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Bathing/changing clothes
Mom won't take showers or change her clothes unless I get very forceful. Her care givers don't push her and i worry she will get infections. I live 4 hours away and have been able tk keep mom at home with 3 sets of caregivers coming over every day
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Need to Move Mom from AL to MC
I moved Mom into AL in January after MUCH convincing and lies that it would only be for a few weeks. She went downhill when she arrived, had behavioral issues and was placed on an involuntary psych hold due to comments and behaviors she was exhibiting. Her medications were adjusted and she is now settling in, but due to…
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Alternative to MC--apartment with live-in hired caregivers--good idea?
My friend is seriously considering moving his girlfriend (PWD, 59 years old, early stage 6) into an apartment, where she will live with professional caregivers (in shifts) provided for through a state program. The application is in process. She may qualify for as much as 24/7 caregiver coverage, but if less than that, they…
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LO with ALZ
Thirteen years or so ago my Mom started to get angry. She and I worked together; she was the boss and I was one of the employees. My Mom wanted things done a certain way and she also started to exhibit memory issues. Then suddenly one month she got hit by a nasty illness that resulted in her being put in a medically…
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POA
Hello, I just joined and this is my first post. It's a question that I need answered soon. My husband has had dementia for almost 10 years now. Two years ago I knew I needed to get a POA so we updated our will. Last year he was barely able to sign our tax return. This year he definitely won't be able to but I'm not sure…
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Apathy or depression
I am new to the forum and would like some help in understanding dementia related symptoms. I moved my 90 year old mother from an independent living facility in PA to an assisted living facility in Maine (where I live) in January 2020 when her dementia seemed to worsen suddenly. I did not realize the extent of her dementia…
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Eating(3)
My LO won’t eat sometimes. The hospice nurse says that if she’s not eating she’s not hungry. I’m having a hard time figuring out how much to gently push/entice /distract and feed. How do we determine how hard to try to get her to eat?
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How do you keep in touch with friends and family?
My dad moved to memory care about a month ago. He moved states, about a 5 hour drive, to be in a facility closer to me. At first I had hoped the MC staff would be able to help my dad talk on the phone or zoom with friends/family, but I don’t really think that’s something they do. My dad doesn’t have his phone because he…
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Memory Care Brain Exercises
My Spouse was recently diagnosed with mild Alzheimer's in South America. We are currently in the process of relocating back to the USA working with an agent. I chose San Antonio TX because it has 1 of the 33 research centers among other reasons. Is there a site on the internet where I can find approved or suggested memory…
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Worried
My mom who is 68 has shown drastic changes. She was showing odd symptoms even before she retired. She told me she probably shouldn't have been working at times because she was so discombobulated. She has trouble with memory, sleep, depression, anger. Not diagnosed. She refuses to take hardly any medication, even for pain.…
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The Results are in
The MRI shows deteriation of the brain in the area of memory suggestive Alzheimers. The testing rules out tumor, and stroke. He has prescribed a pill that is to be started as soon as the Rx is received. It is to be taken daily in the evening. He stated there were two other tests that could be done, 1) the spinal tap to…
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New paranoia- Passenger Seat
It was around a year ago when I first saw my mother have a severe panic attack riding in the passenger seat. I had no idea why she was so upset, she couldn't look at the road, and eventually started crying. I try to comfort her from the back seat. The person driving wasn't speeding and it was not heavy traffic yet she kept…
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Denial(4)
When will the denial end? My DH won’t see a doctor, wear hearing aids, or admit he has any problems at all.
