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Just need to talk to my friends (200)
Well, we made it to 200. Took a while. Still chilly here. Had to find some fleece to wear. Time to change out summer gowns and dresses for fleece and flannel. I don't change clothes in closet, just things in the chests. HB, hope your mother is doing much better. Mint, how is your mother? Haven't seen you mention it lately.…
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Man on the Inside
This post kind of off topic. We watched a 8 episode series on Netflix last night and today with Ted Danson called “Man on the Inside” which we enjoyed. It was about a retired professor who lost his wife to Alzheimer’s and when looking for a part time job to take his mind off his loneliness, ends up taking a job with an…
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Alone and missing friends. What to do?
My DH is Stage 6 and is very agitated and even aggressive to anyone new coming into the house. DH's friends have passed or no longer able to understand how to deal with him. I barely do myself. He's at home with me as sole caregiver and it is draining me. Heartbreaking is when the day passes and he realizes no one else is…
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wants to be massaged for hours
Anyone else experienced this? My DH wants me to massage his backs, hips, chest for hours on end. Sometimes it's the only thing that will calm him except listening to music. Is the any alternatives? Is it a phase?
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Burnout
Today I want to rant, I’m tired and exhausted, I really thought I had a handle on all this, I love communicating and writing on this site, it balances me and helps me to understand that I am not alone but today I feel so despondent for the last few days all I want to do is cry. I don’t want this any more 7 years is enough…
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What to do? DH paranoid/ fearful away from home but need to visit my dying father
My DH is Stage 6 and has been extremely agitated, anxious and verbally aggressive. He is stabilizing on Seroquel but still doesn't tolerate strangers or new places. I just found out that my father is in the hospital 5 hours north. He is only expected to live a few days. I have no aides or family able to care for him, the…
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my wife can't stop crying all day
My wife just cries all day long, the reasons change and I don't believe they are the reason. If it's stopped it will start back up when she is asked to do something. Any caregiver with this experience I'd be grateful to hear from
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How much information to share with DH?
My DH has been showing signs of cognitive decline for a while. We are beginning this journey to get a diagnosis, which (as you all are well aware) will include a lot of testing and doctor appointments. My husband has excellent coping skills, so it took a long time to convince his primary care doctor that there was an…
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Suggestions for Activities?
My DH was diagnosed about 3 months ago with EOAD, at age 57. His biggest symptom is aphasia/difficulty communicating, as well as loss of executive functioning. He does not have significant memory loss. He has no problem doing ADL, and can still go on walks solo, etc. Our issue is that the aphasia and loss of executive…
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Turned down for Medicaid
With the help of an Elderlaw Attorney, I filed for Medicaid for my DH on August 19th here in Missouri. It had taken me several months to gather all the necessary information and was such a relief to finally have it filed. Since then, I have been paying the MC the amount the attorney said I would owe each month. Then a…
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Food ideas
My SO 46yo with EOA was a good eater. To the point that after eating a big meal and hour later he would be snacking on something. He was also a BIG Mt. Dew drinker. In the last month or so he hasn't drank any soda and has lost a bit of weight. However he also doesn't eat much like he used to. I know that his appetite will…
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Adult Children
We have 2 beautiful adult children 43 and 40. My DH has VD combined with very bad APHASIA. Our daughter lives near us so she is very familiar with the mental and physical decline but our son lives 1500kl away and is so involved with his work and family, our 2 young grandchildren. He doesn't have a lot of spare time for…
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Not diagnosed
My DH has not been diagnosed but is showing many symptoms. He is in denial and blames all his problems on me. It’s been a struggle the past year. I feel like a parent instead of a wife. His mouth can get pretty bad. It’s getting hard and frustrating.
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Do I s*ck at caregiving?
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Thought we were going to lose her
She was unresponsive this morning when I arrived at the MC. She stayed that way so I alerted family and friends. Hospice nurse said she is beginning to transition but she snapped back this afternoon a little.
