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Reality
Just wanted to share my reality. My DH is a very physically fit 72 year old who was diagnosed with AD 3.5 years ago. One year ago today, August 23, 2024, he looked at me and said "who are you and where is my wife" Known as Capgras Syndrome, he knows most people, especially old friends, thinks I look like something like his…
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Sometimes you just have to laugh
So, I have a port wine birthmark on my face and I didn’t feel like putting on makeup to cover but I wanted to go get fresh beans and corn for dinner. DH says “I don’t know what you’re worried about, no one is going to pay attention to an old worn out lady like you” Then proceeded to say “you’re really acting crazy and not…
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How to stop concerning behavior
How do you stop your LO from doing inappropriate things? Two examples… When we walk in the neighborhood, DH sometimes wants to walk up people’s driveways so he can look at the water behind their house. I can’t think of anything to stop him other than saying that’s private property, then he gets angry at me and cusses me…
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New Diagnosis Support
Hello, My husband was diagnosed with MCI two years ago and within the last year we have had diagnostic testing for diagnosis of Ealry Alzheimers. He is doing well and on medications, but my question is about sharing diagnosis information with family. I have kept this private for the first year and then finally shared with…
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GYN Appointment
My 69 y/o wife is in stage 5 Alzheimer's. She has her annual GYN appointment coming up next month. She has declined significantly since last year and I have a couple of concerns. 1) Her personal hygiene has deteriorated and she resists my attempts to help and 2) She might not understand the purpose of the exam and become…
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Stage 6 help
hello Having a bad day today. Everyday is a roller coaster. My 56yo DH has FTD, and within the past week I have now had to put him on Anxiety meds. He is obsessed with dying and now I can no longer leave him alone because he thinks he will die without me here. I have looked into MC, but the problem is, he’s so aware of…
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Long time reader and now DH officially diagnosed with MCI
Not very computer savy and hope this is posted in the right place. Thank you for all the great information and ideas and expect to be a poster from now on. Am in Nevada and DH and I are elder citizens in late 70's, early 80's,
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From Maybe to Reality 4
Family had a big birthday party for DH (ALZ). I was afraid that it would be too much for him but he had the time of his life and at age 90, he danced every dance. The only think that I noticed was when 2 of the grandsons came over to the house before the party and spent time alone with him. He was telling some of his life…
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Flood in bathroom
Last night he left sink on and the sink was already clogged, so water went everywhere and damaged downstairs unit and we are liable for the damage I just cannot live like this and don't care about him anymore But I don't want him to engage with others because he does not make sense when he talks He talks in riddles but I…
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When Hospice?
How early is too early for hospice? My LO has been in a MCF almost a year- is physically mobile (seeks exit & agitated due to sundowning increase) - capable of feeding & toileting herself. Also very depressed, cries much of the day and won’t socialize even though capable. Medication changes haven’t helped with her…
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I’m so frustrated and scared
My DH has been doing fairly well but the last week he’s really failed. He had ear surgery and ever since has been so confused with delusion after delusion. He wet the bed last night for the first time ever and is refusing to wear depends tonight. He says he doesn’t need it. Can anybody suggest anything for tonight and also…
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I keep trying to take control
I am trying to help but I am really trying take control of everything, and it only makes things worse I think he knows I am doing this and he gets mad and I know I should just leave him alone.
