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Deeply Saddened
Hello everyone. Trying to get through yet one more f'n holiday season, pretending, dressing my table, buying fixings for Turkey Day, readying guest rooms for my sister and aunt and then sobbing all night missing my poor, dear husband who's in long-term care. He contracted Covid at MC in mid September; fell (again) and…
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He doesn't believe what he's told
Yall, I'm struggling with this. DH does not believe anything hea told. If one of our girls says she is doing A because of X, he thinks there's an alternate reason. The news just gave a number of $5800 and he says they misquotes that amount bc it was much higher. If I say something, he responds with "as smart as you are, I…
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Why nurses quit
It's a paywall. https://www.nytimes.com/2022/01/19/opinion/nurses-staffing-hospitals-covid-19.html?
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Back to church
Yesterday was our first day back to church since March of last year. It's and Episcopal church in the southwest and we received a notice that they were starting up in person services again without making a reservation but we were still required to wear a facemask. We got there and were greated by a gentleman who asked us…
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Im talking TURKEY
My daughter has a turkey recipe It goes like this 1) call my Dad 2)Tell him I need a turkey 3) Tell him how many people 4) Tell him when the Turkey needs to be on the table sliced 5) Wait till the doorbell rings open the door 6) there will be a perfect turkey I have been the family Turkey cook for over 50 years I am…
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First time on here!
Hi... DW has started to not take her pills. She takes water and then pills but she just gargles them and then spits them out. I can crush the regular ones but not the Time Release. Any thoughts on this? I ahve many more questions but this is a good start.
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What is the competency threshold for guardianship and conservatorship?
The kids are concerned their dad will contest guardianship and conservatorship, since the doctor's report says he's alert and aware. But the report also shows he scored a 7 out of 30 on the MMSE.
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Legal Docs Completed
Thanks to all who suggested that I see an elder care lawyer and get our wills updated and POAs in place. We/I got it all done this week! I feel relieved. Thank you for your suggestions and kindnesses.
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You see signs, but why should you get a diagnosis?
This is an article I copied a few years ago, and I thought it might help people who suspect dementia. Add to this that some medications might cause more problems for certain types of dementia. More than 50 conditions can cause or mimic the symptoms of dementia, and a small percentage of dementias are reversible. Two common…
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Resource Guide for Caregivers
Here is a link to a guide provided during a recent caregiver webinar. https://lor.nnlm.gov/op/op.Download_Share.php?documentid=4618 Happy Thanksgiving to y’all. Mary
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The Dogs know better...
While I wasn't looking, my wife fed her dinner to the dog. I was very upset with the dog.
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Any tips or suggestions for type 1 Diabetic going into Memory Care
My husband just went into Memory Care. It is on the campus of a large Senior Living community that has high overall ratings. His sugar monitor got lost the first day but luckily showed up the next day and I now have it on a lancet that is attached to his belt buckle. And I'm going to get software that parents use to track…
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Recent decline
Hi, My husband is showing a rapid decline since he caught the common cold. This started early in October with a cough. The night before we were to leave for my mother's, he could not stop coughing. I became so concerned, I called 911 at 2:30 am. Tests showed he had the common cold aka rhinovirus. All of the other covid and…
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You think you've heard about early onset - read this
You will probably get a box asking you to subscribe, but just close it. https://tinyurl.com/yw346y3f
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Lady Peewee - Upate On Peewee
Lady Peewee gave an update on Peewee; she placed her Thread on the Caregiver's Forum rather than her usual coming here. Peewee has been diagnosed with lung cancer, so those of you who know her from her long time on this Forum, you may want to let her know you are thinking of her:…
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OT...Ed and Gig
Miles Davis "After Midnight" Can I join the jazz group???
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Random Thoughts on Calories, Hospice, and the Dying Process
I talked to the Hospice nurse today about my DH's decreased eating and sleeping more. He is eating less than 3,000 calories a week. (When he was younger and doing carpentry work, he could eat that much in a day.) She said it was all part of the dying process. And he tires so quickly after sitting up in bed for no more than…
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Toileting issues in someone i thought was solidly in stage 5
Hi, everyone. Second post here because I am perplexed. DH was diagnosed with mild dementia, combination of AZ and VD, at the end of June 2021. Recently some toileting issues have cropped up. As long ago as February 2022, I noticed he was reluctant to use a public toilet -- even in a health care setting when it was a single…
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Realization(1)
I have seen three homes and they are all nice. The staff is caring and the premises are very clean. The residents seem very happy as well. What my realization is that my mindset has had to change. I always saw long term care homes as death incorporated and swore I would never commit someone in one of those places. Well, I…
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Girl got big
I have not noticed anyone commenting on this, so here is my take. Cooking and meal prep. Has been my job for years now. When we shop, I basically shop and she ponies along behind me making rare suggestions. This means I am running the calories at our house, and you would expect that we would pretty much stay the same size…
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Care plan meeting tomorrow
Finally have our meeting scheduled for tomorrow. I have spent the weekend preparing a list of questions and issues to address. Outcome will probably determine whether I leave her where she is or start looking for a different facility (though the very idea just exhausts me). She is still pretty independent in her ADL's, and…
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Three months on MCF for DW. An Update.
This will be long so TL;DR: I'm the guy with a deadly skin disease I developed from the stress of caregiving. I'm recovering with treatment. DW has been in an MCF for nearly three months and has adapted much better than I feared. Hopefully my story will be of some use to others, as their stories have been to me. Now for my…
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Update to Called Hospice
Hospice visited yesterday. They immediately qualified him. The doctor also reviewed his medical records and gave him a diagnosis, which he's NEVER had. We're to the point of hospice, 8 months in memory care, and no one had ever given him an actual diagnosis. The best has been "Presenile dementia", which I suppose says it…
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Seeing changes
My brilliant husband had trouble making the bed this morning - a task he has always enjoyed and performed upon rising. It took him 1/2 hour. He gets agitated if I try to help, so I stayed away. He has been having trouble with his computer lately too, forgetting passwords and getting agitated with it all. We have an…
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Stressed / anxious especially since I can no longer share
My DH still is my best friend - but then he's really not. I used to talk decisions over with him - but now it's usually "whatever you think" as a reply. He was the person who calmed my anxieties/worries - and now any mention of things that have me worried causes him confusion and anxiety. So even though he's still in the…
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Grandaughter's Wedding and other updates
Dear Forum Friends, it's been awhile since I have posted anything. It seems like somethings happens and before I can post, something else happens so I end up not posting anything. Last weekend, our granddaughter got married in Des Moines, Iowa. Her twin brother was married in late May in Indiana and we attended his wedding…
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Dealing with slowly losing my husband
I am new to this forum, new to dealing with advanced dementia, new to feeling lost, new to not recognizing my husband, new to keeping secrets from others...to protect my husband, the list goes on and on. We are in the process of changing our Neurologist, all I can get from him is that he has advanced dementia, I asked is…
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This country song makes me cry
I like just about all kinds of music except rap, but that isn't really music (I know I'm opinionated). But the first time I heard this song, I thought somebody wrote it for us. That was some time ago. Gene Watson - I Don't Need A Thing At All
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end of week
I am so glad it is the end of the week. Tomorrow is a the start of a new week. I want/need a better week. Someday the events of this week will be a funny story. But, not yet. That’s all I got.
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Accepting That I Am On This Path Alone
I have (finally) come to an acceptance that there is no longer any accountability or depth of understanding with my DH, he still has a surface persona, ask questions, tells me he loves me, remembers or obsessive over some things, showboats at the Dr.s or in front of family and friends but the many fractures to his memory…