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Wow, I underestimated the loneliness
My husband went to memory care this week. It's going fine. He's settling in fairly well. I feel like a jerk for even saying this. I'm lost and lonely. I've never lived alone before (family, college, roommates, then my husband). I'm trying to keep busy. Dishes are done. Laundry is caught up (for the first time in 2 years).…
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Time change
My husband is so confused and upset about the time change today. He just doesn’t understand when I explain it to him. He thinks something is going on that is bad, something is doing this to him. I thought things were going better the last 2-3 days, now this. Guess that’s the way it is. Will I ever get used to this?
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My DH has lost his dentures
We are in our second year since diagnosis (probably 4 years since onset), and are somewhere in the fifth-sixth stage of ALZ. He has stopped wanting to take his denture out when we go to bed, so we have been cleaning it in the morning. Sometime last night he took it out and has misplaced it. I have looked everywhere for it,…
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Interesting (and untimely) legal lesson about cremation: should I have just lied and told them we w
I hope this might be helpful to someone else, for me it's been a huge headache and unnecessary firedrill on an already fraught Friday afternoon. And importantly, something that neither my memory care contacts nor the hospice social workers were aware of. And that the cremation company didn't catch until this afternoon,…
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Loves to talk to anyone who comes to the door
My DH has a routine list of things he talks about to anyone who will listen - I call it his yard tour. He starts with showing them the driveway, followed by every tree and plant in the front and back of the house. Some of it makes no sense, but most people will listen patiently, at some point probably realizing he has…
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Final chapter
My DH passed last night. I had seen him in the afternoon, and hope he heard me tell him how much I loved him. I am glad his suffering is done. It all happened so quickly after his last ER stay a couple weeks ago, that it’s hard for me to process. But he never rebounded from that awful experience and simply stopped eating…
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Everything is perfectly normal...maybe not
Just feel the need to "talk". DH in ES to MS Alz. He has seemed perfectly normal now for about two weeks. You'd have to live with him and pay attention to know anything was off. Well, there is the thing about needing to explain to him who is who and what that all means when we are watching TV and the thing about misnaming…
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DH seems fine with everyone but me
My DH is starting his 10th year since Alz diagnosis. He exercised daily and ate healthy during the last 10 years and did exceptionally well. But he is declining now. He worries constantly about where his SS ck is … is our furniture paid for? … where do I live (we’ve been married 31 yrs) …. He thinks we just moved into this…
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Glued to the tube
My wife of 39 years spends virtually all day every day watching TV. Mostly the news on a loop—and yet she asks me questions that make it clear that none of it’s sticking—ie. “who is running for president?”). It’s another beautiful fall day, but she has closed the blinds, is complaining of being cold (it’s not), and does…
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Visiting DH A Huge Success
As some of you may recall, I have only visited DH once since his placement 1-1/2 yrs ago given the very first visit was a huge disaster. With his neurologist telehealth appointment coming up in December, I figured I had better not make the telehealth appt day be my first "revisit." Moreover, I felt obligated to bring him…
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Adjusting to part time caregiver
I’ve been a full time caregiver for my husband for 5 years. He is in the moderate stage of Alzheimer’s and resists going to day programs. I hired an experienced part time caregiver to help me a few times a week. My husband doesn’t understand this new person in our home and was very irritated with me the second time I left…
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Here we go again
My LH loves woodworking. He is determined to work on a couple Christmas gifts. He has always been very independent with his projects and never needed assistance. Now I need to help him each step of the way taking my time and even then he can’t follow the directions and instructions or drawings or measurements that we…
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Support group
My 76 year old wife was diagnosed in September with moderate Alzheimer's just 10 months after an initial MCI diagnosis. Luckily I have lots of local family support. I've just registered for an in-person support group. What can I expect from the meeting?
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So happy to have found this group!
Hi, All, I just joined this group. I posted the following as a reply in another discussion and someone suggested I create a new discussion to introduce myself: My partner's neurologist just moved his diagnosis from Mild Cognitive Impairment to Alzheimer's. This has been reported by law to the DMV and he will be heading…
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second home
I haven't seen conversation about owning a second home, or vacation home, and I know there are others like me who have a dw or dh with alzheimer's and have thoughts about how to handle it. Ours is a vacation home in a popular tourist area that we bought knowing that dw has alzheimer's but did it for her enjoyment knowing…
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Is It Dementia or Aphasia
my husband has Frontotemporal Alzheimer’s Dementia and Primary Progressive Aphasia. It seems to me his symptoms are the PPA more than the dementia. Is that possible? How do I tell the difference?