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Daycare
I’ll be visiting a day program on Wednesday for my DH with stage 6. I have no idea if I’ll like it or if it will work out. It’s a PACE program & it’s an hour away which is really the part that makes it feel stressful. I’m just realizing that if it were local I’d jump at it. (So writing this post is already helping!) My two…
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Early onset at age 60
Hello, my husband was recently diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer's at age 60. We live in the Erie, PA area. The support groups in the area don't seem to fit our demographic. Although we do enjoy the company of folks older than us, some of the challenges we are facing are a lot different than if we were in our later…
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Neurologists recommendation
Any recommendations for a neurologist in North Central Florida (Jacksonville, Tampa, Orlando, Gainesville, etc) who is particularly good?
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67 year old wife trance-like state
For hours at a time on most days it is easy to believe that she has nothing more than minor memory issues. But as if she has a split personality, she will become very distant and seems depressed and goes into a trance-like state. This can last 2 to 3 hours and then she comes out of the trance. This issue began around…
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delusions
I am wondering what peoples experiences have been with delusions. Do you think there is some bases in reality for where they come from or are they just random. In my case when my wife was younger her parents went through a very mess divorce because of an affair and my wife had an affair with an old boyfriend. Now she…
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How do I respond to her confusion?
What is the best way to handle when your early onset spouse is saying for the first time over and over again she doesn't know who I am? Brought out pictures but she doesn't remember me. I need advice on how to respond in this situation.
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Milestones
Today is my DH's and my 50th wedding anniversary. He's been in MC only a week. I visited him this morning and celebrated with a card and chocolate covered donuts. He still knows me most of the time and can say "I love you." I guess that is our celebration.
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Sleep, sleep, sleep.
Hi y"all, My DW is early/mid stage three, we have been married 56 years. She was diagnosed two and a half years ago, now in mid stage 3, by my assessment. She is very affectionate and appreciative of my efforts in caring for her needs. She is now sleeping at least 14 hours a day. Her mother was on a similar path when she…
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Alzheimer's Progression is not Linear...
So anticipating what might be needed or how to respond/care is so difficult. My husband has been diagnosed since 5/2023 with Alzheimer's which was certainly happening well before that. In all the research, and support groups, and meetings, and readings, and doctor's visits, and clinical trials, I've been navigating dizzily…
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Six Months Since Moving
It has been six months since we moved two states from our hometown of 72 years to be near our daughter. DH has ALZ. I am still profoundly homesick! I miss everything I left behind, my older brother, our friends, our doctors, our dentist, all our familiar places and routine. We are going back this week to visit my brother.…
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Memory care
These last few days may have been the saddest of my life. Our kids and I moved my DH to memory care on Tuesday. DH has been mostly calm but with anxiety and confusion in the mix. I am grateful he wasn't combative or accusatory towards me or the children. Now I am saddened and filled with a deep sense of loss I have never…
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Convincing Mom to Get Help
Hi everyone, We are having a very difficult time trying to convince my mom to get help or get caregiver. She’s been a very independent woman for a long time and given my father passed away a long time ago, she’s been alone for awhile so she’s had to take care of herself. But we are worried something bad is going to happen…
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Wanting to leave the house
hello. My dad has dementia and his symptoms have been progressing the past 3 months. He is waking up in the morning wanting to get dressed and leave the house to go to work even though he no longer works. My mother is the caregiver and lives with him and when she tries to stop him from leaving he gets very nasty and can be…
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Some good advice (cross posted)
This is my caregiver education for the month of November as an adult foster care provider for my loved one. I thought it was good advice that we can all use.Communication and Interpersonal SkillsThe caregiver/member relationship can often be tenuous and difficult. Home care is a stressful setting that typically involves…
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Any luck with caregivers?
My DH is in early stage 6. I’ve tried 4 caregivers. Every time he starts off positive with their visits and by the 4th or 5th time he’s agitated that they are there. Follows me everywhere to get away from them. Granted not one of them has done what I expected to bond with him. They start off very conversational etc and…