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Doughnuts
DH has diabetes. Every Saturday morning is a coffee and doughnuts get together at our condo complex. It became an unpleasant situation when DH would eat 4 or more doughnuts so I have been taking him out to breakfast instead to avoid his uncontrollable behavior. Today while I was getting our car to go to breakfast, DH…
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Re-posting for new member MariaT - alcohol and dementia struggles
MariaT says: This is my first time on the forum. I was feeling very alone, thinking that no one else had to face dementia plus alcohol dependence (white wine) in a spouse, which makes everything so much worse and harder. Of course, his doctors have told him he must stop, but he remembers nothing and gets angry at the very…
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Sneaking Alcohol and Driving
My DH was diagnosed with MCI about four years ago. He scored low in short term memory and executive functioning on his neuropsych exam. 2023 was absolute hell with sneaking alcohol, voluntary commital for suicide plan not acted out but still threatens suicide, physical violence twice (I wouldn't let him drive off in…
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Mom broke her hip two days ago
This past Sunday, I got a call from my Mom's Memory care. She had fallen and they thought her hip was broken. She was sent ambulance to the nearest trauma center and it was determined she did indeed break her hip (femoral head). They did surgery the same day and replaced the femoral head. My Mom was fully ambulatory, and…
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Zoom
hi are there any zoom meetings for a spouse that has a husband with early onset FLD he is 40
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Clonepin? Or Seroquel?
My DH is on Clonepin. As I understand, it’s kind of like Xanax. His main issue is his agitation about wanting to go home to his parents every day. (Parents long gone). He begs for hours every day to “go home”. The Clonepin helps to some degree but it’s not a miracle drug. Would Seroquel be a better option?
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going to bathroom
I'm new here, taking care of my 75 yo wife who has dementia. Lately, last few weeks, she has been sitting on the toilet for hours on end (8-10-12 hours a day) feeling like she has to go after already having done her business. Doc says it's the dementia that makes her feel that there's more to come. Don't know how to get…
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Dealing with the rollercoaster of emotions... FTD/Pick's DH56
Oh guys. These rollercoaster of emotions. We are newly diagnosed, but it's like crossing the finish line of part 1 of this psychological thriller. I feel like I've been living in hell for over 10 years as DH's personality and emotions changed before my eyes and I was the only one who could see. When I shared with a…
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Geriatric vs. Regular psychiatrist
I don't want to sound cruel or that I don't care. My bf (44yo) was referred to a geriatric psychiatrist to help with "the man in the mirror... his reflection in general" the closest gery psych is almost 45 mins away. My question is, is there truely a difference between a regular psychiatrist and a geriatric psychiatrist…
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Scary Adventure
Yesterday, (around 2pm) somewhat expected, my LO announced she was going home (usuall) but since it was close she was going to walk (usuall), i interjected “got an errand to run, ill take you” and we got in the car (usuall), went to leave the driveway - “that’s the wrong way, my house is the other way (unusual). Agitated…
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Dementia vs stage 4 lung cancer - advice neede
(cross posted from caring for a parent) For those who have experience being a caregiver for someone who has significant co-morbidities, could you help me understand how to address my MIL’s changing needs? MIL is almost 92. She has had lung cancer for 10 years. The oncologist believes the tumors are very slow growing due to…
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The rest of the story
DH was diagnosed with lung cancer -- aggressive -- the first week in March. There was nothing to be done. The sudden worsening of memory, vision issues, abdominal issues, lessening appetite and energy - it was not from a progression of his neurological disease but the cancer accelerating the neurological symptoms. He was…
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Do You Talk To Yourself Out Loud As A Caregiver?
I have started talking out loud to myself (Not within DH’s hearing) both to vent about something DH has done or said and to try and calm myself. I say “it is not him, it is the disease” or “I can get through this” or even have back and forth mini-conversation with me, myself and I! Does anyone else do this? Am I losing it?
