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I have no idea what he means...
Many times I can interpret what my DH is trying to say, or I can give a satisfactory answer to some question even if I'm not sure what he's asking. But a few times lately, he fixates on something and repeatedly mentions it and I have no idea what he means. I take a guess and give an answer but I know the comment will come…
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In Person Support Group & Volunteering Disappointment
My third attempt at joining an in person support group was a bust. In our prior home, the first meeting I went to, no one showed. The second, (different group) I tried, three people were there. The leader monopolized the meeting with her personal journey and no one was a full time caregiver except me. Now in the new…
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Hi
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Problem with Eating
My DH is stage 6 Alzheimer and ten days ago was accepted for Hospice care. He has always used utensils and honestly uses forks and spoons when it would be easier to eat the food with his hands, such as he will cut up sandwiches and use a fork to eat them. So he is still using utensils to eat but the last couple of days he…
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DH Forgot His Own Name
This wasn’t as much of a gut punch as DH forgetting who I am. DH had an appt with his PCP this past week and when we went to check in - which he prefers to do himself - the woman asked him for him name. He looked at me and said “What is it?” I thought he was being snarky and didn’t respond. He looked at me and again asked…
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Fixing Others People’s Problems
Since when is it okay to interfere, offer unsolicited suggestions, services under the pretext of “helping”. Is it really helping the other person or helping yourself attain attention, praise etc. How can someone not know the difference and fine line between helping and intrusion? Really…I want to know. 🫥
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Coughing and Swallowing
My wife is in Stage 4 ALZ but seems healthy except for serious memory issues. She developed a chronic cough last Winter which persists today. Lately she occasionally has trouble swallowing food. Also her appetite is diminished. I'm suspecting this is ALZ related. Have others out there seen these symptoms?
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Stage 8 fast approaching
I’m sitting in hospice days away from DH passing. I’ve been here for over 2 weeks staying in his room because of his special needs. Feeling I don’t want to go home afterwards, don’t want to sleep in our bed, or go to places we were always in together. I don’t want to stay with friends. I may go to a hotel for a few nights.…
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Just need to talk to my friends (198)
Time to begin a new segment of our thread. Hope everyone is well. Been a quiet day here. Hasn't been too hot but the heat is coming next week. Heat index up to 112. Sleep well. See you tomorrow.
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Help
Good afternoon all. I am new to the group, but not new to the feelings associated with being a caregiver to someone who is aging and losing their mental capacity. My mom, who will be 82 in November, and lives with my husband and I, is exhibiting more signs of dementia, and it is becoming worse. I am at my lowest point to…
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Distance Aunts, Uncle - #Busybodies#Meddlers
Mom comes from large family. There are (4) live siblings in other states who only offer lip service and are intrusive and intentionally go against mom's wishes (call police for wellness checks, call the church to inform mom's in hospital or rehab, call elder protective services, etc.) They harass and violate her right to…
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DW possibly getting ready to transition.
Transition, the word they use now. She is on antibiotics again and she's been really out of it lately and not eating much. They have been hand feeding her for a while now. The nurse said she might return to baseline in a few days or she could be getting ready to "transition". If she continues to eat less and less then it's…
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Study re: thickening liquids for dementia patients not helpful
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/09/14/health/medical-practices-treatments-patients.html?unlocked_article_code=1.Kk4.dDUs.VucQhUUuduot&smid=url-share
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Paranoid delusions
My mother believes that one of my half brothers drove here from two and a half hours away to steal her phone. The oldest half brother died of cancer in January 2021. Between then and the interment this past spring, she was convinced that the youngest half brother was stealing his brother’s ashes several times. It’s painful…
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Paranoia/Delusions While On Donezepil and Now Memantine?
