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How to say "No" to adopt a new dog
Hi everyone: I'm really struggling with this one. My MIL's beloved dog passed away two weeks ago. He had been getting sick over the past weeks and she never identified that there was something wrong with him. Example: he had a huge tumor on his toe that burst open and bled everywhere. She only cleaned the blood on the…
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Support group?
I am 22 and a caregiver of my grandma with dementia and looking for a support group chat for people who are also a caregiver. I was thinking of making a discord server or instagram group chat. Please comment if interested. I would like to share info I know and get advice from others. 🙏
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Question about using Depends
DH as has had only a couple of accidents related to incontinence. But it really upset him. No knowing what the recurrence would be I suggested Depends or the underwear inserts. He said no way. I just ordered them and snuck them in. When he had another accident, I showed them to him. Now he loves them and wants to wear them…
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Memory
My DH has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Is it normal (usual may be a better term) for him to remember some things better than I do yet not remember other things?
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Need suggestions!
Hello out there. We are moving my LO into memory care in the next couple of weeks, but not sure how to go about telling her without a complete meltdown. Looking for suggestions/ideas/success stories. I intend to make up a little white lie in order to have it make sense to her as to why she would have to move out of her…
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Mom’s Dementia
Hello, I am new to this site, but felt it’s time I should join to get help and insight. April 2020, my mom got Covid Pneumonia. Prior to this, she was getting forgetful and accusatory. Mentioned this to her doctors, but they said it was age. After a week stay, brought her home from the hospital. She kept saying her…
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When Will I Learn?
My brother is awful! He agreed with the AL facility to put my LO into MC before giving her ample time to emotionally and cognitively transition from home to institutionalize care. (3.5 WEEKS) JUST TOOO QUICKLY Assistance depends upon the amount of staff a facility has. More staff equates to more assistance. Less staff,…
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Anosognosia - Mom refuses help
I am the only living child and live on the other side of the country. Mom (89) has lived on her own for about 5 years since my dad passed away. During that time i have been paying her bills and doing as much as i can from across the country. I first noticed my mom starting to experience memory lapses about 20 months ago.…
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Sometimes you have to laugh
So, just when life gets you down, sometimes you have to laugh. Last night my DH started to panic. "We have to get out of here! I know what I'm talking about. We don't have security clearance. You need to go cook dinner across the street." None of this made any sense, of course, but the best line was, "Where can I find…
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Genome testing
Moms doctor has suggested genome testing to see what medication she will respond best to for her anger and anxiety. It’s just a mouth swab and she said it would be covered by insurance, so we are going to give it a try. Have any of you had this done for your LO? Was it helpful?
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Newbie feeling alone
Hi everyone, I'm Catherine. I live in California. My Mom is 89, has MCD and currently lives in South Carolina. We are at the tail end of a 6 month process of me taking over everything and moving her to a CCC close to me in CA. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel for this part of the process, and will be so…
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excessive sleeping
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Appointments
I am my mom’s caregiver. I am not looking for medical advice, just looking for different views. My mom is almost 85, later stage Alzheimer’s. My question is, when do you start limiting all of the extra doctor appointments? Example: she has an annual appointment with her vascular doctor. They test the pressure in her legs.…
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Dilemma about Memory Care
I have two questions: First, almost universally the memory care facilities I have visited say you should place your person sooner rather than later. I wonder what the evidence is for this, or whether it's easier for them to have less impaired people. What I see, almost everywhere, is people who are mostly pretty far along…
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Primary Geriatrics PCP prescribed Lexipro
Hi all, My dad’s primary care Dr prescribed Lexipro for his looping thoughts and anxiety. anyone have an experience with this? How were the results did it help at all? Dr said she has had good results with her other dementia patients with it for anxiety.
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Locked doors
We are approaching the point of keeping doors locked. During the day the front door is blocked by a sun screen. The side door is open. I am able to keep an eye on things. Not sure how to phrase this….i am wondering how peoples LO react when they find the doors locked. Especially t first. Thank you….
