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Do I leave cards for mom at AL or not?
Me again. So, I'm not sure where I read it but someone suggested leaving cards with uplifting messages and love enclosed for their LO for the first week or two while they are adjusting. Mom will be moving into Eskaton on Saturday and I'm supposed to stay away. I'm wondering if anyone has done this and if it helped or not?…
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She Cried - First Day of Day Care (Activity Center)
I took my sister to a trial day at the Adult Day Care where I would like her to go. We've talked about it over the last few months and I took her there once to walk around outside (due to Covid they weren't allowing visitors inside for tours). She got in the car okay, but started to cry on her way over. When we got to the…
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Near constant hallucinations and agitation- end stage alz
Hi friends in the same boat, Mom is in the 7th stage and was accepted into hospice. For several years, her agitation and aggressive outbursts on top of the usual Alz decline have been her norm. She is not pleasantly demented. She gradually lost continence, the ability to walk, sit, and converse. She can’t feed herself. She…
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can a son get a tax deduction for paying my dad's memory care costs?
Hello. My family is planning to continue paying my father's memory care facility costs in a year when his long term care insurance is exhausted. He has later stage vascular dementia, is 89 and his medical condition was well defined when he qualified to receive his LTC benefits from John Hancock. I'm planning to have my…
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Focus on Dog that was Given Away
Hello, I’m new to the forums and need some feedback around behaviors exhibited by my mother who was diagnosed with dementia. For the past month she has been focusing on a dog she previously owned and we had to re-home as she could no longer care for it. In the past couple of months she claims she has seen him in her…
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A visit to grandma
Hello. I received a call last week from my grandmother’s nursing home stating that she wasn’t eating any longer and is losing weight quickly. So I wanted to schedule a visit just in case her battle with ALZ is almost over. My dad (who has early onset) and I went to see her today for my birthday. At first, the visit was…
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Article - Communication Tips for Visits (or Everyday) with our LOs
Sharing... these are really good reminders of how to talk and be with our PWD loved ones. The article is intended for visiting someone with dementia, but I can see the value for everyday caregiving too. Do’s and Don’ts for Visiting Someone with Dementia – DailyCaring I struggle with #5: (communicating in short, 1 topic…
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Where to find hourly caregivers
My dad is in a residential care home where he is one of two residents with a live-in round-the-clock caregiver. It's getting very difficult for him to continue to walk and even get up to the chair, I would like to continue to do that as long as possible. Unfortunately it requires two people to get him out of the bed and…
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What's the best way to move someone to AL that doesn't want to leave their house?
I'll be moving my mom to AL this coming weekend. This is the plan: On Friday, my brother will pick her up and take her to his home (2 hours away - this is the location of AL, too) where she will stay until Sunday morning. I'll go to her house on Friday afternoon and begin packing. On Saturday I'll rent a Uhaul and move her…
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New Symptom? Never seen it before
MIL has been stating for a couple of weeks now that she wanted to go 'take care' of her older sister in another state. At first she said she needed to go because "Alma" was having back surgery and needed help afterward, then MIL started saying that Alma was going to go in a nursing home and she wanted to spend 2 weeks with…
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WEF - CEOi - DAC Virtual Lausanne Dialogue
During our time together, you’ll hear from leaders in AD research, advocacy, policy and industry explore the socioeconomic impact of Alzheimer’s disease and new opportunities for the global community to stop this growing pandemic. Held on the eve of the World Health Assembly, this dialogue will shine a spotlight on why…
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Building Workforce Capacity to Improve Detection and Diagnosis of Dementia
https://milkeninstitute.org/reports/building-dementia-workforce
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How to deal with anxious behaviors in the moment?
My grandmother is not diagnosed with dementia, but I've spoken to people with familiarity with Alzheimer's and dementia and they believe she sounds like she has vascular dementia due to strokes. Some of the things we've been dealing with with her is her lack of patience (if she needs help with something, she needs it now…
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FIL thinks MIL is having an affair with her son
I know that PWD can come up with some pretty interesting things out of the blue. Well for the last month my FIL has been thinking that my MIL is having an affair with their son. Usually he brings it up to her but tonight when my husband was at the house he accused them of it together. My husband just tried to explain that…
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How's your Mom doing?
People mean well when they ask this question, but I know I'm not the only one who struggles through an answer. Something honest would sound a bit like, "well I guess that depends on what we're comparing her current state to. Compared to my mom before this disease deteriorated half of her brain mass, she's doing pretty…
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false memories(1)
Hi all! I'm new here. My mom was diagnosed with mild dementia last December, they thought probably Alzheimer's, but maybe some vascular dementia also. I live with her, but she is fairly high functioning. The thing that has caught me most off guard recently, she started telling me about when she went to Israel. She's never…
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How do I convince my siblings that I need their help?