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Don't argue, redirect
The above is the one of the best ideas I have learned on this site. DW and I got home from a visit with our son this evening, and she got to complaining about the state of her wardrobe. This is a chronic problem. All 30 pairs of her shoes are "worn out", etc. I bought her a couple of new sweaters earlier this week, but she…
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…of course she isn’t really there
You’ve heard of phantom limb syndrome, well I’m having phantom wife syndrome. A number of times a week I very briefly, just for a moment, experience a feeling that my DW is with me. She’s been in an MCF for over two years and the hospice nurse tells me they have just determined she is Stage 7f (on the Fisher scale), the…
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Tonight the sides close in
I struggle One footfall then the next Got to move forward as there is no choice Yes, I guess there is But that choice is not who I am But as I walk this path I will no longer be who I am When I was 14, Sister Mary Neri caught me reading Catch 22. She did not approve. So I read it twice and understood it as much as I was…
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Death of sibling
I thank you all for your responses. You certainly are a great group. Followup to my post. My sister-in -laws told my husband his brother had died. He was quiet and asked how. They told him his heart gave out. He said that's too bad. They also made arrangements for my husband to go early to say goodbye. It worked out well…
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CPAP machine
My husband has Alzheimer's and Vascular dementia. He uses a CPAP machine because he has severe sleep apnea. He is in a memory care facility and has now started hitting staff when they try and put the machine on him. The doctor's recommendation was to stop the using the machine because of his behavior. The facility was sent…
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Talking on the phone
My DW who has EOAD, has been talking on her phone to a lady that has a business selling clothing. Ally (the lady) streams her sales shows on Facebook. My DW is talking to her like she is on FaceTime. I’m hoping it’s ok that I just let her do this. Also she has bought so many items that I have locked her card. When she…
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BIGGEST FEAR, DW MC and what about the whole SEX in MC with others?
Help me navigate the negative thoughts I am feeling. Let me start by stating. I am feeling a tremendous amount of grief. The person in my wife’s very fragile frail body is not the woman I married. I must now consider placement In a memory care home, but I cannot shake this. I have been taking care of her 24/7 now for over…
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Short-term rehab wants DH out; Aetna Medicare Advantage could stop at any time?
My DH gets agitated and fell twice trying to get of the house - ended up in the hospital and the second time I said that I couldn't care for him at home. The hospital released him to rehab facility. Three days later, the rehab asked that he go somewhere else. I have been here from 10 am to 8 pm every day. He's told me that…
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New here and wondering what’s what .
Everything has looked like my wife has dementia but I don’t want to believe it . This mornings angry outbursts over nothing made me look on the internet for information and all the boxes got ticked . I know , I know - being a self styled internet doctor and making my own diagnosis is probably barking up the wrong tree but…
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Toilet Paper
I am used to my OH pulling out toilet paper ,neatly folding and then hiding it . Today was a first . She hid the toilet roll and holder . Looked in all her normal hiding places with no luck . When I went to put some laundry in her dresser , I found the toilet roll and holder neatly tucked in her night dress. Of course she…
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Feeling guilty
My DH husband and I have always been open with each other and he has been tested, but has not been officially diagnosed yet with dementia but all the signs are there. I feel guilty talking to our children about him behind his back, but I feel like they need to know what’s going on. They have seen some of the signs as well,…
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Does speech therapy
I asked about occupational therapy, I should perhaps have asked about speech therapy. DH with ALZ most noticable problem is lost words.
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Oh Hello Alzheimer's book
Just wondering if anyone has read the book by Lisa Marshall about her caregiver journey. I just finished it and have a lot of conflicting thoughts. I did not want to put the book down but then did not want to finish reading it because I knew how it would end. Even reading her experience, I looked for ways to deny that my…
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Update on how to talk to Doctor in advance of DH appointment...
Hello all. Just an update on my saga about alerting DH's doc to issues before DH's doctor appointment. My solution this time was to book an appointment for myself with the same doctor, scheduling DH for the appointment directly after mine. I am also a patient of the doc and booked my appointment for medication management -…