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Got it
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SSDI
My DH gets a pension from local government retirement. He worked many years prior to that job paying into SS so he does receive some SS income but it is reduced due to Government Pension Offset. Will the GPO or his pension affect his eligibility for SSDI based on his alzheimers? Thinking about future needs, SSDI could…
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Sad realization
As things progress, despite the number of trips each day and distractions along the way (stopping to visit family, watch sailing competitions at local college, run an errand, stop at A&W for a shake and burger (our first date included A&W) or whatever, is seems that we are increasingly unable to find “home”. The arrival at…
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Suggestions on how to introduce companion services, please?
I think it's time for companion services for my DH. His friends have slipped away and I know he is lonely. I can fill some of his friendship needs, but he definitely needs more socialization. It's been suggested that I start introducing a new "friend" to him but how do I do that? It has also been suggested that I introduce…
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SOS- is Zinc Oxide (20%) Cream Edible?
Driving & look in the mirror… DH looks like he just had the best meal ever. Smeared all over his mouth & chin & he’s chewing! Pulled over & see he’s retrieved the butt cream from our “go” bag. And has a plastic SPOON with half a bite left on it.!!! I wiped out as much as possible (getting bitten) & am calling poison…
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It’s not easy being green…
Before dementia and incontinence, we used to be so careful about recycling, using our own grocery bags and waiting til we had a full load of clothes before doing the wash. Living in California, we were careful about water use. Our regular trash bin was seldom more than about a third full. Now I order incontinence underwear…
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Devastating disease: Mentally, physically, emotionally, socially and financially
DH has been exhibiting executive function deficits for a long time. He was diagnosed with MCI 4 yrs ago and he is getting worse cognitively, physically, socially. Finally getting an assessment this Friday. I have accepted that he has dementia, (his mother died from ALZ and his brother too last year. I understand it is a…
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Long Term Health Care
I have been starting to look at our LTC policy and information as things progress. One thing i have trouble understanding is the 90 Day waiting period (that’s what we have). It has been described as a ‘deductable’. I’m guessing you have to spend so much to get to the 90 day point, what i cant find is what counts and how it…
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Wondering ...
How would you handle this? A relative regularly calls me to check up on us, and I’m very grateful for that. But nearly every time I talk to her, she says to me that she’s so glad that although her husband has numerous health issues, at least she can have a coherent conversation with him. And every damned time she says…
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Question for this beautiful but lonely Sunday
What is more detrimental, the physical or emotional toll of a caregiver’s day?
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Ups and downs in late stage Alzheimers and Hospice
hello, My husband is 71 with late stage Alzheimers and vascular dementia, diabetes etc.. He has been in hospice care since March 8. Hospice was recommended by his PCP due to difficulty walking, incontinence, trouble swallowing pills, weight loss etc. Hospice gave him 6 months in March. Some days I think they are correct,…
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Is meeting someone new a possibility?
Hi. I am new here. My DH was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s a year ago. He is 57 and I am 49. He has mild to moderate symptoms. His behaviour started to slowly change about 8 years ago. Although of course then I didn’t understand why. Before we realised he may have dementia I had started contemplating the fact that I don’t…
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Anger and agitation - how much is too much?
Over the years I have managed to develop a lot of patience and compassion for what DH is going through. But, I really struggle with anger and agitation. Throughout our marriage we were never screamers. With this disease the occasional yelling, screaming, and verbal attacks are killing me. My stomach immediately ties up in…
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My spouse can’t stop eating.
He goes out several times a day to buy food. He has hypertension and heart disease. He eats highly salted food. I am afraid he will have a stroke. Any one relate?
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Jo C, privacy and a good wishes thread
While I have been away a long time and only just discovered Jo C's illness, it is wonderful to see how many discussion board members care and are concerned. During our years together as Peer Volunteers, we often discussed how important our privacy was and how it was necessary to have boundaries to keep our identity…
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I'm overwhelm!
My DH was diagnosed with dementia a few months ago I don't really know witch one because every time we see the doctor it changes. He sees things that I don't see. I'm amazed how fast its progressing the way that he cant remember things. He is only suppose to be in the mild stage. What really gets me is all the paper work I…
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Rough times
I’m a newcomer to this. My DW is in mid stage dementia, starting last October and is aggressively getting worse. Being the caregiver and trying to to work with an elder lawyer is so overwhelming. My DW is only 67, it’s difficult thinking I’ll have to deal with MC placement in the future. In the afternoons (I’ll call it…