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White House: Changes Re Quality Of Care In NHs
https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/statements-releases/2022/02/28/fact-sheet-protecting-seniors-and-people-with-disabilities-by-improving-safety-and-quality-of-care-in-the-nations-nursing-homes/?emci=d8173310-de98-ec11-a507-281878b83d8a&emdi=6a962eed-e098-ec11-a507-281878b83d8a&ceid=4164101
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The sandwich generation
I’m 39 years old and married. We have 2 girls, ages 11 and 6. My dad is 72 years old and lives with us. He is comfortable in his bedroom watching tv all day. He will fall asleep in his recliner and confuse his days and nights. He will come sit with us in the living room but only for a few minutes. I’m trying to make a…
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Acting out/Hallucinations led to an ER visit
Hello, I am new to this support group but should have joined years ago. My 85yr old dad is in mid to late stage Alzheimer's. My mom is the main caregiver but is overwhelmed and starting to make bad decisions or not do anything at all. She is very resistant to in home care to give her a break and resistant to my attempts at…
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My mother is taking my father on a cruise
My mother planned this cruise for her and my father. She said she wasn't getting any younger and she works hard. I said she deserved it and told her to send me lots of pics. She arrived yesterday on the ship and sent me a video of my father dancing to the music. At first I wasn't sure what to make of this trip; whether or…
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Standing/walking
My FIL is quickly approaching the point he cannot stand or walk without two people. Even then, DH and I are practically carrying him. I’m pretty sure he is strong enough, he just does not know how to move his feet anymore. What now? I have been getting him from the bed to a bedside chair in the mornings by myself, but that…
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Guardianship Question
I have a question for those of you who are guardians. My father’s wife recently passed and as a condition of a rather contentious coguardianship we split the joint bank account assets down the middle, to establish the guardianship account. Now that she has passed, I have a slew of late bills from her expenses living in his…
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Trust for management of assets
Good grief, this is my third post in the last three days. I am very needy lately with a thousand things to think about. When Mom's house is sold the proceeds are supposed to go towards paying for her care. And only her care. I'm in the process of getting her admitted to a facility. The problem is that my brother has POA…
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Hallucinations(22)
Both of my parents have dementia. They are still very functional though. What worries me is my mom’s recent belief that there are more than her and my dad living with them. Basically, she thinks my dad is two different people. Is this a common or typical symptom ?
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Dad has vivid sexual hallucinations causing problems
My dad has been diagnosed with Lewy body dementia and is experiencing vivid visual hallucinations where he sees my mom having sex with other men and women in her bed. We have separated bedrooms and that has helped somewhat but he still asks about sex countless times during the day and can’t understand why she won’t sleep…
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should I stop visiting LO?
Hello All, I'm the only child of my mother, who is in a SNF and was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2014. We have a close and loving relationship and I cared for her in-home for several years. For many years, I've been "her person" (she didn't remarry after divorcing my father, so there's no partner in the picture) and I…
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Serequol
Mom seems to be worse on it. She's getting 200 mgs a day. Either she's getting worse or my expectation is making it seem so. She won't get up to go to the bathroom even when she's soaking wet and then won't sit down on the toilet so I can change her. It takes me and my brother to get through this. I hoped this med would…
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Can't afford memory care or assisted living. What to do?
Hi all. I’m new but needing input. My dad lived with us for almost seven months. Dad was not much trouble beyond normal dementia behavior. No aggression but likes to roam/wander, trouble sleeping at times, and always asking for different people that use to be in his life - busy fellow. However, my husband could not handle…
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LTC - virtual assessment today - pitfalls to watch out for?
The LTC company set up a zoom call with a nurse from their subcontractor and we need to take the call on a cell phone in Dad's room at memory care. The MC director of nursing is irritated that they won't just accept her care plan and forego the assessment. She is tied up with a COVID outbreak in the facility. (Yes, the…
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Looking for help/advice
Hi, My MIL has moderate dementia and lives in a MC nearby. I hope that someone can offer advice and suggestions. * I may be wrong, but it seems like most people on these boards are caring for their LOs at home. Although there are many overlapping issues, I am wondering if there is a different site I should look at for…
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pseudo dementia
Has anyone here had a LO diagnosed with pseudo dementia? If so, what treatment did they get? Was memory restored? Or did the loss stop after treatment? Any info appreciated.
