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Jekyll and Hyde - Is this normal?
My dad was diagnosed with VD this year, he moved into a nice AL facility in February with, on the whole, good aids and nurses. I'll start off by saying my dad has never had a sunny disposition. Many times a week when I call him or visit, he tells me how miserable he is at his AL, and when I ask him what's going on, he…
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Moving loved one into MC
I am trying to move my mother into MC and after being very passive, she is now adamant about staying in her house (she says is her mothers who has been dead for over 55 years). How do you make this change as seamless as possible? :s :s
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Incontinence denial
I moved my dad in AL about 6 weeks ago. He's started having incontinence issues and is peeing himself all the time. He was already extremely stubborn before the dementia. He denies that he's peeing himself, refuses to wear diapers, refuses any assistance with showering or changing. If they tell him his clothes are covered…
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Dad (primary) starting to sound impatient with me (secondary)
Hello! Secondary caregiver/daughter here with questions about some new family discord that's forming between me and my father, who's the primary for my mother who has moderate/severe dementia ("probably" Alzheimers) as well as recently diagnosed giant cell arteritis. Recently Dad has started sounding impatient with me, and…
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I want to be finished
Today I went to a funeral of my friend's mother. I was jealous. JEALOUS! How horrible am I? I think very. She lost her dad three years ago. Her mom wasn't all that sick, just unlucky with a case of pneumonia. I lost my mom over 10 years ago (to cancer) and have been dealing with my dad's illness for close to 8 years now. I…
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Trying to get my mom to stop driving and except my son moving in and helping her
My mom is living in a new city for about 3 years since my dad died. She is scared to drive too far and complains all the time about it, which is fine with me because she was not driving safely before. She was going 25 in a 45 speed zone. She only drives on a back street that runs from her house behind major stores and…
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Transition from one MC to another - Guilty and Venting
My DH and I moved from California to Arizona. After we were settled, at about 6 weeks, I went back to CA to fly my Mom to AZ. I am the now the only child and the POA for Mom. The trip through the airport, the security, the airplane ride, arriving at the new MC facility all went smoothly. Mom lived in the moment and enjoyed…
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Parent diagnosed in January
Hi I am new here and feeling completely overwhelmed! My mother was diagnosed in January but the woman that tested my mother felt she has had Alz. for awhile. I am one of four siblings and 3 of the 4 live in the same city. We have divided up between us each taking a day or a portion of a day to help my mom. Errands,…
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Mom wants to change her will
Hello, Please bear with me as it's my first time posting. My mom is 91, and was recently diagnosed with moderately severe dementia. My dad died of pancreatic cancer in March, and this is the first time she has lived alone in 68 years. We have noticed signs of forgetfulness and unreasonable paranoia for the last couple of…
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New to this
My mom is currently in a skilled nursing facility due to the fact she fell down the stairs a month ago and suffered a traumatic brain injury. She is currently getting OT, PT and speech therapy but her cognitive abilities are seemingly declining. Neurologist hasn't said a particular type of dementia or if it is in fact…
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Professional Hairstylist
Hello I live in Philadelphia, Pa in West Philadelphia. I am a caregiver along with my other family members for my 77yr old Mom who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. We are looking for a professional hairstylist who's willing to come to the house and do her hair; someone who's caring, compassionate and most of all patient. We…
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Shunt responsive NPH
neurologist just called and said looking at imaging she is fairly certain the diagnosis is shunt responsive NPH. I have an appt with neurosurgery at the top hospital next week which I already made because this neurologist was terrible and never called me back (this is the first time after having seen my mom 9 months and 1…
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At Home Care- Language/Hearing Barrier
Hello! I am new here and hoping to find some recommendations in the Dallas area. My mom has early onset and some good days and some bad days lately. Her doctor said she needs companionship at all times, but that's very hard on me and my sister as we work full time jobs. She lives with my sister and because I work from…
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Advice needed - what’s appropriate expectations?
