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PACE
Please share your experiences with the PACE program. I've just initiated contact with them. I'll post here once I get more info. If your loved one is receiving PACE services, please share details and tips, hours, ADL requirements, and whether you act as the PCA or bring someone in. Thank you. What is the Program of…
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Hypersexuality
My husband talks about sex constantly, uses language he never used before, and is grabby like a teenager ( he's 72). I am not dealing well with this, I see him differently now that I am his caretaker and he is incontinent and hates to shower. I usually change the subject but it's making him upset.
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A few positives
Good evening all. Or should I say morning. 1. Last Thursday night I went to check on him, as he was taking even longer to come to bed...we were entering hour 3 of the going to bed routine. He said he needed a little help. I went in and there was blood all over the floor. He had tried to cut an ingrown toe nail, and cut his…
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New Florida help for caretakers of PWD
I heard about this new government service in Florida today. They didnt give many details, but they mentioned ‘support’ for caretakers of dementia patients. Dont know what that would consist of, but if you are in FL + caretaking, it is probably worth checking out. the number is 800 963 5337
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Sundowners and delusions?
This is my first post here, and a bit embarrassing and frustrating. My DH has alz, and white matter disease—recently diagnosed. For the past year he has been getting up in the middle of the night claiming I disrupt his sleep by moaning and rolling around. This is NOT happening. I have recorded sleep cycles to show him this…
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Guilt and Regret
My wife passed away 8 months ago, and I was taking care of her 24/7. It was getting difficult, sometimes I lost patience and was abusive to her - other than the grief that I'm still going through for someone who I loved so much, how do I handle the guilt and regret that I feel at times? It was getting really tough at the…
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Hospice
Today the family got together and we added Hospice for our mother. Poor woman has been through so much, now she will get more attention and better care. Still hurts to see mom in this condition, I put it in Gods hands as always.
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Help- day centers? tips and tricks?
Hi! I’m new here and my mom was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. This is all overwhelming for us and I need help. Does anyone know of adult day care centers or how I can find them? Does anyone have any advice on what financial help is available? Also, any tips on living with a parent with Alzheimer’s? She has paranoia…
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Struggling to stay strong and get a bit of my life back
New to the group. I've been trying to deal with my husband's dementia in my own but it's too much. He's had dementia for 3 years now and in the past 6 months has had 2 vascular surgeries and a stroke. He is so weak and frail in addition to the cognitive decline. He struggles to even use a walker so getting out to even walk…
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Hospice started
Hello friends My husband was approved for hospice today. I'm all over the place. I'm sad and exhausted. It was hard to hear that we're at this point. I'm weirdly relieved in some ways. But honestly, I'm not ok. I appreciate all of you who have helped me so far. I'll continue to lean on this forum full of truly kind people…
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Advice on individual refusing to come inside
I work with a man who has dementia. Yesterday he insisted we go outside for ice cream. He refused to check his wallet with his phone (GPS tracking) and wallet for money. Then he went outside and refused to put on his jacket. I had to call his wife to get him to put on his jacket. He's middle stage, so I didn't feel safe…
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Newly diagnosed AD and living alone
Duh! I realized I had posted before in the incorrect theme? Aarrgghhh. I don't have "early dementia" I am newly diagnosed with AD and I live alone. Phew, but glad I finally realized it and I'm starting this new discussion. I hope there are some Peeps out there who are still "young" in their diagnosis. Here's what I posted…
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Explosive Diarrhea - Oh My!
