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How often do you do assessments?
My local Aging Matters sent me a "caregiving guide for unprofessionals" which emphasizes allowing a LO to do everything that they can do themselves, by themselves, and then to apply a "hand-under-hand" approach towards activities that they can't fulfill themselves. This guide also emphasized setting up an area before…
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Questions about Lewy Body
I've been my Mom's caretaker since her diagnosis in 2018. We started off with just dementia. In October of last year she was diagnosed with Lewy Body. She was recently released from Hospice care because she started eating again and gaining weight. In home health came in but cannot provide physical therapy because "there is…
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Keeping her from boredom
My LO has lost the ability to read and write. She does sometimes read out the signs we drive past on the road, though. She was a painter, but now when we ask her if she wants to paint she mostly says no, or maybe later. We have to cajol her and direct her brush to the canvas because she starts painting herself or her table…
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If you did everything your LO asked, where would you be in a week?
I sometimes wonder this when we are driving down the road and my LO is instructing me to take this left, this right, etc.
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Stuck in time
OMG, I just downloaded Jennifer Ghent-Fuller's "Understanding the Dementia Experience". My issue of mom being stuck in a 1970's anger was completed explained!!! Memories disappear from newest to oldest. People with AD often have memories that only go up to a certain age. So my mom now often only really remembers up until…
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Vascular Dementia (VD)
My dear almost 91 year old Mother was diagnosed 12/31/20. I am her primary caregiver and because I hear, see & feel her condition worsening over time I am becoming increasingly frustrated & angry. Many times over the past 6 months I am up 2-3 times during the night to assure she safely gets back to bed. My Mother is very…
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He's still here but I'm already grieving
I miss my dad. He could fix anything. Answer all my questions. Always kept me safe. I'm trying my best to keep him safe now, answer his many questions about why this is happening to him. He's such a private man. Never showed it if he was sad or scared until now. I don't know how to watch this progress, each day my heart…
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I’m making myself ill
I’m afraid I’m going to have a heart attack or stroke if I don’t quit obsessing. This is not really a dementia post. it’s an I can’t do this anymore post. My Mom with dementia and my stepdad with possible dementia have run my tank of mental and emotional reserves dry.luckily they don’t live with me- they are in assisted…
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Mom is stuck in 1970's anger
I have a question that may sound heartless, but my father and I are starting to break. Mom is stuck in some kind of 1970's anger towards my dad. Dad was not a good husband or father back then and their marriage was incredibly rocky. Screaming matches over my dad's absence and bar-hopping were constant then, but my dad grew…
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I am in your debt AlsConnected
My life was upside down and my mind was ready to explode. I didn't know what to do. But I knew I couldn't continue like that. My mom's paranoia, constant sobbing, these imaginary children, people coming to get her/us... My first day on this site, I was given this one tool by the kind people here. REDIRECT! Now, it is night…
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Help, Personal Hygiene with my LO is becoming a battle!
Hi, I am running into a phase where it has become a battle to have my mother with Alzheimers take care of herself in the hygiene department. It is a battle to get her to shower and change clothes. She gets very angry and then upset. She will go days wearing the same clothes. She has moved past wanting to brush her hair and…
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Dementia elderly sits on the toilet for very long time.
Hello everyone, I am new to this forum. My 97 yeas old dad suffers from dementia and the condition is deteriorating. He frequently needs to use the toilet and sits there for hours not willing to get up. We are running out of ideas. Please give us some suggestions on how to deal with this kind of situation. Thank you…
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Mental Health Day for Caregivers
I have tried to take breaks, when I leave the house it's never long enough. I've tried day trips (going to area resorts/pools) to enjoy the amenities, but since I can not stay overnight it's not fulfilling and $$$. Most properties in the area do not offer 'day passes' for amenities only, so I pay for full property access…
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How do you handle their worries about money?
