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DH in NH pinched another resident km
DH has been in NH for 2 months. He has been wandering into other people's rooms. Last night got a call that he had pinched a woman and caused bruising. Needless to say the female resident was yelling and extremly upset. I feel terrible he did that to her and today he's having a psych evaluation in house. Anyone ever go…
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Waiting for the ER
DH had a complete mental breakdown at his rehab center today, where he was recovering from a fractured tibia. He has been declining for a week now, and I’ve been begging and pleading for help from them which was not forthcoming. They finally decided tonight to send him to the hospital with a diagnosis of “altered mental…
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Question about adult daycare
I went to my support group today. At least three people there sounded like their loved ones could benefit from adult daycare, but they all said that their people were still too early in the disease and too aware to be willing to go without a fight. How might they approach the subject to make their loved ones more amenable…
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Seroquel use in Alzheimer’s patients
DH is very agitated and having hallucinations. Doc prescribed Seroquel. Researching Mayo Clinic said it should not be used for Alzheimer’s patients. I am confused as it is often recommended. Thanks ! !
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Wondering if I need a CELA?
Hoping you all can enlighten me, i need to redo my will and am trying to find an attorney that does estate planning, wills. What can a CELA offer that an estate planning attorney can not? My DH is at home with me, stage 6. Hoping to keep him at home but I’m also investigating MC homes just in case at some point I can not…
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Brussel Sprouts
I have been looking forward and craving brussel sprouts for a few days. It's hard for me to cook in the kitchen as my bf (45yo EOA) likes to be in there with me. I try to ask him to be out of the kitchen while I'm cooking as I don't want him to get hurt. Well, I cut up some baked chicken from Costco and was seasoning my…
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Change in voice
My DH is late stage 6, early 7 and under Hospice care. His vocabulary is mostly word salad but the last week or so his voice is different, sounds like when he has a bad cold, little deeper and a little raspy. Anyone else experienced difference in their voice??
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What to Look For at MC Facilities
While I'm hoping to not need it soon, I want to get "my ducks in a row." I'll be touring a number of MC facilities within the next couple of weeks. Other than the usual (patient to staff ratios, Med staff, etc.) What red flags should I be looking for? Any questions you wished you asked? Any help or guidance is greatly…
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Anxiety attacks
I have an appointment for my bf (45yo EOA) this Wednesday with his pcp to discuss hospice admittance. Hospice is the quick route to get him into MC. I am having anxiety and hate taking my meds. I know this is the best step for him but when I think of him being there and him feeling alone or remembering me and I'm not…
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Feeling So Sad 11
Please don’t laugh 🤣 I sat on my phone and cut off my sadness post. Maybe that was a good thing it was enough to break my melancholy. I feel better but it happens quite a bit. My DH often asks who am I? Where do I sleep? Do I have a brother? etc mostly I just happily move on but it got to me today and I felt so very sad.…
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Ten Years
it’s been 10 years since DW’s diagnosis. I used to be active on this site. At times it was a lifesaver. At times I received and gave good testimonies and advice. I may be shallow, but I stopped participating because I couldn’t tolerate those who dominated the discussion boards to proselytize and/or talk to their friends.…
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The struggle with acceptance and clarity about dementia's effects on our lives
What do you think it's about - what makes it feel hard even while in the early phases of dementia when your spouse/partner can still take care of their ADLs and still communicate somewhat? I need help finding words to describe or explain - what is this nebulous sense of enormous change in our lives? It feels seismic even…
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How Long
I'm sitting in the neuropsychologist office, having sat through the first set of questions to my DW for what I imagine will be her last evaluation to get a diagnosis. Like I need one -- she couldn't tell the Dr. what month or day it is, she can't drive or work her phone, and her speech is more halting and her ability to…
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A diagnosis that isn't a diagnosis
After all the tests, including a (failed) memory test, full cardiac workup, and MRI, my husband's diagnosis is "Mild Cognitive Impairment with Amnesia". No stage given, no real information about what that means, or any ideas on progression. I was told to keep an eye on things, encourage him to do brain teasers, and follow…
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Recent bedtime problem
We typically have gone to bed sometime between 10 and 11 every night. For a while now he falls asleep most days while we’re watching tv around 9:00-9:30. I try to keep him up a while longer or try to get him to go to bed and he refuses because it’s too early. Now when I wake him later to go to bed, we come to the bedroom…
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I just want to thank all my caring supportive friends
It's so odd that this online community of caring souls is brought together to give one another encouragement and support eventhough we are all going through hell. My friends and family try to understand but only you folks here truly get it. Some days we can be so strong and others we are barely hanging on. I lurked for…
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Gentle, caring DH has become combative - now what?