I've been living with and caring for my mom for several years. Her dementia has progressed to the point that I don't feel she should be alone. Since Covid, I've been almost her entire social outlet. We are together almost 24/7, except for the rare times my sister decides to take her out. Inevitably, they go have time with…
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Helping a friend with severe memory loss (undiagnosed)
I'm trying to help a friend who can't remember much of anything. She's 77 and has no family. She is suspicious of most people that want to help her. She reached out to me because she remembered that we both have reverse mortgages. Hers is in foreclosure because she forgets to pay property taxes and homeowner's insurance. I…
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An odd behavior
I have a really odd situation with my mom...I know this may sound crazy...but when my mom sits at the table to eat she sits kinda sideways in her chair and far from the table and always makes a mess on her and floor. If I say anything or make a big deal out of scooting my chair up it doesn't phase her.Anybody else ever…
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LO didn't recognize me.
Today was the first time that my mom didn't recognize me. After a few seconds she knew who I was. Later she told me that she didn't recognize her husband or have any memory of being married to him for 20 years. Several hours later I asked if she knew who I was and she said that she did, but that I looked older than she…
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Moving to MC???
My mother is 77 and has late state Alzheimer's. She has been living with me for the past year and half. In the past few weeks she's become weak and is losing her mobility. Although she receives palliative/hospice care with a nurse that checks on her once a week and an aid that helps with showers 3 times a week it suddenly…
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Long COVID and brain fog
My significant other pointed me to this twitter thread by Hannah Davis, who I'm guessing is a doctor, and who co-wrote a soon-to-be peer reviewed paper on long COVID and brain fog. The twitter thread is here: https://twitter.com/ahandvanish/status/1343293625724235776 I thought the thread was interesting enough that I…
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stick a fork in me - I am done! (Venting)
MIL returned to our house 2 weeks ago after a 3 month visit to Sib #3. Before she returned to us, I told DH that I was pretty much at the breaking point and I wouldn't be able to handle much more in terms of MIL's accusations of theft, raising rent, etc. DH said he understood and said he'd draft an email to all sibs…
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Repeated ER Trips Initiated by Memory Care Facility
Hi friends. I'm writing with respect to my mother who recently moved into a memory care facility. She's been acting out with aggression towards other residents from time to time. We know that there is no evidence of any underlying medical conditions beyond dementia itself. She's simply very angry at this point in her…
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Broken vs. can’t operate something
We’ve had many times in the past where my FIL loses something and is convinced it is misplaced. Last night he called us from his MC at 2:00 am saying his brand new shaver is broken. We said we’d take care of it. Caregiver checked this am and it works fine. We are thinking for whatever reason he just couldn’t work it (and…
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New diagnosis for LO: dementia psychosis
My mom is in a great facility about an hour 45 from me. Got a call yesterday that she was out of control aggression and they couldn't calm her down. they were afraid that she was going to hurt herself. So they sent her to the ER. i was able to go and be with her. the ER doctor finally diagnosed mom with dementia psychosis…
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Finally moving? Last minute jitters
Both my parents have cognitive problems--mom with Alzheimer's, dad with brain damage from a fall and brain surgery. They have been living in their own home, managing pretty well with a lot of support from me (after a very difficult few months), but I am well aware that we are one small step away from bigger problems. I…
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We've got to get MIL some rest
Can anyone provide me with suggestions please. My MIL is the primary caregiver for my FIL. She is so exhausted and needs a break and some sleep. My husband and I would like to be able to help out by keeping FIL busy or keeping an eye on him so MIL can get a shower, alone time or some sleep. We see how he follows her around…
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It's Possible to take a Short Vacation with LO
Just a quick post to say that we successfully took a short 2 night/3 day vacation with my son who has Alzheimer's. Just he and I and his brother who is also a caregiver. Went to a cabin in the mountains of northeast Arizona, a 5 hour drive. It was glorious weather and great to breathe fresh mountain air. While there, could…
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Vacation, Guilt, Hard Decisions
Looking for advice on how all the caregivers on here handle vacations. Bear with me me, please, if you have time to read this. Background: My mom lives with me and has roughly moderate level dementia. Long term memory great. Short term memory, focus level, and behaviors awful. With the help of a home aide, I give her her…