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Anger and agitation - how much is too much?
Over the years I have managed to develop a lot of patience and compassion for what DH is going through. But, I really struggle with anger and agitation. Throughout our marriage we were never screamers. With this disease the occasional yelling, screaming, and verbal attacks are killing me. My stomach immediately ties up in…
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My spouse can’t stop eating.
He goes out several times a day to buy food. He has hypertension and heart disease. He eats highly salted food. I am afraid he will have a stroke. Any one relate?
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Jo C, privacy and a good wishes thread
While I have been away a long time and only just discovered Jo C's illness, it is wonderful to see how many discussion board members care and are concerned. During our years together as Peer Volunteers, we often discussed how important our privacy was and how it was necessary to have boundaries to keep our identity…
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I'm overwhelm!
My DH was diagnosed with dementia a few months ago I don't really know witch one because every time we see the doctor it changes. He sees things that I don't see. I'm amazed how fast its progressing the way that he cant remember things. He is only suppose to be in the mild stage. What really gets me is all the paper work I…
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Rough times
I’m a newcomer to this. My DW is in mid stage dementia, starting last October and is aggressively getting worse. Being the caregiver and trying to to work with an elder lawyer is so overwhelming. My DW is only 67, it’s difficult thinking I’ll have to deal with MC placement in the future. In the afternoons (I’ll call it…
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Renovations
We will have to do some renovations to the house, mainly doors and bathroom and ramp to resolve access issues. Is there any advice on how to do this without causing stress for LO. Thank you
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"Who am I?"
Today I realized again that DH isn’t always sure exactly who I am. He knows my name, at least, but not necessarily that I am his wife of nearly 49 years. He seems to believe that he was married to someone else before me, and I suspect that this is partly because I don’t look the way I did back then—of course, neither does…
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I just don't know what to do.
Those of you on this site have probably seen me post several times. I am all over the board. As background — my DH was diagnosed with Alzheimer's 6 years ago after 4 or 5 years of symptoms. I quit my job and stayed home with him, and things went pretty well until three months ago. It was tiring, I couldn't get much time…
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As of 2:00 today, my DH is in Memory Care
When you say for better for worse, in sickness and in health, I'm not sure I thought about dealing with dementia. My husband who was diagnosed with FTD 3 1/2 years ago is not in a Memory Care facility. My heart is breaking. We met 41 years ago, and have been married almost 38. I'm not sure I'll ever be ok without him
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The bizarre way the dementia mind works!
This would have almost been funny if it hadn't been my DH talking to me! My DH has accused me of infidelity with a particular individual on more than one occasion. I have learned not to over-react after I got really angry the first time and then realized it made no difference. Last night he accused me again, but this time…
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On a lighter note……one year in
Last Sunday marked one year without DH. On Saturday, I felt the need to carry out a threat that I had made many times over many years. DH coached HS baseball for 43 years on the field that is now named in his honor. He was successful, well respected, and well loved, but he was unable (or unwilling) to stay in the 3rd base…
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Random thoughts from the early days...
I'm feeling so grateful to have found this place. I am in the beginning of this journey. I'm sure you'll all relate, though, when I say it's been hell for many years. I know it's been AT LEAST five, but now I find myself looking back and finally understanding all those fights (basically me fighting with myself because for…
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Battling UTIs - question
My wife has had frequent recurring UTIs. Last fall I started her on TheraCran One. She did not have another UTI for just about a year, maybe a little more. But in the last 3 months she has had 3 more UTIs. And I'm going to have another sample tested tomorrow. The TheraCran One costs around $85.00 for a 3 month supply, and…
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Caring for a spouse AND a parent
Ten months after we moved to our retirement home, which is five hours from friends and even farther from family, DH was diagnosed with AD (early stage, and possible candidate for new treatment - we'll know more next month). I am also the sole caregiver for my 93yo mother, who has moderate, age-related dementia, but is…
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Light bulb!
Think I’m finally figuring out my anger is all about realizing each outburst, each I don’t remember, reminds me about his dementia and He/I am slowly losing him! And I cannot change it! Feeling helpless wishing for something that will never be! In a way that “ light bulb” is helping. I hope!