For those of you whose loved one is in private pay independent, assisted or memory care: how do you handle your loved one when they ask you if their money will hold out? My mom was always the person who handled the money in her marriage for 55 years. Now she can’t. I’m trying to handle that function. - with my hand tied…
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Advance advice on moving from AL to MC
My mom is about to move into AL. She is still fairly independent. She's not on any medication, still bathes, feeds and dresses herself. She was even managing her bills though she was driving her vendors crazy because she often called them multiple times a month to confirm payment or that the statement had been sent. I put…
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Whispering(1)
For the most part, my wife is relatively easy to care for, but she has developed a few annoying habits. The one that is driving me insane is that, whenever she talks to me, she whispers so softly that I can hardly understand a word she says. She talks loud enough around other people, but always whispers to me. Telling her…
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Invalid Power of Attorney - Legal Name Incorrect
Help or advice needed: The person I care for drew up a durable POA via Legal Zoom prior to his dementia. At this point, however, he is no longer competent to sign documents, etc. so a friend who was assigned power of attorney is trying to invoke it. Problem: The POA document appointed his friend Tom, but Tom's legal name…
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A rant about some Memory Care facilities.. Nickel and diming...
The more I look into Memory Care facilities, the more I find that many are not transparent about their pricing "schemes." Several of the nicer Memory Care facilities that I have evaluated include a certain number of hours per month of "individual services" in the monthly rent. These services can include escorting your LO…
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Memory Care(6)
My grandmother (I call her Maw Maw) has moderate stage Alzheimer’s. She was officially diagnosed in June 2021. She is almost 89 and lives with my Grandpa who is 87. Until the last month or two she was relatively stable with a slow progression and he was able to handle everything. Starting late April/early May she started…
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Landline phone
My mom has had a home connect phone from Verizon for many years. It has worked well. She got to keep her landline number. The box she has is becoming obsolete at end of year. There is a replacement but see quite a few bad reviews on it. Does anyone on here have experience with the new white one from Verizon? There is…
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Tony Bennett and Alzheimer's
Last Sunday, CBS 60 minutes did a story about Tony Bennett's Alzheimer's and memory loss. The fascinating thing about the story is that, in spite of his severe short-term memory loss, his singing memory is still intact. If you missed it, you can watch it online at:…
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Seizure, TIA, or what? Neither. Our welcome to 6e
I finally got to type the Friday and early weekend update, but poof. My phone glitched and website didn’t save the nearly finished draft. So I will do the Cliff Notes version. * Minor grossness alert * I thought it was the end of the line on Friday. DH had some real agitation starting early in a.m. (3a to be exact) which…
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Rehab hospital back to AL
I doubt there is a standard answer to this, but to those other long-distance caregivers out there - looking for experiences ... The rehab is discharging mom a week earlier than the 3 weeks they said initially (next week). I can’t be there, and neither can the other relative who is 82. The AL mom’s stuff is in, no longer…
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Things with Ann are better, and thanks --
I posted a month or so a go about Ann, an elder sister who has Alzheimer's. Her two daughters have found a memory-care facility that Ann agreed to move into, and three days ago she moved in. I post this in order to thank everyone on the forum who offered advice -- good advice -- and also to wish that everyone dealing with…
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Update on the one year Residency/Occupancy Agreement
A quick update on the one year lease agreement for the Memory Care center that we are considering. I found out that any continuous care facilities located in this particular state that are licensed with the CCRC (Continuing Care Retirement Community) are required to have a one year Residency/Occupancy Agreement. I have…
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Sweet stories
Just thinking that with all of the horrific things we see and experience as caregivers it might be nice to share moments of joy here. Can you share a story of joy, happiness, laughter….? Today I moved a load of things into my mom’s MC apartment. As we got to her apartment just outside of her door there was an old man in a…
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Good article on Stages & more
https://betterhealthwhileaging.net/stages-of-alzheimers-dementia/
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LO doesn't know if she wants to live with us
Hello, I haven't been active on here the past week, but I thought of something I wanted to share. My LO gets agitated and will talk about she has to "get going...." Every single day she has somewhere to "get going" to, and this is usually our main topic for the whole day. She will say she needs to go "home" which isn't…
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You may be interested in this person.
Lori La Bey has many great resources for all folks related to dementia. Please feel free to share. The Video is live now https://youtu.be/RMwUpWzvbsg Here is the link to the event on Dementia Map…
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Hard getting used to my mom being mean!
ve had a few days of my mom saying hurtful things. I know it’s not her talking, but it’s just so out of character and I can’t get used to it. I mostly bite my tongue. She seems to forget about what she says and goes on as if nothing has happened. I have a difficult time letting it go. Does it get easier? Cause I don’t know…