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Long distance travel, tips?
Hello all. Late July is my mother's family reunion and I would like for her to be able to go as she had another family reunion last month and she talked about it for a whole week! Mom personally didn't know half the people there (it was her maternal grandparents' family) but the fact she could tell me about a one day thing…
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Medications for mood swings
My DH was diagnosed with mild to moderate dementia about eight months ago.He was put on Rivastigmine. Which the doctor is increasing slowly. The last increase in this coming September. Other than the forgetfulness the mood swings are bad. Very volatile. I asked the doctor if there was something that could help with this.…
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fibbing roller coaster
Boy oh boy, I'm finding it hard to know when to fib to mom and how to keep up with her! She's in a NH (has been for 7 months total, four at her current facility). Last night she called saying she was in her uncle's house and needed to go back to her house. She inherited the uncle's house when he died almost 12 years ago.…
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Feeling kind of distressed about the discharge
There are so many people posting needing help that I was trying to wait it out but the week to see if I'll stick with my decision is here because the hospital plan is to discharge this week. As some of you have read, dad underwent hip surgery and now doing in-patient/in-hospital rehab. My plan to the social worker last…
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LO Not Recognizing Substitute Aide - Does he need to go to MC?
My LO was happy his regular aide was going away for her weekend off. He was in great spirits. So much so that he ate a well rounded meal for dinner. They spent a nice day together and when I spoke to them both after dinner they sounded very good. My LO knows this women, but hasn't seen her in 3 weeks. She is the regular…
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VA just designated DH as Catastrophically Disabled, Priority 4
It took us a while > 90 days vs the 35 days eta, but finally! Confirmed today. I am very relieved. This will take care of my DH's med co-pays and some other much needed help as his condition progresses (declines). Caring4two I thank you for this important, accurate information which we've learned that even some…
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How much fluids???
How much fluids should my mom be drinking during a 12 hour period? During the day, from 8am until 8pm, she is drinking at least 2 bottles of water, a large glass of milk and fruit juice. She eats only baby food now because of problems with pocketing and swallowing. She eats and drinks small amounts several times a day. She…
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Pandemic and Rapid Progression of Symptoms
My mother has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and is now 75. She has had what seems like a rapid decline as her symptoms began about when the pandemic began. She is now what most would classify as middle stages. Has anyone else noticed rapid decline in health that correlates with pandemic?
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Setting Boundaries With LO Who Doesn't Think They Need Care
I joined this forum because it was the only one I could find that welcomed professional caregivers like me. I guess I'll use the word LO instead of client though, since most people here are family of their patient. I had a LO who needed a caregiver for meal preparation and walks around the long block for exercise. When we…
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Struggles over finances (among other things)
My husband has always handled the finances/bills - not because I can't but because he loves doing it. But now after a number of overdue bills, etc, I'm taking over and he is frustrated and angry and lost: He used to spend several hours a day going over his bank book, investments. So it is a major loss of power/function for…
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Decision making help
Hi! My 94 y.o father in law has undiagnosed dementia which has been noticeable since Fall of 2020. He has a vacation home in the desert, which is 100 miles from his primary home. He goes back and forth just about every week(habit) with a girlfriend (83) he met in the desert community a couple years ago. In April, his GF…
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MC placement friendly advise
If the time comes when you need to place your LO in a MC, please read. *Management is the key to success in a dementia facility. Ask what policy is in place for when a staff member has concerns. Hopefully management keeps staff concerns confidential and a thorough investigation would take place. *Staff should be aware and…
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 5/23/22
LOVE GOD'S LAW * GREAT PEACE * Psalm 119:165 Amplified Bible 165 "Those who love Your law have great peace; Nothing makes them stumble." * To me this means whatever hardship comes our way, we know the Lord is helping us. And we are given through His Holy Spirit the inner strength, guidance and peace we need so we are not…
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the transition
My mother is in the process of dying right now. She had been declining pretty steadily over the past several months, and has been non-verbal and needing to be fed for several weeks now. On Thursday evening, she was hospitalized due to an extremely bloated stomach and high blood pressure. Turns out she was septic and has an…
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Home Aide
I finally made the decision to get my LO a home aide. It's so hard to know if this is the right decision. She seems so with it and capable. My niece and her family live with my mom but it's a lot on them. My mom calls me every day multiple times to ask what she should be doing for the day. We have no idea what she does…
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Scooting down question
So far, my FIL is doing well in his Geri-chair but I have a question about the future. So, in his chair, we have to use a seatbelt to keep him sitting upright enough to eat. It goes between his legs and around his waist much like a baby car seat. When he finishes eating, we undo it and he scoots down immediately to almost…
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Returning DW to care home.