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Lorita's page
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how do you talk to an elderlaw attorney?
I'm in the beginning stages of talking to a (not officially certified) elderlaw attorney. We already have wills, health care proxies, etc., but I wanted another pair of eyes to see whether we missed something. Here's my problem. DW has anosognosia and gets angry at any suggestion that she has a problem. How can I discuss…
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Representative Payee Annual Accounting
Can anyone else who has done this for a LO in MC, walk me through how they do the rep payee annual accounting, given the online forms don't allow any notes or places to attach receipts?
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Another outburst...doctor suggests new drug...MC
I am just sharing because it helps me to get this off my chest. My DH had another outburst on Thursday night which was truly frightening. My one interest that takes me out of the house is rehearsal for a musical group I belong to, which happens each Thursday evening. Since myself, my DDIL and DS are all a bit afraid of…
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New Here - Wife of 56yo - Major Neurocognitive Disorder
Good Morning. After years of struggling and questioning my own sanity, my husband has been diagnosed with MND by a neuropsychologist. His MRI shows extensive white brain matter and old lacunes. We have a follow-up with the neurologist on 5/6 to get an official diagnosis, cause and prognosis, but according to the report, it…
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Spouse Newly Diagnosed
Hello everyone, My 65-year-old DH of 43 years was just diagnosed with dementia by neurologist with whom it took 6 months to get an appointment. PCP diagnosed MCI last summer. Although I anticipated, no, expected, the dementia diagnosis, I am reeling from it being “official.” I feel rage and despair and hopelessness. I am…
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New here
Greetings, I just signed up today, August 17, 2023. Thank you for this forum. I am the primary caregiver for my husband. I am still learning how to cope with his diagnosis. Sorry to ask questions, but where can I find the "stages" of Alzheimer's? I see many of you mention a stage with a number. I need to know what stage my…
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Competely overwhelmed and in tears or on the verge of tears ALWAYS
Hi all! I'm new here. My 59 yo DH was diagnosed with early onset alzheimer's and primary progressive aphasia in Sept 2020. He was able to continue working until Dec of 22. He's been home and frustrated and bored and angry since then. He gets so confused and believes things that haven't happened. Sees things and people do…
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Extraction of all teeth
DH aged 83 stage 5/6 needs to have all his teeth extracted. Should it be done all in one appointment? I am concerned with anesthesia and whether I will be able to care for him after the procedure until he heals. Any recommendations will be appreciated.
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There are no dementia indicators on an MRI, so what kinds of dementia wouldn't show up?
My DH had an MRI last week. It showed basically what the previous two did - some shrinkage of the brain but not really any progression and about the expected shrinkage for a 78-year-old man. What kinds of dementia would have no indicator on a brain scan? He walks and talks like a person with dementia - he is confused much…
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Nutrition Tips - gourmet puree! (Just kidding, but great tips)
Forum mates, I just posted about our chewing woes in the Caregiver's forum and here is a different article. Hoping this helps someone else either now or in the future, as it turns out to be a VERY time consuming thing! I will know enough to maybe open a gourmet puree restaurant when this is all over (!). This author is…
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Reached out to my state rep
I am tired of everyone (doctors, lawyers, care givers, MC administration, etc) that I speak to telling me the system is broke, the system is going to implode, that there is nothing more I can do, and that I am in a unique position. That position being younger than my DH and not able to retire yet to care for him. Assisted…
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My observations about MC
First of all, at least in my situation, an MC isn't like "committing" them to an "institution" where we imagine them in straight jackets banging their heads against the wall all day while Jack Nicholson is planning his escape. An MC can be a very homely and lovely place for them to recieve the care they need in a caring…
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How to deal with perceived anger
Just curious how everyone deals with your LO thinking you are angry at them but of course you are not. DH got up this morning saying I was really angry at him last night. I wasnt but that did not matter. What do you do? Do you just say okay I was angry but I am not now so lets move on? I dont like being the bad guy and…
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My DH went to MC today
My family and I have been thinking for a long time that because of his angry and agitated behavior DH needed a safer environment than I could provide for him at home. We had chosen a facility in February but we had to await an opening and also had difficulties getting doctors to sign off on their forms. I will say that the…