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Urinary Issues
I am struggling with my husband who has Alzheimer's, Parkinson's and Lewy body dementia and hope someone might be facing the same thing. His urinary incontinence is so bad. He is not able to walk so I have to help with with an urinal. Daytimes are difficult, but we found ways to make it work to be able to do the few things…
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overflowing bladder
My dad wears pull-up briefs during the day and night. My mom has him use the bathroom before bed and has my dad put on 2 pull ups at night (one over the other). He continues to leak through them and my mom is often having to get up multiple times a night to change his briefs and t shirt and strip the bed. There are…
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Feeling tired and sad
Hi. I've been a member of this forum for a long time. My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's 8 years ago this month (even though we had noticed some changes a few years before that). I can't remember ever making a post of my own before today. My mother currently lives with myself and my husband and I am her guardian of the…
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MIL hamming it up when we're around
MIL had a slight mishap on our steps a week ago. Yesterday she was complaining about the pain in her leg being so bad and when DH and I helped her stand she almost fell over in pain and she got teary-eyed. We decided that she needed to go to the hospital to make sure she didn't have a serious injury but we couldn't get her…
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Adjusting to memory care(1)
My mom with dementia has lived with my husband and I for the last year. Honestly, because of COVID it was pretty easy to take care of her because we were always home. She is mobile and healthy except for her memory issues. During this time she went and stayed with my brother a couple of times when we had to be away. The…
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The end is near(2)
Well, we knew it was coming but it doesn't make it any easier. The doctor called yesterday and told my dad that my mom needs to go into Hospice. She cannot do anything for herself and doesn't even acknowledge the caretakers/staff when they say her name. It's been four years since diagnosis and 10 weeks since dad put her in…
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New here(48)
Hi all, I'm new here and wanted to introduce myself. We've been noticing some changes in my mom for the last few years, but we told it was "just MCI". Recently, we were told she now is at level 5 of the FAST scale. Most likely Alz. We feel relief in being allowed to help and also feel like we are at the base of a mountain.…
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AD killed my dad and only left me bruised and battered...
Hi fellow caregivers, My dad died in MC from an infection two months ago and we are all grateful that his illness did not last long. I haven't posted here very much but I read through the forums often and wanted to thank you all. Reading through the posts when I was having a bad day to know I wasn't alone and learning many…
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New here. Self-preservation?
Hi all. My mother is a well cared for 90 year old in a lovely senior’s residence. She decided years ago that I should be the person responsible for her, and she has basically done nothing for herself in years. I am infinitely grateful for the care provided at her residence. We have always had a difficult relationship and I…
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Need to Vent(2)
TL; DR: just a bunch of little things building up. ARGH! * Mom went to neurologist last week. No diagnosis (didn't expect one), but she is super mad at me for forcing the issue. When I try to acknowledge her feelings of frustration, she switches gears and says, "let's not fight." Passive aggressive behavior makes me crazy,…
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When you know what's best but have no approach
This maybe long. My mom is in the middle stages now. She has good time frames and good and not so good moments that all are affected by her environment and who is in it. She lives 3 hours from me and I am the youngest of her 4 kids. We have a relationship that nobody in my family understands or maybe just doesn't want to…
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No more driving
My mom was just told by her neurologist (thankfully) that she is not to drive anymore. The doctor wrote this on a prescription pad for her, and included the words "not even to church or the grocery store". This is a relief to our family, as we were limiting it to only driving when one of us was in the car for navigation…
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New here!(3)
53/f...mom is 72. She now lives with my brother who is 54. She has not been the same since dad passed suddenly at home by himself. She was in the hospital ending a two week stay due to COPD. She was strong and more than able to take care of herself, my aunt next door to them and my dad with his health issues. The moment…
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New Member Introduction
Just joined the community and looking forward to shared experiences from other spousal caregivers. While my wife's dementia is in the early stages, her maternal history is such that it is unlikely she will be getting back to "normal". Her mother and maternal grandmother both died of AD. My wife Linda (63) was diagnosed…
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Mom in Denial of Memory, Physical Mobility and Aging Issues
My 84 year old mother who is in AL MC due to VD is driving me insane. Not only is she in denial of her memory issues, she doesn't recognize that her morbid obesity and lack of exercise of many years has contributed to her mobility issues, odd walking gait, deformed (very narrow) feet, and leg discomfort. She has also been…
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Found AL mom says she doesn't want to live now
It's been awhile helping my mom and I finally found an AL place for her. I thought she wanted to move to this place, I told her about it, she was going on and on about when could she move. Today she was all upset and crying on the phone and almost hysterical and then said she didn't want to live anymore and wanted her life…
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Self Guilt
My 89 year old mother was first diagnosed with mild dementia in August of 2019. She was living on her own and driving to a market 1/2 mile away. I had been taking her to her doctor appointments for about a year. We noticed some forgetfuness, but brushed it off to her age. I moved in with her at the start of the pandemic…
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Wanting to go back to bed.