Does it ever get easy.Its so hard every time I take her out and then have to return her. TThis is 3rd week she has been there.I have issues with their care but I'm not sure another place would be any better.
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Looking for In-Home Caregiver in Houston Area
Hello… I am new here. My Dad and I have been primary caregivers for my Mom, who is in year 5 of an Alzheimer’s diagnosis. We have a daytime caregiver, but we are needing more help at home. Can anyone here refer a caregiver in the Houston, Texas area? I prefer not to go through an agency and I am looking for a personal…
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Went thru a move with MIL who has Alzheimers
We are getting settled in. She has late stage Alzheimers. She lived here when she was younger and we are hoping that being here will be healthy for her- that it may bring back more positive memories of the time before the disease. I find it so difficult to maintain a positive emotional connection and friendship with her…
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Am I being selfish?
My sister lives with my mom. I go up on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturdays. On Saturdays, I only spend 8:30 -1:00 at her house while my sister does some volunteer work. I usually spend about 8 hours each on Tuesday and Thursdays at her house. So, minimally 20 hours and sometimes more. We also have someone come in for 4 hours…
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games help keep him busy
I found another game to keep my dad busy & occupied (72YO, stage 6) - Lite Brite! Got it on Amazon. He needs a bit of help putting in the bulbs correctly at first - then he really gets focused on it & going. 3 others that work are PopIt (highly recommend taking to doctor offices for long waits), Rubik's cube and coloring…
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Was I wrong? What would you do?
We are getting to a really gray area that I didn't see coming. Currently at a plateau...6d and holding for a while. The daily grind with his disease at this point definitely isn't easy but isn't terrible - for DH or me - yet either. Some of the earlier days were actually much harder in different ways - like mid-stages omg.…
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Not Knowing People Transition
My DW has been seeing a neurologist for 6 years and had a neuropsych diagnosis of dementia/AD 4 years ago. One current aspect is that she does not know close family and friends by name at all. The person may have been with her a few moments prior. Usually, a picture is enough to get recognition and almost always she knows…
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Out of state caregivers need advice
Hi, I am new to the forum. Thank you for offering this place to find solutions for caregiving. My parents retired to SC, away from all family, and have enjoyed over 40 years there. Sadly, mother's Alzeimer's has progressed quickly the last six months although stable/manageable for 8 years before that. She no longer…
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Father Stopped Eating To End Life
My father is trying to kill himself by stopping eating. He told me this today in a rare moment of clarity. His eating has slowed down greatly since the uti and catheter. I thought it is part of the disease. His aide pushes him to eat and says he has to eat to get strong and live. And he doesn’t want to. I wish I could help…
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Talking about sucide
My mother has moderate dementia, along with my stepdad. 6 weeks ago, we had to move them from their home to live temporarily with my sister, due to more trouble managing everything— finances, food, bathing, etc. they lived across the country and are fiercely independent. We had been encouraging a move for the past 3…
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Non-sensical sentences.
How do you respond when your EO spouse comes up with a series of sentences that are unrelated and make no sense whatsoever? I know why it happens, and I know she's trying to communicate something, but I'm frequently unable to come-up with any kind of response. She is becoming increasingly incoherent over time.
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Dad’s 1st neuropsych appt
I’m drained, sad and angry. Picked stepdad up for his 1st neuropsychologist appointment. 50 minutes from their AL. 5 minutes of him telling me not to make any more appointments for him and denying he knew about this one ( he did) and 45 minutes of awkward ‘the farm fields look nice’. 30 minutes of paperwork. The…
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Advice for the phone
My husband keeps asking to use the phone to call his girlfriend. He even used information to try and get her telephone number with no success. I am the girlfriend and we have been married 54 years. I keep telling him I am right here in front of him. Any suggestions how to handle this issue.
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Every small win gets followed by a bigger hurdle
Just venting a little, again...It seems like every time I overcome a caregiving hurdle, a new one is right behind. Such is the Game of Dementia, I suppose... Get that POA signed. Done. Win! Doh! It's not valid to sign for her to sell her home due to absurd real estate laws where the property is. Ugh. Incontinence getting…