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Seeking advice - conservatorship
If you have gone through conservatorship, I am wondering if you have advice. My aunt is in CA and I am in MN. She is going to be notified tomorrow by courier that this is happening and the hearing (via Zoom) is a week from today. She is going to be confused and angry and she won't really understand what is happening - only…
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Just tired.
I know I'm terrible, but I am spent! No, I'm not mom's 24/7 caregiver - but I do a lot! I take care of all of my mom's medical and financial issues. My mom is in moderate to severe level demetia. I also take care of all of my sister's medical issues. That includes driving them to all appointments and going in with them to…
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Caregiver Obsessively Negative
I am having difficulty dealing with my dad's constant negativity and his constant need to bring up over and over my mother's Alzheimer's condition and how much it hurts that she is suffering from Alzheimer's. My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's at 52 years old. She has had it for 7 years now. She is still able to feed…
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Nobody want will take LO
I'm at my wit's end! My MIL is in the later stages of Alzheimer’s, she is 84 and was still living at home with her husband of 64 years. She kept getting worse as far as combativeness, making everyone including herself miserable. She doesn't sleep and won't let her 85-year-old husband sleep. He was EXHAUSTED and would just…
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Hot Cold
It's too hot or too cold. The HVAC system "is not working and needs to be fixed." Doesn't believe the thermostat or has trouble dealing with it.
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Finding an ophthalmologist
Hi, I am new to the message board. I volunteer as a Community Educator for the Alzheimer's Association, and I oversee the care of my oldest sister who has Alzheimer's. Recently she appears to have difficulty seeing things on her left side. Has anyone taken someone with dementia to an ophthalmologist in the Virginia…
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Helpful Safety Checklist
After a week or so from you-know-where, that I posted about in the Spouse's forum we are back home and DH is almost back to baseline. That means, I'm back to my own "normal", which means trying to stay one step ahead of Alzheimer's dementia and the twists & turns it throws our way. Today, I ran across this helpful safety…
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In search of a full time aide
Hello! My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s last August. She lives with my father on long island, ny. However my dad is 84 and it is very difficult to care for my mom. My 3 siblings and I all live out of state. We were able to take turns to visit my parents to help with caregiving. However, this became difficult and so we…
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Medicube to give away
Hi, I'm new here and will not be a member for long as my wife has already passed. She died of some form of dementia on the 15th of May, I was a long haul truck driver and was only home about 4 days a month so didn't notice anything wrong until I retired 3 years ago. She was apparently able to pull thing together while I…
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When/How do you decide that visits do more harm than good?
First it was the telephone. I've quit calling my mom as much as I used to because I think that it's more frustration than it's worth. She can't hold a conversation on the phone. I ask if she enjoyed her visit the day before from my son and daughter and she doesn't remember. I think it made her sad. And she can't answer…
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Sundowning - Benefit of Geriatric Psychiatrist
My mom's "sundowning" is increasing. It is starting earlier in the day and the episode is lasting longer, and it is an every day occurrence. She wants to go home, not realizing that where she is is home. She thinks home is where her mother, siblings or children are, but doesn't know where that is. Has anyone used a…
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My Father and the Same Stories Repeated
I grew up with grandparents telling stories. They were all funny and gave me a sense of history and the love in the family. My Dad was diagnosed with Dementia in February. He has short-term memory loss and forgets words - gets confused. He's 20/30 on the scale. My Dad is also very ... self-focused. He tells stories about…
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How Do I Handle Anger and Mean Words?
I need help dealing with my sister's anger. In her worst confrontation she dropped F-bombs. She was demanding to go home. She even spelled it out H-O-M-E, home! Several nurses in the home came and went, trying to assist. My sister's youngest daughter was trying her best to reason with my sister. The last nurse who came in…
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 6/28/21
GOD ANSWERS PRAYER * Luke 6:12-13 NIV The Twelve Apostles "12 One of those days Jesus went out to a mountainside to pray, and spent the night praying to God. 13 When morning came, he called his disciples to him and chose twelve of them, whom he also designated apostles..." * me: Each one of us need to pray for the Father's…
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First time posting…how do you help when they won’t let you
Hi, I apologize in advance for the length of this! Where to start!?! MIL (78) appears to have dementia/Alzheimer’s. She lives 1500 miles away from 2 of her children. Lives with her husband (who is not in good health) and nearby her other daughter who has MS. She does not go to the doctor hardly ever. We’ve noticed over the…
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Finding AL/MC for verbally and physically aggressive
My sister’s 82 year old partner with probably stage 5/6 dementia has been in and out of ER, hospital and nursing home several times over last couple of months. He of course doesn’t really understand what is happening and he has been verbally and sometimes physically aggressive to the health care workers and other patients.…
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First Post -where to place Dad, if we can get him there
Been reading the boards and I am so impressed by the wisdom you all share. Hoping I can contribute in time -for the moment I am new at this and struggling. Dad had his 3rd? 2nd? stroke 2 months ago, plus he has a history of TIAs. Diagnosis last week by neurologist of moderate cognitive decline, which I presume is stemming…
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What do you say when LO asks if you are upset?
