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Anticipatory Grief and Multilayered Guilt: What Do I Do?!?
*NOTICE: This is a long read. Thank you in advance for being willing to take time to read all of this.* I am a 31-year-old only child of a 78-year-old mother who was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease in 2018 but showed contributory signs of the disease in 2015. I am a part-time college instructor who has chosen to move…
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After a stroke what should we watch for suspicious of altzimers or dementia
Someone in the home had a stroke a couple of years ago and did very little recovery assistance. Now told to live a normal life. Showing aggression, slurred speech, forgetting things, hygiene issues, bladder issues. Possible depression and lack or motivation spends 10 or more hours a day watching TV. How do we help is…
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Running out of steam…for now
This will be mostly a vent session, I think. I’ve been running on empty the last few days. After a few weeks of intense caregiving and helping my youngest son through some unresolved health issues, I’m finding my “endless love” for my husband with Alzheimer’s to be fading & my super positive attitude turning sour. I guess…
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Much too fast, much too slow
When we adopted our son as an infant, a wise friend told me that no matter how long we had waited and how hard we had tried to have a child, I was still allowed to wish he would just hush up and go to sleep! I think that’s true for all of us with our PWDs. No matter how awful it will be, we’re allowed to sometimes wish for…
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New Florida help for caretakers of PWD
I heard about this new government service in Florida today. They didnt give many details, but they mentioned ‘support’ for caretakers of dementia patients. Dont know what that would consist of, but if you are in FL + caretaking, it is probably worth checking out. the number is 800 963 5337
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Sundowners and delusions?
This is my first post here, and a bit embarrassing and frustrating. My DH has alz, and white matter disease—recently diagnosed. For the past year he has been getting up in the middle of the night claiming I disrupt his sleep by moaning and rolling around. This is NOT happening. I have recorded sleep cycles to show him this…
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Advice on individual refusing to come inside
I work with a man who has dementia. Yesterday he insisted we go outside for ice cream. He refused to check his wallet with his phone (GPS tracking) and wallet for money. Then he went outside and refused to put on his jacket. I had to call his wife to get him to put on his jacket. He's middle stage, so I didn't feel safe…
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Question for the younger caregivers
I’m 51 caring for 80 year old spouse. This is a question for people like me who have given up work to be full time care givers. How do you plan for your future? What steps have you taken to stay active and engaged mentally, physically, creatively, socially, and career-wise? What are your plans for returning to paid work…
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End Stage Alzheimers disease
Im new to this forum and am hoping to get some advice on how to proceed with my mother's care. She is currently in a MC unit near my home using a hoyer lift. She's totally bedridden and has pressure sores on her back. The Dr's are giving her pain meds but I think it's time for hospice care. She can no longer speak…
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What do I say?
Friends and family know what is going on with my DW, and have been very helpful and supportive. Periodically one of these dear people will say, “How is she doing?”. It’s hard for me to say “a little worse every day, it seems” even if that’s the truth. I would like a better answer, but haven’t come up with one. Any ideas?