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Father with dementia at my wedding? PART 2
Hello everyone! Melanie here! I’m new to this forum so bare with me! I don’t know how to post my last forum but it was titled “loved one with dementia at a wedding?” I wanted to say thank you for all the warm comments! Everyone who reached out really gave me new perspectives to look at. I have a few things I need to…
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How to let go once moving your spouse into Memory Care?
How does one let go of making sure everything is being done for your spouse after moving him into Memory Care? How do you learn to enjoy living your life after taking 24/7 care of your spouse for the past 4 years?
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A tale as old as time - the caregiver child
Here is an interesting excerpt from the year 1694. It's a will (from my geneaology research) where he notes the care his daughter gave that is unlikely to be recognized by his son after his death. "The reason why I apparently give more to my aforesaid daughter than to my son, is not that I bear less affection to him than…
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Mom is blaming the vaccine
Mom has been showing signs of dementia for a few years. It's gotten more intense the past month or so with delusions, paranoia, and more short term memory issues. My brother and I find it so challenging to know whether to have a frank conversation with her or just let her be - - as it has been seeming like she wasn't aware…
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 3/4/22
LET'S PRAY FOR GOD'S LIGHT How many of us scroll quickly by verses on social media calling for "love your enemies?" Perhaps many of us, including me, do not completely understand what that means. Let's discuss what you think Jesus meant by "love your enemies." Let's pray for the Lord's understanding. The Holy Spirit…
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How can she seem so sharp?
My mom has always been highly intelligent and insightful. It's obvious that she is declining mentally and has said things that are clearly delusions and paranoia, but her intelligence and ability to discuss current events is still amazing. I can be having a conversation with her and things are totally normal and the next…
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Help me diagnose my dad?
Hello all! I know I should be asking a professional for help but it’s really hard to get my dad to a doctor and when he was in the hospital before I went nuts trying to get an answer from anyone. So in the beginning of 2020 my dad was his usual self…he would fumble on words and forget things here and there but I would…
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trauma after move to AL
I'm new to this board and from browsing, I wish I had joined years ago. My mom has ALZ, prob stage 3-4. She had been living independently about 40min from us and I was increasingly concerned about her safety (esp driving) and general isolation. We started looking at AL residences about 6 mos ago - some on my own and the…
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Paranoia(10)
I am a 24/7 caregiver for my mother with dementia. I'm overwhelmed and barely holding it together. Recently, past couple of months, Mom has developed an everyday obsession thinking that people are coming into the house and stealing things. It's either my brother, distant (some even long deceased) relatives or figures from…
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Guilty and relieved
Back story: Youngest sister lived with mom and dad with her husband shortly after she got married. My parents worked full-time and my sister was a housewife. When my parents retired my sister went to work full-time and my mom watched her kids. About 5 years ago my parents health started declining. As siblings we agreed, as…
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Move transition issues
My mother was diagnosed with “mild neurocognitive disorder - possible Alzheimer’s subtype” back in Oct. 2021 at the age of 73. She had lived by herself for over 10 years after caring for my stepfather who died of ALZ in 2010. Early in 2020, we realized that mom was unable to handle her finances anymore (missing bills,…
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Navigating hospice - help!
Sheesh, this is long again, sorry, I have a habit if not being very concise So, we have had some really good experiences with hospice so far but one big issue… We loved the intake nurse, who still calls to chat. We loved the nurses who have come out, the social worker and the chaplain. Very thorough and helpful. But the…
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my parents are caregivers, and I'm worried for their health - advice?
Hey all, I'm new to this group and looking for some advice. My grandmother was diagnosed with dementia about two and a half years ago, right after my grandfather passed away. Since then my mother has been taking care of my grandmother, driving down 6+ hours from the Bay Area to Southern California every two weeks to stay…
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What State for Medicaid?
Many posters have reported difficulty obtaining financial assistance from State agencies and niggardly support at best. Is there a source of information rating various States in this respect?
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When to pursue a specialist opinion?
My mother is 71 and has increased episodes of repetition-repeating questions and activites. At first they were directly related to higher anxiety periods such as when she is preparing for visitors or just generally concerned about someone or something. Now they can happen without those prompts. In addtion, she struggles…