Hi everyone, I need some advice. My mom moved last November into a “hospitality style” senior living facility with independent living, assisted living, and memory care. It’s one building in a large city. So far it has been great - most residents have memory issues of some kind. She is somewhere between IL and AL - stepped…
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My Mom
Hi. I'm new to this forum. I place my mom in a MC facility in May. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. I still have guilty feelings about it that I'm trying to work through. She seems to be doing well right now. She is 74 years old. She has scoliosis and osteoporosis very bad but she is able to walk.…
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Neurologist
Hi, How often do you take your parent to the neurologist. I don't see the need since his PC is a geriatrician and can handle his meds. What would be the need? Am I doing the wrong thing? Thanks, M
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One more question…….should I talk to him over phone?
I didn’t bring his phone to the AL because he doesn’t remember how to use it and if he does finally figure it out he calls me over and over and over again. I told him I was going out of town so I haven’t called him. I was going to go tomorrow but delayed my visit so it won’t be as hard for him. Should I call him through…
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Navigating NYC area memory care?
My 93 year old mother-in-law has severe dementia (stage 6?) and is in nursing home rehab after a hospitalization. Next step is likely memory care facility or nursing home. Is MC considered a subset of AL? Is a nursing home different than MC? It's all a bit confusing to navigate — and rehab apparently will only last 28 days…
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My mother is either lying or confused about things she does
Hello, my mother is 85 and has been diagnosed with dementia. Her main issues is that she has very poor hygiene and when I ask her about brushing her teeth or changing her disposable underwear as well as eating and taking her medicine. She insists she is doing these things however I can tell she is not because the…
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My dad has dementia and is getting worse every month. I need someone to talk to.
My dad has had dementia tia for a while but this year it's getting much worse, and worse by the month. My sister has out herself in charge of finding a facility for my parents ..which I am grateful for.. my parents live 10hr drive from me as does my sister. We are all spread apart. The idea is to move them near my sister…
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medications
Hi everyone, I'm reaching out for advice, experience, etc. My step father is in a memory care facility with somewhere middle to late stage 6 Alz. He has to have total assistance in his daily dressing and bathroom needs. He is double incontinent. He can feed himself. He can actually read the names on the doors of each…
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Today my mother fell into a complete delusion and psychosis
It’s the weekend and I absolutely do not know what to do or where we should go to get my mom help since her Alzheimer’s doctor me office is closed but she has fallen into a complete psychosis. She is 62. She has early Alzheimer’s and although she is completely forgetful this is all absolutely new behavior and she keeps…
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Trying to deal with parent
I believe my 87 year old mother has alzheimers. She hasnt been diagnosed with it but my sister and I have noticed signs that she has it. Her mother had it and it was really bad and hard to watch but now that we think my mom has it we dont really know how to handle things with her. She gets angry very easy and throws temper…
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My Mom is following me all the time
My Mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease last October. She scored very low on her MOCA test. The Neurologist put her in the Moderate to Severe stage of this disease. She has been living with me since we sold her house. She goes to an adult daycare full time days so I can work. The problem I am having is that my Mom…
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Hard times
It has been 6 months since my parents had to be placed in memory care. Instead of things getting better, they're getting worse. All the therapeutic fibs in the world won't change how they feel and their confusion and anger. It keeps me awake at night not knowing how to handle it. They've convinced themselves that they put…
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How to Practice Positivity
I know it may be an odd title but I'm struggling with being positive, overcoming negative thoughts/false beliefs/unhappy feelings. In my situation having mom home is better than placing her permanently in a facility for multiple reasons. It's give and take with regards to 'honoring her wishes' so I do what I can with the…
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Progression of disease
My father is going to be 95 in a few months. Diagnosed in 2018. I think he is starting to go into the later stage, but I'm not sure. He doesn't always remember my name though he remembers who I am. He lives in his apartment with a full time aide. I live close by and speak to him numerous times a day and see him more and…
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I would give anything to have my mom comfort me for 2 minutes...
My mom is still in the early to mid stages of ALZ, and one of the most noticeable changes in her personality, is that she no longer shows concern for other people's feelings. That's why it's so hard to spend time with her since my dad passed away in May - because she only talks about her own grief. I listen to her and hug…
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How to deal with all the phone calls
I moved my dad into AL about 6 weeks ago. He's always been very stubborn and was convinced he was totally fine, so the move was really a struggle. We convinced him his house was being fumigated and he needed to stay somewhere else temporarily. The first ~3 weeks were fine, but now he's calling nearly every day asking me to…