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Scripts for MC move
I’m looking for advice on what kind of stories you all have used to tell your LOs why they are moving to MC. My Care Manager advises me to make up a reason, and share this script with the MC staff, with friends and family who will visit my DW, and use it whenever I visit. Besides the dread of lying to my wife of 48 years,…
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Chosing a facility
Questions to ask before choosing an assisted living facility (msn.com)
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Newbie
Hello folks, I am 64. The man of my life (62) had started showing memory short term memory loss over the last 9/10 months . Both his parents suffered from a dementia at the time of their passing. He finally noticed enough that he agreed to get tested we’re just starting with the GP short term, memory test.After the test ,…
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Mr Toad and the Chocolate
It’s been a long time since I posted here. I am in the 16th year of the journey with my wife, now in hospice at the Memory Care Center. Her words are long gone, she’s on soft food, and her light-up-the-room smile flashes on much less often. But the person I have loved for half a century is still…the person I still and…
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My DH is losing ground, but I am not sure if it is because we moved.
My DH and I have moved twice in a little over a year. The first time we moved to a single family home to be near his brother. something my DH was sure would solve all of his problems. That was a total disaster, and as soon as the golf season was over, my DH was so depressed and anxious he couldn't leave the house. I knew…
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Certified Elder Lawyer
Does anyone have any suggestions on what questions I should ask when I meet with the Elder Lawyer? I plan on asking about Wills, trusts, Power of Attorney, and protecting assets. I am sure there is more I should ask or be worried about that I do not know.
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Hiring caregiver on my own
I'm looking for input on hiring a caregiver. I have tentatively identified a candidate experienced in Alz caregiving and used by people I vaguely know. I was told the candidate is "dependable and nothing was ever missing." It was a very brief conversation with that one reference and I want to dig to see if there are…
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Faiths roll in my journey
My DH was diagnosed about 5 years ago. As all of us know it’s been a challenging, sad time in our lives. I’m 11 years younger and still working and at this point need someone to be with him at all times. I’m blessed to have a friend from our church who stays with him a few days a week so I can go to work when I have…
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Thoughts on "long Alzheimer's"
My sister has "Long Covid" so I thought I would write on "Long Alzheimer's" Long Alzheimer's I will define as 10 years after diagnosis (either medical or historical) and 3 years since lapse into non conversational/non recognition states. By this definition DW has been in "long Alzheimer's" for 3 years. She is my total…
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Carrying her photography around
In Better Days, DW was an accomplished photographer. One of the best photos my wife took many years ago was of the Arlington Memorial Bridge across the Potomac. It connects two very different places: Washington, with its Lincoln Memorial, and Virginia, with Robert E. Lee’s Arlington House. I now consider that photo as a…
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An hour alone.
Hello all. I find that I am frequently looking for time to myself, I have so many “ things” I want to do. So today, my DH decided to take a nap, he thinks the Aricept makes him sleepy, and off he went. I have had almost 2 hours to myself, quiet, with the dog, in front of the fireplace. What have done? I went back thru some…
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Depressed or just tired mind?
My wife (early stage 4 Alzheimer's) sometimes gets quiet and sullen-looking. My intuition says she is depressed and I should do something to cheer her up. On the other hand I think maybe it's just getting late in the day and her mind is tired and simply doesn't want to think. Anyone else record comparable observations?…
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Seeing Colors
My wife is seeing blocks of blue whenever she looks at a window, then looks away. Anyone else have this perception? It isn't really a problem, just looking to see if others have this sort of halucination phenomonon.
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Genetic Testing for Alzheimers
Does anyone have experience with your children getting genetically tested for Alzheimers? My DH with AD never knew his father so we do not know if there is a family history on his father's side. The mother's side had no history. My son's doctor informed him he could get tested but cautioned him that a positive result could…
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A good Laugh!
Had to share … first time in months I actually laughed! Actually wholeheartedly laughed at something DH said today. I took him on a movie and dinner date about 2 weeks ago . We saw Boys in the Boat. He was on the crew team in college and I thought this would spark some memories and hopefully he would enjoy it. Well didn’t…
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Need good geriatric psychiatrist/neurologist NWDC/Md
DH with Alzheimer's recently placed in MC. Began exhibiting angry aggressive behavior at night. I want total review of treatment options, not just short term tranquilizer. Help!
