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Questions Frontal Temporal deficits
Where do I begin?...My mom has been having trouble since beginning of this year...multiple ER visits...for different things..she's been told she's full of bowels ( figured that one out)...March 12 Went to Er for uncontrollable shaking, ( ER night mare that night)...she bottomed out when they drew blood/ start iv...(…
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Dad was just put in memory care - Questions
Hello, I love my parents very, very much. So happy to find this resource. I am looking for a zoom call as well for support. A few days ago we put our Dad (93) in memory care. He has VD. I have never been told the stage. I would say based on a few YouTube videos he is moderate or borderline severe. When we visit him he…
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Skyrocketing cost of home health - How are you all coping?
Hello ALZ Connected, My LO has ALZ and she is about stage 5. She walks with her canes, reads her newspapers, knows who I am, is not aggressive anymore, and is overall happy and quiet. This is so unless there's a home health aide at the house and then all (stuff) breaks loose. For this reason I gave up on home health aides…
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Burnout(2)
What happens if a family has been caregiver for so long they are experiencing severe burnout but cannot afford nursing home and no programs are available. Does the state get involved or does the family just spontaneously combust? There are no daycare programs the elder can do, no services available and only one friend who…
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Reading a clock
My LO is in stage 7a per hospice. Yet she can look at a watch and still tell time. Is this normal?
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Dad doesn't seem to get it - vent
Some days my dad seems to understand that my mom has Alzheimer's, some days I just stare at him with a "what the hell" look as he interacts with her. He takes defensive tones while speaking with her or gets upset when she says she can't hear or understand what he said. He plays loud music late at night whenever it's time…
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No idea what to do
My parents moved to another state (10+ hour drive) in 2013. I believe my mom (nearing 80) began showing early symptoms of dementia around 2017, which I noticed during a visit. Of course that's all hindsight now. She stopped cooking and had always been the "cook" in the household, but was always dealing with knee pain that…
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Exelon patches(1)
Hi there, this is my first time posting. My 79 year old Mom was diagnosed with mixed dementia 4 years ago. It took a while to diagnose her because she started having initial symptoms after we lost my sister to brain cancer. Thought the memory issues were grief related. Over the course of the last 5 years, as she has slowly…
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Advice(4)
Hi. I'm trying to learn how to navigate my mom's dementia as it's suddenly gotten worse. We both see the same primary care physician. I'm allowed to make appointments and do things on her behalf if she's unable. However, is it allowable for me to have a doc's appointment to discuss my mom and the stress it's causing me…
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That was quick. DH is back in hospice
Different provider. Evaluated DH and enrolled him. They know he was just discharged from another hospice co but that had no bearing on their assessment. Felt that what they observed plus the Drs reco and DH’s recent history qualified him, no question. I almost cancelled the appointment as I’m really tired right now. But…
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She thinks she has no clothes
Mom is in mid stage of dementia. She is constantly telling me she has no clothes. I assure her she does and they are in her dressers. She tells me there is no dressers in her room. II tell her where they are and she goes in and is delighted when she finds them. She never gets her own clothes I get them for her but she's…
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Contacting estranged son for LO
My LO was in a fit of agitation earlier and took a set of her old index cards and asked me to read them to her. The first was a list of helpful sites and the second was her eldest son's name and phone number. He has been estranged from the family for reasons I won't go into right now. After I read that out, she excitedly…
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Advice for disagreement on care
Looking for advice on my current situation. My mom lives by herself in a two bedroom apartment. I have her stay with me when I can but my sibling and his spouse live close by and visit her twice a day for a little while but I can’t verify. My mom is diagnosed with mild to moderate dementia. She has a fast score of 5/6 and…
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Need Your Help - Bidet Seats
Goodness; the topic of bidet seats has become a quest. Three very elderly amazing aunts who are sisters in three different states have got onto the topic and are asking me for information about how to choose a bidet seat of which I have no knowledge. They all want such a seat and must choose well as it is a major purchase…
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Reclining chair that she can use easily and safely unaided
I want to find an appropriate reclining chair for my wife, Barbara. It should have a firmly padded seat that she can stand up from using her own strength and should recline under her control (powered or not). While compressed by her weight, the seat's top should be about 20 inches off the floor (preferably adjustable). She…
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Mom wants to go home for 1 day... should I agree?
