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Don’t know what to respond
My DH has just moved to a new MC after he was “dumped” in the ER by the prior facility. He is now getting great care, but the stay in the ER did a lot of damage. He cannot walk, has vision problems and his speech, which was poor, has become almost unintelligible. So he has lost the ability to communicate with the care…
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New at this. HELP
My wife has short term memory loss, higher than normal fear levels, general agitation and breaks down and cries far too often and easily. Don't know how to get into her world and probably support and help. Need advice and counsel ASAP.
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Looking in the rear view mirror
Why do we spend so much time on looking in the rear view mirror? It is so useless. We ask ourselves those questions that have no satisfactory answers. We torture ourselves with guilt, regret, resentment and remorse. Why? We complain that it is so unfair that our retirement that was dreamed of and planned for ends up in…
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Tired
My wife is in the beginning stages she forgets a lot of daily conversations and can’t find the right words to make a sentence. I like to go exercise walk but can only be gone for two hours. She wakes up mad at me almost every day. I go walking daily just to have me time. I take care of everything, finances, cooking,…
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Checking on Butterfly Wings
just aware of your absence, hope things are okay…
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It's time
My husband's progression keeps marching on. His gait has been unsteady and this week he had a bad fall. In the end he had some bad bruising, but thankfully no other injuries. He's had two more falls since. I'm finally accepting that I can't keep him safely at home. I've started the process to place him. I hate this so…
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Lots of strangers coming and going at home
I started with in home care for my DH back in the summer. I'll be honest, I was so overwhelmed at the time, that just having a few hours to myself was amazing. I also had to hire contractors to do many things my husband use to do or that we would do together. I went through 3 cleaning services alone, not to mention the…
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Medicare visit
Just a vent. My Dh had a Medicare yearly visit yesterday. Most all of you know the questions that it entities. When it came to the memory (clock )he couldn't do it . Became very agitated. I had the na stop it. She was not happy. I explain he already has the diagnosis and there is no sense in upsetting him. Just FYI last…
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Incontinence (fecal)
need to buy depends or whatever is out there for hubby with fecal incontinence. He has accidents during the night. Thank god so far not in the bed but he can’t seem to get to toilet on time and it happens on his way to bathroom. There goes another pair of underwear. I’m hoping there’s something that’s close to looking like…
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Suffering from anxiety
I am only child in my late 50. Lost my mom to same disease 15 yrs ago. Now my dad . He has been in rehab/assisting living for year now. How do deal with sundown around 6pm he wants me to pick him and take him out. He curses and slams things around his room. This causes me anxiety and my blood pressure goes up. Sometimes I…
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So many posts remind me. . .
I see many posts and I think to myself we were there in the exact place 3 maybe four years ago and we are still not done. I feel sorry for those with years still left in trenches. My heart goes out to you because I was there as well and still am there. We are on the backside now but doesn't mean we don't have a long way to…
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Broken tooth and dentist
I've discovered that my DH has a broken tooth and he is digging into his mouth, thinking he's got something stuck between his teeth. He refuses to go to the dentist. What can I do???
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caregiver needs help
My wife has vascular dementia. She is very articulate, very social and very stubborn. She has had several falls resulting in broken hips and vertebrae, but doesn't think she needs help. I have employed a caregiver couple half-days a week. Generally this provide a nasty response each time the person arrives. Regularly she…
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10 things "I've" learned about MC's.
These are just a few of the things I've seen in the last 6mo. My DW is in a fairly decent facility but there is no perfect place. When you place your LO in an MC facility and walk away, that will be one of the hardest days of your life. The staff are generally well meaning, caring and perform an incredibly difficult job…
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working with incontinence
DH is beginning to have wetting issues…he goes to toilet but it takes him forever to pee, then after he finishes there is wet all over his pants. I think this is age as much as Alz, but hate for him to be out on public and visible. I believe there are pads to put in his underwear, looking for suggestions and brands, please.
