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Advice about phone use
Hi all. I'm new here. My mom has Alzheimers and has been living with us for the last 1 1/2 years. She is not able to live alone nor drive; she tends to her own personal hygiene needs - but otherwise is dependent on us for all other day to day needs. As we would expect, we have experienced a progressive decline. Our biggest…
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Anger, two parents
I don’t even know where to begin. My dad had a stroke the end of may and my mom demanded that he be able to come Home after his rehab even though all the kids were recommending they consider moving to even an IL. During his initial recovery it became clear moms memory issues were waaayyy worse than we had realized. The…
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Are people able to keep their careers while caregiving?
My Mom was diagnosed with Lewy Body about 18 months ago and has remained living on her own in our hometown while my sister and I live in a city about 4 hours away. She recently fell and fractured her arm, so I have been here taking care of her for a couple weeks now. I have worked my way up at my company over 25 years and…
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New to all this. Help get me started to help my Mom
Hello all. As I said in the title - I pretty new to this. My Mom got diagnosed about 3 years ago. Is in independent living (in a facility with Assisted Living and Memory Care. Soon will have to move her to higher level care. She is fighting us kids on this - saying she will die 1st before she moves. But she is listneing to…
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my mom
My mom has dementia, seems to be progressing fast. She lives alone, I live close by. My siblings live a few hours away. I'm trying to get her to stay with me but she asks to go home a lot. We've recently started having an aide come. She is VERY resistant to this. She forgets why the lady comes, who she is, etc, etc. I feel…
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Not cooking-forgetting to turn off stove
hello, for safety reasons, my mom is no longer cooking because she has forgotten to turn off the stove many times. Are there any adaptive tools we can purchase to help get her back to cooking? Like an alarm to tell us that the stove is on (probably doesn't exist). She has a gas stove. We just don’t want her to feel like…
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Mom thinks we live in an identical home across town
Mom (MIL) was diagnosed with dementia, most likely Alzheimer's, last November. My husband and I moved in with her about 2 months ago. Dad passed away last June. A number of months ago Mom would tell us about Dad working on a house across town that was identical in every way, inside and out, to her house. She marveled at it…
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 11/1/23
ALL MY HEART Matthew 22:37 New Living Translation 37 Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ TODAY’S VITAMIN When we love God with all our heart, soul and mind, it means we put Him first in our lives. Nothing is more important than spending time with Him in…
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I give Mom (91) food but she forgets about it and doesn't eat it
This is a relatively new and now repeating occurrence in her deterioration. Is this common? My wife and I will have to help her to eat her food because she is no longer able to manage that task alone. What stage of dementia might she be in at this point? Thank you.
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RCF falsely progressed my mom's dementia and I feel so guilty
Hello- my mom has dementia and was not adjusting well to a new RCF (first few days). So they gave her risperidone. I asked them to stop it and they told me they did, but they really didn't. Several times, at the beginning, hospice kept assuring me that the RCF had stopped the meds. But they kept giving it to her…
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New and Overwhelmed
Hello Everyone, Early this month my Dad was finally properly diagnosed with ES after a prior diagnosis of MCI earlier this summer. Mom (73) is still active and has a sharp brain still, but this even has overwhelmed her. She is scared of having to put things on hold for herself just to take care of Dad. She find the Alz…
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New chair woes (long)
For the background on this, see my "recliner chair" post from 9/13/23. @SDianeL, thank you for posting the link to the Haverty's chair. I also took @harshedbuzz 's suggestion to speak with an OT friend, who among other advice said NOT to purchase anything mom hadn't actually sat in. So we went to Haverty's and found that…
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Worried and sad and cautiously optimistic
My mom has NPH and most likely another dementia diagnosis. I say this because her dementia/memory issue has progressed so rapidly in 2 years. I moved as fast as I could: in 1.5 years I got her placed, diagnosed, and surgery is scheduled in 2 weeks. Not bragging, just noting how fast it has been. Now, I feel I may still…
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Should my Mom(who has dementia) move in with me and my family?
Hello, I'm seriously considering relocating my Mom from her home in Puerto Rico to live with me and my family in New Jersey. Mom has dementia and needs assistance with daily stuff like personal hygiene and meals. Although there's family in Puerto Rico that are close, everyone is too busy to help her every day. We can't…
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Repeats one word over and over
I wrote about our plight at an awful RCF in another post, but as a result of that whole mess, my mom has gotten into a mode recently of only saying one word, at the same cadence, over and over again, all day long. Any time she's awake, she'll say "ok" or "ok-oh" with a one or two second break and then say it again all day…
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More Men Are Taking Care of Aging Parents. They Feel Unprepared.
