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I just want to thank all my caring supportive friends
It's so odd that this online community of caring souls is brought together to give one another encouragement and support eventhough we are all going through hell. My friends and family try to understand but only you folks here truly get it. Some days we can be so strong and others we are barely hanging on. I lurked for…
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Gentle, caring DH has become combative - now what?
My sweet DH, 77 yrs old, diagnosed with dementia 14 yrs ago moved to MC in July. Staff loves him due to his gentle demeanor and concern for others. However, he has become more combative when approached for showers, changing clothes and when redirected from doing something that could hurt him or others. Today he hit two…
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Altered taste, hearing and smell
DH is in the early stages and is constantly complaining about things smelling “different” or all his food tastes like crap. He is also complaining of not being able to hear very well. We have had a hearing exam with an audiologist, an ENT, and our primary. They don’t see anything. Is this part of the process? Have any of…
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Dreaming of the future
We spend so much time caring for our demented spouses. Our lives are turned upside down and inside out, being dragged down the rabbit hole with our spouses to "dementia land". Our days look so very different with more work than we can accomplish and little time for ourselves and our needs. My husband is sleeping more these…
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Selling A House
Somehow, my DW and I both manage to own a house here in CA. I have been managing the one that’s a rental, minimally, for the last 3 years or so. Part of the drop in paying closer attention to it is we moved and it’s now 5 hours away. I want to sell to my DWs stepdaughter and husband. It will give us cash for when she needs…
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DH put on in home hospice care
The long road is heading towards the end. I am trying to stay strong, but with each passing day, the road becomes more treacherous. Last night DH fell after getting out of bed in the dark. In the process, he lost control of his bowels, in his Depends. Hospice said to call 911 for a non emergency lift assist. This is the…
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Experience with Buspirone
DH is only on memantine right now, and I’m still on the fence about adding more meds, thinking that I should be able to adjust my behavior or triggers first. I mentioned anxiety at his last appt with PCP and they suggested buspirone as a med that is “on demand” rather than something that needs to be built up in the system.…
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Stage 6 - Memory Care?
My husband is stage 6. He dropped 7 points on his MMSE in one year. I’m seriously considering memory care. I’m concerned about finances. It says stage 6 averages 2.5 years. How long have yr LO’s stayed in stage 6? Do all become incontinent or can they skip that? DH doesn’t sit down all day, he has to be doing ‘something’.…
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THE INSOMNIA AT STAGE 7
Hello to all, I am very sleep deprived at the moment, but wanted to post, Please excuse any bloopers. DH is having very restless nights. He has been on Seraquel 25 mg which has helped with mood , but not with sleep. So we are on a trial and error path for sleep med. The first one, Zyprexa was useless, Now switched to…
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Hiw many spouses sleep in another room?
My DH gets extremely anxious and agitated, sundowning is in full effect at our house. My husband is up and down all night long. Good nights 15x, many nights 25+. I can't take care of him if I'm not getting any sleep. Dr tried respiridine and trazadine but they decreased his BP to critical levels, 70/50. Off those meds, BP…
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The realities of paying for M/C
I'm wanting to hear from those of you who have been down this road and are ahead of me on this journey. We are still maintaining at home for now. I would like to keep him home as long as he isn't violent or wandering but I a realist and know I need to have a back up plan. We aren't rich but both have pensions and SS. The…
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Looking for MC
It has been 11 days since my DH was admitted to the hospital. After 3 days, he was admitted to a Geriatric Psychiatric unit an hour away from our house. I go every day to see him and he wants to go home . He has no memory of his violence, but I am afraid to have him home. I have been looking for a decent available spot for…
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Needing support from my online "friends" who walk a similar journey.
I'm strong most of the time but feeling very vulnerable tonight. MCI diagnosis after neuro/psych testing many yrs ago. 2 strokes and 2 vascular surgeries later dr says likely VD. DH refuses further testing or medical evaluation. He's done. Don't blame him, its been a lot of tests that ruled out lots of things. He wants no…
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Big Move today!