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It’s a marathon, not a sprint
Sitting by my sleeping husband’s bedside in the ER for his fifth agitation/aggression admission since May, have been reflecting on what I’ve learned about hospitalizations. When his memory care called me last night with the news he had had another altercation and was going to the ER, first I took a deep breath. Then I…
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Need support hubby needs assisted living
I’m at my wits end. I can’t handle having him here anymore. He’s having incontinence a few times a week. Sleeps until noon or 1 pm. Can’t remember last time he showered. I gave up on asking him. Didn’t shave etc. I just had talk with him saying it might be a good idea if we move him to assisted living. He just stared at me…
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So confused. I don’t know what to do.
I just read Clarinetist’s post about Plan D. I think I’m in the exact same predicament. DH has been in and out of hospitals in at least 8 different nursing units since mid July. He had been doing pretty well but sundowning with quite a bit of aggression kicked in. During these pat. 2 mos. He had one unsuccessful GPU stay.…
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Lecanemab
Has anyone started or familiar with the latest drug approved last July 2023 - Lecanemab -- What would be the benefit?
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Arguments about travel that is unrealistic
This is such a wonderful forum full of caring people. I am struggling with a difficult topic with my DH and need suggestions. DH is diagnosed with vascular dementia but doc doesn't give other particulars. DH has a long list of comorbidities including heart failure, COPD, very high risk of falls including about 15 serious…
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He wants to see my list
I've been concerned about my DH moving into dementia for 5 years. It's been slow but seems to have speeded up. I keep a journal of behavior changes I've noticed. So, yesterday we had The Talk. I handled it very badly although I'm not sure what a good way would be. (We've talked about the possibility before but he doesn't…
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A Deeper Way
I read this today and thought I would pass it along. The words in parentheses are mine. Written by James L . Smaller in Flying Solo. “When I think about how I leaned on my wife (husband) , I have to say that her (his) support helped me function in some immature ways. Her (his) strength and support continued the illusion…
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ALZ, a time to laugh or chuckle, a time to cry
Just sharing a weird thing… DH in ES ALZ…We went to church and sitting in our usual aisle seat. ( I am immuno defecient so always try not to be between people). Some people wanted to be seated down the pew, so I bent my knees to the side to let them pass and DH flopped his legs up on the pew to let them pass. Yes, it's a…
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Memory Care, Early Retirement, or Keep Pushing On?
Hi Friends, it's been a while. For all the exhausted caregivers out there who are also still working to put food on the table, how many times a month (or a day) do you wrestle with this multiple-choice test? Should I give up and place my dear wife in memory care, so I have the energy to continue working? (Sacrifice $$ for…
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Figuring out my plan D
After spending the summer in several Geri-psych units, my DH is back at his memory care. He’s been on Seroquel and Risperidone, and is currently on Zyprexa. A week ago, Depakote was added. But the aggressive incidents continue. I’m concerned that his memory care placement is endangered. He is physically in good shape, so…
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Is palliative care a good option for someone with dementia?
My wife is in AL, recently moved from MC. She was aggressive and refused medication or seeing a doctor. I'm hoping to bring her home in a month, she is doing well on the meds in the facility. Is palliative care a good option?
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A few days ago things were manageable, but then the wheels fell off
My DH has had Lewy Body dementia for 4 years now. He is 85, I'm 75. Up until just recently, we've been doing pretty well. I was even able to leave him at home alone while I work (just 3-4 hours a day in the morning). A few days ago, it was like someone pulled a switch. He has always been very verbal, but now won't stop…
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Anger - not new but becoming absolutely untenable...
Fair warning: This is just a ramble and not particularly well written but I am desperate. My husband is hovering somewhere between the late early and early middle stage of Alzheimer's I'm guessing. I've seen everything from 3 to 7 stages or more of this agonizing disease and, frankly, I'm not sure the stage matters as…
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Uncomfortable with my feelings toward my LO
Hi fellow warriors, First I’d like to say that I know there is no answer to my situation but I need to at least vent. I am absolutely going crazy, which turns into self-loathing because I am not handling my situation at all well. I am deeply, deeply depressed. My DH and I have been on this journey for 7 years now. It’s…
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did I do the right thing placing him in MC
My husband was placed on a MC unit due to aggression. After two weeks he looks and sounds great. All he says is he wants to go home, part of me wants to take him home. It would save so much heartache and money, but I know it will all just start over again. He can't control it, can he. Should I bring him home. He's been…