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Not the best Christmas ever
It's been awhile since I've had a Christmas as stressful as this one. My uncle passed away on the 23rd. We're all sad about his death, but we've been expecting it too. He had been failing for the last several months, and finally it was just too much for him. I texted my brother to get him to not tell Peggy about Uncle N.…
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How to answer
I'm in need of advice on how to answer my 91-year-old mother about why I feel she needs to stay in AL. I realize the answer may not be the same for every situation. My mother had a psychosis episode believing the people on TV could see her. This was in late October. She has been in AL since early November. Of course, she…
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Feel like throwing the towel in
I’m the crying DIL I have a pretty long story. I have prayed, cried, cursed, closed myself up in my room most days and still back at square one. In 2019 my MIL retired and my husband is an only child. She is 81 years old. She was diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2021.She has always been very quiet. (This is how it was…
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Not Eating - But Not End of Life
Hi all, We've noticed recently mom is barely touching her food. Even with prompting she's started leaving most of her food on her plate at each meal. She's solidly at the end of stage 6 and I've wondered if we aren't in stage 7. It's sometimes hard to tell because her language skills are always more advanced than they…
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Sundowning and Seroquel
Many of you know about this hour that takes place that turns everything upside down. For my mom, everything is manageable (her behavior) until 4pm comes around. A kind member here had told me of a drug specifically made for this behavior called Seroquel. Why her doctors had never mentioned this to me...I don't know. But I…
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I'm hoping for some advice
I just got off the phone with my mom. While she has been very good at making sure that he gets to the bathroom when he has to urinate, at night, and occasionally when she is in the bathroom herself, he will pull down his diaper and pee wherever he happens to be. In the corner of the bedroom, outside an occupied restroom at…
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guilt over AL placement
In late October, my 91-year-old mother who has lived alone since my Dad died in February, had a delusion or hallucination that was very distressing to her, and it was a shock to me that she had a complete break with reality. She had asked me if it were possible people on TV could see her. I told her no, and that because…
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Hospice? Is it time?
Hi all. In need of advice. My Mom is 87 years old. She has had dementia for about 6 years. In October, my Dad had a UTI and was admitted to the hospital. I think he may have had another stroke while he was there. He was sent to hospice and passed away on November 2, 2022. My Mom stayed with us for about a week, that is…
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Aide Recording FIL
Hi, My FIL, 92, has a live in. She lives in with him. She is okay when she is there, but never comes back on time after she is off. This creates some problems, to say the least. But the bigger issue, I think (I am only the DIL), is that she is recording him on her cell phone. She send my husband a video of him coming down…
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Update(8)
We finally have a temp guardian of person and the estate. The judge ordered Dad to go to doctor to determine his competency once and for all. On the 3rd reschedule, doctor was supposed to be heading to the house. Guardian Ad lidem expecting to file contempt of court charges. Stepmother wants guardian of estate to pay her…
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Losing Patience
Hello, Just joined this forum today and feel like I need to write something. Like so many others, I kind of need to gripe. I don't think I have one specific question. My mother turned 80 in May 2022. In March of 2020, her long-time partner passed away and she has never been the same. Prior to him dying, my younger sister…
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Stress and weight loss
Hi all, I hope you're doing as well as you can be. I am not, I don't think. I've been so stressed out over the past two month, on and off. My dad's health scare did not help and the increasing words of transphobia from both my dad and my bosses isn't helping things either. Thankfully their hate isn't directed at me but…
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Update on Stage 8.
I have sat at my lap top several times in the past 2 months to reach out to you all and had to stop before I actually started a post because my dad demanded my attention/help right then and there. It happened yesterday AGAIN. I turned off my phone today, hopefully I can complete a post that makes some kind of sense. I am…
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Bad breath
My wife’s breath keeps getting worse and worse. Tooth brushing is out and I’m afraid to give her hard mints. I’m open to suggestions.