Hello All - Just commiserating here with fellow spousal caregivers who've battled the awful specter of explosive diarrhea with you LOs. Just finished up my latest battle tonight and have to report it wasn't too bad. Last time was over a year ago and I was an awful mess, and I was mad, cussing and really didn't handle it…
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Behavioral issues and memory care
Hi! I’d love some advice on the following situation. I live 3 states away from my dad who’s been in assisted living for about a year. My sister is close by and manages most of the situation. Recently my dad started acting out and telling delusional stories. After he walked out of the facility through an emergency door…
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Pros and cons of home care vs memory care--and misperceptions? For educational purposes
This came up on another thread so I thought I'd start it off. I was struck by comments that a PWD had to be nonambulatory or completely unable to perform any ADL's before they were appropriate for MC, neither of which is the case. As someone who had to place my partner under some duress and for whom the adjustment has been…
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Security and Door Locks
My DH doesn't wander yet, but sometimes I'll notice he is outside in the yard and I'm getting increasing uncomfortable with the idea that wandering might be next. So - I'm looking for advice on how to lock my doors so that I can know when he walks out! I have steel frame doors, and a lot of the locks I see online won't…
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I'm just starting the journey and need advice
After three months in a SNF for various orthopedic problems, my husband's dementia "flared" which caught me by surprise as I hadn't really understood that his "memory" medications were for dementia. (it's a long story). Anyway...in January he had delusions where I was accused of conspiring with his doctor to keep him…
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@Eaglemon and other experienced members
Please respond to Aayusi on the Living with Alzheimer's board. She has a complicated history with major depression, cutting and suicidal ideation. I have flagged her posts twice. Her thread is "Don't want to lose the memories". Iris
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This Group is my Lifeline - Thanks!
I continue to go to this site numerous times a day - the empathy and experience of the participants here is the best support I have found. I am in a place now where a lot of you have found yourself in - I'm alone in this horrible ambiguous grief cycle called Alzheimer's. Bill posted "The Calvary is not Coming" and I read…
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Important (and classic) free book: Understanding the Dementia Experience
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Sadness for my MIL
It’s been an emotionally tough day. Nothing out of the ordinary but it’s been close to two years MIL has lived with us. And I was particularly tired of not having any time alone; cooking, cleaning, entertaining and listening to her talk, talk, talk. But as I was sitting here mentally listing the 101 things I have to do…
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I bought a house. I wish I could feel happy and excited about it.
But I don't. I'm spending our life savings in the Medicaid spend down. It's a nice house and in a nice neighborhood. All my memories are here in this house though. And I miss my husband so much! He has been in memory care for two months and I still feel like I am dying from grief. It hit me today that I am going to have to…
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Question for the younger caregivers
I’m 51 caring for 80 year old spouse. This is a question for people like me who have given up work to be full time care givers. How do you plan for your future? What steps have you taken to stay active and engaged mentally, physically, creatively, socially, and career-wise? What are your plans for returning to paid work…
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Update - haven't posted in awhile. Been overwhelmed.
To recap: December 5th, I had to immediately place my DH in MCF because of my devastating diagnosis of a rare aggressive form of breast cancer that I needed immediate and aggressive treatment for. I placed him in a facility and he got great care but it was very expensive. I applied for the VA Nursing Home facility and he…
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Good article - Tips on preventing aspiration
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Conversations
Hello community! I’m needing help. So a little background, my mom is a retired nurse and I’m about to finish nursing school. During my clinicals I see some insane stuff and part of my nurse dreams included swapping stories with my mom. Sometimes the things I see are emotionally heavy as well. My mom has recently progressed…
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Trying to convince a parent to move closer to her children
I have experience with a parent who denies that her memory problems are serious enough for her to need care. My siblings and I are trying to be as patient and supportive as we can; our mom lives with a friend who is aging, and her friend wants her to move out. However, she won't tell my mom that, and mom really doesn't…
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End Stage Alzheimers disease
Im new to this forum and am hoping to get some advice on how to proceed with my mother's care. She is currently in a MC unit near my home using a hoyer lift. She's totally bedridden and has pressure sores on her back. The Dr's are giving her pain meds but I think it's time for hospice care. She can no longer speak…
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What do I say?
Friends and family know what is going on with my DW, and have been very helpful and supportive. Periodically one of these dear people will say, “How is she doing?”. It’s hard for me to say “a little worse every day, it seems” even if that’s the truth. I would like a better answer, but haven’t come up with one. Any ideas?
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Slowly loosing my mother
It has been really hard to admit to myself that I am slowly loosing my mother gradually to this disease. I saw the signs in the beginning stages but didn't want to admit to myself that it was anything but as time has gone on it is becoming quite clear that I am slowly loosing her. Over the past two years I have had to take…