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I need a safe space for me
please allow me to vent… I am so tired. My head constantly aches. I don’t sleep well. My DH has AZ and, I am beginning to think, another form of dementia as well. We see doc in two weeks to discuss. He is all over the place some days. Some days hallucinating. Some days body temp out of control. Then he sits down and reads…
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Near the end
We are down to the last hours. I am lying in bed with DH, music in the background, window open to sun and breeze. I am so terribly sad while being so grateful that he will be free. my heart is breaking.
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Dentist trip
I’m taking my DW to the dentist next week for the first time since she was diagnosed 2 years ago. She is currently in stages5/6. Has anyone had any problems with their LO at the dentist? Trying to prepare myself before I take her.
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Screams At Night
My DW has now had a few loud screaming events at night. She doesn’t remember if she has had a nightmare, but thinks she has. None of her meds list this as a side effect. Is this another of the joyous things that can come with dementia? Anyone else here experience this and found any solution?
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Taboo subject of divorce
Ater reading others post and knowing my own situation I am just wondering if anyone has considered divorce. I hear and believe it is the disease but also think that no one should be treated the way some are. If we are only staying out of obligation are we doing the right thing. In my situation after giving my wife a last…
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How to get rid of urine smell
My DH's MC room constantly has a urine odor. He changes his wet pants as needed and the aides put them in the open hamper in the bathroom. Laundry gets done once a week and by then the odor is so strong and permeates the room. I just brought home his laundry because I want the room to smell clean for visitors for Father's…
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What is "Quality of Life?"
Definition of Quality: "The standard of something as measured against other things of similar kind." Long story short- My wife was diagnose in 2019 with AZ. At this time she was still lucid and could understand the road that laid before her and me. At the time I asked her, "what are your wishes? What do you want me to do…
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Executive functions
my DW has lost a lot of her executive functions. It is my care responsibilities to take care of all decisions. She sometimes demands to know what is going on and i try to explain even though she won’t remember. I use DARE everyday as much as i can and also redirect, but it is a struggle. DARE is Do not ARGUE,REACT or…
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Wandering
Why do they wander. I just can’t figure this out. My DW wandered for the first time about 5 months ago. With the help from local PD, we got her back home safely. Fast forward to this month. No wandering until last week when she left house (while I was showering) and walked about 2 miles until PD found her. Had to be talked…
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Mild Cognitive Impairment
This is my first post. In July 2023 I noted to family that my 81 year-old DW was having significant memory problems. In January 2024 she was diagnosed with Mild Cognitive Impairment (MCI). I am particularly interested in others who have a LO diagnosed with MCI and for how many years or did it eventually progress to a more…
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DH home from respite care
Dh is to return home today from a 10 day respite stay at a great place . I am having conflicting feelings and thoughts. I am at some level looking forward to having him at home again and then I wish he could just stay at this memory care place. It is a great place. He participating in all the activities they have and seems…
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100 days and news
After the discussion yesterday about having my DH home for 100 days, today's news is…not ironic, but maybe serendipitous? The hospice nurse visited today and says DH has one to two weeks left based on all the new behavior. I am all over the board. I'm horribly sad, stunned at the end being so near, grateful that he does…
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Rexulti
Has anyone experienced an increase in blood sugar while taking Rexulti ? It is one of the warnings and DW has had increasing readings since she started Rexulti. No other change in meds or diet.
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I'm Hitting My Limit
I am so lost right now and really need to vent. I don't know that I can take the complaints, shadowing and delusions anymore. Perhaps it's because I keep hoping for something back, even though I know my DW can't offer anything back. I feel like a complete failure in this caregiving and wonder what kind of person I am that…
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Stuck in the middle
My wife has been in MC for a little over a year. Our marriage was not great for the last 23 years but we are still married for 50 years this August. I still feel a commitment to her. How do I move on and have a life while still anchored to the past? I go see her almost every afternoon and some of the staff has become…
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100 days
My DH has been home from Memory Care for 100 days. Early on it was very good. We took walks, snuggled at night, watched TV and sat on the deck watching birds. It has progressed to where he no longer knows me or home, wanders the house talking to people he hallucinates, demands to 'go home' and wants to see his mother. My…
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Female spouse w/young kids looking for mom in similar situation?
