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Mom died this morning
Mom died this morning. I have been thinking about this day for a long time, but there is no way to prepare for this intense grief. It's so different than the grief I have felt the last six plus years. It's just so final and I miss her so much. I have no regrets. I gave it my all. I have read other posts from people who…
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When to make my first visit.
My wife is going into memory care next Tuesday. Our son is taking her in. My question is how long do I wait before I make my first visit? The next day? wait a few days until she gets settled? Those of you have gone through it, what's your experience?
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When to split a couple?
My father and Jane, his wife of 20 years, both have dementia and moved into memory care at Thanksgiving. She has always been angry and paranoid and he is passive. They were sleeping in separate bedrooms at their house so we got them single rooms next door to each other in the assisted living residence. They immediately…
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in the active dying stage
I keep telling myself Mom had a good long life. She turned 92 yesterday - the day she started the active dying stage. I have grieved for the last 6 or so years and of course knew this day would come, but my emotions are all over the place. I feel ok and then intense grief knowing I will never be able to hold her hand again…
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Screaming and Wailing In Persons With Dementia
Excellent: Does NOT happen with all person with dementia, but for those with such a problem issue: Good scholarly articles on Screaming and Wailing in Dementia Patients http://www.stacommunications.com/customcomm/Back-issue_pages/AD_Review/adPDFs/january2004/11.pdf…
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reconsidering SNF placement
I had a difficult day yesterday with mom calling seven times in four hours. And following a visit to her last week (I live about 500 miles away), I’m reconsidering her placement in SNF. We placed mom in SNF about eight months ago. We moved her to a better facility Feb. 1 when a room became available there. She’s been moved…
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My grandmother has Alzheimer's and insists on going to back to Mexico
Hi, My grandmother has Alzheimer's and she isn't able to stay by herself anymore. She tends to get lost and gets confused now in familiar locations. We are doing our best to have her busy such as in adult day care and she goes to gym too. Her schedule keeps her really active. All of my family works and we can't afford to…
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Long-distance transport - sorry this is long!
Hi! I just joined this discussion board and am hoping others with some experience may be able to help me. My father is 82, has vascular dementia. My 79-year old mother is his primary caregiver. She is in good health. I live in Virginia. They moved to Florida several years ago but my Dad is from Pennsylvania. My Dad's…
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Dad - 2nd neuropsych appointment - the long one
Today was my step-dad’s 2nd neuropsych appointment. We were told to expect it to last 3 hours. It lasted 2.5 hours. Dad has a very raspy, scratchy voice, some times he sounds as if it is painful to talk( he says it isn’t). This is due to 4 thyroid cancer surgeries over the years. He was sounding pretty bad at the 2 hour…
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From SO scared, to super sad, back to my baseline (numb)
I hope everyone has some joy and relaxation today. The last couple of weeks at our house were so crisis-filled I felt almost guilty posting more bad news, plus had trouble even catching my breath to post about some of this, so did not. My challenges are not nearly as tough as what some of our forum mates have had to deal…
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 7/14/22
Psalm 139 The Message 139 1-6 "God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand. I’m an open book to you; even from a distance, you know what I’m thinking. You know when I leave and when I get back; I’m never out of your sight. You know everything I’m going to say before I start the first sentence. I look behind me…
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PCA diagnosis for LO
Hi, I recently heard about Posterior Cortical Atrophy (PCA) and it sounds so much like what is going on with my mom. For her it’s like she is blind. She has poor depth perception, no peripheral vision, has complained of blurry and double vision, she needs someone with her when so goes anywhere to just make sure she sees…
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Reposting great resource- Compassionate Care & 7A’s of dementia
https://www.vha.ca/2021/compassionate-care-strategies-using-the-7-as-of-dementia/
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Alzheimer's, Aromatherapy, and the Sense of Smell
I cannot remember another time that I have been so impressed and yet disappointed in a book at the same time. First, the title threw me off. About 90 percent of the book is about Alzheimer's disease separate from aromatherapy (risk factors, measures to reduce risks, caregiving stragegies, raw food versus cooked food,…
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What tests did they use to diagnose your loved on with Alzheimer's Disease?
