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Post from new caregivers group- please respond to poster
@Penny Hansen Penny posted the following on the new caregivers group. Please tag her when you reply. My DH has recently moved to an increased level of memory loss. He does not recognize me or our home. He has a lot of questions, and I am unsure how to respond. Some of the articles I read encourage the caregiver to meet…
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Frustrated!
For the most part, DH is very easy to care for. I hate our situation and I long for what used to be a happy, content life, but I feel fortunate because I know it could be allot worse. Every once in awhile he comes up with something that throws me for a loop, though. Lately he refuses to cut his toe nails. He says they…
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Activity, shadowing, and denial...
Hi! My husband is in moderate stage dementia. We don't have children and nor do we have a large network of friends or family who are able or willing to help much. Once very social he is now shying away from people probably due to word finding challenges. I know I am early on in my caregiving journey and these problems may…
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Colonoscopy Brings Complications
I am 81 years old, but active, strong and healthy. My DH is 86 and diagnosed in 2021 with Alzheimers. He has remained gentle and sweet, very helpful and in good physical condition otherwise. Just doesn’t remember 5 minutes ago. I am his anchor and he tells me that all the time. So now I have had a colonoscopy on the…
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My father with dementia lost his wallet
Hello everyone, my father with dementia has lost/misplaced his wallet. The cards have not been used since Saturday which was when he made a transaction. I got here today and torn the house apart can’t find the wallet. The bad thing is both his IDs were in there and we are scheduled to fly out Saturday. I’m now having to…
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Showering
The subject of a loved one having hygene issues and refusing to shower comes up often. In the NY Times, there is an article dated April 30, 2024 by Anna Gibbs titled "Why Is It So Hard to Shower When I'm Depressed?" I started reading with a hunch that there might be some overlap with what caregivers here experience with…
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My mom has undiagnosed cognitive impairment
Hello, I'm new to the discussions. My mom (77) is undiagnosed, but it is obvious she has what we believe is some form of dementia and has for years. She almost never remembers conversations we had, and she is also showing gaps in her long term memory. For instance, she didn't know my husband of 22 years had siblings and…
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Weird (maybe?) idiosynchracy
My 90-year-old mom with MD consistently loses her undies! I don't know how many pairs of panties I've purchased in the last year, but it has to be well over 2 dozen. She obviously has no explanation and forgets how often I buy them. I suspect some incontinence, and maybe she throws them away. Not sure. Has anyone…
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In home care dilemma
a few months ago my DW was having hallucinations and confused about who I was. We now have her on meds to help. There has been major improvement in the hallucinations and confusion. Her memory is not good and doesn’t even remember going to the Dr yesterday. Because of the tough times in the last few months our sons…
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Working with an uncooperative caregiver/parent
My dad is the primary caregiver of my mom. My mom is in the middle stages of Alzheimer's and they are living alone in their own home. Dad refuses to share medical information regarding mom or himself (my siblings and I have seen a decline in his cognition, behaviors and abilities). Dad is unable to speak due to Aphasia,…
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In home care recommendations
Hello! I’m new to this forum. I’m supporting my dad who is sole caregiver for my stepmom who has dementia - I’m not sure what stage she’s in but the disease has progressed to point where it’s getting too much for my elderly dad to take care of her on his own. He’s struggling with accepting her true progression and knowing…
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Hearing Aid Guidelines - for reference
A very long time ago, while we were Peer Volunteers, Jo C suggested I write a standing post for reference about hearing loss and hearing aids for the person with dementia. Untreated hearing loss is a known contributor to cognitive, social, and medical declines. It contributes to social withdrawal, increases fall risk, and…
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Hygiene, Meds, Diet
DW diagnosed with MCI 7 years ago. Initial vehement denial, everyone out to get her into a home. Neurologist prescribed Donepezil to start. Very shortly she refused to take any med. As condition worsened, tried to add memantine with no luck. After first 2 1/2 years of her believing everyone "knew" about her diagnosis (not…
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When did you give up on doing errands with your LO?
