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I moved my DH to a facility this week :,,(
Hi, my hubby was placed in memory care assisted living two days ago. I know it was time and a half dozen of friends and family said I did the right thing…but how do you get past the guilt? I feel so bad like he’s “in jail” at a facility. The place is very nice but he needs staff with him if he wants to go to the garden. I…
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Free Event: Celebrate National Family Caregivers Month
Caring for the Caregiver Join us at 4 p.m. ET November 17, as All of Us partners FiftyForward, the National Alliance for Hispanic Health, and the NNLM present “Caregiving Today.” An expert panel will highlight the importance of caring for the caregiver, available resources, and how data and experience can help drive needed…
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Repost - Using cannabis for your loved one
Repost from Alansad - very new to the discussion board and having difficulty figuring out how and where to post a question so I am giving this a shot. I am looking for info/discussion on those who currently using cannabis for their LO.Thank you
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When to Tell Employer of EO diagninos
My husband has been recently diagnosed with a type EO FTD, more specifically Semantics Dem. (effects language, word finding, understanding) at the age of 50. He currently is still working, however I fear he won't be able to work until he is able to retire. I want him to be protected at work because of his new disability,…
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How do I deal with anger?
Background: DH 82, COPD, CHF... 4 yrs ago I noticed his failing memory. Doc said it was just ADHD. Two years later, doc said dementia. He's been on Aricept for 6 mos with no benefit seen (conditioning worsening). He can still be left alone, but I don't know for how much longer. All the usual: asking same questions over and…
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Our Story
I originally wrote this in response to another post, but decided it might warrant a new topic. My wife was “asked” to retire in 2007, at 52 years old. She was a civil litigation attorney, working of counsel for our good friend after resigning her partnership in another firm. Looking back, many of her problems with the…
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The driving thing
Although my DH has been driving safely since he was diagnosed with MCI a few years ago he is beginning to exhibit some carelessness. We had the no driving discussion several months ago and he exploded. Although he has some driven some since the discussion to keep the peace (some of you know what that feels like), he…
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Have others experienced this?
For about a month now my DH has been having difficulty walking and keeping his balance. Even if he is using his walker he will tip sideways.......he has fallen several times. I always ask him before I leave the room if he needs anything. I tell him stay in your chair or call me..........do not get up alone........as soon…
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Kicked out update
DH is still at ER waiting for a bed. I read the notes from the ER docs and was totally shocked. He had declined more than I knew. He hates me and believes I am out to take his freedom and all his money. He believes he is the most powerful and important man in Nashville. He thinks he’s super wealthy. I also looked through…
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In a Time Warp
Sometimes I feel like I am in an alternative universe. I work full-time at home and care for my spouse full-time at home. Home is like a world that doesn't exist anywhere else. I don't understand 90% of what she says. She is angry with me no matter what I do to make her comfortable. She was once the most compassionate…
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The fine art of complaining by King Boo
I copied this post by King Boo, made quite some time ago. But I think it is an excellent post, and it could help others here. I'm not posting this for any particular person, but an FYI. "THE FINE ART OF COMPLAINING Things do not go perfectly, as we want them to go, in a care facility. Unless it is an horrific breach,…
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Nosebleeds
DH has had nosebleeds over the summer and into the fall. Not that many but has now had 2 this week. He has been on Donepezil for 2 years now. I see on drugs.com that nosebleeds (epistaxis) is an uncommon side effect. Has anyone else’s PWD had problems with nosebleeds?