What I am supposed to say to that? The truth is yes, I’m upset. She calls multiple times a day about stupid stuff. She acts as if I should immediately fix her minor issues. And then wonders why I sound like I want to get off the phone. She’s not far enough along for this behavior. She’s only at stage 4 and the doctor…
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Brother in Limbo in hospital
My younger brother, age 80 was involuntarily committed to the mental health lock up in a local hospital with dementia. He has been there for 41 days as of today with no visitors allowed....no family, no friends. He is awaiting the completion of a Conservatorship over his affairs. I can't seem to contact anyone who could…
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After the fall(1)
Hi all, and hope you are as well as is possible. I’m sorry to say that my mother fell on April 17 and fractured her hip. We will not pursue surgery and she is now bed bound. Due to the pain it causes, they cannot get her out of bed and only move her as is needed for care/hygiene. Obviously it’s been very stressful and I am…
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one of the best Teepa Snow's
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmPQLf9IUNI
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POA and VA affairs???
I need some advice... My dad, 69, just got diagnosed with Alzheimers. His brain has "significant damage" and is not doing well. He lives in another state and his only other child lives out of state too. We both are going to see him in a week. I am not too familiar with POA. Is it a good idea to have both of us kids as his…
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Update on Mom's Anger and Broken Heart at AL
It's been a crazy 3 weeks. After getting my mom moved in, I started packing her house, putting things in storage, and getting the house ready to sell. Then from 6/15-6/22 we took a family vacay to Florida (live in CA). House was listed today. The first four days at AL my mom was angry and lots of crying. Then, I went to…
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How to handle mom's... I want to go home..., anger, and broken heart at AL
I did it. I got my mom into AL at Park Merced yesterday at about 3:30. The whole process was hard and a lot of work but I got it done. Mom was not happy about her apartment and staying as I knew she wouldn't be. This evening I got a call from PM asking if it was ok to have her call me. Sure, of course. As expected she was…
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Care Coverage after year is coming to a head
Struggling with my siblings to cover care for my mother who has been diagnose with dementia, most likely symptomatic Alzheimer disease. Guessing she is in the moderate phase of this disease. My sisters and I are not even talking, this disease has driven a wedge between all of us and we are not able to talk and coordinate…
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Recommendation for in home care
Hello,Any recommendations for and in home caregiving service that you love?! Finding it hard to choose just any. Would appreciate some recommendations from people who have had similar experiences as me. Thank you!
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Lexington KY memory care facilities
Hello, I am looking at Highgrove at Tatescreek as well as Liberty Ridge for my father who has moderate dementia. Does anyone have a family member at either of these places and could share their thoughts/opinions? Thank you, Wendy
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I feel like my marriage is crumbling…
My mother in law has advanced Alzheimer’s and was only recently diagnosed. I’m really starting to resent and hate her. I’m sure it makes me sound like a horrible person. She’s never been very nice to me. She had only sons. When I first met her, she paraded another girl during one of our first meeting and told me “this is…
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Transport chair?
I’m thinking of purchasing a transport chair for my wife. It’s hard on her to walk long distances although she uses a rollator. We have a wheelchair but it’s getting too heavy for me to be lifting. Do any of you have suggestions and/or recommendations for a transport chair? I know I want one with brake levers on the…
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GCM references
In a previous post, I received a recommendation that I seek out support from a Geriatric Care Manager. Are there quality reference sites? When I Googled, I ended up on some of the paid reference sites...value this community's referrals more than what I can find by myself. Thank you in advance....