Hello, fellow travelers. I am wondering about something I have been thinking about for a while, and it’s this: At what point in your LO’s disease progression did you stop taking him places with you? DH was diagnosed with mild dementia 6/21. Three years later, we seem to be sliding into stage 6. I have continued to take him…
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My sister is revising all my parents plans - I just can't deal with it
I moved both parents to an ALF three months ago. They both have gone downhill rather quickly. Mom has stage 5-6 dementia. Dad has COPD and was recently diagnosed with CHF. Both are double incontinent. Dad is showing signs of dementia too. Their living conditions are challenging. Ten years ago, they did their Wills, DPOA…
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Hearing Aid Guidelines posted under Caregivers
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Perfect circle, epic fail
My husband had his welcome to Medicare visit today. When it came time for the clock test, he drew a perfect circle, then nothing. Just a blank look when we reminded him he was supposed to put the numbers on the clock. He had no idea what to do. Pretty good description of life at our house. He can complete some tasks just…
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I live two different lives, depending on time of day.
The first half of my day is almost always good. The second half of my day is almost always bad. Today I got a lot of things done, more than usual, but tonight I pay for it. My brain is tired, and I am extremely agitated. And this is the way it goes everyday. I know it is called sundowning. It's hard to talk, it's hard to…
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New diagnosis
Looking for some bedroom gymnastics with curvy delights or pencil thin babes? We'll sort you out. They're all here strutting their stuff in lehenga, sarees stripping down to nothing as they get drilled real good by eager studs who can't wait to spice things up. Get front row seats to sweaty, moaning romps that hit all the…
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Losing my mom...
Hello. I'm 100% new around these parts, but I was encouraged by the counselor I spoke with at the Alzheimer's Association to post my story here in search of those with shared experiences. I (53) live in Texas with my wife, and my mom (83) lives in Miami, FL. Since moving to Texas in late 2012, I've traveled back to Miami…
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Brown Bottom
My BF 45yo EOA has stopped wiping his butt after #2. Which leave marks in his boxers. He says he doesn't know how it gets there. Any suggestions??? We are all in this together 💜
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an awful lot of tears here
Hello dear community, So, um, I am thinking that the amount of tears I am processing through might be considered excessive by others. I am in a support group and in counseling and I have medicines on board as support. Some folks pointed out to me that I clearly need to talk this out a whole lot more than most people have…
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Progression with acknowledging and remembering
Hello everyone, I have noticed a progression with my father’s memory loss. It seems to be getting much worse in the last 3 weeks. He can’t remember to much from one instance to the next. For example he will go to set his keys down and next thing you know he does t know what he did with them and now can’t find them. He…
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What to do with Dad
My parents (Mom is 85, Dad is 82) moved into an independent living apartment (after living in their home for about 53 years) about a year ago after Mom's mixed dementia became too much for Dad to handle. Mom had a stroke 5 years ago and Dad has relied on me to do all appointments, medical decisions, etc). I help as much as…
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Not a good day, steeling myself
My partner hasn't had a bath in a week and she is only eating if I'm there to feed her. She was very combative about a bath yesterday and wouldn't even let me help her get clean clothes on, so i left her standing half naked in her bathroom. I did tell one of the aides what a state she was in. I think I need to let both of…
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Caring for a healthy Spouse
My wife has Alzheimer's, 84 years old with a history of ALZ for 5-6 years. Her memory and cognitive skills are almost gone. She is totally dependent on me for daily living. She takes care of her personal needs. Otherwise she is very healthy. Can handle many tasks given close supervision. Even mows the lawn. She thinks she…
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My DH wants my undivided attention
Please give me your advice here. My DH wants my undivided attention. He can be doing nothing, but if I get on the phone to talk to a friend he always seems to “need” my help. And many times he says that me being on the phone is just when he thought we were spending time together. The truth is we are retired and spend most…
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Sundowning
Hello ! I am new here just looking for advice. My mom is 53 years old and in the late stages of Alzheimer’s disease. She starts sundowning around the time I get home from work and I’m looking for tips and advice on how to deal with it. Im so tired after work and I just want to relax so I get frustrated. She is on meds for…
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Relatively strong appetite in late stage 7?
My mom is in MC and on hospice in what I would say is late stage 7: in a wheelchair, no communication, no facial expression, rigid limbs, super skinny (her hands look skeletal—there is no other word), little or no vision in her left eye, semi-sleeping most of the time, etc. She is in her early 70s, diagnosed with EOAD more…
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Scratching, Scratching and more Scratching
It never quits. She has scared herself and I just keep plugging the leaks. I have tried EVERYTHING. Dermatologist said it was a part of the disease. Googled it and yes there are a lot of Alz patients that do this. I have tried lotions, oils, pills, changed washing detergent to hypoallergenic, don't bathe by 3 times a week,…