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Thanks for the advice
I got an appointment for a lawyer on 18 April to get everything in order. It’ll be relief to have at least one part of it done. There’s still so much to learn about what’s going to happen in the future. Other than some forgetfulness and not being able to drive, my husband is still pretty good shape. He will have an…
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Memantine and Aricept
DH has been on Aricept about ten months now. In my experience there is no way to discern if it helps. But it seems he tolerates it well and he believes it helps. I would like to hear from those with experiences of Aricept used along with Memantine. It seems the combination is prescribed when LO is in mild to moderate…
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SSDI Rep Payee Accounting
Hello! When your LO is in a memory care assisted living unit, how have you allocated the expenses in your annual report? Did you enter the whole amount in food and housing? Or did you allocate some toward Other Expenses. Some of the fee they charge is a "care level" which wouldn't exactly be food and housing? Also, how did…
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I am two people to my mom/MC or AL
I am new here-My mom was diagnosed with mixed dementia. She knows all of her kids names but for some reason she gets me confused and sees me as another child. She will talk to me about me, not realizing it is me. I have tried to play along and tried to delicately share I am the same person but she just not understand or…
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Feeling Very Alone
Hi everybody! I hope everyone is having a good day/night. I am 24 and the main care taker for my mom who is 59, she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's back in 2022. The first year since her diagnoses had been pretty uneventful, no huge changes besides getting her disability approved. She had already stopped driving and working…
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Catastrophic Reaction to pain
My mother, 83 , Mixed Dementia (Vascular & Alzheimers) mid to late stage, lives with me and has been Physically able to transfer and walk with a walker us to this point. However, she had a fall last week, and even though she didn't fracture her hip or pelvic area, she is reacting to the pain in such a severe and dramatic…
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To those whose Easter celebration looks different this year
Hello everyone. Happy Easter. This will be my first Easter without my mother who passed at the beginning of the year. My heart goes out to all of you who are celebrating a bit differently this year. May you rest assured that Jesus did triumph over the grave and may you have that peace that surpasses all understanding as…
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Loved One Not Wanting to Go to A Home
Hi everyone. I'm new here and happy to join this community. I have an 88 year old grandmother who is approaching late stage Alzheimer's but needs to go to a care facility and doesn't want to. I have mentioned it once every 1-2 weeks for the last month but she gets emotional and upset and says she's not going. I also have a…
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Resisting Move to Assisted Living
Dad has Alzheimers and Mom is wheelchair bound. They currently have 8x5 home care. It's becoming harder Dad to care for Mom when home care is not there. However, Dad doesn't realize this and thinks he's doing a "good job" taking care of her. Gets very defensive. Took them on tours of AL yesterday. Mom is willing to move,…
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Widows social security question
Mom was switched from her social security benefits to my step-dads upon his death. Although they initially got it messed up, it got straightened out. However I’m trying to figure out one discrepancy. I thought she would receive exactly what he was getting. The gross figure she was told she’d get ( in writing) is about $54…
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Venting (again)
DH has been in a mood all day!! Started when I asked him to wash the knife he left on the counter. Sure he said, came in and put it in the sink! Can you just please wash it? Off the wall yelling he’s always wrong. Trying to calm him down didn’t help. Decided to leave for a bit ( he’s ok alone so far). Came home and no…
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Just sad & mad (long - sorry)
I stopped in to see my mom at her MC on my way to Easter services this morning. She was dressed nicely (thanks to thoughtful facility staff), and I casually asked if she might be interested in going with my family to church. She perked up and said, "yes, I was hoping to do that." This was the most lively reaction I have…
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Competency
Is there some kind of form or letter I can ask my lo’s doctor to fill out regarding competency? I am the DPOA and my brother wants mom to continue to make decisions she is not capable of making. I can’t do things unless I cream it with mom first. I think maybe something like this might help my brother see reason and avoid…
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Eating.. or not
Hi, My dad is 95. His appetite is becoming less and less. My problem is that his aide is determined for him to eat even when he says he doesn't want to. I was not a good eater when I was little, so as an adult I have a difficult time making him eat when he doesn't want to. I have told her repeatedly not to make him eat if…
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Eating- moderate stage AD
Hello- I’m looking for some feedback on an issue. My mother is 94 and has moderate AD. She’s in Memory Care in Assisted Living. She’s lost almost 30 pounds since being moved there in October. My concern is that the staff only ask her if she wants something to eat but don’t present her with food. She will always says no.…
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SO MUCH FIGHTING!
We toured a lovely MC facility today. My mom cried about the room but quickly befriended all of the lovely ladies there and was very happy. We're going to see if taking donepezil again helps her manage in her current living situation and if not she is moving to MC. All my husband and I do is fight because he's sick of it…
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Question for the younger caregivers
I’m 51 caring for 80 year old spouse. This is a question for people like me who have given up work to be full time care givers. How do you plan for your future? What steps have you taken to stay active and engaged mentally, physically, creatively, socially, and career-wise? What are your plans for returning to paid work…