Hi, all, Long story short, my mom took Donezepil and Sertraline for about a month earlier this year. Her cognitive abilities improved, and we were psyched. And then…she started having paranoia and delusions, nightmares, and something like a psychotic break happened. Her doctors didn't think that Donezepil was the cause,…
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So many things to do
Finally got a free 15min phone consultation with elder law this coming Monday. Mom gave me her car so I have to drive her everywhere. I have been getting info on several AL facilities around town. Mom is admitting she needs my help more and more. I see my parents 3-4 days a week now. She is starting to trust me and sharing…
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Narcissists & Dementia/Alz
My mom is using me as a scapegoat. She said she tells people things, they don’t listen but what I observe is different. Talking to her is useless…she says she doesn’t want to talk to gossiping sister but when she calls it’s heyyy 😃 while 👀 at me. She’s one of them in fact as the oldest the leader who says one thing and…
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Sundowning
First episode last night. This new thing is sure does suck. My poor DW. I hate this disease so damn much.
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memory loss
DH, diagnosed ES ALZ in June has been losing words for some time now, and that seems to be accelerating. This week he lost memory of two of his life events, one the wedding of our 2nd daughter some years ago. Yesterday, he asked me what I was listening to (bible in a year with Fr. Mike). His comment: "that sounds…
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Buying things
My Dad still lives at home with my Mom, he had a stroke 9 years ago and developed dementia pretty quickly. We are in the process of getting him in a long term care facility because my Mom can no longer care for him. We need help though, he still has a golf cart and he goes for the store everyday and they let him get stuff…
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Take me home, I want to go home
I’ve dreaded this day for so long. I brought my mom to a memory care facility today. I told her it was temporary while my dad and I were out of town but she could tell by looking around what was going on. She said - this is not right, I want to go home, take me home I try to tell myself this is safer for her. But I’m just…
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Type of humor that works with PWD
Doctor gave me a handout on things that helps with brain health for PWD, and it included humor. I realize it depends on the person and stage, but I suspect that "juvenile" humor works with PWD, compared to clever things that may be hard to grasp. So this may include things like simple puns, knock knock jokes or even potty…
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An Anomaly?
With DH's recent "miraculous" recovery, his PCP now thinks DH may not be suffering from LBD. He thinks DH's psychotic episodes may have been caused by some other unknown disease or Hashimoto's Disease, but DH has been taking thyroid medication for over 15 yrs. He mentioned some test to confirm the theory, but I can't…
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Update
I have been wanting to post and let you all know how things were going but kept waiting for a meeting with the doctor. Well, that has not happened. The new administrator at DH MC asked the social worker to set up a meeting for me. That woman called almost two weeks ago and said she was going to do that. She never called…
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Riding the struggle bus
It's been 3 months since DH moved to an assisted living. I thought it would relieve some stress, but it hasn't. I am confident in the placement, the staff has been great. However, my husband has declined so much so fast. I fight feeling guilty all time even though I know it's impossible to have him home. I go visit almost…
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Hallucinations Delusions that won’t stop
Hi My Mother in Law was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s 6 years ago and has been experiencing auditory hallucinations for the last 2 years. In the past 6 months they’ve turned into full on delusions that are continuous and is afraid. She asked to be with us for the last 2 weeks because “they” (an 85 yo upstairs neighbor)…
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Nothing going as planned….what to do
My husband is the Type 1 diabetic who has been stuck in hospitals since mid July. He went from home to ER, to a GPU, to home for 2 days, back to ER, to IcU and has been in a med surg bed since, a couple of weeks now. No surprise that there has been mor decline during this time. They could not find a GPU placement. They all…
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LO Starting Hospice
In the last few of months my LO became incontinent; I could handle that. He was still ambulatory albeit slow but he could get around with my assistance, could feed himself, I could get him in bed, and other daily tasks. Just like that, overnight two days ago his legs are gone; meaning he cannot stand, walk, get in bed, he…
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Stage 8
My DW has gone to be with our Lord. On September 1, she fell and injured her ribs. The Hospice nurse told us to give her Morphine every four hours. She was not eating or drinking so I suspected we were near the end. On Thursday, they increased the Morphine to every hour. She was snoring loudly. Sunday morning at 1:15 I…
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Power of Attorney
My wife has early-mid stage Alzheimer’s and anosognosia. I’ve been told I need power of attorney, but I have questions about that. Do I really need this, given that all our assets are held jointly? Is there a way to set up power of attorney without confronting her with her condition? She gets upset when that happens and…