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feeling so alone(2)
Hi, my name is Kathy and I'm 63 years old. My husband Billy, who is 65, was diagnosed with early age onset AD in January 2022. His symptoms started roughly a year prior (2 years after retirement) but we initially thought that his forgetfulness, misplacement of personal belongings, repeatedly asking the same questions and…
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More on the dangers of not visiting regularly
So, next week is seven months that my partner has been in MC (eight since she left home to be hospitalized). Today, I discover that they have been expecting ME to supply personal care items like TP, soap, shampoo, etc. I am livid that this was not caught sooner; I had asked once before, when I noticed that there wasn't…
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Disasters and dementia
I know Hurricane Ian was not a concern for most, but I have some enforced downtime, and some thoughts that may be of interest to anyone in any disaster area and/or spent time in Southwest Florida… A month after, many/most care facilities have fewer residents, b/c of building damage and/or no staff due to storm issues. Some…
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Fall
DH home for a week after spending 3 days in ICU and 2 weeks in rehab facility after a fall down basement stairs. He fractured several vertebrae in lower back and T6 in upper. Fortunately no surgery but has to wear a back brace and receiving PT and ST at home for a few weeks. He has always been that person that wants what…
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Lady Texan(4)
I just received a PM from her. She is becoming actively involved her mother, who has Alz. Lady has been having a rough time lately, but she might become active in the Caregiver's forum before long. She is a strong woman, and her experience will be helpful for all involved. One thing she asked of me: "Please pass along my…
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Just need to talk to my friends (181)
Morning, Sara, hope you can find some good tree people to do your work. It is not inexpensive. Many years ago we found a family who live near the Arkansas State line and have used them since. They have a chipper and are fast and good. We had trees that had big limbs over the house so had them taken back. I hate to cut…
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Loneliness and sometimes feeling isolated
As a caregiver for my spouse, who is unable to communicate, often I find myself feeling lonely and isolated. Fortunately I have help which allows me to stay active by going to yoga, reading, riding my bike and attending some social events. I have found the people friendly and easy to talk to at yoga and social events, but…
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Diagnosis Back to Square One
Just feeling a bit sad and depressed reading the passing of LOs. On the other hand, I can't help but rejoice that both PWD and caregiver are now at the "free from suffering" stage and wonder when it'll be my turn. Truly, hats off to the caregiver warriors who have bravely traversed this wretched journey. I am not as brave…
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Bathing(4)
I've been assisting DW for several years now with bathing and hair washing. However, just in last couple of months, she no longer will get in the bathtub or shower. I know she no longer recognizes me as her husband (now just a roommate), so I thought her newly found modesty was the problem. I started getting her hair…
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Turkey pie
It is the season for Turkey pie Turkey or chicken pot pie Ingredients 1 egg (for the crust ⅓ cup butter (look at the stick) 1 onion cut up small ⅓ cup flour ½ teaspoon poultry seasoning plus slat and pepper to taste ½ teaspoon thyme 1 cup chicken broth ⅔ cup milk I use evaporated milk which I dilute 1-1 with chicken broth…
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Depakote(1)
Just wondering if anyone on this site has used Depakote for their LO.
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Touring long care homes
I had my first tour of the long tour home that my dad was in. It was interesting to see how clean the facility was, the friendliness of the staff and the comfortable feeling overall.I was somewhat emotional but was wearing a mask so no one noticed. I was shown the dining room, the TV room etc. It was when I was shown the…
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Dating while still married and caring for my wife
I've been taking care of my wife for the last six years, and moved her into a memory home three months ago. I'm ready to move on with my life and start dating. I met a woman, but she's concerned I'm still married. I know there are other people out there successfully dealing with this situation. And I've even seen articles…
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E-Mails
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Medicaid beds
I’m searching for MC for DH and know that I can only pay for 2 years. I can’t find anyplace that offers Medicaid beds if need be. Is this common that I will have to move him to a different facility in the future? There may be one about 45 miles away. Is it better for me to be closer to him for the next two years and worry…
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Denial, Loss, then Acceptance
It's been awhile since I posted a thread on this forum and I hope this one has meaning. Like so many of us or maybe all of us I've struggled with denial. My wife was diagnosed in Feb. 2019 with AD, that was also the day the denial started. For the past 2 and half yrs I've lived in the world of denial. It wasn't until a…
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Sleep(4)
It's 5am and my DH just got me up. Nothing was wrong he just wanted me up with him. I know he was up earlier cuz the living room light was on. I said to my DH that maybe he should go back to bed. He agreed and he is sleeping in his bed. Is there anything I can do to help him sleep thru the night? He is 87 yrs old. I'm…
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I knew better
I'm new here so I'm soaking things up and feel I have a lot to share with people that understand. Hopefully all posts here are private and not searchable by google as many things I deal with day to day and experiences I post here can be sensitive and family members that may stumble across my posts will not understand.…