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Anger, Depression and Wine
My mother was diagnosed with mid-stage Alzheimer's last year. She is 80 and currently lives with my father (82) who is her main caregiver. I am an only child and I typically spend Thursday nights with her, and then work from there on Fridays to give my father a much needed break. She tells me how lonely she is all the time…
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Having to give up pet dog
My mom is in a memory care unit for about two years now. She has been allowed to have and take care of her pet dog of about 9 years old. Because it is difficult for her to now remember to brush her, let her out, and can no longer walk her after a partial hip replacement this winter, I'm told she can no longer have it. How…
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Switching hospice provider
DH have reached the point we have to consider a new hospice agency. We have so many issues with this agency. Meds taking a long time to get ordered, 3 weeks to get UTI and related concerns addressed, questions not responded to, phone calls ignored, repeated promises of a volunteer sitter which never happened, overworked…
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Sudden Babbling or Nonsense Sounds
Just wondering if others see times where there LO was fine just talking along with you and then suddenly words get stuck on repeat and they start making sounds or saying things that are just nonsense? This is the kind of thing that really throws us for a loop. It's hard to get my son with EO out of that mode once it…
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Recommendation for In Home Caregiver
Hello, My 90 year old mother with Alzheimer's disease has been living with me for close to two years now and her symptoms have slowly escalated during that time. She has begun to have short outbursts of aggression that are totally opposite her normal gentile personality. I have been able to quickly calm her down by…
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Finally Transitioning into MC Need Advice
Hello, I just wanted to say this website has been invaluable to see other peoples stories. Caregiving can feel extremely isolating at times. My wife and I are finally moving forward with placing my Mother in law in a memory care facility. We have both been caretakers for her since 2015 when she was diagnosed but showed…
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New to this life
I am new to group and way of life. My mother has been living with me since last Thanksgiving when she came for a visit (she lives in FL and I live in IN) and we have not taken her back. She talks about going home but "home" rotates between FL, NJ and IN. It has always been the plan for mom to live with me (and my husband).…
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Need advice(24)
I HAD to place my mother in assisted living early last December - her needs are now more than I can take on, I have others that I am responsible for and she needs 24/7 care - besides the issue of having to lift her with my bad back (she is incontinent and can't walk - originally due to a severly bad knee and hip, now I…
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Caretakers updates
So my mom has Alzheimer’s and is in MC. My dad is on the same campus but in the personal care unit due to several health issues and basically not being able to care for himself (bills, groceries, etc) without my mom at home with him. I have a caretaker that visits my mom 3x a week (I’m an only child with three littles…
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Metabolic encephalopathy?
My father`s diagnosis states metabolic encephalopathy - worsening dementia. I googled it, explanations are very vague. He spent 2 weeks in the hospital and then transferred to a rehab center and after just 10 days is eating on his own, can hold a conversation, able to stand and take a few steps. He is on his cell phone…
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transition from SNF to at-home care?
Hi, curious to know if anyone has experience with transitioning a PWD from a nursing home to in-home care. Mom has MS dementia, and in addition has mobility issues related to her knees. She is reliant on a wheelchair now. She does transfer herself from the wheelchair to the bed and the toilet, although with noticeable…
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Personality Changes(1)
How do you deal with the changes in personality? I’m having a difficult time with this. Now that my mom lives with me we haven’t had hallucinations/delusions, but she’s just different. Hard to really express what I mean. I’m currently in treatment for breast cancer and I’m struggling with anxiety and depression. One day…
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Mom’s sorting brought joy, but now I cry
Hello Everyone, When Mom first began sorting it was various trinkets in a jar in her bedroom or going through two old pocketbooks kept near her bed (containing old papers, programs from events and morning church services) I was happy. She found an activity she liked and would take joy showing me how she sorted all the…
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Off Topic - For A Smile Or Two
Sometimes it is just good to have a little something to smile at: Ravel's Bolero played by four musicians on ONE cello . . . https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10160283608514260&id=6569469259&m_entstream_source=timeline J.
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Lack of therapist in AL or MC
Hi. My mom is in MC in Florida. She's got some fairly severe depression and has just begun seeing a psychiatrist. My question is just more of a curiosity. I'm surprised that AL/MC don't have any type of therapist on staff and am wondering why. Is it a cost thing? Because they don't have to, so why spend the money? I know…
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Starting LTC Policy?
