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Starting LTC Policy?
Thankfully my parent bought a LTC policy, and it is about time to ‘start’ it. My question(s) about this are related to any pitfalls once you ‘call’ the company. My parent has a few accounts (annuity, life, investment) with the same company. I also have some dealings with them. I have broad Durable POA, and my parent has an…
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Moved wife to MemoryCare
The hardest thing in my life to do.I feel so guilty.I so long to just reach out and touch her.Im 74 and now fighting the urge to kickup my heels and flirt.Where did this feeling come from?Im crying over my wife but yet having wrong urges.I cant believe i shared this.
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Hospice called police
Hi. I am new here. My dad is caring for my mom which is 3 hours from my home. We have a deposit on a MC place and waiting on the eval from them to move her in. In the meantime, we got hospice set up. Today they were trying to give my mom a bath and she was being combative and so my dad slapped her. The aid called the…
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First weeks in assisted living for MCI
We are now in week 4 with my mom in assisted living. I wanted to go home to my own family but there are still so many things to do. I spent the whole weekend sorting out endless endless clutter, barely made a dent, including a jar of apparently my baby teeth! Yuck. and letters from dead people, and am now depressed. Today…
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Bible Verse 5/10/22
BE JOYFUL, REJOICE! Philippians 4:4-8 GNT "May you always be joyful in your union with the Lord. I say it again: rejoice! "Show a gentle attitude toward everyone. The Lord is coming soon. Don't worry about anything, but in all your prayers ask God for what you need, always asking him with a thankful heart. And God's…
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Dad requires surgery broken hip.. many decisions to be made
I was to write to you all a few days ago to help me make a decision in regards to dads care. He was back in his home back in March with hospice, 3 Medicaid workers, and one daughter. Came April I asked hospice to take him off because they were having trouble waking him. Hospice suspected meds being administered too close.…
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Mom with Covid
My 96 year old mom in nursing home has Covid. My issue is with the nursing home, her roommate who’s bed is approximately 10’ from my moms who tested positive on Monday. The nursing home did not isolate her to a location away from my mom and now my mom tested positive. The answer I received from the director is the CDC…
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Dementia Proofing Kitchen Knives.
Recently my wife cut the lock off the refrigerator using a large chef's knife. That lock relied on a tough nylon strap holding the doors closed. That was sufficient to stop a child from gaining access to the refrigerator but not particularly resistant to a sharp knife. The damaged lock was subsequently replaced with a…
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The Emotional Aspects
I read some of these stories and they are very heartbreaking. Some of you adored your loved ones, some of you did not. I am in the middle of that. My mom had 7 kids and only the oldest was her favorite. She flat out ignored me most of my life. She was EXTREMELY critical. She had to always point out flaws. I found out last…
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Hygiene question (warning - TMI)
Ok, I tried to search on this but I didn’t see anything very specific and I kind of need specifics on hygiene for someone who is uncircumcised. My FIL is dealing with his 3rd UTI since January and currently going through treatment. I know from searching that we should be retracting and cleaning the foreskin area. The…
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Finding Comfort: Living with Advanced Dementia in Residential Care
https://www.caringkindnyc.org/_pdf/FindingComfort_cknyc.pdf
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Poem about the journey of losing someone to Alzheimer's
I lost my mother to Alzheimer's back in October and like many others I've seen on this message board, I started writing poetry to help process my grief. I've been touched reading the poems others have written about their loved ones and feel inspired to share a poem about the journey of losing Mom to Alzheimer's. The…
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Games for Cognitive issues
My sister has problems with cognitive issues along with her AL. She cannot read a clock, operate small appliances (simplest coffee makker), make $$change, along with many many other issues. We have a caregiver in the afternoons and evenings as she is more confused at that time of day. My question is does anyone have…
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Medicaid in Michigan
My Mom 81 is in the early stages of dementia/Alzheimer’s and I know at some point she’ll need 24/7 care. My stepfather made sure there’s hardly any money left, very little. Can I get her to apply for Medicaid now so that when this care is needed that part will be done? I’m pretty overwhelmed with everything and trying my…
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Diaper help needed
My daughter has a child just coming out of diapers and I have a child just going into diapers. For the most part, my wife can take care of her own toileting. However, she occasionally has incontinence, both bowel and bladder. Last night, I put a diaper on her for the first time. If you have experience with a diapered…
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Walks off from Caregiver
I stayed with Mom for 3 days to give Dad a break. She doesn't recognize me but was pleasant when I arrived and for the entire time surprisingly calmer than usual. But when we have a friend stop by to spend time with her she kicks her out, tells her to leave and walks off from her. Any suggestions on how to get her to be…
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Sharing A Poem
I wrote this untitled poem in response to abc123, in hopes it provides her some solace, I hope it will for everyone. ********************************************************* I hold your hand because I still can Enjoy the love we share and all we understand I fill the bird feeder for you to still see The beauty you’ve…
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Teepa Snow's Positive Approach to Care
I have been watching her free series on Youtube and I have found her short videos really helpful as I care for my LO. Here is the video about Teepa Snow, who is an experienced educator of caregivers. https://youtu.be/aH9Ok0D6tKc Hope you are all enjoying the moments that are precious and make each day we have with our LO…
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Elder Care prohibits us from keeping patient from driving...