After touring several memory care facilities, I found one that really seemed perfect. I am waiting now to hear that the transport is on the way! I moved his furniture into his room, yesterday, with the help of my son and sister in law. It looks cozy and homey, Now, to help him ease in without too much drama! It has been…
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Trigger warnings
Hi all, yesterday my LO with stage 4-5 received a late payment bill and spent 3 hours going through his papers and swearing he paid the bill even when there had been no check written or recorded. I have taken over ALL the bills except that one😝it was 3 hours of cussing, going back and forth to the mailbox. Finally at 10 PM…
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The Velveteen Rabbit
I posted this a long while back, but most of the people here now are new, so I thought it would be a good time to repost. When we were married, almost 46 years ago, the priest added this reading to our wedding ceremony from a children’s book, “The Velveteen Rabbit” by Margery Williams. My sister read it at the ceremony. I…
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Just need to vent : Last Days of Gene Hackman: ABC News Special
It is obvious that his spouse went to great length to protect his medical privacy and it was something she was quite successful at. I have great admiration for what she was able to accomplish. Protecting the dignity of my DW is priority #3 after her health and safety. It is not an easy thing to do. Now her reward for…
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Cost of Memory Care
I read yesterday that Memory Care is $115,000 a year. How can anyone afford that??!! and what are the alternatives?
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When to move to memory care
My wife periodically thinks I am her father from time to time. We can go days between the episodes, which can last until bedtime. Then she will wake up fine. My concern is that she will still recognize me from time to time after I move her. I will be absolutely heartbroken that I abandoned her. She does not wander, so I am…
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Vacation
My husband has moderate vd dementia. Prior to this dx, we bought a timeshare that I am still paying on. The idea of not being able to travel and use that is awful to me. I still work full time and have a companion with him most of the day. Our last vacation was when I saw a huge difference in him and he "lost" the memory…
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Retired military or spouse with Tricare
This is new coverage for members with Tricare insurance. For up to the next five years, TRICARE will cover Food and Drug Administration (FDA)-approved monoclonal antibodies (MABs) lecanemab (brand name Leqembi) and donanemab (brand name Kisunla), for the treatment of Alzheimer’s disease in patients with mild cognitive…
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Unusual Walk
We go for a mile walk every day weather permitting. Of late my LV who is 74 yrs old and physically very fit , has been walking “strange” of late. I am afraid she will trip and fall. Anybody experienced this ?
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More than a man
My wife asked me today if I was OK, and I replied I was OK for an old man. She said, "You're more than a man." She's right. I'm a caregiver, a husband, a lover, a friend, a father, a brother, a teacher, a writer, a gardener, and more. You are more than a man/woman too.
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Anger and delusions all day
My DH is in a rehabilitation facility after a fall in which he fractured his neck. He has to wear a neck brace for about 3 months. He is doing very well in therapy. He has a history of anger, paranoia, agitation, and and infidelity delusions. He has had these episodes in the facility but, unlike today has been over the top…
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Talking gibberish in his sleep
hi Wondering if any caregivers in the group have experienced constant nonsense talk during the night. My DH with Alzheimer's, will sound like he's carrying on a conversation, but it doesn't make sense. It's a rambling on that keeps me awake, and startles him awake when he gets loud or angry, in his sleep. If I try to wake…
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help with anger and corrections
I'm 52 female, my DW is 66, recently diagnosed. We are in early stages of this journey - not a lot of memory issues, but trouble figuring out how to open doors, remembering to eat, figuring out how things work like showers, clothes, etc. I have a lot to learn, but would love some pointers on what to do about the anger -…
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Not sure how to feel
The last week of February my DH and myself tested positive for covid. Two weeks later we tested negative and his symptoms seem to have went away, but on the 19th of March we took him to the ER for a totally different issue when they found he has pneumonia and spent 3 days in the hospital. They said he tested positive for…
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Hi I'm 10 second Louie!!
So if you have ever seen the movie 50 first dates with Adam Sandler I am currently living with "10 second Tom" this weekend. For those who have not seen the movie it starts Drew Barrymore as a young girl who was in car accident and has brain trauma. This trauma caused it so that her brain resets every night and she relives…
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MCI Diagnosis
My DH has been diagnosed with MCI after a fairly brief evaluation from a neurologist (with review of his MRI and bloowork). It appears that this is an umbrella term that could mean any number of things, so I'm confused about his actual diagnosis. I'm contemplating getting a more detailed neuropsych evaluation but hear that…
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Advice on Deed
I need to get some advice from you folks on what to do with our home deed. The deed is in both my and my DW name. It is also included in our Trust. I will probably need to sell house to help defray the costs of MC some day. When and if we get to that day, my DW will probably not be able to sigh any documents. I do have a…