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My Mean Mom Doesn’t Want to be here
My 83 yo mom has had signs of dementia going on 10 years. She was officially diagnosed last year. Why so long? My brother couldn’t fit into his schedule to get her examined during the last 5 years she lived with him. Prior to that we weren’t really sure it was dementia, she was still reasonably normal just lost things…
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Newbie Here: I need direction and help. This is new to me
I have read all the posts on this forum to date, and I appreciate the input. But my situation has some new elements, and I haven't seen all of them mentioned in one post: First, my mother is 82 years old, lives by herself on an isolated farm in Arkansas, where she has lived for 60 years. Her nearest neighbor is about a…
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Helping Mom with finances…
How do I get my mom to trust me to help her with her finances? She is in middle stage, but insists there’s nothing wrong with her. She goes to the bank and harasses the poor manager there 2 to 3 times a week. She wants to take thousands of dollars out of her account all the time. Technically, she can, but it’s not safe or…
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How to deal with some siblings about moving Mom to a memory care facility
My Mom has 24/7 home health care for 4 years. She is having more episodes each week and her mobilty is getting worse that she almost needs 2 people to transfer her. My siblings and I are thinking of moving her to a facility. However, 2 siblings out of 5 will reject the idea no matter what and not really thinking about the…
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Wrong care facility??
My LO has always been overly sensitive and that seems to be getting worse as the disease progresses. She can't hear so the caregivers speak loudly. (She tells me that they yell at her all of the time) She's not always cognitively aware so the caregivers speak loudly to try to guide her. (She tells me that they yell at her…
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Sudden worsening of symptoms
Hi all, I am new here. My dad was diagnosed with dementia in March of 2023. I still live at home with him and my mom. He had been living pretty normally since his diagnosis with a mild decline as to be expected. At his last doctor appointment on Monday 1/29/24 his doctor started him on Wellbutrin to aide in his depression…
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Brother Communicated With Me
I just have to share my good news with you lovely people. After 6 months of taking care of my mom without a peep from my brother, literally not communicating with me at all, he finally sent me several texts today. He's ready to engage. I feel a million times lighter! ❤️
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Long Distance caregiver soon temporary in-person/primary - advice?
Hello all! My mom (79) has moderate Alzheimer's. I live in another state with my husband and kids, but I will be in the role of fulltime caregiver temporarily in a couple weeks, because my Dad has to have a triple bypass and valve replacement. Mom can carry on conversations, but won't remember them - gets lost, needs help…
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Dad thinks I am my mom
I need recommendations on how to deal with this ... dad called me tonight in tears saying how much he missed me and wished we could still be married. I gently said, daddy, it's me, your daughter. I think you might be thinking about mom...I tried to change the subject, tried to talk about what a great marriage he had with…
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Don't think I'm the caregiver type...
Hi everyone, I don't get on here often, but do appreciate the support and I read alot of the comments on other discussions I can relate to. I just would like some input on something that is troubling me. Mom has taken a turn for the worse...I find myself wanting to avoid her, hide or leave for an errand. I don't have…
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Sundowning, frequent bathroom trips and "wanting to go home."
My mom, who just turned 90, has been in Assisted Living/MC since September. She has adjusted well and participates often in activities. While she hasn't been officially diagnosed with Alzheimers, her behaviour and symptoms fit the profile and she likely is in late stage 4. She was able to bring her two beloved cats with…
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Any advice on selling the house?
My Mom has (hopefully) transitioned to Assisted Living. She cannot afford to pay for it just with her income, her home will have to be sold. I am wondering how adult children dealt with the sale of the home when their parent is in the early stages of dementia. How long did you wait after the AL transition to start the…
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When did you know it was time to move LO from AL to MC?
I've lived far away from LO for many years. My brother and I decided it was time for her to move to AL in December and that it was best if it is near me. I tricked her into visiting and temporarily staying in a community since no one is home during the day and she would have more to do. She still thinks that it is…
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Specific diagnosis - Memory Center
Hi everyone, I hope your nights are going ok. Mine is the usual. Call from MC they couldn't find my mom for 30 minutes (she was hiding in her closet under clothes). Long story short: yesterday she had fecal incontinence, was very embarrassed, blamed it on someone else, resisted but finally let the director shower her. They…
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Filing taxes
It's tax time and my dad usually does it. But now with his dementia, he gets too confused. He might not be able to gather all the paperwork for someone to do it for him. Any suggestions?