Good WSJ article here: https://www.wsj.com/health/wellness/men-caregivers-aging-parents-sons-ba7a6d71?st=2mo7qktf0ucw7yt&reflink=desktopwebshare_permalink
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Mom Was Served
Good evening/morning/afternoon everyone! Yesterday was kind of a shock and I'm looking for some guidance. My mother got served court papers for a dental procedure she had never paid for. Long story short about 5 years ago she was told prior to the procedure that it would be covered by insurance, however once the procedure…
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Overwhelmed and adjusting
Hello, my mom was diagnosed with MCI vs early stages dementia. She’s 59. I would describe her to still have most of her independence but the dr has asked her to stop driving. She’s also got into trouble at work and idk if she should stop working. Working I feel keeps her in routine and I feel it would make her depressed if…
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Activities for Mom
I'm new here and looking forward to getting some info on navigating this tough time! My mom (71) has been diagnosed with dementia. She is still living at home with my Dad and is ok, but she wants something to do. I think she's missing work and being involved more significantly in church. I'm wondering if anyone has any…
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Caring for Yourself
This is for anyone who is in the condition of doing more for others than you are doing for yourself. The following is a paraphrased summary of a message sent to me. Hope it helps. There is and will always be unmet needs and no matter how many hours you work, how strong/gifted/smart you are you will never be able to handle…
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Feeling guilty for getting the diagnosis
Hi all I'm new here, I'm sorry this is a bit long. I've been providing support to my 86-year-old mother who is the primary caregiver for my PWD, my 93-year-old father. He has really only been clearly showing signs for 12 to 18 months, but he now has severe aphasia, and difficulty finding words. He is having memory issues…
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Lists
So yesterday I started a new job that is 100% work from home. I was so glad to get it so I can be home with mom during the day. Mom's doing so much better after this summer's problems due to her breaking her shoulder. She's nearly finished physical therapy. My question has to do with lists. Mom does pretty well when she…
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Unreliable source (sort of funny)
So I needed a humor break today. We are SO close to surgery. Just need cardiologist sign off for anesthesia and pre op consultation and we’re set. If had to live in memory care (and hers would be a first choice), I would need hot coffee to feel like a human and an adult. So I have really advocated to them for coffee on…
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Balancing Act
Hello Everyone, I've posted about this over the years and now it's time to implement a schedule for breaks, vacations, and time-a-way. My options are: 1) Take breaks up to 6-months at a time under the respite voucher and place mom in SNF. They are most equipped to handle most of her needs but not dementia or managing…
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Mental illness adult siblings
I’m wondering if any other families are grappling with the added complexity of having a mentally ill sibling incapable of providing adequate care, but dependent financially on a parent with dementia. I had to intervene 6 months ago and remove my mom from an abusive living situation with my brother. Mom had tried to get him…
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Practicing Detachment in Caregiving
Hello, I am the only child/solo caregiver for 91 yr old mother with Dementia/multiple health issues, I am the emotional, hands on, engaged type who does all things to full throttle. This approach does not work when dealing with aging in general and dementia in particular. I have to learn how to detach from the caregiving…
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Setting Boundaries on Home Maintenance
Mom was diagnosed with dementia several months ago, and is in the moderate stages. Her siblings, her doctor and I have all talked with her about AL, but she is digging her heels in and refusing to move. She lives in a big house by herself that requires significant maintenance. Several weeks ago, her TV broke and she was in…
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Anger
Hello everyone.My name is Ashley.I am my grandmother’s caregiver.She has undiagnosed dementia.She has all the signs and symptoms.We actually go next months for diagnosis.I am 35 finishing my degree and I care for her alone.My mom is in a rehabilitation facility because of major mobility issues and I ensure she is taken…
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Struggling with resentment
My mom is still in MC but is really pushing to go back to AL. Because she is on the cusp of needing it, her facility would allow it. She has NPH and has (thank god!) finally agreed to get the surgery. We all agreed that she’ll stay in MC, get the surgery, and we’ll see how things go from there. Here is my challenge: she…
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Managing money
My mom is approximately at level 5 Alz. Her brother who she hangs with every day drives her anywhere she wants to go. My problem; my mom goes to her bank at least 4 days a week. At the bank she will regularly withdraw $50–100 at a time. For example it is 10/20, she has withdrawn $900. How can I stop this action?