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Any experiences with Geo Fencing Devices
Hello All and thank you for sharing your experiences. My MIL is in an assisted living facility and is not yet in a MC unit. The facility has been excellent for her daily care and we don't want to lose it. The administration has let us know that if my MIL continues to wander off the premises that they will have to move her.…
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7 months on Christmas Eve
I have been here in my mother's home 7 months straight as of Christmas Eve. I was getting out for a few hours a few days a week this past summer & fall until the big blow up on Halloween. I had planned to go away for 3days/2 nights the first week of November. My sister, who is retired, was supposed to cover for me backed…
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advice needed transitioning LO to MC/AL
Someone told me that one day I would know it's time. That I would know it was time for me to make the decision to move my mother, from caring for her myself, at my home, to an assisted living facility that can provide the memory care and safety that she needs. She has mid stage dementia and progressive aphasia. Well, it's…
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Help me understand
I've heard here quite often about the Power of Attorney and a Senior Law Lawyer, but I can't quite make the connection. I know the POA is basically so a caregiver can basically make every decision for the one he/she is caring for because that person can't make those decisions for themselves anymore. And I figure the Senior…
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Do you ever get used to waiting it out? (mostly a vent)
So, it's Christmas (Merry Christmas everyone), and of course just the mention of it to my Mom (moderate ALZ, stage 6 probably, still manages many of her ADLs) has turned things sour (Where are we going? Where is that? What time? Who's that? Who are you? What about my [dead] parents? What am I bringing? etc. On loop of…
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Just need encouragement
I am placing dad in AL Tuesday. My emotions are all over the place. He is sad he is going. At one point this week he told me he is not going. A couple of days ago I lost it and I must have caught him in a moment of reason and he understood that he can’t be left alone and that I am here all of the time away from my home and…
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So, Doctor says Palliative Care
This year has been tough for my mother, 83, with later stage ALZ. Until September she lived in AL, then moved to MC. The move to MC was anticipated but determined necessary by late summer. Mom has had several falls and trips to the ER, resulting in black eyes, stitches in forehead and the latest a small brain bleed when…
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Diabetes and Alzheimer's
I have been a care taker for my mom for over a year now, she is a diabetic and was diagnosed with Alzheimer's around 5-8 years ago and recently she has been getting very "sassy" about wanting sweets all the time. I want to be able to give her whatever she wants to eat but her numbers jump so high that I have to limit the…
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Christmas Day Worries
So my dad as of recent has been VERY choosy what he eats and often doesn't eat his meals (we don't have a large kitchen space) but I do prepare dinner almost every night. He normally acts as if he can't walk but tonight he made his way into the kitchen without a walker and then as I asked him what he was doing he said he…
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OT M1
Art supplies...I use dickblick.com. You could send little "treats". They might have a small storage cabinet she could call her own...
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Dinner is a nightmare
Last few weeks Dad has been challenging at meals. We keep reminding him to take a bite and swallow before taking another. He says ok and literally takes another bite while still chewing and staring at me while doing so. We've tried hard not to get upset but it is not keeping him sason was fe if he chokes. Then he says…
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A disconcerting day
DH has been in memory care since mid August. Thankfully it is in the bldg a 3 min walk from our independent living apartment. He has fallen a few times and today I got the call that he was slumped over in the dining room at breakfast and was non responsive. I have a DNR in place but I allowed them to take him across the…
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'Our Body is thy temple' 'is now airing
Exciting news. Our new series 'Our Body is thy temple' 'is now airing on Glewed.TV. We have been shooting this series around the country over the last year and we take a deep dive into the disparities in the black community and their health and the role the black church can play. We feature such conditions as diabetes,…
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Is ER trip necessary to enter Geri-psych unit?
Today we were told that my dad’s agitated and verbally abusive behavior at the MC he’s been in for seven weeks is beyond the care the facility can provide and they recommend we admit him to a geriatric-psychiatric unit where staff there can figure out meds that will manage his behaviors. In reading on this forum about…
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how to answer questions(2)
I am supporting my 80 yr old mom, who lives alone. She was diagnosed in Sept of this year with Alz dementia. I am struggling with issues of how to interact with her. I know that I should not correct her if whatever she says is wrong and doesn't matter. Today, however, I was there and she was upset because the trash man…
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Good afternoon fellow warriors
Hi. Wow… Mom passed last night. I’m still reeling of course…but overall, I’m so completely thankful for the time that we’ve had bonded together these last years and this last week. Words can’t express my gratitude to her. She actually took very good care of me, I’m in awe. I know Ill be ok even when Ive thought “how can I…