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New to Group
Hi everyone. Don't know where to start, so I'll just jump in. My DH is early Onset. DH is 80 & I'm 70. I've taken over doing most household, paying bills, doing taxes. No formal dx. But his Dad, Brother & Sister all had it. Plan to have that "difficult " discussion with PCP next week. My primary concern is that he looses…
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Roaring in ears
My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimers/Dementia this past year and has been put on Donepezil 5 mg and Memantine 10mg. She is experiencing a constant roaring in her ears. She has also experienced some very high blood pressure that she has been dealing with too. She is also having problems with diarrhea. She is on so many…
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Unexpected comment from doctor…
My DH has the “Agonos” thing ( not sure I will ever recall that full word). Yet he is so painfully aware that his brain no longer works right and that he can’t think and do things any more. He cries and says he prefers to die. I was explaining this to the doc. I was a bit floored when he said that some find this to be the…
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Any advice re: stage 8?
My DH passed away Nov 24th so today it has been 2 months. On paper you would think this would be a 100 % blessing as he was 93 1/2 and was diagnosed 7 yrs ago. He had been in MC for 15 months which was in the next bldg to my independent living apartment. He was on pureed food due to swallowing problems and said very…
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Anger at myself but directed to DH
I so still see that DH is physically able and yes mentally as well to help out with simple chores. He is 4 years into VD diagnosis and I’m so confused as to what he is cabable of doing to be active and involved in daily chores etc. and what he just doesn’t want to do. He has always been a non helper all our married life…
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Physical Aggression - Facilities Will Not Take Him
This is my father who is 81 years old. We put him in Memory Care because he was starting to get violent with my mom and he was sent to Psych ward because he was hitting staff. The only meds are the meds that help are ones that knock him out completely and then when he is awake he has to be restrained with his hands tied to…
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Anger
So yesterday my dear one told me I was upset with him too much and he didn't understand why. He is right, I am. And I know he doesn't understand the burden that I carry. The constant repetitions. The constant denial of his that he should use a walker. Last night I literally threw the walker aside as I was trying to get him…
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For those of you who didn't see this - Free 5 day course
I've mentioned this before, but I know we have several new members who could use this. It's also good for other members, wherever they are in this fight with dementia.…
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Need A Bigger Boat
I’m counting down the days to our first actual Dr. (neurologist) appointment. Am I putting too much stock in this first appt? Two weeks today. Am I going to get any actual answers? I fear not. Does anyone know what I can expect at this appt? This morning about 3am we apparently had a pinhole pipe leak in the game room…
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Update and question
DH went directly from the hospital to MC on Tuesday. A friend drove me there on Wednesday so I could take him some clothes and also to start the paperwork needed for his admittance. I hadn't planned on visiting him as I wanted to give him a few days to get settled in. To my surprise, the administrator said he was settling…
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New member with questions
My DH, age 81, with AD and Probable VD was officially diagnosed in 2021, but showed symptoms of the disease much earlier. I think he is stage 6. I am blessed that he is cooperative and seldom agitated. He has not been driving since before diagnosis and it has not been an issue for him. So here is my question: His driver's…
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Joint POA and sudden weight loss
I am wondering if anyone has had experience with using a joint POA. My DS and I are thinking that we might need a Plan B for MC placement should I become unable to care for DH , even for a short period. DS would like to visit facilities and even perhaps put DH on any waitlists for placement that he might encounter. Both of…
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feeling resentful
Hi. I am new to this site. My husband was just recently diagnosed with early onset Alzheimers. He just turned 60. We have had a tumultuous year as he is a doctor and had to retire, had a serious automobile accident, and now is facing criminal charges from that accident. For the most part, he is independent but struggles…
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How do I know I’m not the problem?
Am I being tough enough through this journey. Visited DH in the hospital. He is constantly irate with me for deserting him. The entire duration of our visit is focused on bringing him home. then he starts asking why he is there. At home he was doing a lot of ranting and raving related to delusions. He’d become verbally…