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UTI and keeping clean
Mom is toward the end of stage 4 dementia. She can’t drive, handle finances, handle her own medication. She is still able to make a sandwich, get dressed and shower on her own. She is very independent and often thinks she can do things she can’t (mow the lawn). The dementia has also effected her moods. She gets very grumpy…
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Coughing/Choking
Hi everyone, I wonder if anybody could offer some advice or share insight on this? My dad in recent weeks has begun having lengthy coughing fits that sound like choking. He doesn't have any evident difficulty chewing or swallowing food. Does this sound common and would anybody recommend any course of action? Dad was…
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Hello
Good afternoon. After reading my Alzheimer’s devotional this morning, I was led to connect with other caregivers. My mother has Alzheimer’s and vascular dementia. My sister and I care for her in her home along with two paid caregivers. It’s hard. Mom was officially diagnosed in 2020, and she is steadily regressing. I feel…
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Time for Nursing Home for Mom - How/when to have conversation/s with her
My Mom has had 24/7 home health care for 3 years. Her dementia and her mobility have gotten progressively worse where it is time to look at nursing homes. How do we (my sibings and I) talk to her about a nursing home???? In the past for years, she has hated the idea of nursing homes. Her Mom was in one for 2 weeks. way…
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Palliative care team advice
My dad's palliative care team is really pushing hard on my mom to make arrangements for POA. I'm glad they're pushing that instead of my suggestion. My mom told me my uncle currently has POA but I called him about it and he said he is just the beneficiary of her will. Now, my nephew is sole beneficiary so my uncle's is…
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How did your LO with early-mid dementia adjust to moving to MC?
Do you have a loved one who moved into memory care when they were still somewhat independent/early/mid dementia? What was it like moving them, did they adjust well? Did they make friends?
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Mental Health Care
Hello everybody! I am currently looking for some mental health care options for myself (CG) and my mama (LO), but I am having a difficult time finding therapists/psychiatrists that have experience treating those with dementia/caregivers for LO with dementia. Every one that I've been in contact with either does have…
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I just need to write some stuff down.
My mom is about to turn 88, alzheimers (I think possibly Lewy body), lives with me, is on Namenda and Seroquel which seem to calm hallucinations, perseverating, etc. Without those meds, it's bonkers around here. She is a lovely mom in many ways, but also the most self-centered person I've ever known (prior to this…
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My Mental Health
Hello, my mom is in the final stages of Alzheimer's. I still go see her at the NH and it still is so painful to see such a vibrant woman deteriorate for the past 7 years. I don't know if she knows who I am or who she is at times I say to my self "why go"? It's good when I see her and she is still in bed, her hair is not…
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An Old Question With Many Answers
When I took care of both my parents at home, I certainly did not always make the right decisions for them and for myself. I understand everyone here must find their own way and no one should criticize. I tried to do my best and certainly there are many here who are doing the same. I often write about and admire loving,…
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Hunger
Mom eats breakfast and then 45 minutes later is asking for more food. Does the same at lunch. Has a mid afternoon snack. Doesn’t seem to have problem at dinner time. Eats really fast - chewing food and has spoon lifted to out more in even though she’s not done chewing. When we try to get her to slow down she says she’s…
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Caregiving Burnout
Hello everyone. I’m new here. I could really use some advice. Can anyone recommend someone to talk to about how to handle severe dementia and sundowners? I’m single and live with my parents…only one is suffering from dementia. But it just feels like everything is in my shoulders. Clean the house. Do the laundry. Take care…
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Better places to look for help
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Has Anyone Gotten Non-Driver ID in a new state for a PWD?
Last year, we moved my extremely elderly LO last year across the country to be near me. I would like to get them a non-Driver's ID for our state. I have been gathering up documents but there seems to be no way to do it without taking them in person to the motor vehicle bureau. I might be better off trying to just renew the…
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Fearing the future
My 83 yo Dad was diagnosed in November 2023. I’m guessing he’s in late 2 or early 3 stage. Still lives alone and drives. We visited 3 IL places. He doesn’t want to move from his 3K sq. ft. house into 900 sf. What have been your experiences moving your parent to AL or MC at later stages? I’m also his caregiver paying bills,…