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Sundowning
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Without love where would you be now?
my DH Lonny passed August 12. My son came to visit and we went to dinner. After dinner a band started playing. I said to my daughter “I wonder if they know the song “Long Train Running” by the Doobie Brothers. It was “our song” that we danced to many times in the 1970’s. The next song they played was our song. 😭💔 Grief is…
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Will a distinct dementia diagnosis make a difference?
My mother is 88 years old and has been demonstrating mental decline for many years. She lives with my Stepfather who has been doing the heavy lifting almost exclusively for the years of this decline. 8 months ago, they asked to move closer to me because they knew they'd need more help as time progressed and they wanted to…
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How to pay for AL
Mom was diagnosed with vascular dementia 1 and a half years ago. She has been in AL about 6 months. She has enough money now to pay for 1 more year. We have been to the lawyer and I have DPOA, she made a will, a living will, a medical POA and a ladybird deed (at her death the house goes to my brother and I and there can be…
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Any suggestions for a toothpaste that is safe to swallow?
And preferably does NOT foam. How do you manage oral care for someone that is unable to rinse and spit? My primary concern is keep her mouth sufficiently clean to avoid excess bacteria and minimize the risk of infection. Thanks everybody!
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Here we go again -Sorry this is long
There's nothing like a toxic family to make caregiving unbearable. I spent 7 years caregiving for two elderly family members with dementia. I have two siblings that questioned absolutely EVERYTHING and would not listen to me even though I was the one doing the actual work. I spent as much time explaining and defending…
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Anyone use revastagmine?
My DH was taken off donepizel a few months ago and put on revastagmine because he also takes escitolopram. Apparently there is some concern about an interaction with donepizil. I am not a doctor so I am not sure what the story is. Just wondering if anyone else is going through this.
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@ M1
You have often mentioned that sleep fragmentation is a part of AD. As you may know, I don't have AD, but a diagnosis of cognitive impairment nos. Lately, I have been having worsening sleep fragmentation. I may sleep for one to three hours, or not at all during the night. Yet around 6 am, I will fall asleep for another five…
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Afraid to use the toilet
Hello, fellow travelers. Today was day 17 of DH’s hospital stay, and I am weary to the bone. I am spending 10-11 hours there a day because he is so lost. Yesterday and today, a new issue popped up: he is afraid to use the toilet. He will use it successfully all morning, fall asleep, then wake up afraid to use it. We make…
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Honeymoon period after move to ALF?
It’s been 3 weeks since my mom moved into an ALF. After a couple of nasty days , she seems to have accepted the routine and is very different. While at home with me she would just stay in her room calling her friend, she wouldn’t get up till mid afternoon , wouldn’t come down for meals, was basically becoming a mushroom.…
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Feeling Guilty/Stressed
Hi Everyone - first time here. My father had a stroke last March and was diagnosed with Alzheimer's/Dementia....he is around Stage 4-5. I am an only child and we had to move him in with my family....Husband and 2 kids (13 and 11). It's been a little over a year and it's really taking a toll on me. My job is being really…
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Support for the spouses or partners of dementia caregivers!
:/ Is there any information on support groups for the spouses or partners or the caregivers or info on what it can do to a relationship or marriage? Any information is greatly appreciated!
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ER again
My dad fell again yesterday. It's the 3rd fall in 2 weeks. He scraped his hand pretty badly and paramedics took him to the ER when his BP was over 200/100. Hospice nurse says he's going to end up bed bound if he keeps getting up from his wheelchair and falls. Mom has been encouraging him to keep walking as much as…
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Air Tag
My DW has been showing signs of memory loss for 3+ years and continues to decline. We were gifted air tags last Christmas so I set them up and placed one in her purse (she does not carry a phone and would not know what to do with it), and included children in the connections. This last Sunday afternoon we took our usual…
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My DW changes moods
Every week I take my DW to a local "equine therapy" farm because of her love of horses. When we arrive, she often grumbles that "I'm not getting out of the car!" or "I don't feel good. I'm going to stay right here!" And so I reply by saying, "Okay, we'll sit here for a while." Yesterday when the same worker we see every…
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He is like my shadow
God love my bf (eoa age 45) but what is with the following me around like a puppy? I was cleaning around the house and every time I turned around he was right there. I went to shake out a rug and he was right behind me. He is so light footed I didn't hear him. I got upset and told him I'm not going anywhere I just need…
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MedicAlert bracelet or something else?