My mom has Alzheimer and has been in a care home for about 7 months. Since this care home is near my house, I can go there frequently to visit, about 3 to 4 times a week, depending on my work schedule for the week. There are days that she is calm and receptive and days that she isn't that nice. Even though that is what is…
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He's hallucinating today
Boy does AD keep us on our toes. DH just started telling me there's somebody moving around in the next room and he doesn't know what they think they're doing. I first tried the "oh we are the only ones here in the house now sweetheart" and thought he let it go. He was just humoring me.So, when he said he'd be calling the…
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Mil with AlZ/ Broken Family Dynamic/ No Planning/ Venting
A few months ago my MIL received an Alzheimer’s diagnosis. She had been forgetful and exhibiting symptoms of the disease YEARS prior. When this journey began, my husband had several conversations with his step-father asking that he seek out medical attention/guidance from a facility with dementia expertise. This didn’t…
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Building Reslience
To set the stage, I'm an only child with no extended family nearby who has my 88 year old mom with mid-state dementia living with me. I work from home. I'll be the first to admit I'm experiencing caregiver burnout. However, I also know that I need to build up my resiliency so I can let things roll off. While my mom is…
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Home Care and Assisted Living in MD
My wife diagnosed with moderate AZ in 2019 at the age of 55. I am the only caregiver for last 40 months. Cleaning, Bathing, Feeding, Exercise etc All done by me. Try to do everything to keep her happy. I am very tired and lonely now. Only relieve I get when cry to GOD at night by myself. She does not qualify Medicaid. Any…
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The Fallout after moving LO to a Memory Center
Hi Fellow Caregivers, Do you ever ask a question on here already knowing the answer? Here goes... My LO: Stage 5, living at home alone, anemic so sleeps a lot, prefers to be alone or only with family, has a care giver come to the house, and my sibling and I take care of everything else as a functional team. POA's, Elder…
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New caregiver and drowning
Hello, My dad has dementia-undiagnosed but with symptoms of sundowners. He is 93 and my mother-his primary caregiver is 92. They are stubborn and determined to stay in the 4 br 2 story with a walkout basement home. I live 45 minutes away but my sister who is retired and a nurse is within 5 minutes. My brother is 10 minutes…
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First virtual meeting with local support group today
My local Aging Matters helped to get me subscribed to a caregiver support group. They do not meet in-person currently, but there is a virtual meeting at 2 that I am planning to call-in to. This will be my first time meeting with the group. I'm really thankful that I have this resource now.
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Three Faces of Grief
Lately I have been much moved by the writings of readers and friends as they work their way through Caregiver Recovery. I hope you are too. Three Faces of Grief: Reflection https://www.stumpedtowndementia.com/post/three-faces-of-grief-reflection Three Faces of Grief: Anger…
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Getting out of bed
I wrote about my FIL being restless in the wheelchair and doing 360’s in the bed. Now he has figured out how to get out of bed. He is scooting to the end of the bed and going through then12” gap between the rail and headboard. He ended up on the floor twice yesterday, not falling, but sliding off the bed. We have a bed…
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Well meaning family members driving me nuts
I guess I just have to vent a little.... Today I got a whole series of messages from sisters & the aide. My sisters decided my mom needed to give a graduation gift to the 4th grader next door, and they figured the aide (who doesn't drive and must pay for Ubers) could go run the errands. I ended up spending an hour today…
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At a crossroads/late stage Venting
So after our horrible screwup with respite care (see previous post on it if interested) mom contracted COVID. She was in the hospital for 5 days. I now have it. She developed DVT with numerous blood clots in her legs. The very caring doctor asked me if I wanted to purse working on the clots in her condition. Wishfully I…
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Having to vent
Dh and I have been taking care of his mother the last 3 out of 5 years since she has been diagnosed. We have been trying to keep her on a routine. Our world was turned upside down on Christmas day of 2021. We lost dh sister on Christmas day due covid. We were all living on same property to have some help with mil. Since…
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A poem by Paul Micheal Fazio
My memory is leaving me My memory is leaving me and I feel so very sad I wonder if my life was good or maybe it was bad Did I have a girl who loved me so and also did I love her? I wish and pray that someday I could easily remember My memory is leaving me and I don't know what to do I think my only hope in life is getting…
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Refusing In Home Care
Really need some suggestions/help. Mom in middle stage and dad just given 6 months to live. He’s very weak, fighting bed sores from weight loss, and unable to cook. We live 2 hours away and can’t be there every day. Unfortunately they are in a very rural area that simply doesn’t have meal delivery service or even a local…