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Bed available much fast than expected
Hi all, I have posted in the past about placing my Mom on a waiting list for a facility. I did so a month ago after finding a local one I liked, with great staff and beautiful rooms. It was newly built around 4 years ago. They have a lot of activities and amenities that I really was impressed with too. At the time I placed…
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Excited! Miserable. Impressed!
Heroism is endurance for one moment more. ~ George F. Kennan Happy Memorial Day, you everyday heroes! I'm excited! https://www.stumpedtowndementia.com/post/lights-camera-action I'm miserable. https://www.stumpedtowndementia.com/post/i-see-dead-people-s I'm IMPRESSED!…
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Aggressive behavior w/ Aides
Hi everyone - I posted a message a few months ago re: my 96 year old Mom threatening one of her aides. At that point she had not put her hands on anyone. At the suggestions of some in this group, we put her on Risperidone and 50 mg Trazodone. She seemed to be doing better, but lately she seems to be entering a new phase as…
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How do you grieve?
My mom is 68 and in late stage 6. My parents are separated so it's up to my sister and I to care for her, although my dad is contributing financially. Mom is in a memory care facility that's doing a fantastic job but... watching your own mom decline in slow motion right in front of you is still so hard. I hadn't realized…
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How to change a pull up w/o removing pants
Another member posted this video a while ago on the "Spouse or Caregiver Forum"...I am thinking maybe Ed1937. Many here are already aware of the technique but I wanted to re-post for those who haven't seen it. With a little practice, it is fast and easy to do. Now that my DH is urinary incontinent, I am getting a lot of…
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A Lakota Prayer - after the loss of a loved one
I hope this lovely prayer shows up. Not sure why links and images are so tough to post here so I came back and typed it out to be more visible. This prayer struck me tonight as a beautiful way to redirect my own thoughts when facing and anticipating the loss of a love. My DH is still here, but not here, as AD steals him…
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Honoring advance care directive? UTIs and what constitutes burdensome measures
Hi again, I posted just a couple days ago asking for some emotional support (you all are wonderful and I cried multiple times reading responses) and I'm back again with a more logistical question. Mom is in late stage 6- incontinent, can't shower unassisted, needs help dressing, still has vocabulary but the words she says…
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Full time companions are not the only ones th@t get burn out
Not the full time companion of my LO, but do a lot! Full time companion claims to be there because of a promise to our father, before he passed. I believe she’s there because she had no place to go. Companion is miserable, complains constantly - has started blaming me because she moved her in the first place, says I…
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Suggestions for dealing with false accusations
My aunt has been accusing my nephew’s wife of stealing from her all the time when she only met her once about a year ago. She also accused my nephew of taking three remote controls from her house but I was there and he didn’t. She also lost her wallet and her keys to her house and car. I tried to help her look for them…
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A new study on prediction of Alzheimer?
This link will take you to the web site regarding some information on a new study to predict Alzheimer. This is not an Ad but information from research done in Sweden - Article dated May 27, 2021 https://www.studyfinds.org/tool-predict-alzheimers-4-years/
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Need help- mom is struggling with time
My mom Is in a memory care facility. She also has macular degeneration and is basically blind. In addition, she uses hearing aids and is profoundly deaf without them. Lately she is struggling with time. What time is it now? What time do I go to dinner? She also has (I think) anxiety, so when I tell her the staff will come…
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Assisted living doesn’t actually free family members
I’ve had multiple people tell me ‘ your parents are in assisted living so you are free to travel and live your life’. I don’t know about the rest of you, but it’s not working out that way here. Yes, sometimes. I can get away for a couple of nights, but I have had to cancel afternoon plans multiple times without notice. I…
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Mom keeps telling me she hates me
Mom with dementia has been in assisted-living for five years. For some reason she suddenly feels like she just got there. Every single day I get a call with her expressing how much she hates me for “ putting her in prison.“. No matter how much I explain to her that she agreed to move closer to me and into assisted living……
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At the ER now after banging herself and becoming beligerant
Mom is sleeping. She was non-compliant at MC today. I visited. Stayed about 2 hours and she calmed down. Then I got a call she had bung up her face somehow. Can't say how. Was kicking aids trying to stop her bloody nose. They called EMT'S. She was trying to kick the EMT'S. I followed to the hospital after picking up her…
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24/7 Care at Home
Has anyone managed to provide high quality care AND keep their loved one at home long term? We have a caregiver who comes 4 times a week to relieve my dad, but we are approaching the point where my mom will need more skilled care. Does 24/7 in-home care even exist? Has anyone successfully kept their loved one at home as…
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Supporting unmarried 70 yo cousin who has dementia
Hello everyone - I am seeking guidance/advice as my family starts on this journey. My nearly 70 year old cousin is showing all the signs of dementia. It runs in her family; in fact her older sister has been in a memory care facility for several years. She never married and has no children. She understands that she is…
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Delusions, Paranoia and Destructive Behaviors
My sister was diagnosed with Alzheimer's 1.5 years ago. For several years, she exhibited OCD behaviors, which gradually got worse. She is now at the point where she unpacks and repacks the contents of her dressers and file cabinets and closets, and then doesn't remember where she put the items, so she accuses her husband,…
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eating dog treats & getting multiple drinks
A few months back, during 2020, DH installed cameras around the property and in our kitchen. Yesterday evening when reviewing the kitchen camera footage during a period of time she was alone in the house he noticed MIL getting the dog's treats out of the pantry and eating a couple of them. He asked her about it and she…
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How to handle hallucinations?
