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I don't know how to deal with this
I've dealt with memory lapses before, but I don't know how to deal with this one. DW has basically lost all memory of at least yesterday and today. She says she hasn't seen me in days and says I should just tell her if I want a divorce. I could provide witnesses that saw her and me together at least today, and I could…
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Don't think I can do it
I have a move in date of Feb 1 for my DW's placement. The closer it gets the more apprehension I have about it. I feel as if I have a second wind and can care for her a while longer, maybe one more year, I'm falling into a routine cleaning her each morning because every morning is a mess but it's no longer a big deal to me…
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CELA or Attorney Practicing Elder Law
Is there any significance to hiring a CELA over an Attorney that advertises they practice elder law but is not designated as a CELA?
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Had to share
Yesterday dh was asked “how many children do you have “ his response “300 and working on one more “! Gotta love those numbers!
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When can i go home
Just cant get past the i want to go home issue. Every night is has become our conversation. She wants to know when we are going home, i try and deflect it but she keeps coming back to it, this is so depressing. She wants something we cant do and i cant stop her from talking about it and if i ignore it she is mad at me all…
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Won't Shower
Even though this was not a bit funny when it happened, I thought I would share it with all of you. My DH refuses to bathe - no showers or baths for that big man. He was fastidious prior to his dementia and would be appalled to know he's doing this. Last night I got him ready for bed, then walked him to the bathroom to use…
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It’s Just Not Funny
I just have to vent and this forum is it. It’s therapeutic to type or write for me. This neighbor had surgery last week and my DH and him are friends. Not go to the ballpark friends but they did meet for coffee on Sundays occasionally. He sent an email to my DH asking him to get his mail and check on the garbage cans if he…
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Scripts for MC move
I’m looking for advice on what kind of stories you all have used to tell your LOs why they are moving to MC. My Care Manager advises me to make up a reason, and share this script with the MC staff, with friends and family who will visit my DW, and use it whenever I visit. Besides the dread of lying to my wife of 48 years,…
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Chosing a facility
Questions to ask before choosing an assisted living facility (msn.com)
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Newbie
Hello folks, I am 64. The man of my life (62) had started showing memory short term memory loss over the last 9/10 months . Both his parents suffered from a dementia at the time of their passing. He finally noticed enough that he agreed to get tested we’re just starting with the GP short term, memory test.After the test ,…
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Mr Toad and the Chocolate
It’s been a long time since I posted here. I am in the 16th year of the journey with my wife, now in hospice at the Memory Care Center. Her words are long gone, she’s on soft food, and her light-up-the-room smile flashes on much less often. But the person I have loved for half a century is still…the person I still and…
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My DH is losing ground, but I am not sure if it is because we moved.
My DH and I have moved twice in a little over a year. The first time we moved to a single family home to be near his brother. something my DH was sure would solve all of his problems. That was a total disaster, and as soon as the golf season was over, my DH was so depressed and anxious he couldn't leave the house. I knew…
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Certified Elder Lawyer
Does anyone have any suggestions on what questions I should ask when I meet with the Elder Lawyer? I plan on asking about Wills, trusts, Power of Attorney, and protecting assets. I am sure there is more I should ask or be worried about that I do not know.
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Hiring caregiver on my own
I'm looking for input on hiring a caregiver. I have tentatively identified a candidate experienced in Alz caregiving and used by people I vaguely know. I was told the candidate is "dependable and nothing was ever missing." It was a very brief conversation with that one reference and I want to dig to see if there are…
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Faiths roll in my journey
My DH was diagnosed about 5 years ago. As all of us know it’s been a challenging, sad time in our lives. I’m 11 years younger and still working and at this point need someone to be with him at all times. I’m blessed to have a friend from our church who stays with him a few days a week so I can go to work when I have…
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Thoughts on "long Alzheimer's"
My sister has "Long Covid" so I thought I would write on "Long Alzheimer's" Long Alzheimer's I will define as 10 years after diagnosis (either medical or historical) and 3 years since lapse into non conversational/non recognition states. By this definition DW has been in "long Alzheimer's" for 3 years. She is my total…
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Carrying her photography around
In Better Days, DW was an accomplished photographer. One of the best photos my wife took many years ago was of the Arlington Memorial Bridge across the Potomac. It connects two very different places: Washington, with its Lincoln Memorial, and Virginia, with Robert E. Lee’s Arlington House. I now consider that photo as a…
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An hour alone.