My DH was diagnosed in February. We had all seen changes for more than a year, and now it retrospect I should have recognized issues years ago. I find that he will fixate on an issue and just keep at it even when trying to redirect. Before we even pull out of the driveway he wants to take his seat belt off, this will go on…
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Recall Notice: Phillips' Sleep Products
This isn't strictly dementia-related, but members have mentioned using C-pap devices in various threads. Phillips Healthcare has recently recalled a number of the C-Pap and Bi-Pap machines (not just Dreamstations) because of a risk from the noise insulation material. This recall doesn't seem to have been covered broadly in…
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Expressing gratitude to care workers
My mom's going to be in her quasi-AL residence for a year now and it's been a very good experience. All the staff has been wonderful. They've calmed her meltdowns, gone with her to her room a half-dozen times a day to help her find her purse, encouraged her to join activities and have meals with other residents, and…
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Advice for new primary caregivers?
I need some advice - we will be taking MIL to Sib #1's house later this week. They have agreed to take over as primary caregivers for the next year to both give DH and I a break and to also allow us to spend the time we need with our daughter (pregnant and living with us) to assist her with the baby. I have told DH that I…
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Moved Mom from Memory Care to Assisted Living
Hello! My mom has been diagnosed ALZ for 12 years and been in Memory Care for 5. She was just released from Hospice after 2 years. Her MC unit moved 3 residents that required a 2 person lift with Hoyer to Assisted Living. It is a nightmare. I found another MC unit and are hoping Hospice will reevaluate. We hope the move is…
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Expectations for Geriatric Psych Unit and Process
It has been decided that my mom needs a stay at a GeriPsych unit to try to get some control over her aggressive behaviors in memory care. She's been hitting and kicking staff and the behaviors are escalating in frequency, intensity and longevity. Mon agreed to this when she was back on baseline. She's currently in the…
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vasapvagal syncope and alzheimer's
My wife (77) has had three episodes of vasogal syncope beginning Dec 15 2020 and the most recent was this morning. Fortunately in all three cases I was standing nearby when she started to lose consciousness while standing. As with this morning I was able to support her and ease her to the floor so that she was not hurt. I…
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 7/2/21
GOD HEARS ME * Psalm 5:2-3 New King James Version * "Give heed to the voice of my cry, My King and my God, For to You I will pray. 3 My voice You shall hear in the morning, O Lord; In the morning I will direct it to You, And I will look up." * me: It is a comfort to know that God's Will is always in our best interest.…
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The disease or manipulation?
My mother has vascular dementia and Alzheimer’s, as well as heart failure. Her PCP has told me she has between 6-9 months to live because of her heart. I understand that the heart failure will only make the VD worse over time and it does seem to have accelerated her memory issues. She lives in a MIL apartment added onto…
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Funny: Percy Sledge and Bang- Zoom..!
Got Ma's phone set up and I tipped her daytime CNA to set her IPAD up to stream Weds Bible Study and Sunday church. Mom is a former Pastor, and can still quote a scripture or three, and rip off a prayer like nobody's business. When the phone was installed, I called to see if all was well. She can get calls in, but can only…
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MIL tripped on our stairs - and water bats
DH and I had the flooring replaced on our stairs and bedroom level last fall. We replaced the carpet in the bedrooms but had hardwoods put down in the upstairs hall and on the stairs. We've been worried that MIL (who always wears socks) would fall down the stairs. We purchased her some no-slip socks and explained that she…
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Moved my parents today, hoping it works
I managed to convince my dad to sign the paperwork for a "retirement community" that goes from Independent Living through 4 stages of Assisted Living. It's new, it's lovely, it's 3 minutes from my house, and there will be someone there round the clock if something bad happens. Meals, laundry, housekeeping and activities…
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Caregiving Has Aged Me
I'm not a vain person but looking at pictures of myself from just a few years ago, I can see that I have aged more than I thought I would have at this point in my life. Physically I feel older too. Self care is so important, take care of yourselves out there!