MedicAlert Foundation sells bracelets and monitoring. Family notification is included at the $55/year level and for $75 they will "work with local authorities to get them home." Alternatively I can just buy a similar bracelet on Amazon and have my cell number engraved and skip the monitoring. Does anyone have opinions on…
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post placement
Over the past 7 years I've been caring for my DH I've benefited so much from the advice and knowledge of these discussions. We celebrated our 60th wedding anniversary this year and next week I will be placing him in memory care. I am devastated and and would really appreciate hearing from those who have been through it…
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PT recommending Subacute Rehab
Hi All! My DH is in the hospital with viral bronchitis. He is stage 6 dementia and is always disoriented and delusional. Last week he caught a cold and it settled in his lungs. On Saturday he fell a few times so I called for an ambulance. He fell twice in the ambulance. They couldn't wheel him in because we had snow. They…
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Totally inappropriate and weird clothing choices
We live in a CCRC and have a communal dining room. My husband has started picking out really bizarre clothing ensembles to wear to dinner. For example, last night he wanted to wear jogging pants, an orange long sleeved biking shirt, and a white button down shirt with a white undershirt over it, a tie that was tied with the…
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Recommended meds for anxiety and obsessions?
I am going to be seeing my primary care doctor soon (she is also my husbands doctor) and am going to push for meds for my husband to control his obsessions and anxiety. He has anosognosia. Has anyone used Zoloft/sertraline with good results? Are there other meds to consider? Our doctor is fairly young and I am not sure she…
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Frustrated
does anybody feel like they are frustrated and can’t do anything all I’m doing is a Word Search online and it feels like I can’t even do it.
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Just dropping in
It's been a while since I've posted. I've been reading some of the threads, and nothing seems to have changed. It's still heart break and difficulties, and carrying on. I'm sorry that good people have to deal with such a difficult problem. For those of you who had a LO pass on, I can't say I'm sorry they are no longer with…
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Coping with grief
My wife passed 8 days ago. I was her full time caregiver for 3.5 years. I read a lot about the grief process and what to expect after a spouses passing. There are 2 things that happen to someone in my situation. A tremendous euphoria comes over you after your spouse passes because the weight of care giving is relieved.…
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Feeling guilty
We’re moving my mom into a smaller apartment in Independent Living this weekend since I’ve had to up her caregiver hours recently and the cost of her 1-bedroom has recently gone up significantly. My hope is to give her more time where she is happy before making a bigger move. But of course she’s just annoyed and unhappy…
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Do former caregivers get anosognosia?
I'm just wondering - after all that I've been through and all that I've learned, is it possible that I might have insight into my disease if I develop Alzheimer's? Or am I just as likely to give my future caregivers the same hard time that my hubby gave me and my brother is now giving me? Both men angrily denied that there…
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Feeling Guilty/Stressed
Hi Everyone - first time here. My father had a stroke last March and was diagnosed with Alzheimer's/Dementia....he is around Stage 4-5. I am an only child and we had to move him in with my family....Husband and 2 kids (13 and 11). It's been a little over a year and it's really taking a toll on me. My job is being really…
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Night time going home trips
LO will drag herself (or I'll help her) get to bed. Usually falls asleep in the recliner. Just totally tired. Probably around 9-10. And suddenly reappear with her comb and brush. Refreshed and ready to go. We go and she nods of on the trip. Help her to bed. And about an hour later back with comb and brush ready to go. One…
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Recent Diagnosis
I was just diagnosed yesterday with early stage Alzheimer’s. I am overwhelmed with fear. I go from being hopeful to having very little hope at all. I’m afraid of who I will become and what my illness will do to my partner. I came here for emotional support and guidance regarding how to move forward.
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The ups and downs of this disease
Just venting here! I wish I could understand/predict what will affect my MIL's behavior! Two recent events and she reacted the opposite way in both situations than I was prepared for. We recently took her across the country, on the plane, to visit family. We discussed it for months before. I very much expected a panic…