My mother is currently in the processed of being diagnosed. The doctor is doing a few blood tests to rule out reversable causes for the cognitive difficulties but otherwise says no tests are needed besides a brief cognitive measure (MOCA) to diagnose Alzheimer's. What was your experience like? Did they do more testing or…
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Aggression in SNF
My mom was diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment 7 years ago. Her medical records from her PCP states dementia. There has been average decline over the years. Doesn't remember how to cook, doesn't know how to do laundry, hoarding, obsessive compulsive behavior, doesn't remember anything more than a few minutes, and the…
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Got SSDI approved BUT NOT Eligible for M/Care until 24 monhs!!
We got my brother's SSDI approved. He's 62. YAY! BUT, I was so focused on getting that taken care of, I didn't research enough I guess as I just found out he is not eligible for Medicare until he has had SSDI for 24 months!! He currently has COBRA from former employer who let him go in Dec 2021. Cobra is $665.00 per…
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Problem with siblings
Hello, I have two siblings, brother and sister, that are hard to deal with. They don't understand our mother's dementia and they come and pick her up with out any communication with me. Its unsettling since she may fall or have some kind of incident. I tried texting them to set boundaries but there is no reply. They are…
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LO wants to go back home
My mom and dad who are in their 80s are suffering from dementia. They grew up in South East Asia and want to go back there to live out their days. They are constantly asking me to buy air plane tickets for them. This usually happens in the evenings when my mom gets worked up and depressed. What do I do? Or say to her? How…
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I'm so hopeless
My dad (80) has dementia. I'm trying to help my mom (79) take care of him, the finances, and the house. I can't get out of bed because my doctors made choose between psych meds or painPp meds. I'm in so much pain I can't eat. I've lost 35 ponds since March. When I stand up my pants fall down. My mom can barely walk too,…
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Mirror Dimension
Lately my mom seems a little confused with mirrors. I would try and talk to her and she'd start walking away, but then I see that she's found me in a mirror and was going towards that. I can't get her to go to me unless I get out of the mirror's reflection and call again. Other times she understands mirrors and fixes her…
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Thanks you two for commenting.
Going to look into the Desitin diaper cream. Been using the Medline zinc paste for a while now because that's what I saw them use in the hospital and of course is what previous hospice gave. But now, I don't have to worry about running out the zinc based product.
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What to say?(3)
Hello everyone! I hope everyone is doing as well as possible. I think of you all everyday. This morning Dad and I had a meeting with the two caregivers and a hospice nurse. Mom is declining and hospice has changed up her meds. The purpose of the meeting was to make sure everyone is on the same page. Mom is losing weight…
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If this is terminal lucidity - question
Has anyone dealt with terminal lucidity? My FIL is stage 7c and I’m wondering if this is it. After weeks of agitation, my FIL is not only calm but carrying on clear conversations with us. He knows who we are (sort of, he thinks I’m his daughter - but he hasn’t know he has a daughter for over a year). He is talking about…
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Annoying hospital bed issues - a little long. Help!
Dad has been home from the hospital for five days now. First thing DH and I noticed after getting to dad’s home was the bed. He was placed in the bed by the ambulance drivers. Problem one - the bed had a tilt. If we didn’t do something I’m certain he would have rolled out. We looked at the floor in his room, although we…
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sleep patterns off
DH has been sleeping off and on most of the day. When I put him to bed around 10:30 p.m. he gets up a few times during the night wanting to make coffee since he thinks it is morning. In addition to this he has explosive diarrhea from Crohn's disease ( or maybe because he is at stage 6.5 on the FAST scale) I just recently…
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How often do you do assessments?
My local Aging Matters sent me a "caregiving guide for unprofessionals" which emphasizes allowing a LO to do everything that they can do themselves, by themselves, and then to apply a "hand-under-hand" approach towards activities that they can't fulfill themselves. This guide also emphasized setting up an area before…
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Questions about Lewy Body
I've been my Mom's caretaker since her diagnosis in 2018. We started off with just dementia. In October of last year she was diagnosed with Lewy Body. She was recently released from Hospice care because she started eating again and gaining weight. In home health came in but cannot provide physical therapy because "there is…
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Keeping her from boredom
My LO has lost the ability to read and write. She does sometimes read out the signs we drive past on the road, though. She was a painter, but now when we ask her if she wants to paint she mostly says no, or maybe later. We have to cajol her and direct her brush to the canvas because she starts painting herself or her table…
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If you did everything your LO asked, where would you be in a week?
I sometimes wonder this when we are driving down the road and my LO is instructing me to take this left, this right, etc.