Thankfully my parent bought a LTC policy, and it is about time to ‘start’ it. My question(s) about this are related to any pitfalls once you ‘call’ the company. My parent has a few accounts (annuity, life, investment) with the same company. I also have some dealings with them. I have broad Durable POA, and my parent has an…
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Moved wife to MemoryCare
The hardest thing in my life to do.I feel so guilty.I so long to just reach out and touch her.Im 74 and now fighting the urge to kickup my heels and flirt.Where did this feeling come from?Im crying over my wife but yet having wrong urges.I cant believe i shared this.
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Hospice called police
Hi. I am new here. My dad is caring for my mom which is 3 hours from my home. We have a deposit on a MC place and waiting on the eval from them to move her in. In the meantime, we got hospice set up. Today they were trying to give my mom a bath and she was being combative and so my dad slapped her. The aid called the…
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First weeks in assisted living for MCI
We are now in week 4 with my mom in assisted living. I wanted to go home to my own family but there are still so many things to do. I spent the whole weekend sorting out endless endless clutter, barely made a dent, including a jar of apparently my baby teeth! Yuck. and letters from dead people, and am now depressed. Today…
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Bible Verse 5/10/22
BE JOYFUL, REJOICE! Philippians 4:4-8 GNT "May you always be joyful in your union with the Lord. I say it again: rejoice! "Show a gentle attitude toward everyone. The Lord is coming soon. Don't worry about anything, but in all your prayers ask God for what you need, always asking him with a thankful heart. And God's…
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Dad requires surgery broken hip.. many decisions to be made
I was to write to you all a few days ago to help me make a decision in regards to dads care. He was back in his home back in March with hospice, 3 Medicaid workers, and one daughter. Came April I asked hospice to take him off because they were having trouble waking him. Hospice suspected meds being administered too close.…
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Mom with Covid
My 96 year old mom in nursing home has Covid. My issue is with the nursing home, her roommate who’s bed is approximately 10’ from my moms who tested positive on Monday. The nursing home did not isolate her to a location away from my mom and now my mom tested positive. The answer I received from the director is the CDC…
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Dementia Proofing Kitchen Knives.
Recently my wife cut the lock off the refrigerator using a large chef's knife. That lock relied on a tough nylon strap holding the doors closed. That was sufficient to stop a child from gaining access to the refrigerator but not particularly resistant to a sharp knife. The damaged lock was subsequently replaced with a…
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The Emotional Aspects
I read some of these stories and they are very heartbreaking. Some of you adored your loved ones, some of you did not. I am in the middle of that. My mom had 7 kids and only the oldest was her favorite. She flat out ignored me most of my life. She was EXTREMELY critical. She had to always point out flaws. I found out last…
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Hygiene question (warning - TMI)
Ok, I tried to search on this but I didn’t see anything very specific and I kind of need specifics on hygiene for someone who is uncircumcised. My FIL is dealing with his 3rd UTI since January and currently going through treatment. I know from searching that we should be retracting and cleaning the foreskin area. The…
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Finding Comfort: Living with Advanced Dementia in Residential Care
https://www.caringkindnyc.org/_pdf/FindingComfort_cknyc.pdf
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Poem about the journey of losing someone to Alzheimer's
I lost my mother to Alzheimer's back in October and like many others I've seen on this message board, I started writing poetry to help process my grief. I've been touched reading the poems others have written about their loved ones and feel inspired to share a poem about the journey of losing Mom to Alzheimer's. The…
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Games for Cognitive issues
My sister has problems with cognitive issues along with her AL. She cannot read a clock, operate small appliances (simplest coffee makker), make $$change, along with many many other issues. We have a caregiver in the afternoons and evenings as she is more confused at that time of day. My question is does anyone have…
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Medicaid in Michigan
My Mom 81 is in the early stages of dementia/Alzheimer’s and I know at some point she’ll need 24/7 care. My stepfather made sure there’s hardly any money left, very little. Can I get her to apply for Medicaid now so that when this care is needed that part will be done? I’m pretty overwhelmed with everything and trying my…
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Diaper help needed
My daughter has a child just coming out of diapers and I have a child just going into diapers. For the most part, my wife can take care of her own toileting. However, she occasionally has incontinence, both bowel and bladder. Last night, I put a diaper on her for the first time. If you have experience with a diapered…