Mom has been diagnosed with Vascular Dementia (about 5 years). She has gone into the "hallucination" stage when sometimes gets distressful to the point where we have had to experiment with meds. She is 96, so obviously does not tolerate meds very well. First was Seroquel and Namenda. Her hallucinations went off the chart.…
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Tips for placement AL or MC and how to transition an unwilling mother
Thank you for any suggestions or tips on how to identify a long-term care community for a very independent woman with dementia who is in full denial of impairments. She is currently high-functioning and I am not dealing well with the idea of moving her against her will and limiting her freedom so dramatically. I am…
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Just so sad - my daddy is in the late stages
I'm feeling overwhelmingly heart broken. It's so painful to see him like this. He's sleeping most of the time now. Unable to walk. I miss him so so so soooooooo much and I want to scream because of how much it hurts. I don't know how long this will last and it's agonizing. He was my favorite person. I'm so so sad. Some…
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New to all of this(3)
Hello, My father who is 80 was diagnosed with Alzheimers. My mother is 82 and is having to learn how to do everything he used to do and adjust to a new way of living. I can see that she has no idea how to find support and resources so I am stepping in to try to learn and guide her along, but I don't even know where to…
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Risperidol, but my sister wants me to try CBD
I know this might be a familiar problem for many here. (I'm new here. Hi!) My mom's doctor put her on .25mg Risperidol to help with sundowning. My mom is not violent, but last night she got up and took a shower at 2am. My dad found her in there, got her dried off and in bed, and she said she was uncomfortable (she often…
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Stroke?
My mother is 78 years old and is in the last stage of Alzheimer's. She's been in a home for about 6 weeks and the Director sent me a picture of mom the other day. I noticed that her left eye is droopy and the eye is looking in a different direction from the other eye. We were told that she has started chewing on her…
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Mistaken Identity
My dad has a sheet of paper with the names of three of his kids and their phone numbers. He has a lot of difficultly navigating the contact list in his phone hence the paper. Even though my phone number is on the list with my name, Melissa, he will call me and he thinks he is talking to my mom (who passed away just a year…
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Depression and Anger
We are entering a new stage in my mother's dementia. She has been suffering a great deal with depression and episodes of anger. The articles and books I'm reading talk about triggers and things that could cause the episodes. Recently her hysterical episodes have happened when she is alone so we are not sure what could be…
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 5/25/21
Lord, Give Me Patience * Galatians 5:22-23 NKJV “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.” * James 1:19-20 NKJV “So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for…
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Bike riding alone- when do you stop?
My dad has Alzheimer’s. He is in the latter middle stage. He is coherent and fine at times. Then, other times, he is out of sorts and has difficulty communicating. In recent years, he has started riding his bike a lot more. Sometimes, he does fine. He takes the same path and makes it home ok. However, twice in the last…
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Denial about diagnosis
My mother has recently been officially diagnosed with dementia. All she knows she is having some memory problems, but testing reveals that she’s functioning at a very low level, and I concur. She denies there is a problem, as does her husband. How do I talk aboutThis with her in a way that will open her mind to getting…
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Should we tell his Sibs about MIL's spending habits?
DH has recently regained access to MIL's bank account - she keeps forgetting the password and locking herself out and needs help getting it reset so he helps her...thus we have access until she locks herself out of it again. Anyway, we have been looking at her spending over the last few months and she's been on a wild…