My sweet DH, 77 yrs old, diagnosed with dementia 14 yrs ago moved to MC in July. Staff loves him due to his gentle demeanor and concern for others. However, he has become more combative when approached for showers, changing clothes and when redirected from doing something that could hurt him or others. Today he hit two…
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Altered taste, hearing and smell
DH is in the early stages and is constantly complaining about things smelling “different” or all his food tastes like crap. He is also complaining of not being able to hear very well. We have had a hearing exam with an audiologist, an ENT, and our primary. They don’t see anything. Is this part of the process? Have any of…
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Dreaming of the future
We spend so much time caring for our demented spouses. Our lives are turned upside down and inside out, being dragged down the rabbit hole with our spouses to "dementia land". Our days look so very different with more work than we can accomplish and little time for ourselves and our needs. My husband is sleeping more these…
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Selling A House
Somehow, my DW and I both manage to own a house here in CA. I have been managing the one that’s a rental, minimally, for the last 3 years or so. Part of the drop in paying closer attention to it is we moved and it’s now 5 hours away. I want to sell to my DWs stepdaughter and husband. It will give us cash for when she needs…
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DH put on in home hospice care
The long road is heading towards the end. I am trying to stay strong, but with each passing day, the road becomes more treacherous. Last night DH fell after getting out of bed in the dark. In the process, he lost control of his bowels, in his Depends. Hospice said to call 911 for a non emergency lift assist. This is the…
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Experience with Buspirone
DH is only on memantine right now, and I’m still on the fence about adding more meds, thinking that I should be able to adjust my behavior or triggers first. I mentioned anxiety at his last appt with PCP and they suggested buspirone as a med that is “on demand” rather than something that needs to be built up in the system.…
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Stage 6 - Memory Care?
My husband is stage 6. He dropped 7 points on his MMSE in one year. I’m seriously considering memory care. I’m concerned about finances. It says stage 6 averages 2.5 years. How long have yr LO’s stayed in stage 6? Do all become incontinent or can they skip that? DH doesn’t sit down all day, he has to be doing ‘something’.…
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THE INSOMNIA AT STAGE 7
Hello to all, I am very sleep deprived at the moment, but wanted to post, Please excuse any bloopers. DH is having very restless nights. He has been on Seraquel 25 mg which has helped with mood , but not with sleep. So we are on a trial and error path for sleep med. The first one, Zyprexa was useless, Now switched to…
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Hiw many spouses sleep in another room?
My DH gets extremely anxious and agitated, sundowning is in full effect at our house. My husband is up and down all night long. Good nights 15x, many nights 25+. I can't take care of him if I'm not getting any sleep. Dr tried respiridine and trazadine but they decreased his BP to critical levels, 70/50. Off those meds, BP…
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The realities of paying for M/C
I'm wanting to hear from those of you who have been down this road and are ahead of me on this journey. We are still maintaining at home for now. I would like to keep him home as long as he isn't violent or wandering but I a realist and know I need to have a back up plan. We aren't rich but both have pensions and SS. The…
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Looking for MC
It has been 11 days since my DH was admitted to the hospital. After 3 days, he was admitted to a Geriatric Psychiatric unit an hour away from our house. I go every day to see him and he wants to go home . He has no memory of his violence, but I am afraid to have him home. I have been looking for a decent available spot for…
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Needing support from my online "friends" who walk a similar journey.
I'm strong most of the time but feeling very vulnerable tonight. MCI diagnosis after neuro/psych testing many yrs ago. 2 strokes and 2 vascular surgeries later dr says likely VD. DH refuses further testing or medical evaluation. He's done. Don't blame him, its been a lot of tests that ruled out lots of things. He wants no…
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Big Move today!
After touring several memory care facilities, I found one that really seemed perfect. I am waiting now to hear that the transport is on the way! I moved his furniture into his room, yesterday, with the help of my son and sister in law. It looks cozy and homey, Now, to help him ease in without too much drama! It has been…
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Trigger warnings
Hi all, yesterday my LO with stage 4-5 received a late payment bill and spent 3 hours going through his papers and swearing he paid the bill even when there had been no check written or recorded. I have taken over ALL the bills except that one😝it was 3 hours of cussing, going back and forth to the mailbox. Finally at 10 PM…