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Need advice/support on next steps
DH is Stage 5 moving to 6. He is pretty good in the morning but gets confused and has sun downing in the afternoon/evening along with some delusions and hallucinations. He can be agitated and angry at times but that is not frequent at this time. I still work full time and had a companion with him who abruptly quit a few…
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Caregiving daily and trying to prepare for the future
How do you keep 1 foot in the here and now: care giving, taking care of everything and also tackle more long term things? The cavalry's not coming and I know i am in charge. I take care of DH and all the day to day stuff. I also think about the future, so much needs to be done. Deferred mainenance for over 10 yrs. DH has a…
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Unable to change soiled clothing
** update** Thanks for the advice and words of encouragement. For some reason DH decided to change his clothing. He could not do it on his own. He let me help. Smelly clothing is now pre-soaking in washer. * * * * * * * * * * * * My DH with vascular dementia and Alzhiemer's hadn't showered or bathed for a few years.…
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Determining "Stages"
Caring for my DH will be made easier if I can determine where he is in his progression. I noticed that many of the posts mention "Stage 3" or "Stage 6". I am not familiar with this staging technique. On the Alzheimer Assoc website there are three stages mentioned. Can someone help me understand the difference? Thanks for a…
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Bowel incontinence
My DH is stage 6. Up until recently he was bowel incontinent occasionally, maybe once or twice a week. Now it’s all the time. He’s always gone to the bathroom a couple if times a day, now I’m having to change him, clean him, 2-3 times a day. I guess he no longer has any control over it. I do have caregivers during the week…
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DW realized her memory loss
My DW had the realization that she has a memory problem. Her two children confirmed it to her. Whether she accepts it or not remains to be seen. She has always called me a liar when I told her that she has become forgetful.
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Update on Memory Care transition
My DH has been in MC now for 34 days. He continues to have delusions about his safety and mine, but I have found that he starts down that path if I am with him too long and there are no outside activities going on. So for now what is working is coming for scheduled walks and bus rides on Tues. and Thursday, and taking him…
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How to treat impending trauma?
Alzheimer's seems to take the whole family down. What are the ways to avoid that? I've been watching self-help videos about treating trauma. The videos I've come across address past trauma and how it impacts your physical and mental well-being. But what about those of us who are walking towards trauma? We're in the midst…
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Why do they have to be so angry?
My husband has had alzy for 4 years. He is so verbally abusive to me. Like telling me I'm fat, I'm not good enough. He loves to see me get mad when he says these things. I use to talk back, however that doesn't work. So now I don't respond. Is this normal?
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new skills
Today, I learned a new technique to get DW to change into clean clothes without a conflict. It feels good to be successful and to have learned something new and useful. The awful part of this is that whatever I learned that will work today,probably won't work tomorrow. It feels like the reward for success is decline and…
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Contact Alzheimer's hotline
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Unbelievable rage
Last night we argued about sleeping in his jeans I asked him wouldn't you be more comfortable if he took them off Hours later he raged downstairs and told me to get out of the house He said he was going to call the police I had to leave for my safety slept in a hotel But let down my guard and went home Now I wish I just…
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Anosognosia, alcohol and dementia
DH has AL and small vessel disease. I was thinking that he was living in denial but I'm pretty sure that is is anosognosia. Having said that and my pointing out to him that alcohol will destroy more brain cells, he still has a glass of wine every night, sometimes two and a margarita if we go out. He is borderline dementia.…
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Showering
DH is late stage 5 and into 6. Limited vision and quite unsteady. We have a shower with a built in bench, but to get into the shower he has to step over the border that goes around the floor. I am considering a remodel, but am interested in tips and practical suggestions on getting the shower done overall. Do you both get…
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Frozen in time for a minute
I would appreciate any insight into this issue. My DH and I returned from a night flight Portland Oregon to Philadelphia, PA after seeing family for a week. Two days later he awoke around 7am as usual talking about going for a bike ride. Suddenly his body seemed to freeze, arms in mid-air for about a minute. He was staring…
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I am forgetting, too
I usually am very organized, but with the stress of a DH with dementia, I am forgetting appts, lose things, and run around and getting nothing done. I know it is because of the caretaking, and am the ONLY caretaker because family has turned away from us because they just don't want to deal with this private hell
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Phantom Pain
I was just wondering if your loved ones with dementia experience phantom pains. My DH has been complaining of his thigh hurting for a few weeks. No visible signs of anything. I thought maybe a pulled muscle but after a few weeks it did not go away. He doesn't do anything physical activity except walk and that is only one…
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To My Fellow Warriors
This journey is the worst, yet we all get up, stiffen our spines and get back at taking good care of our LOs. We get irritable, cry, depressed, exhausted, and we still get up and take good care of our LOs. We put our needs second to make sure our LOs are safe and comfortable and get up the next day and do it again.…