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TIME TO HIDE THINGS
DH thinks he is being helpful, but he's not. Today he put my computer somewhere??? and my headphones too. I was out for a couple of hours and when I came home they were missing. He managed to walk out with my computer, but my headphones are still missing. He thought I would want to put my computer away somewhere else and…
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Transitioning to MC
Would any of you mind sharing your experiences broaching the subject of moving your LO into memory care? I will be having this discussion soon and want to hear the good, bad, and ugly!
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Forget Me Not
While I have found this site very helpful I have also searched You Tube and found several other very informative sites for caregivers like myself and loved ones that others may find helpful. I found Answers About Alzheimers on You Tube and a very informative and helpful book Forget Me Not by Debra Kostiw. Using the…
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Went looking for love
Well I did something I'm not very proud of, but I'm getting to the end of my rope. I have been so lonely and in need of companionship. DW is late stage and we are in year 7 of this journey. I'm still relatively young at 65. I decided to go onto one of those dating websites to see if I could find someone willing to spend…
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Obsessive plant watering
my DW is watering our plants 4 or 5 times a day. They are desert plants. Not only don’t they need it but it’s affecting them adversely. Any ideas how to redirect the behavior without hurting her feelings?
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Post from new caregivers group- please respond to poster
@Penny Hansen Penny posted the following on the new caregivers group. Please tag her when you reply. My DH has recently moved to an increased level of memory loss. He does not recognize me or our home. He has a lot of questions, and I am unsure how to respond. Some of the articles I read encourage the caregiver to meet…
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Frustrated!
For the most part, DH is very easy to care for. I hate our situation and I long for what used to be a happy, content life, but I feel fortunate because I know it could be allot worse. Every once in awhile he comes up with something that throws me for a loop, though. Lately he refuses to cut his toe nails. He says they…
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Activity, shadowing, and denial...
Hi! My husband is in moderate stage dementia. We don't have children and nor do we have a large network of friends or family who are able or willing to help much. Once very social he is now shying away from people probably due to word finding challenges. I know I am early on in my caregiving journey and these problems may…
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Colonoscopy Brings Complications
I am 81 years old, but active, strong and healthy. My DH is 86 and diagnosed in 2021 with Alzheimers. He has remained gentle and sweet, very helpful and in good physical condition otherwise. Just doesn’t remember 5 minutes ago. I am his anchor and he tells me that all the time. So now I have had a colonoscopy on the…
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My father with dementia lost his wallet
Hello everyone, my father with dementia has lost/misplaced his wallet. The cards have not been used since Saturday which was when he made a transaction. I got here today and torn the house apart can’t find the wallet. The bad thing is both his IDs were in there and we are scheduled to fly out Saturday. I’m now having to…
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Showering
The subject of a loved one having hygene issues and refusing to shower comes up often. In the NY Times, there is an article dated April 30, 2024 by Anna Gibbs titled "Why Is It So Hard to Shower When I'm Depressed?" I started reading with a hunch that there might be some overlap with what caregivers here experience with…
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My mom has undiagnosed cognitive impairment
Hello, I'm new to the discussions. My mom (77) is undiagnosed, but it is obvious she has what we believe is some form of dementia and has for years. She almost never remembers conversations we had, and she is also showing gaps in her long term memory. For instance, she didn't know my husband of 22 years had siblings and…
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Weird (maybe?) idiosynchracy
My 90-year-old mom with MD consistently loses her undies! I don't know how many pairs of panties I've purchased in the last year, but it has to be well over 2 dozen. She obviously has no explanation and forgets how often I buy them. I suspect some incontinence, and maybe she throws them away. Not sure. Has anyone…
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In home care dilemma
a few months ago my DW was having hallucinations and confused about who I was. We now have her on meds to help. There has been major improvement in the hallucinations and confusion. Her memory is not good and doesn’t even remember going to the Dr yesterday. Because of the tough times in the last few months our sons…