Here goes: my half-sister, Ann (not her real name*), has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. At her stage she cannot remember directions, appointments, addresses, and quite a lot else. (She is remembering familiar faces, so far.) She is also prone to hallucinations -- or perhaps she "remembers" things that did not happen --…
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My friend Ken shared this with me. He is just an amazing person.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0eWtqMomlRs&t=2s
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Sedative?
So we are at the point that I will not be able to change/dress my FIL without some sort of sedative. Two of us can do it, but not me alone. He’s too combative. I used Ativan (which we abandoned for nighttime because it worked initially then he was worse a few hours later) and waited 30 minutes. He was a little better.…
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Appetite
My loved one was always a good eater and always wanted meat and potatoes. That has changed. He doesn't want meat anymore. Mostly, he doesn't want to eat. Some sites have indicated that you should push your LO to eat, but keep them hydrated and maybe supplement with Ensure. Is it wrong of me to tell him he doesn't have to…
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A Report from the GLOBAL COUNCIL ON BRAIN HEALTH on BEHAVIOR CHANGE
I may have shared this but don’t remember. If I did please let me know and I will delete. Thanks https://www.aarp.org/content/dam/aarp/health/brain_health/2022-03/gcbh-behavior-change-report-english.doi.10.26419-2Fpia.00106.001.pdf
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Column: Dementia is a place where my mother lives
https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/08/opinion/dementia-elder-care.html A beautiful write up by the daughter of a PWD who is in end stages titled "Dementia Is A Place Where My Mother Lives. It's Not Who She Is." It really struck me, having been through the end of my mother's life a few months ago. For those of you who had a…
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The Poetry
I want to thank everyone for sharing their beautiful heartfelt writings! I love to write and I do write poetry, but my stuff is kind of dark and angry because of my current situation. I REALLY do love how all of you poets just pave that silver lining! So thank you all so much!!
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Chat room(1)
Ha ha...I was just in the chat room thinking that was where I was supposed to be...I am new here. I feel really bad for the people who were in the chat room and got no responses. Everyone that was in the chat room left and I answered everyone's posts. So I talked to four walls in an empty chat room...this is why I am…
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Memory care location and family choices
How important is family contact for a memory care ward resident? Mom is Stage 5 and I'm seeing increasing dementia. I suspect within a year she will need to be in a memory care unit. Mom is a lifelong Florida girl, and my sister still lives in Florida. I'm in North Carolina. My sister has physical handicaps and may not be…
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Video cameras
Would greatly appreciate your advice on having cameras in the home. My mother lives by herself and I’m advocating to install cameras so I can check in on her. They also have talk function so if I see something, she falls, or my mom needs help, I can be there. My mom has a life alert watch but she forgets to put it on and I…
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From the NYT: Sizing UP Decisions of Older Adults
This may be behind a paywall for some-- Sizing Up the Decisions of Older Adults - The New York Times (nytimes.com)
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Alzheimer's Poem
Hello everyone, my mom has very late stage Alzheimer's and I wanted to share a poem with the community about my experience of the disease. I appreciate hearing from those of you who can relate. Thank you. Alzheimer’s Saying goodbye to someone alive Difficult to find the strength to thrive So many memories but so long ago…