Hello all. I find that I am frequently looking for time to myself, I have so many “ things” I want to do. So today, my DH decided to take a nap, he thinks the Aricept makes him sleepy, and off he went. I have had almost 2 hours to myself, quiet, with the dog, in front of the fireplace. What have done? I went back thru some…
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Depressed or just tired mind?
My wife (early stage 4 Alzheimer's) sometimes gets quiet and sullen-looking. My intuition says she is depressed and I should do something to cheer her up. On the other hand I think maybe it's just getting late in the day and her mind is tired and simply doesn't want to think. Anyone else record comparable observations?…
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Seeing Colors
My wife is seeing blocks of blue whenever she looks at a window, then looks away. Anyone else have this perception? It isn't really a problem, just looking to see if others have this sort of halucination phenomonon.
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Genetic Testing for Alzheimers
Does anyone have experience with your children getting genetically tested for Alzheimers? My DH with AD never knew his father so we do not know if there is a family history on his father's side. The mother's side had no history. My son's doctor informed him he could get tested but cautioned him that a positive result could…
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A good Laugh!
Had to share … first time in months I actually laughed! Actually wholeheartedly laughed at something DH said today. I took him on a movie and dinner date about 2 weeks ago . We saw Boys in the Boat. He was on the crew team in college and I thought this would spark some memories and hopefully he would enjoy it. Well didn’t…
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Need good geriatric psychiatrist/neurologist NWDC/Md
DH with Alzheimer's recently placed in MC. Began exhibiting angry aggressive behavior at night. I want total review of treatment options, not just short term tranquilizer. Help!
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New to Group
Hi everyone. Don't know where to start, so I'll just jump in. My DH is early Onset. DH is 80 & I'm 70. I've taken over doing most household, paying bills, doing taxes. No formal dx. But his Dad, Brother & Sister all had it. Plan to have that "difficult " discussion with PCP next week. My primary concern is that he looses…
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Roaring in ears
My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimers/Dementia this past year and has been put on Donepezil 5 mg and Memantine 10mg. She is experiencing a constant roaring in her ears. She has also experienced some very high blood pressure that she has been dealing with too. She is also having problems with diarrhea. She is on so many…
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Unexpected comment from doctor…
My DH has the “Agonos” thing ( not sure I will ever recall that full word). Yet he is so painfully aware that his brain no longer works right and that he can’t think and do things any more. He cries and says he prefers to die. I was explaining this to the doc. I was a bit floored when he said that some find this to be the…
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Any advice re: stage 8?
My DH passed away Nov 24th so today it has been 2 months. On paper you would think this would be a 100 % blessing as he was 93 1/2 and was diagnosed 7 yrs ago. He had been in MC for 15 months which was in the next bldg to my independent living apartment. He was on pureed food due to swallowing problems and said very…
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Anger at myself but directed to DH
I so still see that DH is physically able and yes mentally as well to help out with simple chores. He is 4 years into VD diagnosis and I’m so confused as to what he is cabable of doing to be active and involved in daily chores etc. and what he just doesn’t want to do. He has always been a non helper all our married life…
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Physical Aggression - Facilities Will Not Take Him
This is my father who is 81 years old. We put him in Memory Care because he was starting to get violent with my mom and he was sent to Psych ward because he was hitting staff. The only meds are the meds that help are ones that knock him out completely and then when he is awake he has to be restrained with his hands tied to…
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Anger
So yesterday my dear one told me I was upset with him too much and he didn't understand why. He is right, I am. And I know he doesn't understand the burden that I carry. The constant repetitions. The constant denial of his that he should use a walker. Last night I literally threw the walker aside as I was trying to get him…