I'd love to find a caregiver like myself to exchange texts with, like our own mini support group. This is likely too specific, but ideally it would be a woman whose partner is in the early stages of Alzheimer's (like, very very early stages where most people can't tell) and whose kids are still living at home (our kids are…
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Informing others of diagnosis
I was wondering if I should mention to acquaintances that my DH is showing signs of Alzheimer’s. Sometimes we meet up with friends we haven’t seen in a long time and my DH has gotten to the point where he has very little to say or when he does say something it shows his memory is not normal. I don’t know whether to mention…
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I’m so confused
My husband has been declining physically and I believe, mentally. He used to be so strong, capable, easygoing and sensible. He now can no longer walk with me. Only a few years ago, I had a hard time keeping up with his pace, but now even at a stroll, he lags behind and is always worried about falling. He is not disabled,…
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How to disentangle adult children
This is my second post today b/c I’ve finally built up the courage to once again pour out my heart and soul to you, my anonymous brothers and sisters in caregiving. I’ll just say it: once you think everything is under control, you realize it’s not. I can’t help thinking that I should put DH in MC or NH sooner rather than…
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Private vs Companion Room
I’ve been touring MC facilities and many offer a choice between private and companion rooms with rates that reflect a higher cost for the private room. I’d always assumed I would just suck it up and pay for the private room because I figured my DH would not be comfortable with a roommate. On a recent tour, the guide made a…
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Caregiving Documentary on PBS
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Bonkers
I’ve been wanting to write but couldn’t muster the energy to frame everything that’s happened since I last posted so I decided I’ll just start in the middle…that takes less focus! My son suggested yesterday that my life would be “ten times easier” if I did not have a dog. He is right. I spend an inordinate amount of time…
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Why do PWD get so weak so quickly when they get a virus?
My DH has had some off and on symptoms - he vomited at dinner twice - but a full week apart, and has had some loose bowels. On Wednesday he was fine - went out with his companion and played pool, checkers, etc. Then Wednesday night he vomited at dinner again and had diarrhea twice over night. On Thursday morning, his…
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I’m going crazy out of my mind!
My DH is at the point where finding ways to fill up the day are getting excruciatingly difficult. He no longer is interested in puzzles, which used up a couple of hours a day. He no longer takes care of the yard which gave me a little time alone. We go for walks but two problems have come up with that activity - 1) it’s…
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My DH thinks there are four of me living in our home.
DH is convinced there is a group of us (his wife and her imposters) living in our house. Do any of you have a partner/spouse/LO who suffers from "imposter syndrome" or Capgras Syndrome? I am new to the world of dementia/Alzheimer's. I don't even know if what my DH has is dementia or Alzheimer's. What I do know is that my…
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Travelers to Unimaginable Lands
Sending best wishes to everyone. It’s two years since I joined this forum and since I’ve given up paid work entirely to care for my DH with Alz. Thinking back and looking at photos, it’s at least 5 years since he’s been certifiably loopy. It took me almost all this time to really get a handle on things & I know things will…
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DH getting weaker
My hubby has been treated for metastatic prostate cancer for 2 years. Last week we learned the Eligard is not working as well so we need to add another medication. This will likely make him weaker than he already is. Walking more than a few feet is already difficult so we have chairs everywhere he may need to sit and rest.…
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Short term memory gone now what?
Curious if there is stage where short term memory is just gone? DH has been declining with his short term memory but the past week it’s just not there! The verbal cues aren’t working, or verbal suggestions. Thought I’d have him literally write a list of 3 to-do’s , read it with him, asked what he will do first, got a reply…
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Unhappy Anniversary
Today is our 13th wedding anniversary. Last year DW jumped out of bed and gave me a big kiss and wished me a happy anniversary. This morning I told her happy anniversary and she had no reaction just continued to talk about something that made no sense. I guess this year is the beginning of unhappy anniversaries for me.…