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No One Is Prepared for Alzheimer's
"No One Is Prepared for Alzheimer’s" I just published an Amazon book (kindle ebook and paperback) which is my journal written over 5-6 years about caring for my husband through the full course of his Alzheimer’s journey. It is entitled: “No One Is Prepared for Alzheimer’s: One Family’s Story.” George died last May, oddly…
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POSITIVE BALANCE
When I was a caregiver, I was on a seesaw. One side was attending to the needs of those I cared for, and the other side was attending to my own needs. Both sides were important. Both sides needed attention. The aim was to keep the seesaw balanced so one side did not go crashing to the ground. Perhaps looking back, I…
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Important (and classic) free book - Understanding the Dementia Experience
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 3/23/24
FRIENDS, just want you to know I read all your comments and appreciate them. The Holy Spirit is with you and me here and everywhere. Peace, Ronnie (Veronica Kelly Badowski) * CONFUSION Isaiah 5:20 New International Version "Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness,…
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Good article - Tips on preventing aspiration pneumonia
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Mum having pain in shoulders etc
My mum has had alzheimers for 4 years now, she went into respite and it gave me a break however she came out with a swollen foot. Since then she struggled but got over it and then she had a uti. She nearly fully got over it but yesterday morning i found her laying diagonally across the bed. Not sure whether she fell in the…
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Day Center Services
Hello! First time poster here. Looking for assistance on how to find someplace my mom can take my dad for a few hours a day. I work full time and I’m trying to convince her that he’s just too much for her to watch all day. (He’s a wanderer.) All I can find are living options and for now he’s still ok at home. She just…
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Testing question
My Dad had a mini test in the doctor's office, and received a score of 23/30 - he was referred to a Geriatric Resource Center for further testing. My Mom has a different doctor, and just had a mini test as well -- it was very similar to my dad's test, except her test required her to draw a clock face. Her score is 16/33.…
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Stage 8
Again, I can't believe this has happened, but it has. Peggy passed away right around 11am this morning. Thankfully, it was all very peaceful. I'm grateful that she didn't linger in this state, or that she had to endure any more of stage 7 than she did. Yesterday afternoon when I was there, I gave her permission again to…
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Michael Ellenbogen article on the need for dementia training in hospitals
Michael has written an excellent article on the need for dementia education and training programs in hospitals. https://www.mathewsopenaccess.com/journals/neurology/abstract/the-failing-hospital-system-i-when-it-comes-to-cognitive-issues-i
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the long night
It's about 4:30AM here. My mom called me around 11 and I knew I needed to come over to keep her company and help. I've read the hospice book and this forum and my books and all that for months now, but seeing this in real life is obviously different. He might be in the actively dying stage now? Wasn't really expecting that…
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Memory care facilities
Is there any financial help for memory care facilities? Mom has end stage 6 dementia and requires 24 care. But I can seem to find any help in CA.
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Hallucinations
Hello everyone, I'm new to the group. My mom was diagnosed with dementia in October of 2023 & she's been having bad hallucinations the last few months. She believes the neighbors are trying to move the property line, have dug tunnels under our home and that someone is coming into the house and moving/stealing her clothes,…
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What Just Happened??
So we ended up taking my FIL to ER last night because he was complaining that he had chest and abdominal pain, he As we waited in the ER for his blood tests and scans, he was starting to get restless because he said he was no longer having pain and was trying to leave. His blood tests, CAT scans and vitals turned out to be…
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Mom is at peace
Her journey is over. She passed peacefully on March 4th. Her oxygen dropped drastically as her body shut down. She was on hospice since December 2021 after being in MC for 6 months. She was in such great hands and well cared for at the RCF she was in and for that I am eternally grateful. She was there for 22 months which…
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Strategies for dealing with social isolation and loneliness
I am passing along this workshop sent to me by Michael Ellenbogen: On April 23, 2024, from 2:00-3:00 p.m. ET, the National Alzheimer’s and Dementia Resource Center will host the webinar, Strategies to Address Social Isolation and Loneliness for People Living with Dementia and their Caregivers. A description of the webinar…
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Trying to Capture my Grandma's Memories for Her and the Family
My grandmother has mild dementia that's getting worse and she's slowly losing her memories. I'm trying to use my engineering background to create a sort of Scrapbook/Memorybook for my grandmother and for my family to enjoy. My goal is to design something that can help my grandma capture her memories by uploading photos to…
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New to this
Hi, I’m very new to this. My sister has dementia. Her long term partner passed away in January in New Jersey. I didn’t know how much decline had happened until his passing when she could no longer live alone. I found a Memory Care facility here in RI where she is living and my family and I visit often. Sometimes she seems…
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Memory Book for LO?
Has anyone made a memory book for your loved one with memory loss? The speech/cognitive therapist at AL started one for my mom, but it's extremely basic and is just a few sheets of paper clipped together on their coffee table. Mom reads the NYTimes daily and and throws sections onto the coffee table. so these sheets get…
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CBD gummies for sleep
MY husband us not sleeping good at all. Sleep 1 he then up 2 he's then back to bed 1 he and all night long. This can't be good for him. We tried melatonin, not much help, tried hydroxazine, no help. I'm wanting to try CBD gummies. I can choose between 20mg of cbd or 50mg of cbd with only 2mg THC. Can anyone give some…