblings all suffered with Alzheimer’s. My grandmother was diagnosed at the age of 74 and lived until she was 83. My 73 yo mom, who cared for my grandmother, is slipping fast. All the same behaviors, personality changes, etc. however, she…
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Fell again
My dad, 89 with VD, fell again. In January 2023, he broke his back, then a few months later he fell and fractured his pelvis. Then this year he fell 3 more times but with minor injuries. However, today hell fell and fractured his humerus in 2 places, fractured his right hip and femur. I think my dad can only take so much.…
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Wonders of cognition
Yesterday my husband spelled his first name incorrectly on a coloring page, but an hour later while outdoors on a walk, he heard a motorcycle roaring and exclaimed, “Did you hear that motorcycle in this cold weather”! A compound thought! He has a South African aide with an accent who says his name over and over when she…
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Guilt about memory care/Assisted living
I signed the paperwork for my Dad to live in a memory care facility. He is 83 and has late onset Alzheimer’s with mood disturbance (mostly anxiety, he is not aggressive). I keep talking with him about selling the house but he cannot remember day to day we talked about it. He moves Monday. My cousin is giving me a break…
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I need help
my husband will not shower anymore. I have to learn not to ask him anymore because it’s wearing me out. Shaving too although eventually he does shave. He’s sleeping until 2 pm. I wish he were ready for memory care meaning he will refuse to go. I don’t know what to do anymore. He’s wearing me out. I think I’ll get in touch…
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sundowning
My mother is 84 and has been sundowning for almost a year. It occurs when she asks about her husband (my father) who passed away 7 years ago. My brother and I started out with the approach of just telling her the truth which I know is considered a bad idea. But here it the problem, we have tried other approaches. It was…
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Had to separate mom and dad between Missouri and Arizona
Has anyone here ever dealt with needing to separate spouses from each other because of the caregiver situation? My younger sister is able to start caring for my dad because my mom really cannot take care of him. They typically spent their winters in Arizona, but now mom is living back at their home in Missouri, but dad is…
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Loves the family members that don’t help
My mom will brag to anyone who will listen about my sister and brother but when it comes to me, the one who is actually taking care of everything, the one who she is living with- nothing Don’t give me wrong I don’t want. Do I need to be In anybody’s eyes, but it sure would be nice to get a pat on the back every once in a…
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Happy Friday!
Happy Friday to all the spouse and partner caregivers! Do something nice for yourself this weekend, however small! Sending love & hugs!
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Move her closer to me
Hi, I'm seeking advice from those who have experienced this. Short back story, my wife has been in memory care in Fresno Ca. for 2 1/2 years. Her son lives seven miles from where she is and sees her twice a week. She is currently level six. I live in Boise Idaho. I moved here to be close to my daughters because of health…
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CPAP challenges
My mother and I are caring for my father with Alzheimer’s. We have tried everything but we cannot get my father to use his CPAP. Curious if others struggle with this and have any advice or resources to share? It’s mostly behavioral and irritability — he takes it off after being frustrated and everyone has gone to sleep.
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How many broken TVs is the limit?
DH gets peeved some nights if I ask him to brush his teeth and he gets worked up if his phone charger is not cooperating & this has led to an eruption of him throwing his phone on a few occasions. Last time he broke the TV. Time before just missed my head. He threw it tonight & I have not checked the TV for damage…just…
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Facebook?
DH is at a point where technology is meaningless. He uses neither phone nor tv remote. The computer and ipad have been ignored for a year. I have solved the problem of his phone and email messages, but what do I do with his Facebook account? He recently had a birthday and people were posting birthday wishes to him. I…
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Need advice....
I have DPOA but not guardianship of my Mom who has moderate dementia (Alzheimer's and vascular) Do I need to get guardianship to place her if she is refusing? She is currently living with me and it is getting to be too much for myself and my daughter, I am a single mom and work full time with CG's at my house with her…
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Parent away from home and away from spouse
My dad is now living with my sister in Arizona because she is able to care for him. My mother is back in their permanent home in St. Louis, Missouri. It’s difficult for them to be apart, but my sisters want to limit the communication between them because my dad gets irritated and it makes him want to go home or talk about…
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[mouth hanging open]
Just had a phone conversation with my DH’s stepmom. She asked very specifically how I was doing, and then filled me in on what she was doing. Toward the end of the call, she finally asked how my DH, her stepson, was doing, but prefaced her question with, “but just a little bit; I don’t want to be sad.” I was flummoxed. As…
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Visiting DON'T
I went to visit my dh yesterday, as I usually do on Sundays, but this time when we got to the exit door there was traffic. I waited for the person to finish coming in and for the door to lock before I entered the code and gave my dh "last hug" as I usually do. Just then several people arrived to come in so I slipped out,…
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Pulling the trigger on memory care
I am currently contemplating placing my DW into memory care. My original plan was to care for her at home until she died. I am beginning to feel overwhelmed and my health is beginning to suffer. Of course, I have all the conflicted feelings (guilt, feeling like I am abandoning her, etc). What pushed you over the edge and…
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Let me whine.
Seriously feeling sorry for myself today. Please understand I love DH. What he's going through is worse than what I am. BUT… I'm still feeling sorry for myself. This disease goes on FOREVER. Symptoms first showed up 16+ years ago. When I was barely into my 40s (DH was about 45) and still a stay at home mom. I went back to…
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Update on Mom in AL
It has now been about 2 months since she has been in AL, and 10 weeks since she broke her wrist. The bones are officially healing. She asks almost every visit when she will move back to IL. She is playing bridge once a week (kudos to the rec director who started it as an official activity - after a few weeks it whittled…
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New here
My mom was diagnosed just this year. I think she's in the early stages of Alzheimer's. But seems to be progressing unfortunately! My brother and I are the only children from my parents. My dad is the primary caretaker for my mom considering they live together. My brother lives next door and I live an hour away. My brother…
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Managing Work and Caregiving
I am struggling with how to juggle both a full time job and caregiving. My DH was dignosed with Alzheimer's at 60…4 years later and I am thinking it is time to leave work and stay home full time with him as I am worried about his recent decline. Also, thinking I need to sell our home to fund his care…so much anxiety over…